Where did that come from?

7 Hi.

Welcome back. This week I want to blog about our wonderful powerful subconscious mind.  As a hypnotherapist this is the part of you that I speak to. The part that wants to keep you safe and happy.  That’s it’s only job because if your safe. it lives. and did you know the subconscious is 90% of your brain.  Here are some more facts that you may not have known.

  1. The subconscious mind records everything. No matter if you are awake or asleep.
  2. The subconscious mind is always alert and awake. even if you fall asleep it listens.
  3. The subconscious mind controls 95% of your life.
  4. The subconscious mind is built on habituation.
  5. The Preconscious mind lives in the present. There is only now.
  6. It takes everything literally.
  7. The subconscious mind speaks to you in your dreams.
  8. The subconscious mind has no verbal language.
  9. The subconscious mind controls all involuntary bodily functions like breathing, salivating, circulation and digestion but you already knew that. You don’t consciously choose to digest your food. It just happens because subconscious processes are working.
  10. The subconscious mind is the file cabinet of all your memories. Through those memories, your subconscious mind determines how you respond to life and make decisions.
  11. Ignorance of what the subconscious mind does is the reason we have such a hard time with troublesome thoughts and feelings.
  12. Act naturally. Stop believing your negative thoughts and feelings shouldn’t be there. Thinking that what’s happening shouldn’t happen is one of those mind-boggling attempts at denial, a frustrating self-flagellation. They shouldn’t be there? They ARE there.Slow down. All this bad stuff tends to happen on autopilot. We don’t make a conscious choice to be miserable. Imagine: Ok, now I am going to tell myself that I’m a total loser so that I can feel worthless and inept. Nope, it just happens, originating outside of conscious control.
  13. The subconscious mind makes no difference between what’s real and what’s imagined.
  14. It contains ‘your version of the truth’ such as limitations and beliefs which are not necessarily true.
  15. The subconscious mind can be programmed , so we can have the perfect life we want, but unfortunately, that is not what most people do .Repetition is important when you program the subconscious mind.
  16. The subconscious is where your ‘gut-instinct’ and inner knowledge originates.
  17. Visualization is the best method to program your subconscious.
  18. Your subconscious mind learns by repetition and not by logic.
  19. Fill your subconscious mind with expectations of the best experiences and emotions and your thoughts will become a reality.
  20. Your subconscious mind surfaces when you are not fully alert.

Imagine a positive outcome of your problems, fully feel the enthusiasm from what has happened .All your fantasies and feelings are clearly accepted by your subconscious and then implemented in life!

Do It

To put all this into perspective. There was an old rerun of Call the Midwife on the TV and in the scene that was on it was set in an old house in the East End of London and there was an old Paraffin heater in the middle of the room. As soon as I saw it, Wonderful memories came flooding back of my grandparents house. The smell, the chocolate box pictures. the wonderful memories. I immediately smiled as it took me back to what seemed such a peaceful and happy time. All our memories are in us. good and bad, but we can choose what we think about and how we allow it to effect us.

We control our thoughts and we tend to forget that.

So how does the subconscious mind work?

While luck, and hard work are the primary factors that lead to a prosperous life, there is one more thing that plays a key role. It is the subconscious mind which also, without your knowledge, alters life’s circumstances. Most of the times, the moods that we feel are shaped by our subconscious mind. Likewise, personality development and personal and professional growth are also determined by the subconscious mind to a certain extent. As the name implies, we remain subconscious but this tiny little part of brain still performs its functions effectively. The subconscious mind stores and processes all those pieces of information that are in our minds, but we might be unaware of them. It’s indeed exciting to get to know how the subconscious mind works because of the vast amount of information it holds. In addition, this part of the brain can do wonders in your life.

When Does It Work The Best?

The subconscious mind works best when we are apparently not alert; for instance, while sleeping. Likewise, the subconscious mind works well during the times when we perform supposedly relaxed and easy going tasks.

Examples of such tasks include driving, taking bath, and watching TV. Though there are distractions during these activities, subconscious mind still functions properly.

You can recall your own experiences. There will definitely be numerous examples when brilliant ideas might have clicked in your mind while you were not actually thinking about one. Subconscious mind is certainly an active and smart part of the brain. Therefore, you can use it for multiple objectives to make life happier and prosperous.

Logical Daydreaming or Hypnotism?

It will not be wrong to associate the functioning of subconscious mind with daydreaming or hypnotism. Sometimes, you are so much into cognitive processes and imagination that your existence shrinks down to only physical presence because you are mentally somewhere else. Missing road turns while driving or adding wrong ingredients while cooking are common examples in this regard.

This is actually the time when the subconscious mind takes up the charge and your conscious mind stops working for a while. You feel hypnotized but still act and behave as per your ethical and moral values. It’s just that your mind processes information rapidly and you sink into deep imaginations. This is one of the best aspects of how the subconscious mind works because here you can use it constructively.

You Can Change Your Life

Facts and real life experiences indicate that if you use your subconscious mind effectively, you can greatly influence your self-motivation, will power, and emotional intelligence. Consequently, you lead a healthy and happy life. Read on to find out how you can constructively make you subconscious mind work.

Make subconscious requests: Every night when you go to bed, make requests to your subconscious mind. It can be anything relating to your personal life or professional career. For instance, you can request for daily workout, a new product launch by the end of the year, or a sports car for yourself.
Visualize yourself in the requested scenario: Once you have made requests, you have to repeatedly imagine yourself in the given scenario every night before sleeping. Keep practicing it until your imagination turns into reality. For instance, imagine yourself in the gym early in the morning, planning for marketing plan and creative media strategies, or driving your favorite luxurious sports car.
Sink into pleasure: During imaginations, also think about the pleasure and contentment that you will attain when your imagination will turn into reality. This is the best part to feel motivated and get down to action. Consequently, you will begin to make efforts to achieve your goals. Simply trust in your subconscious mind’s capabilities and resources to make things happen.

I hope this has given you a little insight to how the subconscious mind works and how hypnotherapy can help you.

If you have any questions or would like to know more about how hypnotherapy can help you. Please leave a comment or message me and I will be happy to speak to you.

Until next time. Have a great week.

Jon x

Moving Up. Moving On.

Hi.

As we approach the last third of the school Summer holidays, this is where you may notice your child or children beginning to withdraw a little. Of course you will ask are they are okay and they reply I’m fine and disappear to their room. Actually they may not be okay. Children get very anxious about either moving up a class or moving on to a whole new school. They have listened to rumours about how horrible the teachers are and what punishments are given out. They believe that bullies roam the corridors looking for their next victim or that they will get lost in the many corridors and they will get in trouble for getting to class late. All of these are unfounded, exaggerated and in most cases just not true.

I worked in primary education for over 26 years.  I understand children, Hey, I’m only 5’4″ so most kids are taller than me so I’m at their level (Some may say mentally as well. Some will just make the transition but others suffer in silence. they convince themselves of the worst possible scenario and relive it every remaining day of the school holiday.

We don’t want our children to be unhappy or worried. We want them to look back on their school holidays and their childhood as some of their best memories.

So what can we do? now it’s funny you should ask. from this week up until the first week in September I run a Moving Up. Moving On program for children. It helps children realise they can cope, realise that they are so much capable than what they have been led to believe.  In just two sessions I will help that child to not only believe in themselves but also to give them the confidence to handle what ever they do face in the new term.

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Moving to a new school can be intimidating. In fact, it may feel as your whole world as you once knew it is crashing down. You may wish your friend was with you, or that the school was in your old neighborhood. However, it is possible to fit in at a new school. Follow these easy steps and you’ll find yourself fitting in no time!

Take a day to appreciate your environment. You won’t fit in at school if you don’t know the school well yet. Ask where places are or ask for a school map.

Be friendly to everyone. Be nice to adults, teenagers and kids alike, because they might just be your next teacher or friend.

Get to know your teachers. Talk to them and find out more about them. See how strict or lenient they are.

Make new friends. Try not to be shy, and be confident. Talk to different groups of people, but don’t ignore a certain group. Be yourself and don’t lie. This is your school now, so take a chance on letting your true personality shine through if you didn’t already at your old school.

Pay attention in class. Teachers always pay attention to new students.

Be yourself. If your first day in the school is the first day of the new year, then some people will notice you, especially if it is a small school. When people talk to you, don’t be nervous, but don’t be too loud. Be confident and make eye contact. However, sometimes you may need to make yourself loud so that you will get noticed, and but try not to constantly attract attention to yourself.

  • Don’t worry too much about what people think of you; you’ll over-analyze the situation and they might judge you for that.
  • Be genuine and be nice to everyone, no matter how mean they may appear at first. It’s usually always the ‘girl/guy that you hated at your new school’ that ends up being your friend after a little sincerity.
  • Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself, if it’s very clear that you should.

Avoid worrying about getting to know the school too much. Know where your locker is and have a map in case of emergencies, but whenever possible, ask the person sitting near you or a teacher in the hallway where something is.

  • Asking for directions to a class, for example, is a good way to talk to people and meet a lot of people on your first day. You’re the new kid now. Mention that to people whenever you need some help.

Prepare for your first lunch. Talk to students in the class right before lunch. Usually, they will ask you if you’re sitting with anyone, but if not, steer the topic towards school lunch (as in is the food good etc.) If no one specifically mentions eating together, but you’re walking to the cafeteria together, then it’s implied that you’ll eat lunch together.

Be nice to everyone. It is important to talk to everyone, even if they seem weird, when you are a new student. They could always know people you’d rather be friends with or introduce you to more people. Try to meet new people. However, if they are hated by everyone, then it is advised not to become best friends with them unless you really want to, don’t get too into people, hang out with everyone, and make sure you know a group or person well enough before deeming them your friend.

  • It can be the most tricky, manipulative people that talk to you at first, and it’s usually those who just talk to you later on, at the back of the classroom who are there for you later on.

Pay attention in class and try hard in school. If someone passes a note or whispers something to you, ignore them so you can pay attention to the teacher.

Join a few clubs or sports and make more friends in this way. Make sure you are committed to that sport or club.

Be consistently level-headed inside and out, and don’t over-think people or situation. Never forget that while you might be trying to fit in, you should never try to be anybody but yourself. The first couple of weeks are always confusing.

Share this with your children, show them you care and that they are not alone. 

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Warnings.

  • Don’t be negative. People don’t like a Debbie-Downer. A way to avoid this is to think positively about every situation.
  • If you had a bad reputation at your old school, don’t talk about your rep. Just pretend it never happened and make sure not to make the same mistakes at your new school.
  • Try to avoid drama if you can.
  • Don’t be obnoxious. It’s good to jump in and let people know you’re there, but allow them to get a word in too.

Be you. Be happy, and always do your best.

Until next week. Have a good one

Jon X

What can it do for you?

Hi.

If you are a regular reader of my blog (and there are some of you) you know that I am a hypnotherapist. and an EFT/TFT Tapping practitioner  So last night I got talking to someone and the question arose “Well what could you do for me?” and the answer is lots actually.

You don’t have to be overweight, or a smoker or an anxiety sufferer to want to visit a hypnotherapist. We can can help you with so many aspects of your life and modern living. It’s not all about fears and Phobias.

Let me give you some examples, (and just so you know names, dates and possibly genders are changed in these case studies. to protect clients).

Case Study 1:

Client was feeling totally worthless and life had no purpose.

2 sessions with the client showed them that they were not worthless and that their life definitely had a purpose. We worked together on building their self worth, made them feel that they can handle what life throws at them, seeing new challenges as a way of growth. followed by reinventing their outlook on life. Replacing those damaging negative thoughts with more positive constructive thoughts.

Outcome:

This was 7 months ago. I met the client in town just last week.  I saw him before he saw me. He was smiling, his body language shouted confidence and he looked happy. When he saw me he came straight over with his NEW partner. (There wasn’t one at the time of the sessions) and he introduced her to me. He can’t believe the change in himself and he is now full of optimism for his future.

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Case Study 2:

Client was struggling with anger issues.

3 sessions booked in. Did some emotional release as to the root of the anger. then worked with the client showing them that they can release that anger before a hand is raised. then did some future pacing using visualisation. showing the client what life will be like once their anger is under control, their control.

Outcome:

Life has become so much more peaceful at home. and their partner is not living on their nerves anymore if they go out for a drink. The client is so much calmer and does not get angry over things that use to make them snap.

Case study 3:

Relationship breakdown.

My client came to me because of a relationship breakdown and didn’t feel that they could move on. we booked in 3 sessions and in those 3 sessions we used a method that I have in my toolbox called The Blueprint. It’s a fantastic content free protocol that will help shift negativity, unwanted thoughts, past trauma etc then once we have cleared those thoughts, those patterns of behaviour we start on rebuilding the confidence and self belief which is always in you. It just gets covered over and we tend to forget that we are in control of our thoughts and beliefs.

Outcome.

6 months later. a very happy independent person who now knows they don’t have to rely on others and can very much be their own person. They are dipping their toe back into the dating scene but with a new found confidence.

Here is a link to my testimonial page. I love to receive feedback and to see how my clients are doing.

So you see. It’s not just about fear of flying or fear of heights etc etc . It’s all about you and making you the best that you possibly can be.

I love this work and the satisfaction that it brings. Seeing the long term change in my clients makes me feel so pleased and proud that I could help them.

Pie

 

So why did I get into it, I hear you ask. (Go on someone ask please)… I will tell you. Because it saved me. In my 30s (I’m 57 now) I had some major illnesses. 2 heart attacks 2 mini strokes and various medical procedures. I lost my confidence my self belief and my mojo. So I had a decision to make I could have curled up on the sofa and watched Kilroy (the then equivalent of the Jeremy Kyle show) or I could pull myself together.

I did the latter. I started with self hypnosis books. Thanks Paul Mckenna. then as time went on not only did I regain all my confidence back I exceeded where I wanted to be. So a few years back I decided to train to become a hypnotherapist. Not intending to do it as a career I just wanted to know why it made a world of difference for me.

So I trained and the more I did the more I loved it. Not only could I do it I was bloody good at it (yep, blowing my own trumpet here) So I qualified and I started doing it in the evenings alongside my proper job. However the more I did, the more I loved it and the buzz from helping people was amazing so I took a leap of faith nearly 2 years ago and went full time.

I have not looked back. (Well I have but I fell over so I won’t be doing that again)

I believed in me and I got that from hypnotherapy and that’s why when you come and see me you can see the passion and the enthusiasm that I have, and having been there I know I can get you back on track.

So that’s my little story for this week. Next week I will blogging about ???? who know’s I just sit down and see what comes. however what I do know is that it will be of benefit to you the reader in some way. as that’s what I like doing. I like helping people.

Until next time

Have a great week

Jon X

Ps. I’ve also written a few books(Search Jon Adkin on Amazon) and painted a few pictures

Still Reframing.

Hi.

How did you get on last week? Did you try reframing? I’ve spoken to a few people this week who told me they found some of the tips useful, which is great.

So I thought I would dedicate another blog to help you understand how and why reframing can help in a lot of situations.

Sometimes when a day seems stressful or overwhelming, relaxation is just a positive reframe away. Positive reframe strategies take the ‘stress’ out of stressors – when we reframe, we look at the same situation in a new way that highlights possibilities rather than the “threats” involved. Viewing our stressors as challenges that we can face, even opportunities, rather than mere threats to our happiness, can help us out of feeling trapped. Once we broaden our perspectives with positive reframes, we are able to see more opportunities. More importantly, we can feel less stressed almost immediately. Try the following positive reframe strategies below. They can turn your next bad day into a day of new possibilities.

Think About What’s Stressing You. Rather than wallowing in feelings of frustration and helplessness, look at your situation with fresh eyes. What aspects of your situation are stressing you the most? What needs do you have that aren’t being met? Where do you feel a lack of control? Become aware, if you aren’t already, of the parts of your situation that you would most like to change if you could.

Look For What You Can Change. This first step may seem obvious, but it’s not always done. When you reframe, you change your perspective on things. When looking for what you can change, brainstorm for as many possibilities as you can, without judging right away if you can or can’t do them. Instead of thinking, ‘I wish I could change this,’ or even, ‘Can I change this?’, try thinking, ‘How can I change this?’ You may not be able to change everything, but with a positive reframe of the situation, you may see possibilities you weren’t aware of before.

Look For Benefits. If you’re in a situation you truly can’t change, or if there are aspects you can’t change, you can reframe your thoughts and change the way you feel about it by finding benefits in the situation you face. What opportunities might be found amidst the rubble? What strengths might you have gained by simply working through this? When you’re looking for benefits, it doesn’t mean you gloss over negatives; you simply notice positives as well and focus on them.

Find The Humor. This is my favourite. Have you ever felt that someday you’ll look back at this and laugh? Why not let ‘someday’ be today, and laugh now? When you reframe for humor, you find the aspects of your situation that are so absurd that you can’t help but laugh. You can often turn the most stressful aspects of a situation into the funniest, and share those bits of humor with those closest to you (or your 600 closest friends on Facebook) and receive support in the form of shared laughter. Find the humor in a stressful situation and the benefits of laughter as you reframe your way into a good laugh.

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I have so many clients who come to me  who have a problem with an inner critic. That little voice telling you, ‘you can’t do that’ or ‘you’re not good enough’ Whether you tell yourself, “I’m never going to be promoted,” or you constantly fret, “People think I’m weird,” negative self-talk affects how you feel and how you behave. In fact, the conversations you have with yourself often turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, imagine someone who thinks, “I’m socially awkward, and no one wants to talk to me.” To cope with his awkwardness, he avoids striking up conversations with people and limits his interactions. Consequently, people think he is socially awkward, and his belief about himself is confirmed.

So whether you call yourself names, or you always talk yourself out of trying something new, here’s how to deal with negative thoughts in a healthy way:

Recognize your negative thoughts.

When you get an email from the boss that says, “I need to meet with you as soon as possible,” is your first thought that you’re about to be fired, or do you think you must be getting a raise?

Many of your thoughts are automatic. They just pop into your head without any conscious effort.

So it’s important to take a second to evaluate your thoughts, so you can recognize thoughts that are unrealistic, unproductive, or irrational.

Look for evidence that your thought is true.

Just because you think something doesn’t make it true. In fact, most of your thoughts are more likely to be opinions rather than facts.

So ask yourself, “What’s the evidence that this is true?” Sticking with the example of the email from the boss, what evidence do you have that you’re about to be fired?

Create a list of the evidence that supports your thoughts. Perhaps you called in sick for days in a row recently. Or maybe you missed a deadline on an important project a month earlier. List as many reasons as you can.

Look for evidence that your thought isn’t true.

Then create a list of reasons why your thought might not be true. Maybe you are one of the hardest workers on your team, and you know that your boss rarely fires people without good reason. Or maybe you’ve been called into meetings with the boss before, and you’ve never gotten fired.

If you struggle to find contrary evidence — which is common when your emotions run high — ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend who had this problem?” If your co-worker said, “I’m about to get fired,” you’d likely be able to conjure up some reasons why that might not be true. So give yourself the same consolation you’d give someone else.

Reframe your thought into something more realistic.

Once you’ve looked at the evidence on both sides of the equation, develop a more realistic statement. Telling yourself, “My boss wants to talk to me. There could be many reasons for that email,” can help you keep things in proper perspective.

Don’t try to convince yourself of things that are overly positive — that won’t work either. Instead, the goal should be to create a statement based in reality.

Ask yourself how bad it would be if your thought were true.

Sometimes, the best way to deal with negative self-talk is to face it head-on. Ask yourself, “How bad would it actually be if I did get fired?” Then spend a few minutes thinking how you’d respond.

Whether you decided to apply for a different job, or you chose to start your own business, you’d have options. It wouldn’t be the end of the world. Reminding yourself that you’d eventually be OK can help take some of the panic, dread, and worry out of the situation.

Practice replacing negative self-talk

You might never get rid of your negative self-talk completely — and that’s fine. The goal is to recognize that your brain’s predictions and conclusions aren’t always accurate. Then, you’ll be less affected by the thoughts that tend to stir up uncomfortable emotions or unproductive behavior.

The more you practice replacing your negative self-talk, the more equipped you’ll be to reach your greatest potential. After all, you’ll never become your best self if you’re constantly beating yourself up or dragging yourself down.

Stop fighting yourself. You are your own best friend, and you wouldn’t treat your best friend the way you treat yourself so STOP!

Thank you for reading  this blog.  I hope it helps you to put a new perspective on life.

Have a great week and remember think positive.

See you soon

Jon X

PS. This blog consists of my thoughts and my esteemed colleagues in the health and wellbeing sector. We are here to help you. Please don’t be afraid to ask for help.

It’s ok not to be ok.

Jon Adkin BAHyp Hypnotherapist. Based in Haverhill Suffolk.

 

You’ve been framed!

Hi welcome back.

This week I want to talk about reframing. No I’m not going to talk about my art (I will if you want to) or my photography. No, reframing is a technique used in therapy to help create a different way of looking at a situation, person, or relationship by changing its meaning. The essential idea behind reframing is that a person’s point-of-view depends on the frame it is viewed in. When the frame is shifted, the meaning changes and thinking and behavior often change along with it.

Another way to understand the concept of reframing is to imagine looking through the frame of a camera lens. The picture seen through the lens can be changed to a view that is closer or further away. By slightly changing what is seen in the camera, the picture is both viewed and experienced differently.

What is an example of reframing? Here’s an example of positive reframing that I really love. A woman was new to a large company and was trying very hard to make a good impression on her coworkers. One day, responding to a widely sent email, she accidentally attached a personal document about her financial difficulties instead of the intended form. Realising the mistake, she quickly sent out a new email with the message “…Well at least it wasn’t a love letter ;)” Her coworkers got a kick out of her response, and an event that could have caused her to look unprofessional actually improved her coworkers’ opinions of her. Positive reframing does not change the situation, but it can certainly reduce damage and put things into a healthier perspective.

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I reframed something that helps me everyday. Due to my illnesses I have a stack of tablets to take each morning, Now when I first started taking the tablets it was a constant reminder as to how ill I really was. Then I had a eureka moment. Now each morning I take my tablets as I always do but now just as I’m about to take them I say to myself or sometimes out loud. “Today is going to be a good day.” By reframing I am reminding myself that I’m alive and well (As long as I continue to take the tablets).

reframing can be used in therapy or just in everyday life. Do you have a teenager at home? You know the ones who think they know everything.

Teenagers often think their outlook is the only way to see a problem. If a friend didn’t call back they must be mad. Or, if a teen fails a test it must mean their stupid.

Ask questions like, “Is there another way to look at this situation?” or, “What are three other possible reasons this could have happened?” Help your teen see that there are likely dozens of potential reasons a problem exists.

For example, the friend might not be returning her text messages because their busy or because they got their phone taken away. Pointing out alternatives to your teen’s insistence that their friend is angry can help them see things from another view.

You might also help them reframe the situation by saying, “Your friend may need to cool down before they talk to you because they like you a lot and doesn’t want to say something mean out of anger.”

Validate your teen’s feelings by saying, “I know you are nervous that they haven’t called you back. I know when I feel nervous I always imagine the worst case scenarios but often, those things I imagine aren’t even true.”

You also might help your teen stay mentally strong by asking, “What would you say to a friend who had this problem?” Your teen is likely to speak to others in a kinder and more compassionate way than they talk to themselves.

The goal should be to help your teen develop healthy self-talk. Eventually, they’ll learn how to coach themselves as they begin to recognise there are many ways to view the same situation.

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The 3 things I always do when reframing
1) I don’t argue
Delivering reframes isn’t about ‘putting them right’. Direct advice giving seldom works because people need to feel: competent, persuaded not bamboozled – even with the best of intentions. It is much more effective to present reframes as innocent questions, observations, misunderstandings or even truisms.

Yes, I see a lot of clients for vomiting phobia, is an undeniable truism – but also subtly reframes the vomit phobic’s conviction that they are ‘the only one’ who feels like this.

2) I remember that reframes are more than just ‘cognitive’
You might be forgiven for thinking that a ‘cognitive reframe’ only works on the level of thinking. But it’s actually easier, by far, to change our feelings in order to change our thoughts than the other way round (as an aside, this is why I use hypnosis with my clients).

A reframe needs to be felt. It needs to have an emotional impact beyond its appeal to the ‘thinking mind’. This is because the new frame needs to be more emotionally compelling than the old one if it is to be accepted. We do need to calm our clients, of course, but we also need to know how to sometimes raise their emotional pitch in order to embed a new more productive way of seeing.

By discovering what’s important to my client, I find out what raises their ’emotional temperature’ and then utilise what motivates them to help them view things differently.

For example, a businessman and landlord who needed to stop cigarettes choking the life out of him was given the following analogy:

Imagine a tenant whom you had to pay to live in your house. Imagine that you paid them to be there while they soiled your furniture, wrecked your carpets, damaged the walls and roof… Would you call that a good deal for you?

After this reframe the man said he just couldn’t continue smoking. This reframe worked for him because of the nature of his own business, and as a businessman the importance to him of ‘good deals’. He could no longer think of smoking in any other terms than ‘a terrible deal’ for him.

3) I open the ‘attention gates’ before I deliver a reframe
I shouldn’t really be doing this, but I’m about to tell you something very few people have ever heard before…

Ok, that’s a bit over the top – but hopefully I’ve made my point and got your attention!

Because I need to ensure that my client is in the right state of mind to be receptive to a new, more therapeutic take on things.

I need to know not only how to construct a reframe but also how to open the client’s ‘attention gates’ so that they can become receptive enough to actually take in and absorb the reframes I offer them. No matter how elegant your reframe, if the client blocks it out, it will be useless.

I use various prepping techniques with my client so that reframes will take hold: surprise
shock
humour
curiosity
hypnosis and
practical demonstration and instruction.
All these different techniques would get people’s full attention, loosen them up and get them into the right frame of mind for his reframes to take root. I then deliver a carefully crafted and individually targeted ‘new perspective’ that would completely alter the troubling and limiting ideas that were causing them unnecessary difficulty in life.

Of course, there are many ways to deliver reframes but when you keep these three principles in mind clients  tend to leave my practise with powerful new ways of seeing which transform how they live.

I will talk more about reframing next week. Give it a go, let me know how you get on.

Have a great week.

Jon XX