Be Kind. Don’t judge.

Brining out the best in you.

Hi. I hope this finds you all well. As we are still in lockdown and rightly so, I wanted to blog about some of my findings and last night I saw a post on Facebook and it really hit home with me. It said.


As I said this really hit home with me. I am on the vulnerable list, so I have to really take care, but I also need to stay active, so I go for a walk each day. Now on these walks I often meet other people doing just the same as me. In the beginning we all just walked with heads down and perhaps music in our ears. But as time as gone on, I have noticed that nearly everyone is now exchanging greetings, or just waving. I am noticing more families are playing together on the field. And it is because of one those family’s that I am blogging this week.

We met Mr Angry

On Tuesday, I think it was, who knows all the days are blending into one. There was a man who walks his dog every day, shouting at the father of the young family. Now this same man who I saw most day’s never waves, never says hello, what he does do is wave a long stick (which I would imagine is two meters long) viciously if you come into his space. He was shouting aggressively and using inappropriate language in front of children. In no uncertain terms, he was telling them to go home, and it was because of people like them that this virus is not going away. He went on and on and the young children became scared and upset.
Now I am not a big guy but I had to intervene. The dog walker would not calm down and became more agitated. So, I suggested to the family that we move away from him just to the next field. Which they happily did. They are a lovely family and the children once they had calmed down were very polite and quite obviously loving the time with Mum and Dad.
I sat with them for a while. Obeying social distancing of course, and the Dad told me they live in a very small flat and don’t have a garden so for them these fields are their only escape. Mr dog walker had judged. And made the decision that this family just wanted to float the rules. Whereas in fact this family just wanted to safely exercise their children, allow them to get some fresh air and spend quality time as a family. Mr dog walker could not have been more wrong.

So, my message this week is be kind, do not judge.

We are all facing our own battles. We never really know what is going on inside someone’s head or their circumstances.
When I worked in a primary school one thing, I always said to the children was “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say it”.

If you have nothing nice to say. Don’t say anything.

I hope this gets back to Mr dog walker. Because he does need to become a better person.

So how can we use this time to become a better person? I would recommend that you take a close look at the larger scheme of things in your life, by spending some time and effort to design your life blueprint.
Here is a simple template:
First and foremost, know exactly what you want, in terms of compelling, inspiring and overarching long-range goals and objectives:

  • a) what do I want to be?
  • b) what do I want to do?
  • c) what do I want to have?
  • d) what do I want to improve?
  • e) what do I want to change?
  • in tandem with the following major life dimensions in your life:
  • academic pursuit.
  • mental development.
  • career aspirations.
  • physical health.
  • financial wealth.
  • family relationships.
  • social networking.
  • recreational ventures (including hobbies, interests, sports, vacations, etc.);
  • Now. Translate all your long-range goals and objectives in into specific, prioritised and executable tasks that you need to accomplish daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly and even annually.
Pull back the covers.

With the end in mind as formulated, work out your start point, endpoint and the developmental path of transition points in between.
Pinpoint specific tasks that you need to accomplish at each transition point till the endpoint.
Establish metrics to measure your progress, or milestone accomplishments.
Assign and allocate personal accountability, as some tasks may need to be shared, e.g. with team members, if any.
Identify and marshal resources that are required to get all the work done.
Schedule a timetable for completion of each predefined task.
Highlight potential problems or challenges that may crop up along the road of Life, as you travel on it.
Brainstorm a slew of possible strategies to deal with. This is your contingency plan.

Institute some form of system, like a visual Chart, to track, control and monitor your forward trajectory, as laid out in your systematic game plan, in conjunction with all the critical elements.
Follow-up massively and follow-through consistently your systematic game plan.
Stay focused on your strategic objectives but remain flexible in your tactical execution.
YOU identify what the best of you is. How? You have to THINK. You have to think REALLY HARD.

You have to IMAGINE yourself not as you are today but as who you want to be. Imagine that in 15 years you become EVERYTHING you want to be. You have the ideal character (you define it), the ideal body (you define it), the ideal relationships (you define it), the ideal finances (you define it), the ideal career (you define it), the ideal way to give back (you define it).

Write all of this down. Then, ask yourself one question. What can you do today to help yourself become this person in 15 years? Make a list of things you can do today. Actions you take. Feeling you can generate inside yourself. Connections you need to make. Things you need to research. Then, act on it.

Keep a diary and keep reading your essay on who you want to be in 15 years. That is the way to keep yourself focused towards your goal and unfazed by the detractors.
Use this time wisely and let’s all come out better people.
Until next week.

Stay safe. Stay healthy. And remember. Be kind, don’t judge.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

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