Are you ready for your upgrade?

Welcome back.

Are you ready for an upgrade? Do you think you may not need it? What age are you 21, 35, 57 68? Whatever age you are that is how old the software that you are running on is. Would you use a computer or a phone with old struggling software. No of course not. So yes you are ready for a upgrade and a reboot.

Change is something everyone grapples with–whether it’s kicking a bad habit, coming up with new and original ideas, shifting a business focus, changing behaviors, changing company culture, or trying to change the world. Certainly the ability to create or manage change is a key issue for every business, because if you can’t get out in front of it, and even lead it, it may not be long before you’re at the back of the pack.

The question, of course, is how?

I’m ready for an upgrade.

The answer begins with recognizing that change at any level requires at least some dose of refreshing and resetting the brain. The good news is that neuroscience now confirms that you can effectively and sustainably do just that with a few proven steps that center on thinking, because when you change the way you think, you actually (chemically) change the connections in your brain.

Pointing the way is a successful non-drug behavior therapy developed by neuropsychiatrists working with the UCLA School of Medicine for patients suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), which is perhaps the most locked up form of behavior. The method centers on a mindful thinking approach and entails four basic steps that result in a reset brain and changed behavior.

  1. Relabel
    The first step is to relabel a given thought, feeling, or behavior as something else. An unwanted thought could be relabeled “false message” or “brain glitch.” This amounts to training yourself to clearly recognize and identify what is real and what isn’t, refusing to be tricked by your own thoughts. You step back and say, “This is just my brain playing games on me.”
  2. Reattribute
    The second step answers the question, “Why do these thoughts coming back?” The answer is that the brain is misfiring, stuck in gear, creating mental noise, and sending false messages. In other words, if you understand why you’re getting those old thoughts, eventually you’ll be able to say, “Oh, that’s just a brain glitch.” That raises the natural next question: What can you do about it?
  3. Refocus
    The third step is where the toughest work is, because it’s where behavior actually changes. You have to do another behavior instead of the old one. Having recognized the problem for what it is and why it’s occurring, you now have to replace the old behavior with new things to do–positive, desirable things, things you enjoy doing and can do consistently every time. This is where the change in brain chemistry occurs, because you are creating new patterns, new mindsets. By refusing to be misled by the old messages, by understanding they aren’t what they tell you they are, your mind is now the one in charge of your brain.

This is basically like shifting the gears of your car manually–your automatic transmission isn’t working, so you have to manually override it. The more you do it, the smoother the shifting becomes, eventually refurbishing the entire gearbox. Like most other things, the more you practice, the more easy and natural it becomes.

  1. Revalue
    It all comes together in the fourth step, which is the natural outcome of the first three. With a consistent way to replace the old behavior with the new, you begin to see old patterns as simple distractions. You devalue them as being completely worthless. Eventually the old thoughts begin to fade in intensity, the brain works better, and you no longer feel the tug of that pesky habit.

If these four steps are effective in rewiring and resetting the brain of an OCD sufferer, think what they can do to help you lead whatever change or win whatever challenge you may be facing.

Let it go.

HOW TO REBOOT YOUR BAD DAY
We all have them – bad days – and they can take over so much so that we cannot focus on anything. A bad day can turn into a bad week and then a bad month – snowballing to the point that there seems like no return. Reboot your bad day now!
Knowing how to reboot your day so that you can literally start over is a great trick to learn. Your bad day needn’t ruin your life.
Here is how you can reboot your bad day and start afresh:

  1. DELEGATE
    For some this is easy, but for others they feel that doing it themselves is far easier than outsourcing. But, in hindsight, which is where we generally realise we should have asked for help, seeking to share our tasks is the only way to go.
    Speak to colleagues who can help, look to outsourcing parts of our work, and free up your time. A nice start to reboot your bad day.
  2. STOP DOING WHATEVER IT IS THAT STARTED THE BAD DAY
    Walk away from the issue, even if just for a moment. Go do anything else that brings you joy. Even a few minutes is good enough to right your mood, set your mind in a clearer mode, and help you to deal with the issue at hand.
  3. DEAL WITH PERSONAL ISSUES QUICKLY
    Any personal problem can plague your mind to the point that you won’t be able to do a good job on anything else. Rather deal with it – although we understand that it may not be a quick fix, but addressing it, acknowledging it, and putting a pin in it, can help you to carry on with your day in a more positive light.
  4. SPEAK TO SOMEONE
    Often just having a chat with a close friend or family member can help you to overcome a dull and troublesome day. Reach out to someone and see if they can help you get over the issues and reboot your bad day.
  5. STICK TO YOURSELF
    Contrary perhaps, given our previous point, but most times all you need is to be alone with your thoughts. Take a minute or two to meditate, or even just sit in silence, and try to remove all the negative thoughts from your mind. Whatever the issue is, it will still be there afterwards, but with a clear mind you may be able to deal with it better.

If you need help to reboot I’m launching my new package next week. Update & Reboot. A way to declutter the mind and make you feel better about yourself.

Visit my website for more details.

Until next week, thank you for reading.

Have a great week

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Do you need an upgrade?

Hi, welcome back.

This week I want to blog about upgrading and rebooting. How often are we asked to upgrade our Phone, or tablet, and computer. Nowadays we live in a world that we have to constantly update the intelligent things around us. However the one thing that we do not upgrade is ourselves.

Think about it, when our computers upgrade the software, the first thing they ask us is do we want to delete orphaned or unused files. We are asked, do we want to remove unused programs, would we like to store duplicate files.

Now of course, we tend to do what the computer asks us, as we feel sure that it knows best. What happens when you don’t update or reboot your computer? Well, the first thing you will notice is that it starts to slow down, it takes ages for it too start up properly, it seems to take an age to search for either a piece of software that you know he’s on the computer, or perhaps a file or picture, that you know is there but it is taking a long time to find it. Another thing you may notice is that when you have a few programs open, the computer really struggles completing the jobs that you asking it to do.

How about our phones and tablets. So often now we get told there is a new update, and what do we do, we updated it. Not even questioning why we need to update it. The Phone or tablet was working fine, you didn’t see any need for updating, but the makers of the Phone or tablet Want you to update so that their product is working at the best for you.

So why am I talking about updating a Phone or a computer? I’m talking about this because we don’t update or reboot the most important thing to us. Our mind.

Let’s reboot.

Think about what I’ve just said above, if you are 18, 32, 47 or 55 that is how old your software is, don’t get me wrong it’s a brilliant piece of software. It knows everything that you have ever seen smelt or touched. It keeps a record of every person you have ever met, every place you have ever been, Every word you’ve ever heard. However it also keeps record of every mistake you’ve ever made, every put down you have ever heard, every injustice you have had to suffer.    

Now, contrary to belief no one is perfect. We all make mistakes and the best we can do is learn from them and move on from them, but the put downs any injustices tend to stay with us and in the worst case scenario we start to believe them. So with all that going on in our head it’s no wonder that just like our computers we start to slow down, we find it harder to multifunction, we can’t recall someone’s name perhaps as quick as we used to be able to. So like our electronic gadgets we need to update and reboot.

Just like a software update, we need to delete some old files, we need to File away those old injustices, put downs, guilts, hurts and anything else that you no longer need. We can do this, we can’t erase the past not that we would want to, but we can change our thinking, we can change the way we allow a past memory to affect us.  

When we born we didn’t have fears or anxieties, we didn’t have the weight of the world on our shoulders. We have learnt those behaviours, and if we have leant them we can unlearn them.

We all have and need a level of stress inside us, that is perfectly normal. However once that level is exceeded, and that happens very quickly, our mind starts to work overtime and never really settles down, which causes us to worry unnecessarily or over think situations that we have no control over.

It’s our thoughts that are letting us down, and we can’t have an emotion without having a thought first, and so the circle begins, and slowly but surely our mind fills up with a load of information that  we no longer need.

So what can we do? Well we can’t change the past we know that. What we can do is learn from the mistakes that were our fault, If the mistakes were not our fault we stop worrying as we have no control over them. If you were put down or made to not feel good enough. STOP! Think about today, the here and now. You’re here, you survived and you’re doing ok. What’s past is past. We can’t change it, so we learn from it and we make the most of what we have.

Coming Soon

Some people need help to move on from the past, that is why from the 1st of March I’m offering a new package. Update & Reboot 2020. An affordable way to rewire your brain. A way you can file away or delete all those unused memories. Clear a load of those learnt behaviours that no longer serve you, such as fears, phobias, hurts, griefs etc etc.

How does it work? I’m a hypnotherapist and by letting your subconscious know that you want to move on, you no longer what to hold on to those feelings, your subconscious will, with your help let those feelings go. Your subconscious knows what you need to let go of to make those changes that you want. So all you have to do is relax and let your body and your mind do the rest.

I’m excited with this new package. I’ve been trialling it now for a while and the results have been fantastic.  So now it’s time to make it available to you. If you are ready for an update and a reboot message me. I would love to help. It launches the 1st March and my website www.jonadkin.com from next week will have all the final details.

I look forward to hearing and hopefully working with you.

Until next week.

Have a great week.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Self-Love it’s not selfish. It’s important.

Hi welcome to my Valentine’s Blog.

My Valentines YouTube message.

If you are with your ideal partner today, or with your soul mate, congratulations. Be happy. However, if you are alone today and it doesn’t matter If you are recently separated, or if you have been unattached for a long time. You might want to ask yourself why you are alone. I see many people at my practice who really don’t like themselves. When they look in the mirror of a morning in some cases, they really do not like the person looking back at them.

If you feel like this, if you don’t like yourself, then how can you expect others to like or more importantly, love you. You must love yourself first, before others will love you. Self-love is not conceited, it’s important. If you don’t like yourself, if you don’t love yourself others around you will feel that negativity.  Our Moods are infectious, our body language and our actions, express so much of how we are feeling.

If you have gone out reluctantly with friends, and you just stand there and moan or you don’t join in conversations your mood will soon spread amongst your friends. If you are all doom and gloom, your friends will soon stop asking you to join them on nights out. Look at the bigger picture. If you was to walk into a pub, And there were some friends to the right looking unhappy and all moaning about the weather order price of bread, And there is another group of friends to the left all smiling and laughing and joking. What group would you join? Of course, you would join the happy cheerful group. You don’t want a night out and feel miserable and down. So, you see how you feel about yourself is important, not only to yourself but also to those around you, positivity attracts positivity and negativity attacks negativity. So, unless you want to drown in negativity start to change how you feel about yourself.

Before you can receive love and respect from others, you need to love and respect yourself. Some people equate self-love with selfishness. But that isn’t true , when you think this way it becomes hard to take care of yourself, so delete that limiting belief from your mind and create a new belief that says to yourself it’s OK to put my needs first. The good news is, when you love yourself fully you become a better version of yourself. Love attracts love so you are drawn to give to others, and you will have the energy to give and in turn receive the love that you want.

Self-love is important for numerous reasons. It has a profound impact on how we see ourselves and how we treat ourselves. Everyone needs self-love. While it’s great to be on the receiving end of love from others it’s also important to practice self-love daily. Self-love motivates you to make healthy choices in life. When you believe in yourself when you hold yourself in high esteem you are more likely to choose things that nurture you and your wellbeing. By that I mean healthy eating exercising or having a healthy relationship. By doing these things you expressed love for yourself and you showing life as being the best version of you.

Self-love is important also when it comes to setting boundaries in relationship. Having a clear understanding of what your boundaries are and being able to set them communicates that you value yourself. As a result, you’re more likely to have a more loving relationship. Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for the relationship you have with others. When you treat yourself with love and respect you give others permission to do the same.

Without self-love, you drastically decrease your ability to be successful at anything. I have seen first-hand a lack of self-love end someone’s career and any chances for success. How many highly successful people do you think look in the mirror every day and say, ‘I hate myself’. Without self-love you drastically decrease your ability to be successful at anything. Failed businesses, relationships, friendships, all for the lack of self-love. When you have self-love, you understand who you are at the very core of your being, and you accept who you are with all the flaws. Self-acceptance has, over and over again, been shown to be a key indicator of success. Self-love is the next step after self-acceptance imagine how vital it is for the success of true happiness or any aspect of your life. The process of achieving self-love may look different for each person but there are some key steps that everyone needs to take.

Figure out what you’re good at and what you’re not. Don’t kill yourself trying to get rid of weaknesses understand that no one is good at everything and work on improving your strengths.

Eliminate toxic relationships. The road to loving yourself is going to be extremely bumpy if you are trying to get there with a toxic person in your life.

Get rid of that sinking thinking. Find ways that work for you to challenge your inner critic and eliminate negative self-talk

Move forward with authenticity. If you are a place in life where you have to hide parts of yourself to get along, make the necessary changes so that you can be your true authentic self everywhere you go. If you can’t do that at work, find a new job. It takes way too much energy to wear a mask every day.

Treat yourself well. Take time to appreciate yourself. Congratulate yourself on a job well done. Have a great meal, go do something fun. Once you find your sense of self and become more self-aware and developed through self-love, opportunities will present themselves.

The only thing standing between you and your success and happiness is yourself. Go get some self-love you deserve it.

I think self-love is critical. I believe it is hard to love others well when you do not take the time to understand who you are and embrace your story. So many relationships are unhealthy and unbalanced because individuals are seeking others to make them complete.

No one is responsible for their own happiness but themselves. Too often we put others needs before our own. You can still please others but make time for yourself and it is by practicing self-love that you can find that healthy balance. So, do it now do it before it’s too late love and accept yourself and then allow others to love and accept you. I wish you every success

until next week. Have a great week and take care.

Best wishes

Jon X

Jon Adkin BAHyp Hypnotherapist.

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You Tube, Facebook and Instagram.

It’s not how you change, it’s why!

Hi welcome to this week’s blog

recently in my Facebook posts, I have been asking the question it’s not how you change its why you want to change. This question hit home with a lot of my clients, it made people think, it made people question themselves. So, if you thought about it and you needed to change why is it that you need to change?

For me back in my 30s I used hypnotherapy because after suffering a lot of illness I had lost not only my confidence but also my self-worth. I didn’t want to sit down on the sofa all day watching bad television, I wanted to regain that confidence that self-belief that I once had. For me not only did hypnotherapy help me get back my confidence and my self-worth it took me beyond where I  wanted to be. 

So, my why, was realising that I had survived those illnesses and I now wanted to grab life with both hands and enjoy it.

Why do you want to change?

So, ask yourself what is your why for wanting to change your life for the better. Perhaps you have been suffering from anxiety and been living a long time behind a mask. For whatever reason you have now decided to step out from behind that mask, perhaps you will once put down, insulted or made to feel not good enough. However, now you know you are good enough you always were good enough you just didn’t believe it.

There are many reasons why someone wants to change, there are many ways how people can change, you have to find your how and your why that suits you best.

I used hypnotherapy because I wanted to get to the root of the problem, I knew the problem was the way I was thinking about myself, I knew it but the problem was my mindset, And I knew I had to change.

So take a moment now think of your why, make sure that is what you want and not because someone has asked you to change or someone has told you to change. Hypnotherapy is brilliant for making those changes however you must want to change.

Let me give you some examples of why you may want to change.

You may be looking to get a new job and perhaps you lack the confidence for that new position. Perhaps, you feel that you’re missing out, perhaps going out with friends or for a meal because you felt that really, your friends didn’t want you there. You may have been in a controlling relationship and have constantly been undermined. Or do you constantly worry or overthink about things that you can’t control? Can you not take praise when it’s given? Do you worry about being in large crowns? Do you have a fear or phobia that stops you socialising? The list is endless.

There are so many reasons why people want to change there are many reasons why people need to change, but only you will know when the time is right for you. When the time is right, and you will know when it’s right, that’s when change can happen.

our subconscious remembers everything you have ever seen, felt, heard or smelt. A lot of that information we no longer need to hold onto, those feelings, those thoughts are what’s holding you back.

When it comes to making changes in life, it is often easier to talk about them rather than make them.  The first step is always the most difficult one. But one doesn’t have to do something as radical as moving to a new country; even small changes might be quite beneficial, and, who knows, some minor steps might further lead to huge leaps. 

Changing a hairstyle and outfit might be very useful and rewarding. The appearance is the physical reflection of one’s inner self and mood. Always wanted to have a short haircut and dye hair violet but never had the courage to do so? Well, just do it. Instead of overthinking it’s worth taking some action and do something you’ve ever wanted to do. The same goes with clothes. It’s worth trying different outfits and expressing one’s personality in such a way.

Changes in life help us move forward and become better professionals and better personalities, and that’s why even small variations in life can make us look at others and yourself differently and can bring us joy and life satisfaction.

When done reading this blog. I want you to grab a pen and paper and write down five reasons why you would like to change. Oi, come back. I said do it after reading this blog. By writing things down it makes it real, and when you read those five reasons back you can start thinking about the advantages of making those changes. When you have those advantages write them down also. Now you have two lists one saying why and the other one showing you why. Those lists can become your goals, achievable goals, and once you’ve reached those goals you may challenge yourself and set some higher goals.

Sometimes, you will be able to achieve your goals without any outside help. Start by talking to yourself as if you are your own best friend. Give yourself the advice that you would pass onto your best friend. Start to accept yourself as you are, and then make the changes that you want.

Hypnotherapy was my how. I knew hypnotherapy couldn’t change the past, but it can change the way you allow it to affect you. Content free hypnotherapy can help release the injustices, the hurt, the put downs, the grief and so much more. Allowing you to think more positively not only about yourself but for your future as well.

If you would like to know more about Hypnotherapy, contact me for a chat. If you’re not local to me, I am sure I could put you in contact with a hypnotherapist in your area. I’ve got to know many good therapists all over the country.

Until next time. Have a great week.

Best wishes

Jon x

Jon Adkin BAHyp Hypnotherapist

Based in Suffolk, covering Cambridge, Suffolk and Essex.

Author of ‘Can i Change?’ Available from amazon.

Find Jon on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.

Unplug that negative energy

Hi Welcome to this weeks blog. This week I want to talk about energy. Specifically negativity energy and kinetic energy.

Kinetic energy for those of you that are not sure is the energy of motion, observable as the movement of an object, particle, or set of particles. Any object in motion is using kinetic energy: a person walking, a thrown baseball, a crumb falling from a table, and a charged particle in an electric field are all examples of kinetic energy at work.

Kinetic energy can be defined as the energy which is present in every moving object. We can simply say that kinetic energy is the energy because of motion. Kinetic energy can be further classified into various types based on the type of motion of the objects. For example, rotational kinetic energy is the energy possessed by a body which is moving in circles, e.g. planets revolving around the sun have rotational kinetic energy; vibrational kinetic energy is the energy possessed by an object due to vibration, e.g. vibrating phone has a vibrational kinetic energy; translational kinetic energy is the energy possessed by an object moving from one point to another. Translational kinetic energy can be easily observed in our everyday life.

When walking or running, we possess some amount of kinetic energy. This is why we feel comparatively warm while running or after walking some distance. Sweat is the result of the heat produced by our body due to running. While walking or running, there is a conversion of chemical energy into kinetic energy.

So basically we are energy but what about the negative energy. Well we don’t want it, we don’t need it, so get rid of it.

As a hypnotherapist I see many people who say only bad things happen to me, or I’m surrounded by miserable, negative people. Do you know why that is? It is because you are sending out negative vibes. You are choosing to ignore all the good things going on around you and just focusing on all the bad things. 

If that is how you feel, you will continue to attract people feeling the same way as you, because negativity attracts negativity. You cannot hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life. Walk away from anything that gives you a bad vibe. There is no need to explain or make sense of it. It’s your life. Do what makes you happy.

Turn your day from a negative to a positive. Even how you respond is a great way to start.

Here 11 everyday phrases can easily be replaced, giving your vocabulary an instant positivity boost.

Every Day Positive Language

1. Why not? → Sounds good

2. No problem → Definitely!

3. Can’t complain → Everything’s going well, thanks

These phrases are meant to be positive – but the human brain has a negative bias, and subconsciously brings up all of the reasons not to do something, problems, or complains when processing these words.

4. I’m exhausted → I need to rest

Flipping the phrase to include a solution leaves both the speaker and the listener with a better taste in their mouths.

Positive Language at Work

5. I forgot → I’ll make sure to set a reminder

Again, focusing on what can be done will help the people around you expect a positive result.

6. Unfortunately, it will be impossible to finish the project on time because of the problems some people are causing with submitting their work late. → Can everyone turn in their portion of the project by Thursday so that we can complete the work on time and hit the deadline?

Email culture provides the perfect opportunity to work on positive language, as you can edit your words before sending them out to colleagues and clients. Look out for negative words like “unfortunately,” “impossible” and “problems” as flags for sentences to revise.

7. Constructive criticism → Feedback

The words you use to frame your feedback can have a significant impact on how it is received. To add to the positive vibe, healthy portions of compliments for achievements will help your colleagues take your comments on board.

Positive Language at Home

8. Don’t throw the ball inside! → Please take the ball outside.  Or

9. Don’t … → I like it when..

Telling children (and adults, too!) what you want them to do rather than what you don’t want them to do puts the focus on the desired action and ups your chances of a positive outcome.

10. I missed you so much! → It’s so great to see you!

While absence certainly does make the heart grow fonder, reunions can be a time to rejoice in the present rather than relating negative emotions from the past.

11. No! → I know you like ice cream, but eating too much isn’t healthy.

Unless you’re dealing with a serious safety issue, for example near a road or a swimming pool, explaining the reason behind your “no” helps children feel respected and included. As a guide, think about how you’d like your boss to speak to you.

Do you see what I’m saying, replace the negative words with a more positive approach.

If you come out of your bedroom and fall down the stairs. Don’t say “Oh that’s a greatstart to the day.”

No, you say ”Boy, I’ve never got down the stairs that quick before.” And smile that you were not hurt.

As a hypnotherapist I can help you release that negativity out of your system, We hold on to so much that no longer serves us.  Let’s do that mental detox. When you are ready contact me for a chat.

In the mean time. Stay positive and smile more.

Until next week, have a good one

Jon x

Jon Adkn BAHyp Hypnotherapist.

Hypnotherapist based in Suffolk, serving Suffolk, Cambridge and Essex.

Author of ‘Can I Change?’ A self help guide for anxiety.