Are you giving something up for Lent?

Hi Welcome back or if you have not been here before, where you been?

This week as it is the start of Lent I wanted to look at things that we could give up to improve our life. The difference is We are not going to give up till Easter. I am talking about giving up for good.

Since I became a hypnotherapist (Which I love by the way) I have many many people give up patterns of behavior, old fears and phobias, smoking and so much more, but the thing they gave up the most was the old way that they thought. They stopped allowing those old thoughts to dictate their lives today.

So if you could give up something for Lent, what would it be? Perhaps worrying about things that you can’t control, or overthinking, maybe you would like to give up that little voice inside your head that keeps putting you down. Whatever it is that you would like to give up or stop, hypnotherapy could be the answer.

I have a page on my website that answers a lot of questions about hypnotherapy Visit it here. and if you don’t get your answer there then please contact me. I am always more than happy to answer any questions.

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Now I’m not saying that hypnotherapy can help with everything, but it can help you think differently and because of that you will change your thoughts and you ways, your patterns of behavior etc.  Remember our brains are always listening to how we speak to ourselves. So if we say “only bad things happen to me” then of course bad things will happen, but good things will happen as well but you choose to forget that.

On the 1st of March I launched a confidence and low self esteem package.  I called in I Believe in Me. I called it that because if you have self belief you feel so much better about what’s going on around you. it is a 3 Session Package which not only includes confidence and Self Esteem hypnotherapy sessions but also PDFs to back up our sessions together along with a 12 month Peace of Mind contact agreement where you as my client can contact me should you ever feel that you are slipping back to that dark place, and we work together to get you back to where you want to be.

-butterflyIt’s your turn to fly.

Helping people is so rewarding and when they write an email or send a message saying just how much better they feel, it means so much. I have a testimonial Page   on my site, and I am pleased to say that so much of my business comes from recommendations. So if you are reading this and you have ever written a testimonial or recommended me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So if you want to give up something not just for lent but for good contact me or if you are not that close I have got to know many hypnotherapists from many different areas. I would be happy to recommend them.

It’s ok not to be ok. there are lots of us out here that want to help and are prepared to listen.

If you follow me on Facebook fb.me/adkin23 you may know that I’m posting some confidence tips this month If you don’t do facebook here are the first 6 tips.

  1. Smell Nice. Did you know that if you spray yourself with some nice fragrance or after shave. it not only makes you smell nice it can actually increase your confidence.
  2. Straighten up. When you sit don’t slump or slouch your shoulders, Sit up straight as it shows more confidence in your own thoughts.
  3. Be nice to yourself. If that little monkey voice inside your head tells you are not good enough replace it with a positive compliment and even if you did make a mistake, well just learn from your mistake and continue.
  4. You do You. Stop comparing yourself to others. be happy with who and what you are, and if you want to make changes, you make the changes for you not to be the same as someone else.
  5. Don’t be a victim of negative self talk Our brains are always listening so be careful how you speak to yourself.
  6. Deal with failure. I’ve failed over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.

So that brings you up to date. I will add more tips in the next blog along with some more advice on how you can feel more confident.

Until next time Stay strong and continue to stay positive.

I wish you all the very best.

NameXX

 

 

 

What you got planned?

Hi

Well that was a quick month, or is it just me. January lasted 3 months, February lasted a couple of weeks. Well that’s how it feels.  Anyway I digress (posh word for me) What have you got planned for March, anything exciting ?

I am launching a new confidence and Self Esteem package. It’s something I’ve been putting together for a while now and at last I now feel it’s ready to let loose on you.

I have called it I believe in Me. because I know that by the end of the sessions you will be full of self belief and confidence. Here are some more details.

I believe in me.

A 3 session Confidence and Self Esteem package £199

A 3 Session Package which not only includes confidence and Self Esteem hypnotherapy sessions but also PDFs to back up our sessions together along with a 12 month Peace of Mind contact agreement where you as my client can contact me should you ever feel that you are slipping back to that dark place, and we work together to get you back to where you want to be.

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Also in March I aim to give confidence tips on my Facebook page and here in my blog. I am a great believer in if you feel confident you can handle most situations that you come up against.

One tip I will share with you now is to think well of yourself. We all make mistakes and we all feel that perhaps we didn’t do well enough. However what we tend to forget is all the good things we have done, how we have helped others, how we made others smile or feel happy. If you take a moment and just recall just some of the good things that you have achieved, it will make you feel better about yourself.

Fall a little more in love with your life today.

Often times we aren’t confident because we aren’t in love with the lives that we are living. We’re in jobs we don’t love, relationships that aren’t great, and doing too much for others. We aren’t proud of ourselves. Do one thing that you’re really proud of yourself for today. Book a massage, say no to something you truly don’t want to do, block off an hour of “you” time.

Unplug yourself from your phone do it everyday for at least an hour. then slowly increase the time. It feels quite liberating

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So that’s my plans, oh and I need new glasses and I really don’t know what type to get. I go into the opticians try on various styles then realise that because I’ve taken off my glasses I actually can’t see clearly what the new ones look like, and no I’m not gonna stand there and take a selfie 🙂

I wish you all the very best and thank you for taking the time to read my blog.

Enjoy the last few days of February and I will see you in March.

Take care.

NameXX

Love you and others will follow suit.

Hi, This week I’m going to carry on with my help and advice guide for Self Esteem. I can’t stress enough that you need to love and accept yourself before others will love you.  I have problems feeling valued if I am not valued by others. Being loved by others certainly does not hinder your self esteem. Might be more healthy if you are able to love yourself internally though. You need a reservoir of self-love to fall back on.

Learn to be assertive

  • Practise saying no. It could help to pause, take a breath and consider how you feel before agreeing to do something you don’t want to.
  • Give it time. Being assertive can feel difficult if you’re not used to it, but it can feel liberating – and it gets easier the more you do it.
  • Don’t take too much on. It’s ok to set boundaries around how much you do for other people. Over-stretching yourself to please others can drain your energy and affect your wellbeing.

The thing that has helped me the most has been learning to ignore other people’s opinions and expectations. I get to decide what’s important for me and my life and where to focus my energy/time. It wasn’t always that way. I tried too hard to please others and always wanted their approval or acceptance.

Set yourself a challenge

  • Do things you enjoy. You could take up a hobby, learn something new, do a creative activity or simply take the time to read a book or go for a walk.
  • Try volunteering. You might decide to volunteer your time for something you feel passionate about. For more information on volunteering,
  • Set small goals, such as trying a recipe, learning the days of the week in a new language or simply looking for information on something you’d like to do.

Try to do one thing that pushes you slightly … doesn’t matter if big or small … just something that makes you feel like you’re making progress. Don’t beat yourself up. Just allow yourself time to gradually build up your self-belief again

  • Do something for yourself every day. Try to get into the habit of doing something to be kind to yourself or look after yourself.
  • Let yourself have fun. Remember you don’t have to be perfect at something to enjoy doing it.

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So how can we help raise our self esteem?

To boost your self-esteem, you need to identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself, then challenge them. You may tell yourself you’re “too stupid” to apply for a new job, for example, or that “nobody cares” about you.Start to note these negative thoughts and write them down on a piece of paper or in a diary. Ask yourself when you first started to think these thoughts. Next, start to write down evidence that challenges these negative beliefs: “I’m really good at cryptic crosswords” or “My sister calls for a chat every week”. Write down other positive things about yourself, such as “I’m thoughtful” or “I’m a great cook” or “I’m someone that others trust”.

Also write down good things that other people say about you.

Aim to have at least 5 things on your list and add to it regularly. Then put your list somewhere you can see it. That way, you can keep reminding yourself that you’re OK.

“You might have low confidence now because of what happened when you were growing up,” says Professor Williams. “But we can grow and develop new ways of seeing ourselves at any age.”

Other ways to improve low self-esteem

Here are some other simple techniques that may help you feel better about yourself.

Recognise what you’re good at

We’re all good at something, whether it’s cooking, singing, doing puzzles or being a friend. We also tend to enjoy doing the things we’re good at, which can help boost your mood.

Build positive relationships

If you find certain people tend to bring you down, try to spend less time with them, or tell them how you feel about their words or actions.

Seek out relationships with people who are positive and who appreciate you.

Be kind to yourself

Professor Williams advises: “Be compassionate to yourself. That means being gentle to yourself at times when you feel like being self-critical.

“Think what you’d say to a friend in a similar situation. We often give far better advice to others than we do to ourselves.”

Start saying ‘no’

People with low self-esteem often feel they have to say yes to other people, even when they don’t really want to.

Visit me. I’ve bounced back from having a lack of confidence and low self esteem. I can help you do the same.

Until next time.

Have a great week and believe in yourself.

NameXX

How is your self Esteem?

Hi How are we all doing? I promised at the tail end of last year that I’m going to start using this blog and my Facebook page  to help with certain conditions or emotions etc. Well today I’m going to start doing that.

I want to start with self esteem. I’m starting with this one as it’s very close to me heart. Way back when I lost a lot of self esteem due to illness, and it was due to self hypnosis that I regained my self esteem and my own self belief.  That is why I am now a full time hypnotherapist and that is also why I want to share some tips that helped me.

So what is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves. It’s based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves, which can sometimes feel really difficult to change.

Your self-esteem can affect whether you:

  • like and value yourself as a person. Do you?
  • are able to make decisions and assert yourself. Can you?
  • recognise your strengths and positives. Do you think positive about yourself?
  • feel able to try new or difficult things. Are you scared to?
  • show kindness towards yourself. Do you do this?
  • move past mistakes without blaming yourself unfairly. It’s not easy.
  • take the time you need for yourself. Sp many of us don’t do this.
  • believe you matter and are good enough. Of course you are good enough.
  • believe you deserve happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy.

For me, building self-esteem was about learning what self-esteem was in the first place. It was unlearning what I had learned about myself … I went back to self-school and learned all about me.

What can cause low self-esteem?

The things that affect our self-esteem differs for everyone. Your self-esteem might change suddenly, or you might have had low self-esteem for a while – which might make it hard to recognise how you feel and make changes.

Difficult or stressful life experiences can often be a factor, such as:

  • being bullied or abused
  • experiencing prejudice, discrimination or stigma
  • losing your job or difficulty finding employment
  • problems at work or while studying
  • ongoing stress
  • physical health problems. This was my change point.
  • mental health problems
  • relationship problems, separation or divorce
  • worries about your appearance and body image
  • problems with money or housing.

You might have had some of these experiences, and you might also have had difficulties that aren’t listed here. Or there might not be one particular cause.

My self esteem has almost disappeared…. I don’t know how to interact with people anymore and find it hard to enjoy the things that I like

Whatever has affected your self-esteem, it’s important to remember that you have the right to feel good about who you are. It might feel as if changing things will be difficult, but there are lots of things you can try to improve things bit by bit.

So how can I improve my self-esteem?

This blog has some tips and suggestions for improving your self-esteem.

Some people may find these ideas useful, but remember that different things work for different people at different times. Only try what you feel comfortable with, and try not to put too much pressure on yourself. If something isn’t working for you (or doesn’t feel possible just now), you can try something else, or come back to it another time.

Some peoples just presume [their dislike of themselves] was a part of who they are … It is only when you realise that your self-esteem doesn’t have to be negative so start challenging your own ideas about yourself.

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Be kind to yourself

  • Get to know yourself. Try to learn more about yourself – for example what makes you happy and what you value in life. Some people say they find it helpful to write in a journal.
  • Let yourself have feelings. It’s important to remember that you’re a human being who can experience a wide range of emotions.
  • Consider what self-esteem means to you. You might realise you’re basing your sense of self-worth on things that aren’t useful or helpful for you.

Realising that I can change my ideas about what I base my self-esteem on has helped. I can’t do what I used to, but I can be the kind of person I want to be and now that seems more important to me

  • Try to challenge unkind thoughts about yourself. You might automatically put yourself down. If you find yourself doing this, it can help to ask: “Would I talk to, or think about, a friend in this way?”
  • Avoid comparing yourself to others. Try to remember that what other people choose to share about their lives isn’t the full picture and comparing ourselves isn’t realistic.
  • Say positive things to yourself. It might feel really strange at first, but you’ll feel more comfortable the more you do it.

I’ve come to realise that people get to choose what they present about themselves online … In reality, no one’s life is perfect and everyone has insecurities, and it’s important to remember this in order to not feel bad about yourself every time you see somebody post the ‘perfect’ selfie

Look after yourself

  • Try to get enough sleep. Getting too little or too much sleep can have a big impact on how you feel.
  • Think about your diet. Eating regularly and keeping your blood sugar stable can make a difference to your mood and energy levels.
  • Try to do some physical activity. Exercise can be really helpful for your mental wellbeing and some people find it helps improve their self-esteem.
  • Spend time outside. Spending time in green space can help your wellbeing.

Taking a few minutes for myself each day can really help me feel better.

Try to notice the good things

  • Celebrate your successes. No matter how small they may seem, take time to praise yourself and notice what you did well. It could also help to remember past successes.
  • Accept compliments. You could make a note of them to look over when you’re feeling low or doubting yourself.
  • Ask people what they like about you. It’s likely that they see you differently to how you see yourself.

That’s made a start and I will continue with self esteem in my next blog. but as it is valentines day this week. the best piece of advice I want to give you is

Love yourself first.

Till next time

Best wishes.

NameXX

Our thoughts can ruin us, and friendships.

Ok so this week I upset a very good friend. They thought I was insinuating something where as actually I was concerned. However their thoughts and now mine have escalated the tension. It got me thinking about points of view and how you look can look at things and overthink them and then make 2 + 2 = 6.

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Perspective is the way individuals see the world. It comes from their personal point of view and is shaped by life experiences, values, their current state of mind, the assumptions they bring into a situation, and a whole lot of other things. Reality can be different things. It can be difficult to step outside of your world and see things from someone else’s point of view, but it is beneficial! By looking at things from a different perspective, you can gain new insight into problems and improve your social interactions. Collect different types of experiences, such as by travelling, reading, and talking with people. Then, work on building empathy for other people. With persistence, seeing things from different points of view will become much easier for you!

Listen to other people carefully. Immersing yourself in someone else’s story or experiences while talking one-on-one is another great way to experience a different point of view. When you talk with other people, listen closely. Make sure to listen even if you don’t share their perspective and disagree with what they have to say.

  • Make eye contact and face the person while they are talking. (Not easy if texting I know)
  • Ask them questions if anything they say is unclear to you.
  • Let them know you are listening by rephrasing or echoing what they say now and then.

Respect people’s differences. Recognising that not everyone shares your beliefs and values may help you to see things differently. Whenever you interact with someone else, take a moment to remind yourself that they may not share your worldview, and that is okay. This may make it easier for you to gain new perspective from your interactions with them.

  • For example, you might have a coworker who performs a specific task different than you do. Their approach might be very different, but still effective.
  • Or, you might have a classmate whose family observes a different religion than your family, so their holiday celebrations might be nothing like your family’s celebrations.

 

Read or watch videos about other people’s experiences. Exposing yourself to other people’s personal experiences through books, articles, blogs, and videos may help you to gain insight into what it is like to be another person. Try reading or watching videos about people who are different from you to expose yourself to a totally new perspective.

  • For example, you can read biographies, watch documentaries, or read/watch interviews with people who are from different countries, ethnic backgrounds, religions, or political parties.

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Learn the difference between empathy and sympathy. Although these words sound similar and their meanings are often confused, they are quite different. Sympathy means that you feel sorry for someone or pity them. Empathy means that you have put yourself into the other person’s situation and considered how they must feel.

  • For example, you might feel sympathy for a homeless person on the street because their situation seems unpleasant. However, if you feel empathy for this person, you would have imagined what it is like to sleep on the hard concrete, wear the same clothes each day, beg people for money to buy food, and worry about your safety day after day.

Think about how you would feel in another person’s situation. If you meet or hear about someone who has experienced a hardship, imagine how you would feel in that person’s situation as a way to build empathy for them and gain a new perspective. How might you feel if you had gone through a similar experience? Why might you feel that way? What might you do to cope with the experience?

Aim to treat others how you would like to be treated. Thinking about how you would want someone to talk to you or help you if you were in their situation may also help you to develop empathy and understand other people’s perspectives better. Imagine what someone could say or do to help you feel better if you were in that situation, then act accordingly.

  • This may be as simple as acknowledging someone’s pain and offering to help in any way you can. For example, if someone has just experienced the death of their family pet, then they might appreciate it if you said, “I’m so sorry for your loss. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Imagine that someone said or did something mean-spirited to you. Considering the worst-case scenario may also help you to see someone else’s perspective. Think about what someone could say or do to really hurt you. Then, use this experience to help you understand the hurt feelings that someone else has experienced. This will help you to build empathy and expand your perspective.

  • For example, if someone called you an insulting name, how might you feel? What would your reaction be? Use these feelings to help you understand how someone who is different from you might feel and react if they were treated poorly.

So the bottom line I started it and then because of our state of minds we verbally assaulted each other and both said some hurtful things.

I apologised but the damage is done. I’m not washing my dirty linen in public. I’m telling you this because of two very different points of view I have possibly lost a good friend.

learn from my mistake. Think before you say or in this case text something, and if you still feel that you are in the right, stop and look at it from the other persons point of view. Could your intention be misconstrued.

Have a great week

NameXX