Do you need an upgrade?

Hi, welcome back.

This week I want to blog about upgrading and rebooting. How often are we asked to upgrade our Phone, or tablet, and computer. Nowadays we live in a world that we have to constantly update the intelligent things around us. However the one thing that we do not upgrade is ourselves.

Think about it, when our computers upgrade the software, the first thing they ask us is do we want to delete orphaned or unused files. We are asked, do we want to remove unused programs, would we like to store duplicate files.

Now of course, we tend to do what the computer asks us, as we feel sure that it knows best. What happens when you don’t update or reboot your computer? Well, the first thing you will notice is that it starts to slow down, it takes ages for it too start up properly, it seems to take an age to search for either a piece of software that you know he’s on the computer, or perhaps a file or picture, that you know is there but it is taking a long time to find it. Another thing you may notice is that when you have a few programs open, the computer really struggles completing the jobs that you asking it to do.

How about our phones and tablets. So often now we get told there is a new update, and what do we do, we updated it. Not even questioning why we need to update it. The Phone or tablet was working fine, you didn’t see any need for updating, but the makers of the Phone or tablet Want you to update so that their product is working at the best for you.

So why am I talking about updating a Phone or a computer? I’m talking about this because we don’t update or reboot the most important thing to us. Our mind.

Let’s reboot.

Think about what I’ve just said above, if you are 18, 32, 47 or 55 that is how old your software is, don’t get me wrong it’s a brilliant piece of software. It knows everything that you have ever seen smelt or touched. It keeps a record of every person you have ever met, every place you have ever been, Every word you’ve ever heard. However it also keeps record of every mistake you’ve ever made, every put down you have ever heard, every injustice you have had to suffer.    

Now, contrary to belief no one is perfect. We all make mistakes and the best we can do is learn from them and move on from them, but the put downs any injustices tend to stay with us and in the worst case scenario we start to believe them. So with all that going on in our head it’s no wonder that just like our computers we start to slow down, we find it harder to multifunction, we can’t recall someone’s name perhaps as quick as we used to be able to. So like our electronic gadgets we need to update and reboot.

Just like a software update, we need to delete some old files, we need to File away those old injustices, put downs, guilts, hurts and anything else that you no longer need. We can do this, we can’t erase the past not that we would want to, but we can change our thinking, we can change the way we allow a past memory to affect us.  

When we born we didn’t have fears or anxieties, we didn’t have the weight of the world on our shoulders. We have learnt those behaviours, and if we have leant them we can unlearn them.

We all have and need a level of stress inside us, that is perfectly normal. However once that level is exceeded, and that happens very quickly, our mind starts to work overtime and never really settles down, which causes us to worry unnecessarily or over think situations that we have no control over.

It’s our thoughts that are letting us down, and we can’t have an emotion without having a thought first, and so the circle begins, and slowly but surely our mind fills up with a load of information that  we no longer need.

So what can we do? Well we can’t change the past we know that. What we can do is learn from the mistakes that were our fault, If the mistakes were not our fault we stop worrying as we have no control over them. If you were put down or made to not feel good enough. STOP! Think about today, the here and now. You’re here, you survived and you’re doing ok. What’s past is past. We can’t change it, so we learn from it and we make the most of what we have.

Coming Soon

Some people need help to move on from the past, that is why from the 1st of March I’m offering a new package. Update & Reboot 2020. An affordable way to rewire your brain. A way you can file away or delete all those unused memories. Clear a load of those learnt behaviours that no longer serve you, such as fears, phobias, hurts, griefs etc etc.

How does it work? I’m a hypnotherapist and by letting your subconscious know that you want to move on, you no longer what to hold on to those feelings, your subconscious will, with your help let those feelings go. Your subconscious knows what you need to let go of to make those changes that you want. So all you have to do is relax and let your body and your mind do the rest.

I’m excited with this new package. I’ve been trialling it now for a while and the results have been fantastic.  So now it’s time to make it available to you. If you are ready for an update and a reboot message me. I would love to help. It launches the 1st March and my website www.jonadkin.com from next week will have all the final details.

I look forward to hearing and hopefully working with you.

Until next week.

Have a great week.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Self-Love it’s not selfish. It’s important.

Hi welcome to my Valentine’s Blog.

My Valentines YouTube message.

If you are with your ideal partner today, or with your soul mate, congratulations. Be happy. However, if you are alone today and it doesn’t matter If you are recently separated, or if you have been unattached for a long time. You might want to ask yourself why you are alone. I see many people at my practice who really don’t like themselves. When they look in the mirror of a morning in some cases, they really do not like the person looking back at them.

If you feel like this, if you don’t like yourself, then how can you expect others to like or more importantly, love you. You must love yourself first, before others will love you. Self-love is not conceited, it’s important. If you don’t like yourself, if you don’t love yourself others around you will feel that negativity.  Our Moods are infectious, our body language and our actions, express so much of how we are feeling.

If you have gone out reluctantly with friends, and you just stand there and moan or you don’t join in conversations your mood will soon spread amongst your friends. If you are all doom and gloom, your friends will soon stop asking you to join them on nights out. Look at the bigger picture. If you was to walk into a pub, And there were some friends to the right looking unhappy and all moaning about the weather order price of bread, And there is another group of friends to the left all smiling and laughing and joking. What group would you join? Of course, you would join the happy cheerful group. You don’t want a night out and feel miserable and down. So, you see how you feel about yourself is important, not only to yourself but also to those around you, positivity attracts positivity and negativity attacks negativity. So, unless you want to drown in negativity start to change how you feel about yourself.

Before you can receive love and respect from others, you need to love and respect yourself. Some people equate self-love with selfishness. But that isn’t true , when you think this way it becomes hard to take care of yourself, so delete that limiting belief from your mind and create a new belief that says to yourself it’s OK to put my needs first. The good news is, when you love yourself fully you become a better version of yourself. Love attracts love so you are drawn to give to others, and you will have the energy to give and in turn receive the love that you want.

Self-love is important for numerous reasons. It has a profound impact on how we see ourselves and how we treat ourselves. Everyone needs self-love. While it’s great to be on the receiving end of love from others it’s also important to practice self-love daily. Self-love motivates you to make healthy choices in life. When you believe in yourself when you hold yourself in high esteem you are more likely to choose things that nurture you and your wellbeing. By that I mean healthy eating exercising or having a healthy relationship. By doing these things you expressed love for yourself and you showing life as being the best version of you.

Self-love is important also when it comes to setting boundaries in relationship. Having a clear understanding of what your boundaries are and being able to set them communicates that you value yourself. As a result, you’re more likely to have a more loving relationship. Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for the relationship you have with others. When you treat yourself with love and respect you give others permission to do the same.

Without self-love, you drastically decrease your ability to be successful at anything. I have seen first-hand a lack of self-love end someone’s career and any chances for success. How many highly successful people do you think look in the mirror every day and say, ‘I hate myself’. Without self-love you drastically decrease your ability to be successful at anything. Failed businesses, relationships, friendships, all for the lack of self-love. When you have self-love, you understand who you are at the very core of your being, and you accept who you are with all the flaws. Self-acceptance has, over and over again, been shown to be a key indicator of success. Self-love is the next step after self-acceptance imagine how vital it is for the success of true happiness or any aspect of your life. The process of achieving self-love may look different for each person but there are some key steps that everyone needs to take.

Figure out what you’re good at and what you’re not. Don’t kill yourself trying to get rid of weaknesses understand that no one is good at everything and work on improving your strengths.

Eliminate toxic relationships. The road to loving yourself is going to be extremely bumpy if you are trying to get there with a toxic person in your life.

Get rid of that sinking thinking. Find ways that work for you to challenge your inner critic and eliminate negative self-talk

Move forward with authenticity. If you are a place in life where you have to hide parts of yourself to get along, make the necessary changes so that you can be your true authentic self everywhere you go. If you can’t do that at work, find a new job. It takes way too much energy to wear a mask every day.

Treat yourself well. Take time to appreciate yourself. Congratulate yourself on a job well done. Have a great meal, go do something fun. Once you find your sense of self and become more self-aware and developed through self-love, opportunities will present themselves.

The only thing standing between you and your success and happiness is yourself. Go get some self-love you deserve it.

I think self-love is critical. I believe it is hard to love others well when you do not take the time to understand who you are and embrace your story. So many relationships are unhealthy and unbalanced because individuals are seeking others to make them complete.

No one is responsible for their own happiness but themselves. Too often we put others needs before our own. You can still please others but make time for yourself and it is by practicing self-love that you can find that healthy balance. So, do it now do it before it’s too late love and accept yourself and then allow others to love and accept you. I wish you every success

until next week. Have a great week and take care.

Best wishes

Jon X

Jon Adkin BAHyp Hypnotherapist.

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You Tube, Facebook and Instagram.

It's not how you change, it's why!

Hi welcome to this week’s blog

recently in my Facebook posts, I have been asking the question it’s not how you change its why you want to change. This question hit home with a lot of my clients, it made people think, it made people question themselves. So, if you thought about it and you needed to change why is it that you need to change?

For me back in my 30s I used hypnotherapy because after suffering a lot of illness I had lost not only my confidence but also my self-worth. I didn’t want to sit down on the sofa all day watching bad television, I wanted to regain that confidence that self-belief that I once had. For me not only did hypnotherapy help me get back my confidence and my self-worth it took me beyond where I  wanted to be. 

So, my why, was realising that I had survived those illnesses and I now wanted to grab life with both hands and enjoy it.

Why do you want to change?

So, ask yourself what is your why for wanting to change your life for the better. Perhaps you have been suffering from anxiety and been living a long time behind a mask. For whatever reason you have now decided to step out from behind that mask, perhaps you will once put down, insulted or made to feel not good enough. However, now you know you are good enough you always were good enough you just didn’t believe it.

There are many reasons why someone wants to change, there are many ways how people can change, you have to find your how and your why that suits you best.

I used hypnotherapy because I wanted to get to the root of the problem, I knew the problem was the way I was thinking about myself, I knew it but the problem was my mindset, And I knew I had to change.

So take a moment now think of your why, make sure that is what you want and not because someone has asked you to change or someone has told you to change. Hypnotherapy is brilliant for making those changes however you must want to change.

Let me give you some examples of why you may want to change.

You may be looking to get a new job and perhaps you lack the confidence for that new position. Perhaps, you feel that you’re missing out, perhaps going out with friends or for a meal because you felt that really, your friends didn’t want you there. You may have been in a controlling relationship and have constantly been undermined. Or do you constantly worry or overthink about things that you can’t control? Can you not take praise when it’s given? Do you worry about being in large crowns? Do you have a fear or phobia that stops you socialising? The list is endless.

There are so many reasons why people want to change there are many reasons why people need to change, but only you will know when the time is right for you. When the time is right, and you will know when it’s right, that’s when change can happen.

our subconscious remembers everything you have ever seen, felt, heard or smelt. A lot of that information we no longer need to hold onto, those feelings, those thoughts are what’s holding you back.

When it comes to making changes in life, it is often easier to talk about them rather than make them.  The first step is always the most difficult one. But one doesn’t have to do something as radical as moving to a new country; even small changes might be quite beneficial, and, who knows, some minor steps might further lead to huge leaps. 

Changing a hairstyle and outfit might be very useful and rewarding. The appearance is the physical reflection of one’s inner self and mood. Always wanted to have a short haircut and dye hair violet but never had the courage to do so? Well, just do it. Instead of overthinking it’s worth taking some action and do something you’ve ever wanted to do. The same goes with clothes. It’s worth trying different outfits and expressing one’s personality in such a way.

Changes in life help us move forward and become better professionals and better personalities, and that’s why even small variations in life can make us look at others and yourself differently and can bring us joy and life satisfaction.

When done reading this blog. I want you to grab a pen and paper and write down five reasons why you would like to change. Oi, come back. I said do it after reading this blog. By writing things down it makes it real, and when you read those five reasons back you can start thinking about the advantages of making those changes. When you have those advantages write them down also. Now you have two lists one saying why and the other one showing you why. Those lists can become your goals, achievable goals, and once you’ve reached those goals you may challenge yourself and set some higher goals.

Sometimes, you will be able to achieve your goals without any outside help. Start by talking to yourself as if you are your own best friend. Give yourself the advice that you would pass onto your best friend. Start to accept yourself as you are, and then make the changes that you want.

Hypnotherapy was my how. I knew hypnotherapy couldn’t change the past, but it can change the way you allow it to affect you. Content free hypnotherapy can help release the injustices, the hurt, the put downs, the grief and so much more. Allowing you to think more positively not only about yourself but for your future as well.

If you would like to know more about Hypnotherapy, contact me for a chat. If you’re not local to me, I am sure I could put you in contact with a hypnotherapist in your area. I’ve got to know many good therapists all over the country.

Until next time. Have a great week.

Best wishes

Jon x

Jon Adkin BAHyp Hypnotherapist

Based in Suffolk, covering Cambridge, Suffolk and Essex.

Author of ‘Can i Change?’ Available from amazon.

Find Jon on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.

Unplug that negative energy

Hi Welcome to this weeks blog. This week I want to talk about energy. Specifically negativity energy and kinetic energy.

Kinetic energy for those of you that are not sure is the energy of motion, observable as the movement of an object, particle, or set of particles. Any object in motion is using kinetic energy: a person walking, a thrown baseball, a crumb falling from a table, and a charged particle in an electric field are all examples of kinetic energy at work.

Kinetic energy can be defined as the energy which is present in every moving object. We can simply say that kinetic energy is the energy because of motion. Kinetic energy can be further classified into various types based on the type of motion of the objects. For example, rotational kinetic energy is the energy possessed by a body which is moving in circles, e.g. planets revolving around the sun have rotational kinetic energy; vibrational kinetic energy is the energy possessed by an object due to vibration, e.g. vibrating phone has a vibrational kinetic energy; translational kinetic energy is the energy possessed by an object moving from one point to another. Translational kinetic energy can be easily observed in our everyday life.

When walking or running, we possess some amount of kinetic energy. This is why we feel comparatively warm while running or after walking some distance. Sweat is the result of the heat produced by our body due to running. While walking or running, there is a conversion of chemical energy into kinetic energy.

So basically we are energy but what about the negative energy. Well we don’t want it, we don’t need it, so get rid of it.

As a hypnotherapist I see many people who say only bad things happen to me, or I’m surrounded by miserable, negative people. Do you know why that is? It is because you are sending out negative vibes. You are choosing to ignore all the good things going on around you and just focusing on all the bad things. 

If that is how you feel, you will continue to attract people feeling the same way as you, because negativity attracts negativity. You cannot hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life. Walk away from anything that gives you a bad vibe. There is no need to explain or make sense of it. It’s your life. Do what makes you happy.

Turn your day from a negative to a positive. Even how you respond is a great way to start.

Here 11 everyday phrases can easily be replaced, giving your vocabulary an instant positivity boost.

Every Day Positive Language

1. Why not? → Sounds good

2. No problem → Definitely!

3. Can’t complain → Everything’s going well, thanks

These phrases are meant to be positive – but the human brain has a negative bias, and subconsciously brings up all of the reasons not to do something, problems, or complains when processing these words.

4. I’m exhausted → I need to rest

Flipping the phrase to include a solution leaves both the speaker and the listener with a better taste in their mouths.

Positive Language at Work

5. I forgot → I’ll make sure to set a reminder

Again, focusing on what can be done will help the people around you expect a positive result.

6. Unfortunately, it will be impossible to finish the project on time because of the problems some people are causing with submitting their work late. → Can everyone turn in their portion of the project by Thursday so that we can complete the work on time and hit the deadline?

Email culture provides the perfect opportunity to work on positive language, as you can edit your words before sending them out to colleagues and clients. Look out for negative words like “unfortunately,” “impossible” and “problems” as flags for sentences to revise.

7. Constructive criticism → Feedback

The words you use to frame your feedback can have a significant impact on how it is received. To add to the positive vibe, healthy portions of compliments for achievements will help your colleagues take your comments on board.

Positive Language at Home

8. Don’t throw the ball inside! → Please take the ball outside.  Or

9. Don’t … → I like it when..

Telling children (and adults, too!) what you want them to do rather than what you don’t want them to do puts the focus on the desired action and ups your chances of a positive outcome.

10. I missed you so much! → It’s so great to see you!

While absence certainly does make the heart grow fonder, reunions can be a time to rejoice in the present rather than relating negative emotions from the past.

11. No! → I know you like ice cream, but eating too much isn’t healthy.

Unless you’re dealing with a serious safety issue, for example near a road or a swimming pool, explaining the reason behind your “no” helps children feel respected and included. As a guide, think about how you’d like your boss to speak to you.

Do you see what I’m saying, replace the negative words with a more positive approach.

If you come out of your bedroom and fall down the stairs. Don’t say “Oh that’s a greatstart to the day.”

No, you say ”Boy, I’ve never got down the stairs that quick before.” And smile that you were not hurt.

As a hypnotherapist I can help you release that negativity out of your system, We hold on to so much that no longer serves us.  Let’s do that mental detox. When you are ready contact me for a chat.

In the mean time. Stay positive and smile more.

Until next week, have a good one

Jon x

Jon Adkn BAHyp Hypnotherapist.

Hypnotherapist based in Suffolk, serving Suffolk, Cambridge and Essex.

Author of ‘Can I Change?’ A self help guide for anxiety.

Can you make your mind positive?

Hi. Hope you’re having a good week. I want to continue my blog on positive thinking and how it helps you.

There are plenty of reasons, why you should think positively but can you make your mind positive? It is a matter of attitude. Having a positive outlook on life will make you happy, while being negative will make you unhappy. Thinking positively will help you accomplish dreams and goals, and tasks would be easier to fulfill. Motivation is a positive quality and a wonderful trait to have.

Happiness

A positive attitude awakens happiness. You don’t have to be rich or achieve goals to be happy. It is a matter of attitude. When you adopt a positive frame of mind you become happy. Happiness does not depend on external causes. It comes from inside you.

You can be happy now. You don’t need to lose weight, get a promotion or win the lottery to be happy. It is a matter of attitude. Having a positive outlook on life will make you happy, while being negative will make you unhappy.

Motivation

Thinking positively will help you accomplish dreams and goals, and tasks would be easier to fulfill.

Motivation is a positive quality and a wonderful trait to have. It pushes you forward, encourages you, and helps you overcome obstacles.

A positive frame of mind increases your motivation to succeed and get what you want. It will make you believe you will get what you want. It will also motivate you to achieve more than you ever expected.

Self Esteem

Your attitude and the way you think have much to do with how you feel about yourself. If you adopt a positive attitude and think positively, you will have a better opinion of yourself, which means a sense of self-esteem.

Choose to look at yourself in a positive light. See what is positive and good in you. This will automatically increase your self-esteem.

Don’t worry about negative people, and about what they think and say about you. When you have a positive attitude toward yourself, the people around you will have a better opinion of you, and would treat you with more respect.

Loving yourself, being good to yourself, and being happy, are expressions of thinking positively. This attitude would also enhance your self confidence, your courage, and your inner strength.

Better health

People who think positively are usually more energetic and healthy than people who think negatively. They are happier, and this of course, affects their health.

The mind has a strong effect on the body and on health. When you think positively your immune system is healthier, and your body recuperates faster.

Improved relations

Another reason, why you should adopt a positive way of thinking is the effect it has on relations with people. People tend to gravitate and to like positive people, and to keep a distance from negative people.

Positive people bring joy, happiness and uplifting energy, and are fun to be around. They bring light and joy, and energize their environment.

Does thinking positive really work?

Most of us would prefer to be positive rather than negative… Research is beginning to reveal that positive thinking is about much more than just being happy or displaying an upbeat attitude. Positive thoughts can actually create real value in your life and help you build skills that last much longer than a smile.

Negative Thinking

Negative thinking can impact health. Pessimistic thoughts, often triggered by stress, can lead an individual to catastrophe — to think the worst. Ruminating on potential or past negatives can cause cortisol levels in the body to rise. Higher cortisol rates lead to increases in inflammation. This, particularly when it is chronic, can precede disease. Negative thought patterns may seem entrenched, but people can learn to think more positively.

Coping with Stress

The key to reducing cortisol levels is to learn to cope well with stress. While some stresses are inevitable, it is important to manage chronic stress associated with our work or everyday lives to prevent its mental and physical health impacts. Learning ways to think positively about problems or even setbacks and failures can lead to improved stress management. Coping in healthy ways can set the foundation for positive thinking.

Positive Thinking and Physical Health

Positive thinking can support improved physical health. A body of medical research demonstrates that positive thinking can actually increase lifespan. Researchers report that positive thinking benefits cardiovascular health. Just as negative thinking can lead to physical health problems like gastrointestinal issues, hair loss, and even rashes, positive thinking can reduce those physical symptoms perhaps already established from pre-existing chronic stress.

 Positive Thinking and Mental Health

Negative thinking can increase a person’s vulnerability to anxiety and depression. Positive thinkers have reduced rates of depression. Positive thinking helps people feel more emotionally resilient even when setbacks occur. Learning to think and look “on the bright side” can lead to improved psychological well-being. If anxiety and depression are allowed to continue, they can wreak emotional havoc in a person’s life. Positive thinking may not cure clinical mental disorders once they occur, but this type of thinking could help to prevent chronic stress from triggering them.

Immune System Support

By thinking in more positive terms, you could support immune system function. If you think of negative thinking as a means to tear down health, you can view positive thinking as a means to support it. According to medical research, people who display optimism in association with elements like work, family, and school demonstrate a stronger immune system response than those who think negatively.

Seek Humor

Even in those times when you don’t feel like laughing, it can be helpful to seek humor. Protect yourself from further “heavy” thinking by watching a funny video or laughing over a memory. Try to seek out the humor in everyday life. Evidence shows laughing each day can improve your outlook and help you to think in more positive terms.

Exercise

Exercise is a great way to reduce stress and promote positive thinking. Activities like walking, running, and swimming lead to the production and release of feel-good endorphins. These endorphins have a definite physical function; they help reduce pain and promote the healing of tissues after exercising. Their benefits do not stop there, however. Endorphins actually have a positive impact on the brain; if you’re feeling down, after their release, you may feel rejuvenated and better able to cope with a given situation.

Diet

Many medical researchers believe that diet can play a role in supporting positive thinking. For instance, foods that contain probiotics may support mental health. The fact is, optimum nutrition is a terrific stress-management tool. By eating nutrient-rich foods regularly, you can promote optimum mental health and make transitioning to positive thinking easier. To help stave off anxiety and depression, be sure you’re eating healthy fats contained in foods like salmon and walnuts. Limit ingredients like caffeine that can trigger nervousness and anxiety—conditions that make thinking positively more difficult.

 Therapy

If thinking positively was easy, wouldn’t everybody do it? Unfortunately, many people find it extremely challenging to change their thought patterns. Therapy can help us learn to think more positively. A therapist may guide people to self-identify negative thought patterns so they can reverse them before they become entrenched and more difficult to manage. Though it may require time, working with a therapist has led many individuals to manage their stress levels better and internalize effective ways to think positively.

and this is where I come in. I love turning clients lives around. I turned my life around. Let me help turn yours.

Until next week. Have a great week.

Jon X

Jon Adkin BAHyp Hypnotherapist

Confidence and Self Belief Specialist.

www.jonadkin.com Book online at jadkinbahyp.youcanbook.me