They didn’t teach us this!

So I trained to become a hypnotherapist. I worked really hard, I learnt loads. The history and thinking behind my new skill. Lots of different techniques and I worked with case studies to perfect my art. I qualified, my door was open now bring on the clients. Hello I said bring on the clients.

Oh hang on, we have to find our own clients. They didn’t tell us that bit. How many therapists feel like this? Not just therapists, but anyone that offers a service and aim to get business across social media.

Now, I am one of the lucky ones because having an IT background I understand about algorithms and how they work ( well a lot of the time I do). However so many therapists don’t have an IT knowledge. Where does that leave them?

We ask friends and family to like and share our page, which they do, but is there really any prospect of them becoming a paying client? The answer is no not really. They are showing their support but that isn’t going to pay the bills. So now what? Well you have to start posting regularly on your chosen platforms, but what do you post? how do you get likes? Will they share my post? Do I need to pay for likes? HELP!

I need help.

Help is around, but what I have found that there are a lot of marketeers trying to sell you the same package that they sell to a plumber, a car salesman, a painter and decorator. what do they really know about the therapy business? As therapists we face problems over and above other services.

  • People are scared to like posts as it shows their name and their friends may notice.
  • Therapy of any sort still has a stigma attached to it so people don’t tend to share.
  • What we do is all a bit Woo Woo. According to some. We know it isn’t, we know it works. but how do we prove that if we can’t attract clients?
  • The chances of your post getting in front of a client at exactly the right moment is very very slim.
  • People don’t like admitting they have a problem so are reluctant to ask for help.
  • The list goes on.

So what can we do. Ahh. Well that’s where I can help. You see I’ve only been full time just over 3 years now but in that time I have been lucky enough to stay busy and have a constant flow of clients. I have been able to do this as I understand how to get the best out of Facebook, Instagram and social media in general, and the best thing is that I did it on a zero budget.

So what I have done is compiled a 50+ page manual aimed at therapists, but will help anyone that offers a service to raise their awareness on social media, and in doing so will get your name out there and keep it out there until your client is ready, and when they are ready they contact you and become a new paying client.

Perhaps you may find that missing piece.

I will be selling this manual for just £49.00 but it is filled with tips and advice on how to post, what to post, when to post and about creating an identity on social media. I let you know the costly mistakes that I made, so that you don’t make them and I also point you in the direction of some excellent free software or apps that are my go to when posting.

What Can Social Media Do For You?

A helpful manual for therapists and small business to create a better presences on social media. SEPTEMBER SPECIAL OFFER JUST £49.00

£49.00

You do not need a PayPal account to pay via Paypal.

I’m not going to promise you a major influx of clients or that you will be earning £50k plus by Christmas but as long as you make some of the suggested tweaks, and make it your own, you will see a rise in your social media presence.

If you are reading this and want to know more please feel free to email me at jadkin.bahyp@gmail.com or see my Facebook page I’m doing this to help and support therapists and small businesses that have just survived a very tough time. As I say I’m not a marketeer, I’m just someone who understands what you are going through.

I want to turn on that light at the end of the tunnel for you.

Until next week, or possibly the week after 🙂

Have a great week or two.

Take care and stay safe.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Are you happy?

If I asked if you were happy, what would you say? How would you answer? No one likes admitting they are not happy. People associate a lot of feelings and sensations with happiness. Excitement, thrill, joy, ecstasy, exhilaration, victory, inner peace, or satisfaction to name a few…

What words describe happiness for you?

What does it feel like in your body when you’re happy? Is it possible to be a happy person even when you don’t feel good? Maybe your back’s been bothering you, or you had an argument with someone? Do you have to have a sense of elation, excitement, or euphoria to be happy? Can you keep up these intense emotions non stop?

Can you separate the state of inner happiness from other sensations like sadness, frustration, or tiredness? I ask these questions, not to get right or wrong answers, but to get you thinking about what happiness means to you.

Happiness is a word we hear comonly, but unless we spend a little time contemplating what it means to us, we sort of bob along like a cork on the ocean. With awareness, though, we can make course corrections and have more control over our direction.

A happy person is someone who often experiences positive emotions, such as joy, interest, and pride. They experience negative emotions too, but less frequently. This isn’t to say happy people are free from negative or painful emotions. They still experience negative emotions, but they have a different relationship to them.

Are you happy? or do you fake it?

Think about these two key points:

Happier people spend more time in positive emotions and less time in negative emotions than unhappy people. Shift your balance toward happiness by managing your state. You’re in charge of your emotions. Your emotions aren’t in charge of you. As much as possible, spend time preparing how you’re going to react to what your day might bring you.

When negative emotions hit, how long are you going to let them stay?

Stuffing down negative emotions or refusing to accept their presence isn’t any more helpful than getting stuck in them, so how do you want to interact with them? Happier people don’t let their negative emotions define them. The human experience involves feeling a range of multiple emotions. But emotions come and go, and an emotional state isn’t the same as who we you are as a being.

You feel hurt, but you’re not a hurt person. You feel angry, but you’re not an angry person. You feel depressed, but you’re not a depressed person. At least not at your core. You may have adopted a label of a hurt, angry, or depressed person, but that’s not how you were created.

Those are labels you’ve been carrying around. You may have attached the labels so early, that you’re certain it’s “who you are”, but consider the possibility that you’re none of those things. This piece talks about peeling off those old labels: What You’re Telling Yourself About Your Life is Wrong. Peel off the Label and See it Differently

It’s ok to experience more than one state at a time. Don’t you feel both scared and excited before you get on a roller coaster? Can’t you feel both elated and exhausted after a major accomplishment? Happy people know, even if they’re feeling some sadness or anger or other emotion at the moment, they’re still an underlying happy person.

I can finally say I am a happy person. I’m a happy person because that’s who I am at the core of my being. Some days are more fun than others. Some days my body doesn’t feel its best. But those are ripples on the surface. At the deepest part lies happiness. I’m not depending on have feelings of euphoria. Happiness for me is peaceful sense of satisfaction and gratitude. Happiness is a skill. There’s a formula for it. That formula comes more easily to some than to others, but there’s no doubt that you can master the skills for happiness too.

Have You Trained Yourself to be Unhappy?
Your habits are determining if you have a happy and satisfying life or not. The great news is you choose and form your own outcome.

You make your own future.

Here are some rules of happiness.

Rule 1 – Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself!
Self-pity is the very worst kind of emotion. It destroys
everything around itself, and leaves you feeling powerless.
Stop being the victim, stop feeling sorry for yourself – and be
happy.
Rule 2 – Be Grateful
The world is so fast-paced that we’re rarely grateful of its gifts.
Think of all the things you’re grateful for right now: family,
health, home, everything. Spend time being grateful each day
– and be happy.
Rule 3 – Say Yes More
We each say “No!” way too often. Try saying “Yes!” more to
all of life’s experiences. Don’t fight the river’s current. Say
“Yes!” more to emotions, situations, social invitations – and be
happy.

Rule 4 – Follow Your Bliss
In life, we often find ourselves half-way up a ladder we don’t
want to climb, rather than at the bottom of one we do. What
do you really want to be? Follow your own bliss – and be
happy.
Rule 5 – Learn to Let Go
Emotions often hold us back from true happiness and
freedom. Remember, you are not your emotions. Let go of
unwanted emotions by asking yourself “Can I let this go?” Do
it – and be happy.
Rule 6 – Do Random Acts of Kindness
Being kind is double-edged. It makes you feel happier, and
spreads that joy to someone else too. Do more Random Acts
of Kindness every day – smile, hold open a door, pay for a
coffee – and be happy.
Rule 7 – Happiness Is Only Ever Now
Most of us spend our time anywhere but in the present. We
obsess about the past, or plan for the future. Now is the only
time that really exists. Make the decision to be happy – now.
Rule 8 – Experience, Don’t Hoard!
Research shows that material purchases only boost your
happiness levels temporarily. Experiences bring more overall
joy. Enjoy safari holidays, learn a language, join a dancing
group – and be happy.

Rule 9 – Appreciate Both Sides of the Coin
How many times do we try to embrace happiness – and reject
sadness? They’re both sides of the same coin. You cannot have
one without the other. Sadness is critical. Don’t fight it – and
be happy.
Rule 10 – Be More Social
Extensive research shows that the happiest and most
successful people are those with large social networks. How
many friends do you have? Be proactive, start making more –
and become happier.
Rule 11 – Love More!
The more you love, the happier you are. Try giving everyone
and everything around you a little more love. Friends, family,
nature, even enemies: open your heart, give them love – and
be happy.
Rule 12 – Have a Dream
Dreams are the spark plugs of the spirit. They give each day
excitement and enable you to move forward. What are your
dreams? Think about it, write them down. Then do them –
and be happy.
Rule 13 – Intention Sets Direction
The outcome you expect is usually the one you receive. If you
don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.
So, set a great intention in everything you do – and be happy.

Rule 14 – Enjoy Simple Pleasures
Real happiness can be found in simple pleasures and rituals.
From a daily walk in nearby countryside to a glass of wine
after work. Indulge in these, setup your own little rituals – and
be happy.
Rule 15 – Accept What Is
Many of us spend time resisting what is. We fight against our
own emotions, building up anger and resentment. Accept
what is right now. Change it if you can. But accept it first – and
be happy.
Rule 16 – Exercise and Eat Well
You are as happy as your lifestyle! For optimum happiness,
try walking for 40 minutes a day. Take Omega 3 supplements,
and eat more fish, nuts, turkey, cottage cheese. Enjoy – and be
happy.
Rule 17 – Zoom Out and Don’t Sweat
We often get a fresh perspective on life after we lose a family
member, or survive an illness. Don’t wait for life to remind
you. Zoom out and remember your real priorities now – and
be happy.
Rule 18 – Laugh, Dance, Smile!
Take time to laugh at the craziness of life! Splash out and enjoy
to the max. Surround yourself with happiness – wonderful
music, dance classes, evenings with friends. Smile – and be
happy!

That’s 18 rules of happiness. I want you to send me two more so that you have 20 rules. What works for you? I would love to hear.

Until next week.

Stay happy and smile more.

Take care and stay safe.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Time for a bit more positive thinking.

In this time of such uncertainty, I feel a bit of positive thinking is needed, don’t you? So what is positive thinking really? Positive thinking is the idea that you can change your life by thinking positively about things. This idea can sound a bit soft and fluffy, which is something of a problem for many people who recognise that just thinking good thoughts won’t change the world and therefore discard the whole idea.

However, research shows that positive thinking really does have a scientific basis. You can’t change the world, but you can change how you perceive it and how you react to it. And that can change the way that you feel about yourself and others, which can in turn have a huge effect on your well-being.

Quick Tips to Enable Positive Thinking

Gain Control of Yourself: Do not be critical of yourself to others. Whilst it can be useful to confide your concerns to someone you trust, telling the world is something else. Be kind to yourself. Make a list of your good qualities and believe them, believe in yourself.

Don’t Be A Complainer: By being negative you can isolate yourself from others and cut yourself off from positive solutions to problems.

Learn to Relax: Allow time for yourself each day, if only for a few minutes it is important to find time to relax and unwind.

Boost Your Own Morale: Treat yourself every now and again. Especially if you have overcome a problem or made a personal achievement.

Congratulate Yourself on a job/task well done and perhaps tell a friend. Justified praise is a good boost to morale.

Learn to Channel Nerves and Tension Positively: when you are nervous, adrenalin is pumped through the body and you feel more keyed up and alert. This extra energy can be used to good effect; enabling you to communicate with greater enthusiasm and intensity, for example.

Learn to be Assertive: Stand up for what you believe in and do not be pressured by others. See our section on Assertiveness for more.

WARNING! Don’t force it

Positive thinking is good. But you should not try to use it to block out everything negative that happens in your life. Sometimes bad stuff happens, and you will feel down about it. It’s no good pretending that you don’t because forced positive thinking can be counterproductive.

What you need to avoid is the ‘developing disaster’ scenario (the ‘my life is a total disaster’ tape that plays in your head). The best way to do that is NOT to tell yourself that your life is perfect. Instead, you need to recognise what has gone wrong but set it in context. For example: “Yes, I’m having a bad day, but tomorrow will be better. I will go home now and I will be able to think of a solution to the problem in the morning when I am less tired.”

Developing Habits of Positive Thinking

If you think about positive thinking as ‘being happy’, it is much easier to work out what you should do to develop habits based on it. For example, what do you like doing? And with whom do you like spending time?

Meditation
People who meditate every day show more positive thinking than those who do not. Is that the meditation causing the positive thinking, or just having time to think? It’s hard to tell, but it’s also hard to argue with the science. People who meditate tend to show more mindfulness, or ability to live in the present, which is also associated with positive thinking.

Writing
A group of undergraduates were asked to write about an intensely positive experience every day for three days. Amazingly, they had better moods and better physical health afterwards, and the effect lasted for quite a long time. This is a pretty easy thing to do: you could, for example, write a blog focusing on positive experiences, or keep a diary.

Play
It’s important to make time for yourself to have fun. Sometimes you might need to actually put it into your diary to force yourself to make that time, whether it’s to meet a friend for coffee, or go out for a walk or a bike ride.

Ask yourself questions.

The Power of Questions
Our minds actively look for answers to questions. So if you ask yourself ‘Why do I feel so bad?’, your mind will find lots of answers and you will feel worse. With NLP the key is to ask the right questions, for example:

Why do I want to change?
What will life be like when I have changed?
What do I need to do more/less of in order to change?
Questions like these naturally lead to a more positive outlook.

How to think positive thoughts
Positive thinking can be achieved through a few different techniques that have been proven effective, such as positive self-talk and positive imagery.

Here are some tips that to get you started that can help you train your brain how to think positively.

Focus on the good things
Challenging situations and obstacles are a part of life. When you’re faced with one, focus on the good things no matter how small or seemingly insignificant they seem. If you look for it, you can always find the proverbial silver lining in every cloud — even if it’s not immediately obvious. For example, if someone cancels plans, focus on how it frees up time for you to catch up on a TV show or other activity you enjoy.

Practice gratitude
Practicing gratitude has been shown to reduce stress, improve self-esteem, and foster resilience even in very difficult times. Think of people, moments, or things that bring you some kind of comfort or happiness and try to express your gratitude at least once a day. This can be thanking a co-worker for helping with a project, a loved one for washing the dishes, or your dog for the unconditional love they give you.

Keep a gratitude journal
Writing down the things you’re grateful for can improve your optimism and sense of well-being. You can do this by writing in a gratitude journal every day, or jotting down a list of things you’re grateful for on days you’re having a hard time.

Open yourself up to humor
Studies have found that laughter lowers stress, anxiety, and depression. It also improves coping skills, mood, and self-esteem. buy my book 100 days in isolation

Be open to humor in all situations, especially the difficult ones, and give yourself permission to laugh. It instantly lightens the mood and makes things seem a little less difficult. Even if you’re not feeling it; pretending or forcing yourself to laugh can improve your mood and lower stress.

Spend time with positive people
Negativity and positivity have been shown to be contagious. Consider the people with whom you’re spending time. Have you noticed how someone in a bad mood can bring down almost everyone in a room? A positive person has the opposite effect on others.

Being around positive people has been shown to improve self-esteem and increase your chances of reaching goals. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up and help you see the bright side.

Practice positive self-talk
We tend to be the hardest on ourselves and be our own worst critic. Over time, this can cause you to form a negative opinion of yourself that can be hard to shake. To stop this, you’ll need to be mindful of the voice in your head and respond with positive messages, also known as positive self-talk. Research shows that even a small shift in the way you talk to yourself can influence your ability to regulate your feelings, thoughts, and behavior under stress.

Here’s an example of positive self-talk: Instead of thinking “I really messed that up,” try “I’ll try it again a different way.”

Identify your areas of negativity
Take a good look at the different areas of your life and identify the ones in which you tend to be the most negative. Not sure? Ask a trusted friend or colleague. Chances are, they’ll be able to offer some insight. A co-worker might notice that you tend to be negative at work. Your spouse may notice that you get especially negative while driving. Tackle one area at a time.

Start every day on a positive note
Create a ritual in which you start off each day with something uplifting and positive. Here are a few ideas:

Tell yourself that it’s going to be a great day or any other positive affirmation.
Listen to a happy and positive song or playlist.
Share some positivity by giving a compliment or doing something nice for someone.

Say goodbye to negative thinking

The Effect of Negative Thinking
To understand the effect of positive thinking, it’s helpful to think about negative thinking first. Most negative emotions, such as fear or anger, are designed to help with survival. They cause us to take swift and effective action to save ourselves from whatever is threatening us. This means that they also prevent us from being distracted by other things around us. So far, so good, in survival terms. If there’s a bear standing in front of you, you don’t want to stop to pick flowers.

But negative thinking is not so great in more modern settings. If you’ve got a lot to do, and you’re worried that you won’t get it all done, the last thing you need is for your brain to shut down and focus only on how long your ‘To Do’ list has got. Negative thinking is a habit, something you can train your brain to avoid. Constant negative thinking can make you much more likely to be stressed and can lead to more serious problems, like depression.

Until Next week.

Take care and stay safe.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Do you listen to yourself?

Hi, Welcome to this weeks blog.

Let me ask you a question. Do you talk to yourself? Do you listen to yourself? For instance how many times have you perhaps dropped something and it broke or spilt everywhere, and you called yourself a F#$k!ng idiot. Or you can’t find your keys or phone after searching only to find them in the first place that you looked, so you call yourself stupid. We have all done it.

Well each time we put ourselves down our subconscious is listening and that’s what it thinks you want. so if it hears you calling yourself an idiot it will continue to help you do idiotic things. It has no logic but it has your best intentions at heart.

Lets take an average day. Lets say you get out of bed and you stub your toe on the bed leg or you stand on a charger cable. BANG! straight away you are cursing and your mood changes. So you go downstairs and your snappy with whoever else lives in the house. SO they then become defensive and suddenly everyone is in a bad mood, just because you stubbed your toe.

You are on the way to work, and it doesn’t matter if you are driving or getting a bus or train the same chain reaction has an effect on others. Let’s say you are in the car. Your running a bit late. The first set of lights you come to are RED. GRRRRR. your mood starts to change. It seems to take for ever to change, but eventually you move on only to be cut up my a cyclist. Your mood worsens. You start cursing them. They can’t hear you so they are unaffected. The only person it’s affecting is you. and so the day turn down begins.

You eventually arrive at work. because of all the red lights your parking space is taken. Actually it isn’t your parking space. you have just got into a habit of parking in the same place each day. However today you can’t, and that annoys you.

So when you actually get into the building you are in a foul mood. but hang on. Who are you angry at? Are you seeing the pattern of behaviour here. Can you see yourself in any of what Iv’e just described.

So because you’ve arrived in a bad mood all your colleagues are avoiding you, so you start over thinking the situation. You think they must dislike you, or they know something that perhaps you don’t. Suddenly your mood becomes even worse as you have now convinced yourself that everyone dislikes you and they are holding something back, which you need to know. You react, they react now the whole place is in a bad mood. Work is affected, sales are affected, friendships are affected.

All because you stubbed you toe this morning…

Let’s change the day

Life is like a mirror. it reflects our thoughts, our ways, our responses. Everyone in that work place was reflecting just one persons mood, their anger, their behaviour.

It all starts with you..

It doesn’t have to be like that. You have to learn how to flip those thoughts and react positively.

Let’s do that day again but with a positive slant.

Lets take an average day. You start the morning with a positive message on your smart speaker or phone. BANG! straight away you are smiling. So you go downstairs and you are happy and positive with whoever else lives in the house. SO they then become so much happier, and suddenly everyone is in a good mood, just because you listened to a positive sound file.

You are on the way to work, and it doesn’t matter if you are driving or getting a bus or train the same chain reaction has an effect on others. Let’s say you are in the car. Your running a bit late. The first set of lights you come to are RED. No problem, you put a motivational sound file on the car radio. your mood starts to change, you are suddenly feeling motivated. Eventually you move on only to be cut up my a cyclist. You admire his bike, no anger felt. You think to yourself that perhaps you could get a bike, it may be quicker and certainly healthier. You will good and positive. and so a good day begins.

You eventually arrive at work. because of all the red lights your parking space is taken. Actually it isn’t your parking space. you have just got into a habit of parking in the same place each day. However today you can’t, No worries. I can park around the corner. I could do with the extra exercise.

So when you actually get into the building you are in a great mood. Are you seeing the pattern of behaviour here. Can you see yourself in any of what Iv’e just described.

So because you’ve arrived in a great mood all your colleagues are looking up and smiling, The mood in the work place is straight away lifted. That day your company recorded its most productive day ever.

All because you started your day with a positive.

A solution

So why have I played out this scenario? well I have to be honest I have been working on something to help you through these strange times, where Covid seems to be affecting people in many different ways.

I’ve called it Update & Reboot, and what it is is a library of Non Hypnotic sound files that can help you feel better about yourself. Using a combination of NLP and the Law of Attraction. I’ve recorded a series of sound files covering many issues such as confidence, self-worth, sleep, finances, relationships and so many more. Visit www.jonadkin.uk for more information.

This library is going to be added to on a continuous basis and once you subscribe, with just a single payment of £49.99 you will have lifetime access to all the sound files.

These recordings are non hypnotic so don’t have to be listened to through headphones, so you can listen to them whilst getting ready in the morning, or whilst driving, or on the bus to work. They are accessible at any time. You work them into your schedule to suit you best.

I have been using these sound files since I started my business and I am sure that is why I have the attitude that I now have and have not panicked over the lockdown period. My mind was in a better place. Let’s help yours get to where you want it to be.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Do you send off good signals?

Hi.

Welcome to this weeks blog. This week I want to ask if you think you send off good signals. You see the way we think and the way we act really does affect others. How many times have you been in a bad mood and very quickly the people around you bring their moods down to match yours. It’s a bit like that rotten fruit in fruit bowl. It slowly starts to go mouldy and suddenly the other fruits that it has contact with start going mouldy too. It’s so easily done.

However, if you flip that mood and instead of being grumpy, or angry, you walk in smiling and joyous. you watch how quick others start to smile back. Our moods are infectious.

Most people recognize that they can learn a lot about a person by paying close attention to the person’s emotional reactions. Facial expressions, gestures, voice tone, rate of speech—all of these cues help us figure out how a person is feeling. Is he or she angry? Sad? Nervous? Afraid?

Yet, while we’re busy focusing on the emotional states of others, we usually don’t pay much attention to something equally, if not more important—our own emotional reactions to these social encounters.

Is this you?

The Impact of Negative Emotions


Think about how your own mood can be impacted by a salesperson who smiles, is helpful and kind versus one who is rude and unhelpful. In one case, the sales assistants happiness creates a positive connection between you, while the other experience may leave you feeling frustrated or even angry. In both cases, a complete stranger’s attitudes influenced your own and you may in turn, pass that attitude along to others – either through your good mood or your irritation.


In the case of negative emotions, you can actually have a greater impact than positive ones. When comparing the effects of a positive relationship to a negative one, the energising connection (or negative) has an impact that is four to seven times greater than a positive or energizing relationship. One place where this is easily seen is in the workplace.

Research has shown that a ‘toxic’ co-worker – someone who is always negative, gossips about others or has a poor attitude – can actually be damaging to a workplace, The negativity may lead to an environment where there is less information sharing, more conflict among team members, less trust and a lower performance by all members overall.


Dealing with a negative co-worker can leave others feeling emotionally tired, unhappy and dissatisfied, which is why it’s important to address the negativity rather than try to ignore it. The same is true when dealing with a negative friend or family member. In both cases, it may not be possible to stop all interactions, but it’s important to have a strategy for when you do need to interact. It starts by creating physical and emotional distance from the individuals. Consider the ways you can minimize interactions with the person and set boundaries.


Managers may consider reassigning projects to limit the interactions the individual has with the overall team. Co-workers can consider not engaging the individual beyond the minimum necessary. And if it is a friend or family member, limit conversations to those topics you known won’t trigger the negativity.

It can be challenging, but don’t let yourself get sucked into the negativity by joining in with it, such as complaining, gossiping or even by dwelling on the person’s behavior. It will only bring you down. Remember that the other person’s behavior has very little to do with you – they are dealing with their own issues.

If you see someone without a smile. Give them yours.

Tips for Staying Positive


While it may seem like we’re at the mercy of others’ attitudes, we do have some control – we can choose how we respond. Here are some tips to help you.


Share Your Feelings


When something gets under our skin, we can spend a lot of mental energy thinking about it. Instead, I suggest you find someone you trust and share your thoughts and feelings. It can take the sting out of the hurt and help you get moving in a positive direction again.


Talk to Yourself


Think about what words you can tell yourself to help gain some perspective on the situation or that can help calm you down when a “hot button” issue gets brought up. A simple phrase to remind yourself like “let it go” or “Calm & Relaxed” can help refocus your thoughts.


Surround Yourself with Positivity


Your time is a valuable and limited resource. Just like any investment, choose wisely how you are going to spend it. Limit the time you spend with negative people and situations and instead, focus on the positive. It may mean you limit the amount of time you spend with someone, which can be particularly difficult when it is a loved one. But negative emotions – like positive ones – can impact your overall health and sense of well-being. While it may feel selfish on some level, you are taking the steps you need to care for your own health.


Get Some Sleep


poor sleep and a couple’s ability to resolve conflict in their relationship. Essentially, couples who experienced poor sleep experienced more conflict in their relationships,were less empathetic toward the other person when trying to resolve the issue and less likely to achieve resolution. When you’re tired, you don’t have the mental energy needed to redirect negative emotions and can more easily be overwhelmed by them. So get the sleep you need so you have the energy to deal with any issues.


Nurture the Positive


There are many ways to help nurture the positive –keep a diary, get out in nature, find the awe in every day and practice happiness.


We have greater control over our emotions than we often realise, And taking care of our emotions is really about taking care of our overall health.

Until Next week.

Take care and stay safe.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.