Hi welcome to my Valentine’s Blog.
If you are with your ideal partner today, or with your soul mate, congratulations. Be happy. However, if you are alone today and it doesn’t matter If you are recently separated, or if you have been unattached for a long time. You might want to ask yourself why you are alone. I see many people at my practice who really don’t like themselves. When they look in the mirror of a morning in some cases, they really do not like the person looking back at them.
If you feel like this, if you don’t like yourself, then how can you expect others to like or more importantly, love you. You must love yourself first, before others will love you. Self-love is not conceited, it’s important. If you don’t like yourself, if you don’t love yourself others around you will feel that negativity. Our Moods are infectious, our body language and our actions, express so much of how we are feeling.
If you have gone out reluctantly with friends, and you just stand there and moan or you don’t join in conversations your mood will soon spread amongst your friends. If you are all doom and gloom, your friends will soon stop asking you to join them on nights out. Look at the bigger picture. If you was to walk into a pub, And there were some friends to the right looking unhappy and all moaning about the weather order price of bread, And there is another group of friends to the left all smiling and laughing and joking. What group would you join? Of course, you would join the happy cheerful group. You don’t want a night out and feel miserable and down. So, you see how you feel about yourself is important, not only to yourself but also to those around you, positivity attracts positivity and negativity attacks negativity. So, unless you want to drown in negativity start to change how you feel about yourself.
Before you can receive love and respect from others, you need to love and respect yourself. Some people equate self-love with selfishness. But that isn’t true , when you think this way it becomes hard to take care of yourself, so delete that limiting belief from your mind and create a new belief that says to yourself it’s OK to put my needs first. The good news is, when you love yourself fully you become a better version of yourself. Love attracts love so you are drawn to give to others, and you will have the energy to give and in turn receive the love that you want.
Self-love is important for numerous reasons. It has a profound impact on how we see ourselves and how we treat ourselves. Everyone needs self-love. While it’s great to be on the receiving end of love from others it’s also important to practice self-love daily. Self-love motivates you to make healthy choices in life. When you believe in yourself when you hold yourself in high esteem you are more likely to choose things that nurture you and your wellbeing. By that I mean healthy eating exercising or having a healthy relationship. By doing these things you expressed love for yourself and you showing life as being the best version of you.
Self-love is important also when it comes to setting boundaries in relationship. Having a clear understanding of what your boundaries are and being able to set them communicates that you value yourself. As a result, you’re more likely to have a more loving relationship. Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for the relationship you have with others. When you treat yourself with love and respect you give others permission to do the same.
Without self-love, you drastically decrease your ability to be successful at anything. I have seen first-hand a lack of self-love end someone’s career and any chances for success. How many highly successful people do you think look in the mirror every day and say, ‘I hate myself’. Without self-love you drastically decrease your ability to be successful at anything. Failed businesses, relationships, friendships, all for the lack of self-love. When you have self-love, you understand who you are at the very core of your being, and you accept who you are with all the flaws. Self-acceptance has, over and over again, been shown to be a key indicator of success. Self-love is the next step after self-acceptance imagine how vital it is for the success of true happiness or any aspect of your life. The process of achieving self-love may look different for each person but there are some key steps that everyone needs to take.
Figure out what you’re good at and what you’re not. Don’t kill yourself trying to get rid of weaknesses understand that no one is good at everything and work on improving your strengths.
Eliminate toxic relationships. The road to loving yourself is going to be extremely bumpy if you are trying to get there with a toxic person in your life.
Get rid of that sinking thinking. Find ways that work for you to challenge your inner critic and eliminate negative self-talk
Move forward with authenticity. If you are a place in life where you have to hide parts of yourself to get along, make the necessary changes so that you can be your true authentic self everywhere you go. If you can’t do that at work, find a new job. It takes way too much energy to wear a mask every day.
Treat yourself well. Take time to appreciate yourself. Congratulate yourself on a job well done. Have a great meal, go do something fun. Once you find your sense of self and become more self-aware and developed through self-love, opportunities will present themselves.
The only thing standing between you and your success and happiness is yourself. Go get some self-love you deserve it.
I think self-love is critical. I believe it is hard to love others well when you do not take the time to understand who you are and embrace your story. So many relationships are unhealthy and unbalanced because individuals are seeking others to make them complete.
No one is responsible for their own happiness but themselves. Too often we put others needs before our own. You can still please others but make time for yourself and it is by practicing self-love that you can find that healthy balance. So, do it now do it before it’s too late love and accept yourself and then allow others to love and accept you. I wish you every success
until next week. Have a great week and take care.
Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.
Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.