Blue Monday?

Hi

Welcome back or just welcome if you have never been here before.January is nearly done, well done, you survived another month. This blog I want to look at all these new days and specials etc that we seem to be getting, Black Friday, Cyber Monday etc etc. The latest one was January 21st this year known as Blue Monday. What’s that all about?

Well according to the media. Blue Monday is a day on which we feel gloomy or dispirited, especially as we have to return to work after the weekend. This particular Monday is towards the end of January which is meant to be the most depressing day as credit cards bills come in, and the bank balance is low, so we feel pretty low, even depressed.

What a load of rubbish! Sorry but Monday 21st is no different to Tuesday 22nd or even Monday 14th. Why should we feel low or depressed just because the media tells us. How many of you woke up on Blue Monday and felt great, you was happy and smiling you didn’t care what day it was, you felt great. Then you got to work and your friends were talking about Blue Monday, and how you should feel blue, miserable even depressed.

Guess what. As soon as they started telling you that you should feel grumpy, your good mood when right out of the window. Be honest how many of you did that?

If you’ve ever sulked through the day just waiting for it to be over, only for someone to walk up and comment on your bleak mood with a “Wow, someone’s in a bad mood,” it can pull you even deeper into dreariness. Weirder yet is the fact that you can be in an actually okay mood, but being accused of being in a bad mood will immediately ruin it.

Listen, we’re not in a bad mood, we’re fine. Okay?

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In a sense, since being outwardly upset is out of the ordinary in our society — especially for adults — someone pointing out you’re in a bad mood can make you feel like a child. In the adult world, your slight grimace and short answers are the grown-up equivalent of kicking and writhing around on the floor. You can’t control your emotions, you child. This shame compounds your bad mood, and now everything is terrible.

So what’s the answer?  Be upfront and honest with yourself about your mood,  Much like accurately identifying what you’re angry at, acknowledging your rotten mood and giving yourself permission to feel that way can be helpful. “Acceptance starts with you,”  “If someone asks and you don’t want to talk about it, you can just say, ‘Yes, but I’ll be okay. What’s up?’ Or, ‘Yes but don’t worry, it’s not about you.’

YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU’RE IN A BAD MOOD IN THE FIRST PLACE

The question can also hold a magnifying glass up to some of the darker insecurities you might have been ignoring. Human beings interpret each other’s facial expressions, body language, tone, eye contact and other senses, unconsciously or otherwise,  In some cases, an individual might read into the unspoken signals that the other may be feeling, but not expressing directly.”

In other words, in your mind, you’re just going about your day, but on the outside, you’re slouching, staring forlornly out a rainy window and sighing on every third breath. When another person senses this, for better or worse, they’ll ask you about it.

It’s like being on a walk and someone pointing out how hot it is. Oh God, it’s so hot, you suddenly realise, I’m on fire. This is the worst day of my life. The same goes for someone pointing out your bad mood: It makes you question your current status in life, which leads to all those Sunday night questions: Why am I in such a bad mood? Do I hate my job? What am I actually doing with my life? 

The answer.  You should take note of how you respond to this question. If you get defensive, it may indicate that the person is accurately picking up vibes you’re not even conscious of. The next time you hear that comment, take a step back and observe how you’re feeling, and what you might be communicating, Yes, the question was annoying, but before you lash out, realise that it’s probably a good thing to acknowledge what you’re feeling, and to work to resolve what’s making you feel that way.

Until society acknowledges that being in a bad mood is normal, and that you don’t have to be radiating sunshine at all times, it’s best to acknowledge and accept your bad mood at the individual level.

Only when you know that you’re in a bad mood — and accept that you’re in a bad mood — will you be able to answer the “Are you in a bad mood?” question without dragging yourself deeper into the abyss: “Yeah, the f@*$ing  neighbours played until loud music till 3 a.m. last night, so I didn’t get any f@*$ing sleep. But I’ll come around.”

See? Isn’t it much better when you can express yourself like a grownup?

Be you. Don’t be told how to feel or change your mood to please others.

Have a great day ( if you want to of course )

Best wishes.

Name

Another year done.

Well that’s it for another year. Didn’t it seem to go quickly? Decorations are down and in the box. forgotten about till next December. However isn’t it funny that we can box away the decoration and forget about them till next year yet all the emotions and injustices that we suffered over the year we carry on in to the next year.  Why is that?

We has humans are not prepared to let things go, so we harbour a grudge or we let the mistake or the action rule our lives. We hold on to to many negative feelings and this affects our behaviour and our future. We say we’ve had a bad day but really all we had was a bad 5 minutes in that day and we have let it spoil the rest of the day and the evening. Why?

We can’t change the past, but we can learn to deal with it differently.  If we make a mistake, learn from it and move on. Change a negative thought into a positive thought.

Something like this.  All you new gym members, at the moment you are saying. “it’s hard work, and i’m not really enjoying it.” So you are telling your mind that you are not enjoying it. So try saying ” I’ve joined the gym, it’s hard but the results will be so worth it.” That way you are telling your mind that yes it’s hard but you can’t wait to see the results.

Our minds are listening to us all the time, so be careful what you say.

This year is going to be an exciting year. The new book, Can I Change? which is available from Amazon is doing well and alongside my one to one hypnotherapy sessions, I am launching 3 packages. All anxiety based but all to make your life easier, better and so much happier.

Oi Butt out!

is my smoking cessation package. A single hard hitting session to stop you smoking. This package includes Hypnotherapy audio files, PDFs and live one to one Q&As via a private Facebook group.

All in Good Thyme.

A 4 Session 12 week Package which not only includes Weight loss and motivation hypnotherapy sessions but also PDFs to back up our sessions together , and live one to one Q&As via a private Facebook group.  Along with a 12 month Peace of Mind contact agreement where you as my client can contact me should you ever feel that you are slipping back to that dark place, and we work together to get you back to where you want to be.

Am I bothered?

A 4 Session Package which not only includes Anxiety hypnotherapy sessions but also PDFs to back up our sessions together, and live one to one Q&As via a private Facebook group, and a workbook along with a 12 month Peace of Mind contact agreement where you as my client can contact me should you ever feel that you are slipping back to that dark place, and we work together to get you back to where you want to be.

I wish you a very Happy New Year and I hope its’s a good one for you.

Best wishes

NameXX

Merry Christmas

Well,  what a year that was. I would love to thank my clients and anyone who has supported my business this year. whether you came to see me, liked a post, shared a comment. it all helps and it’s nice to nice know I have you support.

Next year there will be lots of exciting thinks happening.alongside my usual sessions I t’s all going to be about packages. a 3 or 4 session package tailored specifically for the client. more details to follow but I am very excited by all the things that I have been working on and will offer to my clients.

my book ‘Can I Change?’ is doing well and is available from Amazon in paperback or Kindle or as an e-book direct from this site.

That’s enough about me. I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas but for those people who are struggling let me offer you these things to remember especially if you are going through tough times.

Please remember

Everything can – and will – change.

You’ve overcome challenges before, you will do it again.

Use it as a learning experience.

Sometimes, not getting what you want can be a blessing.

Allow yourself to have fun.

Being kind to yourself is the best medicine.

Other people’s negativity isn’t worth worrying about.

and there is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

and going forward

Things to quit in 2019

Trying to please everyone.

Fearing change.

Living in the past.

Overthinking.

Being afraid to be different.

Sacrificing your happiness for others.

Thinking you’re not good enough.

Thinking you have no purpose.

Anxiety quick tips.

Start Deep-Breathing

If you’re not focused on how to calm your body through slow,          intentional belly-breathing, you’re missing out. Belly-breathing is free, location independent, and easy to implement.

Meditate instead of Medicate

Calm is an inside job. Give yourself the gift of serenity and start the day with ten minutes of solitude and positive energy. Think calm, measured and open-minded, and your daily activities will correspond.

Practice Self-Care

Get a massage, a mani-pedi, or a haircut. Nothing says polished and well-maintained like a sexy, healthy glow.

Eliminate fizzy drinks

That morning cup of coffee can jump start your day and provide warmth and comfort, but anything with high fructose corn syrup and 177 other ingredients will not.

Trim the Fat from Your Budget

Debt will keep you up at night and contribute to feelings of low        self-worth and hopelessness. Take charge of your finances and stop spending on non-essentials.

Track your daily expenses for a week or two and decide where you can cut back. Notice the items you accumulate mindlessly.

Plan a Day Trip

When you spend time in nature, you give your mind and body a much needed break from the hustle and bustle which causes you to Google things like “How to get rid of anxiety” in the first place. Chances are no matter where you live, there’s a serene, interesting and charming place within a couple hours.

Go to Bed Early

This may sound impossible if you’re accustomed to staying up late to catch up on the To-Do list. But this one’s a MUST. Sleep deprivation is a huge anxiety culprit. Inadequate shuteye can amplify the brain’s  anticipatory reactions, upping overall anxiety levels, according to    research

Wake up 15 Minutes Early

Like most anxious people, you’re probably rushing around in the morning and yelling at everyone in your wake, “Hurry up! We’re going to be late!” Go slowly, and set yourself up for a relaxed day ahead. If you start to worry about the To-Do list, take a deep breath and think, There is enough time.

Get Your Lavender On!

Lavender oil has many healing properties and can be used as a natural remedy to reduce anxiety and other nervous conditions. There are many ways to incorporate lavender into your calm tool kit:

Reduce Caffeine, Sugar and Processed Foods From Your Diet

Caffeine can cause heart palpitations if you ingest too much. Caffeine also can trigger panic or anxiety attacks, especially if you have an   anxiety disorder. Hypoglycaemia, or low blood sugar, can also cause       palpitations.

Know that Feelings Are Not Facts

One of the hardest jobs of a hypnotherapist is to convince your      anxious client that the feelings of low self-worth, guilt and shame are not accurate. Negative thoughts cause negative feelings.

Challenge Negative Core Beliefs

Remember that thoughts precede feelings. Negative thoughts lead to negative  emotions, which lead to negative behaviours.

Get Some Accountability

If you’re BFF with Nervous Nellie or Anxious Allen, put your keyed-up energy to good use. Vow to work on healthier ways to cope when feeling stressed together.

Attend a Social Gathering (Even If You Don’t Want To)

If you’re prone to social anxiety, it’s important to make time for       socialization. It’s cool to be an introvert, but know that we live in a universe that revolves around connecting with others.

Exercise, Exercise, Exercise!

Exercise is nature’s anti-anxiety remedy. Besides clearing the mind, firing up the endorphins, and helping you sleep soundly at night,     researchers have found that individuals who exercise vigorously and regularly were 25 percent less likely to develop an anxiety disorder within five years.

Accept Your Anxiety

Whether you inherited the “anxiety gene” from your parents, or your lifestyle, or both, accept your anxiety rather than fight it. It’s not about rolling over and giving up. Understand you have to work hard every day to bring calm to your environment.
Remember there’s always options in life, and worse fates exist than being anxiety-sensitive. After all, when push comes to shove, at the end of the (stressed out) day, anxious people get the job done!

Schedule a Visit with a Therapist

 Nobody deserves to feel bad. A qualified mental health professional is your best bet if your anxiety is unbearable.

ps. I know a good one.

You can beat this, and you will beat this.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a very successful 2019.

Best wishes

Name XXX

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can I change?

Don’t you just hate this time of year. everywhere you turn someone is trying to sell you something. Doesn’t it drive you just mad.  Welcome to my blog.

Hey. I have a new book out!

Yep I’m one of the annoying someones trying to sell you something.  sorry about that but I have no shame. my new book  ‘Can I Change?’ is available from Amazon at  Jon Adkin on Amazon.

Book Cover

My book isn’t a hypnosis book but a book full of tips, advice, facts and affirmations to help women and especially mums control their anxiety and give themselves some self-confidence. It’s an ideal stocking filler and comes in 3 formats.

Paperback £12.50   Kindle  £9.99  e-book  £10.00 (available from jonadkin.com)

So what do you get for your money? Well it’s not war and Peace I can tell you that,  it’s a book that you can dip in and out of at your leisure. It breaks down anxiety and how it effects you at different times of  day. So there is a section on morning anxiety. how it effects you, what you can do to control it and steps that you can take to actually prevent it. Is your anxiety worse in the afternoon or evening? there is a section there for you to. Full of tips that again puts you in control. and night time anxiety. Why can’t you sleep, or why is the sleep so broken. What are you doing wrong. This book may have the answer. You may need to change some of the habits that you’ve got into. you may even have to change your diet but whatever your lifestyle I’m sure there is going to be a tip or a piece of advice that will help you.

I also look at self-confidence. What is it? how do we show ourselves to others? and most importantly how we gain it for ourselves.

Also I’m a fan of using daily affirmations. well this book has loads. and I also explain how best to use them to get the best results.

So that’s it. are you sold?

Sorry for the blatant plug but I really believe in this book and I think it will help many people before the anxiety really takes over.

Normal service will be resumed next week. My last blog before Christmas. Where did this year go?

Enjoy the last week before the big day. remember don’t put too much pressure on yourselves. Don’t get yourself in debt. make memories but most importantly of all enjoy it.

Oh before I go. one more plug.

ukplug

Have a great weekend.

Name xx

 

Ease your Anxiety Advent Calendar

Hello Happy December.

So the Christmas playlist is on. the decorations are up. Up in the loft where they will stay for a couple of more weeks, but it is starting to feel a bit like Christmas.

I’m still sadly getting enquiries from people who want the sessions but put themselves on hold for the Christmas period. It is a shame as they could possibly have the best Christmas ever by lifting that anxiety, that worry, that THING. However Not going to rant anymore. I want to help wherever I can so what I am doing on my Facebook business page is running an Ease that Anxiety Advent Calendar. Facebook Advent  Each day I will offer you tips on how to ease that anxiety. It may even be worth jotting them down so that you can return to them at any point.

It’s not much but even if just one of the tips helps you to enjoy the festive period more than you would have, then I will be happy.

christmas-1

So Are you ready for the big day? do you have plans? Are you dreading it or can you not wait? Isn’t it strange how we all get worked up over one day (and some even sleep most of the afternoon) Now don’t get me wrong I’m not a Bah Humbug at all, I love the build up, I love the day (Usually) but it never ceases to amaze me how much pressure people put on themselves both financially and mentally just for one day.

What did Santa get you?

Forget hello, the first words kids will be excitedly shouting to their friends on the first day of school after the holidays will undoubtedly be to ask their friends what special gifts that Santa brought them on Christmas morning.

As some children jump about and happily share their answers, you’ll notice other children becoming more withdrawn or even upset at this line of questioning.

Because while Santa brought their friends everything they asked for, he may have only brought them a modest gift.

Or not visited at all.

Yes, as adults we can understand that this is due to income inequality – “rich kids” and “poor kids” – but for kids, Santa represents rewarding good behaviour and punishing bad behaviour. (Regardless of what you try to teach at home.)

Despite our best intentions, kids quickly determine that their friends who got everything they wanted must have been very good and those who didn’t get lavish presents must have been naughty.

That’s why this year, I’m encouraging you to consider letting Santa bring the smaller gifts – and put your name on the big presents.

I mean, after all, why should Santa get the glory for your hard work and effort?

It doesn’t mean that those presents can’t still be special and meaningful. In fact, we all know that it’s not often the jaw-droppingly expensive presents that end up being the most special. And Christmas magic is often best captured in other ways, beyond gift bringing:

  • Making Santa footprints on the floor with a bit of flour
  • Tracking Santa on Google GPS
  • Leaving out milk and cookies – and some reindeer mix, too!
  • Hot chocolate and special Christmas stories
  • Christmas Eve traditions like tobogganing or getting to open one gift
  • Singing Christmas songs and baking
  • – or crafting
  • – or building LEGO!
  • Doing something special for someone else

In a season where we try a little extra hard to think about others and practice kindness, it makes sense to me to want to let other children’s feelings and self-worth be preserved. Our children lose nothing from having a simple name swap on their gift tags. They’re still getting the same presents we planned – we’re just taking all of the credit for the big ticket items!

Of course, we can encourage our children to be humble and not brag about all the gifts they received, but we can’t expect kids to not want to share their good fortune with their friends. What we can do is ensure that when our kids do share, that it doesn’t leave other children wondering, “Why did Santa bring Johnny an XBox and I got slippers? I must have been bad this year.”

 

Santa is real for a short window of time, but the scars of feeling bad and inadequate can last a lot longer than that. There’s enough opportunities out there for kids to feel unequal – let’s do what we can to let all kids have a magical Christmas.

Speak again soon.

Have a great week.

Name XX