You never know who is listening!

Hi.

How are we all doing? I had a lovely day last Saturday in London. My Son who is a Grenadier Guard was part of the Trooping the Colour which is the Queens official birthday. It was a lovely day seeing him in his uniform and carrying out his duties.

Now apart from wanting to share with you how proud I was of my Son, I also want to point out how important it is not to listen to that inner critic. My last blog was all about that monkey brain I want to carry on from that, I want to talk about how you talk to yourself. Either out loud or silently in your head. Our sub conscious brain is always listening. Midway through his training my son hit a brick wall. He started to tell himself he couldn’t do. He became very negative. Change that thought, change your mind. Our subconscious wants to keep us safe so if you say you can’t do something it will believe you so it won’t let you do it. If you tell yourself you only have bad luck, that is all that you will focus on. You will have good luck but it will pass by unnoticed  as you are too busy looking for the next bad thing to happen.

Nb. My Son not only made it through his training he has just signed up for another 4 years.

In an average 15 hour waking day it is reported we think up to 50,000 thoughts. If this is true, that’s about one thought every second. Oops there goes another one. Seems unbelievable if you think about. Oops there goes another one. I’m sure it isn’t news to you that your mind is busy…really busy! Right?  If you stop and consciously listen to your thinking, what you’ll notice is that most of your thoughts are in the sound of your own voice. They are constantly analysing, plotting, planning, commentating, reviewing, judging, discerning, agreeing, arguing, praising, worrying, appreciating, doubting, loathing, rehearsing… and a lot of this is happening involuntarily and unconsciously. In fact, psychologists say that 95% of your thinking occurs at the level of the subconscious, leaving just 5% that you are actually aware of.

Because your thoughts are in the sound of your own voice and are constant, incessant and unrelenting, like a pinball in a pinball machine bouncing from one thought to another, it’s reasonable to arrive at the conclusion that this is who you are, you are that voice inside your mind.

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It may come as a surprise to discover that the voice inside your mind, although it may sound like you, is not actually you. That voice is actually just your thoughts structured in language that only sounds like the voice you speak in. So if you aren’t the voice, or in some cases voices, inside your mind, then who are you?

You are you. That voice which could be from years back, maybe a parent, a Grandparent or perhaps a teacher. However over the years that voice has become you, so you think it’s you putting you down, telling you your not good enough, telling you you don’t deserve praise as you could have it so much better.

There’s a terrible battle going inside your mind right now, according to an old Cherokee.

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There are two wolves inside us all battling to see who will take over. One is negative— full of anger, envy, resentment, greed, sorrow, judgement, inferiority, criticism, and doubt. The other wolf is good — full of joy, appreciation, love, kindness, empathy, understanding, confidence, compassion, and clarity.

This fight is going inside of you. Even if you don’t notice it.

“Which wolf will win?” — You may ask, as this Cherokee’s grandson did.

“The one you feed the most.” — the wise grandfather simply replied.

Your thoughts are those two wolves. When you feed the negative animal, your mind loses clarity. You won’t be able to get rid of the bad wolf. It exists within you for a reason. Personal growth is about accepting your entire self instead of hiding your flaws.

Taming the negative wolf, not killing it — that’s how you neutralise your thoughts from causing pain and suffering. Having emotions and thoughts is normal. Letting them take over your behaviour, that’s the problem. When you believe you are what you feel and think, you lose perspective. There’s nothing wrong with thinking. It helps us understand matters, make decisions, and solve problems. The issue emerges when your judgmental wolf takes over. That’s when you look ‘from’ your thoughts.

Too much thinking can get you distracted. Your inner wolves can cloud your mind. Until they start eating you alive. Piece by Piece.

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Thoughts do not control our actions unless we allow them to do so. Remember not to overfeed your negative wolf. Neither your thoughts nor your emotions can determine how you behave. You are not what you suffer from.

We can’t escape from our thoughts (or emotions), but we can decide what we do in spite of them. Tame your internal wolves, rather than kill them.

 A practical exercise to experience this first-hand. Silently repeat to yourself: “I can’t lift my arm.” Say it over and over. Lift your arm up as you continue to say: “I can’t lift my arm.” So you lifted it in spite of your thoughts, right? But you probably hesitated though.

You are so used to believing what your mind tells you it that can easily mislead you. Becoming aware of the power of your thoughts is the first step towards defusing their influence.

Stay in control of your thoughts. Talk nicely to yourself.

Until next time

Jon XX

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