Welcome to June’s Blog.
When you believe in yourself, you can overcome self-doubt and have the confidence to take action and get things done. When you’re drowning in fears, doubts, and self-sabotaging behaviors, success feels out of your grasp. All of the skills, training, and tools in the world won’t change your life
Some people say it’s resources, luck, background or connections that create successful people. Whereas I surely agree that all these and many other factors influence the path of every individual, the most contributing factor to achieving something significant is self-belief. Without this key ingredient, there’s not a lot that could help you.
To put yourself on the track to success, you need to understand that your brain always plays against you. It doesn’t care about your big goals, the only thing it wants is to keep you alive. Therefore, we experience procrastination, self-doubt, negative thinking, anxiety and so on. The sure-fire way to overcome these obstacles is to not believe in them and truly believe in yourself.
If you don’t believe in yourself, who else will?
Honestly, if you don’t believe you’re going to succeed, then how on earth would anybody else do? Let’s say you want to build a successful business and you need to convince the investors that your idea is the one worth putting funds into.
You build self-confidence
If you are not confident enough, you’ll break like a twig the first time you face an obstacle. Whatever you want to achieve, there will be countless barriers questioning your competences. The only way to get through them is by being confident enough that you can and will.
This confidence comes from within, from the deep belief in yourself and your abilities.
Most of my work is with women who have fallen out of love with themselves. They come to me because they are struggling, and they want me to help them get the skills they need to live their life better. They want something quick and clear, a top ten list of items to implement in order to live effectively. If it were only that easy.
THE IMPACT OF BELIEVING IN YOURSELF
Believing in yourself affects everything you do. Everything. From your professional life to your personal life to your solitary life. In your relationship with yourself and in your relationships with others. In the choices you make and in the dreams you dream. How you view yourself, how you measure your value, how you assess your potential and how you determine your worth all combine to create the life you will live.
From your days as a student, the choices you make are determined by your belief in yourself. You choose your classes, your major, your training, your first job, not just based on what you think you might enjoy but based on what you think you are capable of and even deserve.
Parents, guidance counsellors, friends and neighbours may have influenced your belief in yourself by the judgement and advice they have given you- good, bad or otherwise. By ascribing certain schools as longshots or safeties based on their perception of your ability. By telling you which jobs you were qualified for or had enough experience in.
Sometimes these messages were shared with words like, “that’s a really hard school to get into” or “only the top students are ever chosen for that program.” Other times the message was more of a reaction, a look even, when you told someone, you trusted what you wanted and hoped for. Their eyes, their smile, their surprise indicated their support or disbelief. You may be receiving these messages still.
When we internalize the messages we receive, we often give them more weight than we do our own beliefs about ourselves. We start to take on the identity others ascribe to us and make choices based on that identity. We believe the version of ourselves that others project, a version that often reflects their own beliefs in themselves. We let others determine our value and worth. We let others write our stories.
In other cases, we receive great support and encouragement from those around us. We are fortunate to be told, over and over again, that we are valuable and worthy and capable of oh so much. That we can do anything we set our minds to. That the world is ours for the taking and that we can live the life we choose. But then, we reject these messages and raise the voice inside of us that says, “What do you know?”
So wherever you are coming from, whatever messages you have been told, whatever voices you have chosen to listen to, you are in a position today, right this moment to tell yourself that you are worthy and valuable and filled with potential and that you believe in yourself. No matter what anyone else has ever told you, including yourself.
START BELIEVING IN YOURSELF BY BELIEVING IN YOURSELF
Too often we look at others and compare our worth to theirs. Or we look at our past and use it to determine our future. Neither of these has any bearing whatsoever on what your life can be. No matter how successful and talented you deem everyone else to be or how many times you think you have failed, when you believe that the future is whatever you choose to make it, that is exactly what it begins to be.
You will decide what jobs to apply for based on your belief in your ability to secure them and do them well. You will pursue promotions based on your belief that you have earned them and that you are ready for the next level. You will take chances, risks and opportunities based on your belief that they are valuable for your growth and that you are valuable and deserving of them. You will negotiate and ask for raises based on your confidence in doing so and your belief that the money is rightfully yours. You will learn to confront people and situations because being liked by others is far less important to you than being respected and liked by yourself and believing in your strength to do the right thing. You will lead with confidence and vision because you recognize how great you can be, even if your skills are not yet where you would like them to be.
BELIEVING IN YOURSELF STARTS BEGINS AND ENDS WITH YOUR MINDSET
And like everything else, it all starts with your mindset, with the conversations you have with yourself and the messages you choose to believe. You can tell yourself that you are simply not good at something, or you can tell yourself that you can get better at anything you dedicate your energy to. You can talk yourself out of applying for a job you want because you think you will never get it, or you can prepare a powerful cover letter explaining why you are a fabulous fit for the position. You can tell yourself that you are just not good at public speaking or confrontation you excel or you can invest in your growth to get better at what will help you shine.
So how do you believe in yourself in moments or even a lifetime when you don’t? Some people will tell you to fake it until you do not have to fake it anymore. If that works for you, then do that. But more than faking it, I think being honest and starting exactly where you are is more effective. When I work with clients who want to quit smoking, the most powerful advice I ever give is all they had to do to quit smoking was to not smoke. Believing in yourself works exactly the same way. If you want to start doing it, you simply need to start doing it. It is a process and it may be slower and harder than you would prefer., but know that you will get better at it if you choose.
Until next month
Start believing in yourself. and make your dreams a reality.
Have a good month
Jon Adkin BAHyp Clinical Hypnotherapist and IEMT Practitioner.
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