Hi How are we all doing? I promised at the tail end of last year that I’m going to start using this blog and my Facebook page to help with certain conditions or emotions etc. Well today I’m going to start doing that.
I want to start with self esteem. I’m starting with this one as it’s very close to me heart. Way back when I lost a lot of self esteem due to illness, and it was due to self hypnosis that I regained my self esteem and my own self belief. That is why I am now a full time hypnotherapist and that is also why I want to share some tips that helped me.
So what is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves. It’s based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves, which can sometimes feel really difficult to change.
Your self-esteem can affect whether you:
- like and value yourself as a person. Do you?
- are able to make decisions and assert yourself. Can you?
- recognise your strengths and positives. Do you think positive about yourself?
- feel able to try new or difficult things. Are you scared to?
- show kindness towards yourself. Do you do this?
- move past mistakes without blaming yourself unfairly. It’s not easy.
- take the time you need for yourself. Sp many of us don’t do this.
- believe you matter and are good enough. Of course you are good enough.
- believe you deserve happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy.
For me, building self-esteem was about learning what self-esteem was in the first place. It was unlearning what I had learned about myself … I went back to self-school and learned all about me.
What can cause low self-esteem?
The things that affect our self-esteem differs for everyone. Your self-esteem might change suddenly, or you might have had low self-esteem for a while – which might make it hard to recognise how you feel and make changes.
Difficult or stressful life experiences can often be a factor, such as:
- being bullied or abused
- experiencing prejudice, discrimination or stigma
- losing your job or difficulty finding employment
- problems at work or while studying
- ongoing stress
- physical health problems. This was my change point.
- mental health problems
- relationship problems, separation or divorce
- worries about your appearance and body image
- problems with money or housing.
You might have had some of these experiences, and you might also have had difficulties that aren’t listed here. Or there might not be one particular cause.
My self esteem has almost disappeared…. I don’t know how to interact with people anymore and find it hard to enjoy the things that I like
Whatever has affected your self-esteem, it’s important to remember that you have the right to feel good about who you are. It might feel as if changing things will be difficult, but there are lots of things you can try to improve things bit by bit.
So how can I improve my self-esteem?
This blog has some tips and suggestions for improving your self-esteem.
Some people may find these ideas useful, but remember that different things work for different people at different times. Only try what you feel comfortable with, and try not to put too much pressure on yourself. If something isn’t working for you (or doesn’t feel possible just now), you can try something else, or come back to it another time.
Some peoples just presume [their dislike of themselves] was a part of who they are … It is only when you realise that your self-esteem doesn’t have to be negative so start challenging your own ideas about yourself.
Be kind to yourself
- Get to know yourself. Try to learn more about yourself – for example what makes you happy and what you value in life. Some people say they find it helpful to write in a journal.
- Let yourself have feelings. It’s important to remember that you’re a human being who can experience a wide range of emotions.
- Consider what self-esteem means to you. You might realise you’re basing your sense of self-worth on things that aren’t useful or helpful for you.
Realising that I can change my ideas about what I base my self-esteem on has helped. I can’t do what I used to, but I can be the kind of person I want to be and now that seems more important to me
- Try to challenge unkind thoughts about yourself. You might automatically put yourself down. If you find yourself doing this, it can help to ask: “Would I talk to, or think about, a friend in this way?”
- Avoid comparing yourself to others. Try to remember that what other people choose to share about their lives isn’t the full picture and comparing ourselves isn’t realistic.
- Say positive things to yourself. It might feel really strange at first, but you’ll feel more comfortable the more you do it.
I’ve come to realise that people get to choose what they present about themselves online … In reality, no one’s life is perfect and everyone has insecurities, and it’s important to remember this in order to not feel bad about yourself every time you see somebody post the ‘perfect’ selfie
Look after yourself
- Try to get enough sleep. Getting too little or too much sleep can have a big impact on how you feel.
- Think about your diet. Eating regularly and keeping your blood sugar stable can make a difference to your mood and energy levels.
- Try to do some physical activity. Exercise can be really helpful for your mental wellbeing and some people find it helps improve their self-esteem.
- Spend time outside. Spending time in green space can help your wellbeing.
Taking a few minutes for myself each day can really help me feel better.
Try to notice the good things
- Celebrate your successes. No matter how small they may seem, take time to praise yourself and notice what you did well. It could also help to remember past successes.
- Accept compliments. You could make a note of them to look over when you’re feeling low or doubting yourself.
- Ask people what they like about you. It’s likely that they see you differently to how you see yourself.
That’s made a start and I will continue with self esteem in my next blog. but as it is valentines day this week. the best piece of advice I want to give you is
Love yourself first.
Till next time