Are you your best?

Hi.

Well that was a leading question wasn’t it. What did you answer in your head when you read it? We are ever rarely at our best,  We have aims, we have dreams and we strive to accomplish them but do we ever give it our best?

Sadly we live in a time that we all dream but we don’t do what’s needed to reach them. We have great intentions, we even plan (a bit) but after a short while, when things are not quite working out…We give up.

Life gets in the way and our motivation dwindles and then we just sit back and do what we were doing before. Don’t worry it’s not just you. it’s a very big percentage of the population. Just to clarify that. Hands up if you have an exercise bike in your bedroom or spare room which is now a clothes hanger. or who joined a gym, went a few times then well just lost the motivation. Yep we have all done it, but why? Why do we lose the motivation, the drive, the ambition. I will tell you. We listen to that inner critic, that little voice inside our head that tells us  we are not good enough or that we can’t do something. Some call it that jabbering monkey mind.

So what is it? According to Buddhist principles, the “monkey mind” is a term that refers to being unsettled, restless, or confused. Writer and Buddhist Natalie Goldberg, who teaches many writing workshops, suggests that the monkey mind is the inner critic. It’s the part of your brain most connected to the ego, which contends that you can’t do anything right. It’s also the part of you that stifles creativity and prevents you from moving forward with your passions. The monkey mind insists on being heard, and sometimes it takes a lot of self-control

to shut it down. It is also the part of your brain that becomes easily distracted, so if you want to get anything done in life, your challenge will be to shut down the monkey mind.

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So can we calm it down or even shut it down. Well yes we can. As a hypnotherapist I do get a lot of clients come to me to say they don’t feel good enough, or they self criticise, and they can’t accept praise. This is all common of our friend monkey brain doing what he does best. putting that person down.

Now that voice may have started out as a parent, a friend or a teacher who put you down in some way,  made you feel that you couldn’t achieve and then over the years that voice become your voice. suddenly it wasn’t your parent or your so called friend or a teacher putting you down it was you. You’ve heard the saying you are your own worst enemy.

Taming your monkey mind will do all of the following for you:

It will give you clarity of mind.

It will allow you to focus on the present and on the task at hand.

It will improve the quality of your sleep.

It will increase your sense of calm and of well-being.

It will make you happier.

The first step in your quest to calm your monkey mind is to know that it’s possible to do so. It’s very likely that up until this point you’ve allowed your monkey mind to run wild. But now you’re going to put an end to that. After all, your thoughts don’t rule you. You rule your thoughts.

Talk to Your Monkey Mind. When your monkey mind is in full swing, calm it down by having a conversation with it. Stop for a moment and listen to what your monkey mind is saying. Why is it upset? What’s all the shouting about? Then, do the following:

  • Is your monkey mind trying to remind you of something that needs to be done? If it is Make a note of it and schedule the item so that your monkey mind doesn’t need to worry about it any longer.
  • Is your monkey mind anxious about something in the future? Reassure your monkey mind that everything is going to be fine. Conduct a worst-case scenario with your monkey mind, and come up with a contingency plan.
  • Is your monkey mind voicing resentment over something that happened in the past?  Realize that you need to create an action plan for dealing with your past so that your monkey mind stops bringing it up.

Sometimes your monkey mind just needs to be heard. Once it feels that it’s been allowed to voice its grievances and concerns, it will settle down.

Play a Game of Fives. The moment in which you hear the first monkey howling in your mind, you’ll know that it’s very likely that your mind has wandered off and that it’s no longer in the present moment. You can get the tribe of monkeys in your mind to quiet down by bringing your mind back to the present.

One way to bring your mind back to the present is by playing the Game of Fives. Pause your train of thought and notice five things in your environment. It can be five things you see, hear, or smell. Then, fully experience the sight, sound, or smell. You can do this by pretending that it’s the first time you’ve ever experienced that sight, sound, or smell, and by adopting a sense of awe.

The moment in which you do this all of your attention will be placed on the present moment, and your monkey mind will be silenced.

Engage Your Mind. I’m sure that you’ve experienced moments when your mind was completely still. Perhaps you were so involved in a book, or in a movie, or in your writing, that the monkey mind went silent. You just experienced directly what was going on, without your mind chatter giving you a running commentary of events, as they occurred.

This is because one way to silence your monkey mind is by engaging your mind. The next time your monkey mind is driving you nuts, look for an activity that draws you in completely, so that all of your attention is placed on what you’re doing, and there’s no attention left over to listen to the monkey mind.

Conclusion

As was stated in this blog, taming your monkey mind has many benefits. Although calming your mind will take some practice, it can be done. The strategies and techniques explained above are a great place to start. Live your best life by taming your monkey mind.

If you need help come and see me or drop me a message.

Hypnotherapy is a great way to silence that inner critic.

Until next time

Jon XX

 

 

Are you supported?

Hi.

How you all doing? Better than Theresa May I bet. Don’t worry I’m not going all  political. What I want to blog about this week is support. Support from your family, from your friends and if your in business support of your customers or clients. A support network is very important.

One of the reasons Theresa May resigned is because she did not have the support of her cabinet. Without that support you are facing an uphill battle. When my clients come to me they want to change. I quickly establish why they want to change and who they want to change for. If it’s themselves then great, if it’s to please others then that is not so great. Trying to change to please others is not always a good idea and in the long term not always right for them. However is a client comes to me and wants to change for whatever reason, it could be weight loss or to stop smoking, or just to gain more confidence etc and they tell me it’s for them so that they can start to enjoy life more, then I will do all that I can to help that client, but on top of my help they need the support and the encouragement from those around them. Immediate family, friends and work colleagues. a few kind words of encouragement go a long way. and it means the world to the person who is trying to make that change.

I will be honest when I decided to leave my job and a steady wage to start my hypnotherapy business I lost some friends and family support, (not all but the ones who mattered) and without those it has felt lonely at times. However I have great self belief (Thanks to hypnotherapy) and I am making a success of the business, but it would still be so much sweeter with the full support of family and friends.

And now a commercial break

May Book

My book Can I Change. Available from Amazon. 

So what can you do to help and support someone who wants to or needs to change.  Well the first thing is show them support (even if you have doubts) give them words of encouragement boost their confidence, just be there. ListenYour very presence can be a comfort to a friend. Sometimes keeping someone company while they go through their trials is a gift in itself. Expand your friend’s perspective. If your friend seems to be afflicted with tunnel vision, help them expand their perspective. You could say, “There could be another way to look at this. What about…?” You could also expand perspective by pointing out the consequences of their actions to their future self: “This may seem like a good idea at this moment, but how will you feel in a week? A month? A year?” And you can shrink an overstated problem with a saying like, “This too shall pass.” If you dare, help them empathise with the other person in the conflict. Ask, “How can I help?” But be prepared to set boundaries if direct help would draw you too tightly into your friend’s knotty problem. What might work with one friend might not work with another. Use your good judgement. Ideally, your advice will strengthen your friend and give them more confidence in their own judgement in the future. And if you feel like you are getting in too deep, remember that ultimately it’s your friend’s job to solve their own problems, not you.

If your friend or family member is starting a new business, here are some ways that you could help them too.

Motivation and loneliness are among the top unforeseen challenges of starting a business. Staying motivated is critical to keeping a business alive, but it isn’t something you can buy. Family, friends, and colleagues can be a great source of motivation.  So even if you’ve never started a business, you can be instrumental in helping others start and maintain their own. Here’s what you can do to offer your support:

Take Them Out to Lunch

Starting a business can be lonely when you feel you are the only one that believes in your vision. That worsens when you have to work in isolation on initial business planning.

Invite your friend out to lunch or dinner for a ‘business meeting’. Let them talk to you about the challenges, goals, and recent successes in their business. Or, if they want a little break from the madness this could be a great opportunity to catch up and take a break from their business. Be open. Take their lead for the topic of conversation.

Ask How You Can Help

Funding is an important part of starting a business, but it’s not the only thing that matters. Marketing, sales, operations, and accounting are also critical parts to a successful business. Ask what is need and how you might be of help. This is could be a great opportunity for you to sharpen some skills that you are not using in your own day-to-day job. Ask, you might be surprised with what they say.

Share Resources

Networking is powerful. If you hear of networking events, find a professional organisation, or just meet someone that you think would be a great resource – be sure to share that info with your friend. You can make an introduction via LinkedIn or emails, or just text over a link.

Have Impactful Interactions

In an industry where you have to constantly prove your business value and trajectory, it’s important to stay encouraged.  Encourage your friend by reminding them of their potential and initial vision. Remember those ‘small victories’ or ‘resources’ that might help them push through hard times. Like their posts. Make comments on their facebook or Instagram pages. Promote their website.

As Mr Tesco once said Every little helps.

Until next time. Have a great week

Jon XX

I’m Passionate.

Hi Welcome to the end of May.

Now did the title of this blog interest you? Are you expecting a blog all about relationships and loving? if you are you may be a little disappointed.  What I was pointing out is that I’m passionate about my work (Sorry to disappoint). I’ve just spent a few days in Ireland and whilst I was there I caught up with some of the extended family and of course the conversations got round to my work and hypnotherapy especially.  Now once I get talking about what I do, I won’t stop, and the one word that kept coming out was passion. they pointed out to me how passionate I am about hypnotherapy, how passionate I am towards helping others and how passionate I was to build my business.

You know what they are absolutely right. I am passionate, and if that comes across, then I’m pleased. When I was working at the school I loved my job and I enjoyed seeing the children develop, but now It’s different. I see clients perhaps for only 3 or 4 sessions and in that time we work together to turn that persons life around, and we do.

In my last blog Do you feel lucky.  I told you why I do what I do, and it’s good to know that my passion still comes across.

Are you passionate about anything?

The thing is, the biggest misconception about people finding their passion is that the ones who haven’t found it yet think it will just click for them and come naturally. That’s not the case. Our passion is something we stick with long enough to thoroughly enjoy doing it, that we don’t even mind working for long hours on it.

Here are my tips to help you find your passion. Pick something that you’re naturally talented at, and just stick with it. It doesn’t matter if you want to switch or you don’t like it anymore, pursue it long enough to be able to win a couple of competitions in that field. Then, you will feel extremely good about it and will want to continue pursuing it, because you feel like you’re the best at it!

The thing about us humans is that, when we feel or “accept” that we can’t be the best at something, we lose interest in it and move on to something else. That’s what being lazy is all about- when we easily give up and move onto something that we think is easier. The people who actually find their passion are those who stick with one thing long enough to be at the top.

People with a passion are able to enjoy it for a long time because what they do makes them feel good about themselves, that they are better than everyone else at it. But how do you become the best at something? Well by spending more time on that thing than other people.

So don’t worry about not being passionate about anything right now. Very rarely will someone be passionate about something from the start. Find something you like or something you are talented at, and once you spend enough time to become an expert at it, trust me, you’ll always enjoy doing it. Passion is that satisfactory feeling that comes as a result of forcing yourself to become skilled enough to beat others, putting you on top of the world!

It sounds like that’s the same case with you and pretty much everyone else who doesn’t enjoy their work. You may “like” some things, but once you get put down by others who are better than you, you quit. To overcome that and turn something into your passion, don’t give up so easily and keep on pursuing it until you reach the top.

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Who knows what your passion may be.

here are 10 things to get passionate about.

1. Yourself

You will end up spending the rest of your life with yourself! Investing passion into your self, your self-improvement, and future development is always going to be a good investment.

Of course, that can be much easier said than done for a lot of people. Anything ranging from mental health problems to general set-backs in life can prevent a person from seeing their own value and worth.

2. Animals

Animals and pets serve as a comforting escape for so many people. They are relatively uncomplicated, especially when compared to trying to navigate the difficulties of work, life, relationships, and friendships.

Animals are fairly simple and offer unconditional love, which inspires similar passion in animal lovers and pet owners.

A passion for animals can extend to your own pets, volunteering at shelters, pet sitting, bird watching, dog walking, or just sitting at a dog park and watching the animals play.

3. Hobbies

There are so many different hobbies and interests out there to take part in.

Developing a passion for a hobby, particularly a hobby that you can share with others, can really help ignite passion and creativity in other areas of your life.

4. Art

Few things invoke passion in people like art, even if we aren’t necessarily an artist ourselves.

There is something to be said about the magnificence of seeing masterpieces of creativity, whether they are paintings, sculptures, writing, or anything that a person creates through their vision and effort.

5. Uplifting Others

Kindness is an investment that always pays back dividends, not necessarily from the outside, but for one’s own peace of mind and soul.

People are social creatures and we benefit from socialisation. In many ways, what we put out into the world is returned to us in the form of our own inner peace, happiness, contentment, and well-being.

That makes developing passion for others into something that can really help with our peace of mind and place in life.

Developing a habit for uplifting and helping others, whether it’s in your personal life or through charity work with others, is a great choice.

6. Learning

A passion for learning can open so many doors and broaden your horizons.

Learning is a gift that continuously gives to the person who is nurturing and growing their knowledge.

Learning also pairs well with experiences. It’s one thing to read a book or listen to a lecture, but actually going out and partaking in a new activity that you learned about can help you meet new people and develop a deeper understanding.

7. Simplifying

Life is a complicated machine with an infinite array of moving parts. Developing a passion for simplification can help bring everything into a more orderly focus.

Life, of course, is not always easy or predictable. Things will come out of nowhere that can affect your life either positively or negatively.

Simplification can help reduce your stress, make it easier to interpret situations, and make better decisions in the overall grand scheme of things.

8. Health And Fitness

A passion for health and fitness will boost your well-being in the future.

The body is a machine that must be taken care of if we want it to perform well for an extended period of time. Developing a passion for health and fitness will not only help with physical health, but it helps improve one’s mental health and overall well-being.

9. Career

A career-minded person with a strong passion for what they do, whether it is something mundane or magnificent, can make a significant difference in the world and within their industry.

There are some loud voices and opinions shouting down the importance of passion and happiness about having a career, which is strange, since most of us are going to spend at least a third of our adult life working.

Finding peace, happiness, and passion in one’s career can make that time much less stressful.

And if you have a career that you don’t like or don’t feel passionate about, maybe it’s time to start looking at other options and exploring new opportunities before quitting your job and starting afresh.

There are so many roads to success and happiness out there. There’s no reason to force yourself onto just one.

10. Taking Action

The ability to take action is what leads to positive changes in one’s life and well-being.

Well wishes, ideas, and inspiration is all quite cheap and shallow. Success in all things goes to the people who choose to take action and work on their goals.

Dedication and discipline are what keep people moving forward through the low times when they doubt themselves or their path.

Anxiety and fear fade away with action, because you gain experience and build confidence in your ability to tackle the things that are in front of you.

There is no more important passion in life to develop than one for taking action. Action is what leads to every single successful venture, whether it’s personal development or professional.

And it’s super easy to start! All you need to do is choose to do the work.

Now it’s your turn. What are you passionate about? Leave a comment below to share your passions with others who might be looking for inspiration.

Have a great week.

Jon XX

Do you feel Lucky punk?

Do you remember that quote from Dirty Harry (Old Clint Eastwood film. What do you mean who is Clint Eastwood) Actually it’s a misquote, what was actually said was, “You’ve got to ask yourself one question. Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?” Do you feel lucky?

I know I do, but why. I’m short (not far off from an Elf according to my youngest son who is 6 foot tall) I’m balding rapidly, I’ve had two major heart attacks, 2 strokes, I have metal shoulders and I’m registered disabled. So what have I go to feel lucky about? Easy answer, Everything. I’m still here, I’m loving what I do helping other people and  for me and my health each day is a gift, which I enjoy opening.

know I know if you were to go by my medical records I am a mess. (Thought they were going to name a bench after me in the grounds of the local hospital at one point) but I am lucky. Lets go back to the early 60s I was born in Gloucester to a woman who decided for whatever reason she could not keep me. Now I could have just been abandoned somewhere. Left in a doorway or worse, but no. I was put up for adoption (Lucky break) at 18 months I was adopted by the best family ever and that goes for the extended family as well. (Lucky break) I had the best childhood down in London and without being spoilt I couldn’t have asked for more. I was bought up knowing I was adopted, and the way it was told me was that I was special as I was chosen. (Ok Dad wanted a girl, but luckily she was a messy eater, so they chose me) (Lucky break).

As a young adult I was a drummer in a band and thought that was going to be my future. However my shoulders had other ideas. 16 dislocations of the left shoulder in one year (Bloody painful) I had my first pin put in on the day John Lennon was shot. 8th December 1980. (Ok I can see you thinking that’s not lucky) stay with me.

That pin didn’t last long nor did the next, or the next.  Then my right shoulder started to dislocate a lot. More ops. So how is this lucky? My dislocations were wearing away my shoulder blades. Back then I could have easily have lost use of my arms but there was a surgeon in Cambridge who wanted to try something a bit radical on a young man A shoulder fusion (Lucky break). Which means I have no use of my shoulders and very restricted movement, (which I have got use to), but I have the use of my arms.  Now my operating theatre must have looked like the hardware shelf in B&Q

Shoulders

See what I mean

So my drumming career was over as was my very short love of golf. but I had my arms. now after some sick time I had to think which direction my career would go. Now because I had become a house husband I was responsible for getting my eldest ready for school and on on the school bus each day, which I did for quite a time but each morning the head teacher use to drive past and one day she stopped (Lucky break) she asked what I did with my days while I was undergoing physiotherapy. I said not a lot so she offered to drive me in each day and I could listen to readers and help with art (my other love). Well to cut a long story short I was there for 25 years and I ended up becoming the IT manger. In that time I made some wonderful friends and met so many lovely families and worked with some lovely children. (Lucky break)

Because I believe in myself I am still achieving. I’ve written and illustrated 9 books now. (6 children’s books, 2 poem books and and a book on anxiety. I’m still setting new goals and while I am breathing I always will

Now at long last I get to the point. I didn’t have much to feel lucky about but my mindset remained positive and it always will do. When I lost my confidence and self esteem I turned to hypnotherapy to get me through, and it did. Not only did it get me through It got me beyond where I was. I used the Paul Mckenna Self hypnosis videos back then and continued to use them as my life took a whole new direction. I am now a qualified hypnotherapist and having left the school. I have my own private practise in Suffolk helping people who want help to improve their lives. I’ve written this blog because on Facebook this week I saw a post from someone saying “only bad things happen to me.” well that isn’t true. I know this person. They have their health. They are married, they have their own house, they have a job, they have a car and they have two very healthy children.  Yes they have ups and downs in life but we all have them. It’s how we deal with them and how we let it effect us.

If you ignore all the good things that happen in your life and just focus on the bad times then yes you will think you have a bad life. Those negative thoughts will consume you and you will miss out on the good points as you are sat waiting for the next bad thing to happen.

We can’t be happy all the time but we can be positive and we can flip those thoughts.

Fall down the stairs.

Negative thought… I’m gonna be in pain all day.

Positive thought…Wow I got down here quick.

Don’t let a bad 5 minutes in the day ruin that day and sometimes the rest of the week. Move on, learn from the mistake and improve yourself.

If you need help I’m here and there are many great hypnotherapists around the world that can help you. If it’s the past or your past learnings that’s holding you back. We can help with that too. We can’t change the past, but we can change how you think about it  how you let it affect you.

Change the way you talk to yourself, quiet down that critical voice in your head. You are in control of your thoughts.

Think positive, smile more and appreciate all that you have.

Have a great weekend

Jon XX

 

 

It’s nearly here.

Hi,

Welcome to this weeks blog. Guess what it’s about. anyone…. anyone…… Bueller?…. anyone? Ok I will tell you. It’s all about my weight loss programme launch. Well what a surprise.

Tomorrow I am launching my new weight loss programme All in Good Thyme. For those of you that follow me on Facebook will know that I have been promoting this a lot for the last week.  This programme has been in development for a while and has been getting some good results. varied but good. The main thing is that the clients who trialled it for me were happy. they all lost weight. some more so than others but they all lost.

So why did they lose different amounts if they were all following the same programme? Well it’s down to the individual client and how much they want it.  This programme doesn’t supply recipes to follow or exercise routines to carry out. What this programme does is changes your relationship with food, and how you see and feel about yourself.

I work on the principle that before you can deal with the issue, you must accept the issue and then make small changes to improve yourself.  This programme is not a quick fix. However done right it can be a permanent fix.

Puzzle

People often ask me the question ‘how can hypnosis actually help me lose weight?’ Here are 10 ways hypnosis can help you lose weight, and maintain your ideal weight thereafter.

  1. Hypnosis helps your subconscious mind take back the control over your eating habits. If you currently feel that food controls you and it needs to be the other way around then weight loss hypnosis will support you to achieve that goal.
  2. Clinical hypnosis for weight loss will help you increase your self esteem  so that you rely less on food for comfort. Weight loss hypnosis will help you to feel better about yourself and live a more confident life.
  3. If you find that you are an impulsive eater then hypnosis can create a mind trigger so that you stop, look and listen before eating.
  4. Weight loss hypnosis will help you to increase and maintain high levels of self motivation to lose weight so that you stay on track. Motivation can be a challenge for many looking to lose weight. Hypnosis can help ensure you remain enthused about your body transformation.
  5. Hypnosis for weight loss works with the ancillary issues including letting go of any past trauma that has lead you in turn to rely on food for comfort.
  6. Hypnotherapy and hypnosis for weight loss can increase your mojo to do more exercise. It is a struggle for many to get up each day and exercise. Hypnosis can be motivational and encourage you to do the exercise you choose.
  7. Weight loss hypnosis will help you for the long term because each day you can plant new suggestions into your subconscious mind that are tailored to your specific needs.
  8. Hypnosis will help you to control binge eating by delivering a strong suggestion that you are now back in control and food is no longer the boss.
  9. If you are driven and motivated by goals then hypnosis for weight loss will drive your focus to those goals. During weight loss hypnosis you can visualise and experience the goals mentally so that your excitement to achieve is heightened.
  10. Hypnosis for weight loss will increase your overall wellbeing, your recognition of self and your enthused determination to achieve the transformation you deserve.

You may have tried so many weight loss solutions and now recognise that losing weight is a mindset issue. Hypnosis is something you may want to now explore deeper.

This programme can work alongside traditional diets such as Slimming World, Weightwatchers, the Cambridge Diet and many others.

All in Good Thyme offers my Peace of mind guarantee this is a 12 month contact agreement where you as my client can contact me should you ever feel that you are slipping back to that dark place, and we work together to get you back to where you want to be.

Now if you are quick I am offering an early Bird discount of 25% off but only till the 1st. Follow this link to take advantage of this offer now.

I hope to see you on the journey.

Have a great week

Jon XX