Do you send off good signals?

Hi.

Welcome to this weeks blog. This week I want to ask if you think you send off good signals. You see the way we think and the way we act really does affect others. How many times have you been in a bad mood and very quickly the people around you bring their moods down to match yours. It’s a bit like that rotten fruit in fruit bowl. It slowly starts to go mouldy and suddenly the other fruits that it has contact with start going mouldy too. It’s so easily done.

However, if you flip that mood and instead of being grumpy, or angry, you walk in smiling and joyous. you watch how quick others start to smile back. Our moods are infectious.

Most people recognize that they can learn a lot about a person by paying close attention to the person’s emotional reactions. Facial expressions, gestures, voice tone, rate of speech—all of these cues help us figure out how a person is feeling. Is he or she angry? Sad? Nervous? Afraid?

Yet, while we’re busy focusing on the emotional states of others, we usually don’t pay much attention to something equally, if not more important—our own emotional reactions to these social encounters.

Is this you?

The Impact of Negative Emotions


Think about how your own mood can be impacted by a salesperson who smiles, is helpful and kind versus one who is rude and unhelpful. In one case, the sales assistants happiness creates a positive connection between you, while the other experience may leave you feeling frustrated or even angry. In both cases, a complete stranger’s attitudes influenced your own and you may in turn, pass that attitude along to others – either through your good mood or your irritation.


In the case of negative emotions, you can actually have a greater impact than positive ones. When comparing the effects of a positive relationship to a negative one, the energising connection (or negative) has an impact that is four to seven times greater than a positive or energizing relationship. One place where this is easily seen is in the workplace.

Research has shown that a ‘toxic’ co-worker – someone who is always negative, gossips about others or has a poor attitude – can actually be damaging to a workplace, The negativity may lead to an environment where there is less information sharing, more conflict among team members, less trust and a lower performance by all members overall.


Dealing with a negative co-worker can leave others feeling emotionally tired, unhappy and dissatisfied, which is why it’s important to address the negativity rather than try to ignore it. The same is true when dealing with a negative friend or family member. In both cases, it may not be possible to stop all interactions, but it’s important to have a strategy for when you do need to interact. It starts by creating physical and emotional distance from the individuals. Consider the ways you can minimize interactions with the person and set boundaries.


Managers may consider reassigning projects to limit the interactions the individual has with the overall team. Co-workers can consider not engaging the individual beyond the minimum necessary. And if it is a friend or family member, limit conversations to those topics you known won’t trigger the negativity.

It can be challenging, but don’t let yourself get sucked into the negativity by joining in with it, such as complaining, gossiping or even by dwelling on the person’s behavior. It will only bring you down. Remember that the other person’s behavior has very little to do with you – they are dealing with their own issues.

If you see someone without a smile. Give them yours.

Tips for Staying Positive


While it may seem like we’re at the mercy of others’ attitudes, we do have some control – we can choose how we respond. Here are some tips to help you.


Share Your Feelings


When something gets under our skin, we can spend a lot of mental energy thinking about it. Instead, I suggest you find someone you trust and share your thoughts and feelings. It can take the sting out of the hurt and help you get moving in a positive direction again.


Talk to Yourself


Think about what words you can tell yourself to help gain some perspective on the situation or that can help calm you down when a “hot button” issue gets brought up. A simple phrase to remind yourself like “let it go” or “Calm & Relaxed” can help refocus your thoughts.


Surround Yourself with Positivity


Your time is a valuable and limited resource. Just like any investment, choose wisely how you are going to spend it. Limit the time you spend with negative people and situations and instead, focus on the positive. It may mean you limit the amount of time you spend with someone, which can be particularly difficult when it is a loved one. But negative emotions – like positive ones – can impact your overall health and sense of well-being. While it may feel selfish on some level, you are taking the steps you need to care for your own health.


Get Some Sleep


poor sleep and a couple’s ability to resolve conflict in their relationship. Essentially, couples who experienced poor sleep experienced more conflict in their relationships,were less empathetic toward the other person when trying to resolve the issue and less likely to achieve resolution. When you’re tired, you don’t have the mental energy needed to redirect negative emotions and can more easily be overwhelmed by them. So get the sleep you need so you have the energy to deal with any issues.


Nurture the Positive


There are many ways to help nurture the positive –keep a diary, get out in nature, find the awe in every day and practice happiness.


We have greater control over our emotions than we often realise, And taking care of our emotions is really about taking care of our overall health.

Until Next week.

Take care and stay safe.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

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