How did you handle the lockdown?

Hi, Welcome to this weeks blog.

This week I want to look at how we handled the lock down differently and what was best for you. When this all started. a lot of people went crazy, stockpiling toilet rolls, soap (what were you using before this happened?) and pasta. It all got a little mad and very selfish. Then as the weeks went on many realised that there was no need to stockpile and a sense of normality started to return, but not for all.

Stupidity was still infecting people. families who didn’t think the rules applied to them, and because of their actions this lock down has most probably continued longer than it needed to, had we all obeyed the rules.

So how did you handle it? What have you been doing as a family or alone that has got you through this period? Is there anything that you will continue to do once the restrictions have been lifted?

What did I do? Well I work in a very serious business dealing each day with many different issues, but I made a decision to get through this with humour. I took off my professional head each day just for an hour or two and I posted funny pictures, jokes and videos. I wanted to make people smile. I didn’t want to remind them that things were tough, or that they were feeling anxious. I wanted to make them happy and just for a moment forget about what was happening outside.

A Smile lights up your face.

So why did I take this approach?

Many see smiling simply as an involuntary response to things that bring you joy or laughter. While this observation is certainly true, what most people overlook is that smiling can be just as much a voluntary response as a conscious and powerful choice.

Countless scientific studies have confirmed that a genuine smile is generally considered attractive to others around us. Other studies have shed light on how the act of smiling can elevate your mood and the mood of those around you. Still. others have found a strong link between good health, longevity, and smiling. Most importantly, studies have shown​ that just the act of smiling (making the physical facial shapes and movements), whether the result of real joy or an act, can have both short- and long-term benefits on people’s health and wellbeing.

Still not convinced? Here are the top 10 reasons you should make a conscious effort to smile every day.

Smiling Makes Us Attractive

We are naturally drawn to people who smile. There is a real physical attraction factor linked to the act of smiling.

Not surprisingly, more severe or negative facial expressions like frowns, scowls, and grimaces actually work in the opposite manner, effectively pushing people away. Instead, use the attraction power of your smile to draw people in.2

Smiling Relieves Stress

Stress can permeate our entire being, and can really show up in our faces. Smiling not only helps to prevent us from looking tired, worn down, and overwhelmed but can actually help reduce stress

Believe it or not, smiling can reduce stress even if you don’t feel like smiling or even know that you’re smiling! When you are stressed, take the time to put on a smile. You and those around you will reap the benefits.

You feel better when you smile.

Smiling Elevates Our Mood

Next time you are feeling down, try putting on a smile. There’s a good chance your mood will change for the better. Smiling can trick the body into helping you elevate your mood because the physical act of smiling actually activates neural messaging in your brain.

A simple smile can trigger the release of neural communication boosting neuropeptides as well as mood-boosting neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin. Think of smiling like a natural anti-depressant.

Smiling Is Contagious

How many smiles have been described as having the power to lighten up the room? While it is certainly a beautiful sentiment, it carries a hint of truth. Smiling not only has the power to elevate your mood, but it can also change the moods of others and make things happier.

The part of your brain that is responsible for your controlling the facial expression of smiling is an unconscious automatic response area. Meaning that smiling can be completely unconscious, particularly when it comes to our habit of mimicking another person’s smile. Yes, it is scientifically proven that smiles are “contagious!”

Smiling Boosts Your Immune System

Smiling can also boost your overall health. The act of smiling actually helps the human immune system to function more effectively. It is thought that when you smile, immune function improves because you are more relaxed (thanks to the release of certain neurotransmitters).

In addition to taking precautions like washing your hands, why not try to prevent the cold and flu by smiling?

A Smile can relieve stress.

Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure

When you smile, there is a measurable reduction in your blood pressure. Give it a try if you have a blood pressure monitor at home.

Sit for a few minutes, take a reading. Then smile for a minute and take another reading while still smiling. Do you notice a difference?

Smiling Makes Us Feel Good

Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural painkillers, and serotonin. Together these three neurotransmitters make us feel good from head to toe.

Not only do these natural chemicals elevate your mood, but they also relax your body and reduce physical pain. Smiling is a natural drug.

Smiling Makes You Look Younger

Not only can smiling make you more attractive it can also make you look more youthful. The muscles we use to smile also lift the face, making a person appear younger.

So instead of opting for a face lift, just try smiling your way through the day—you’ll look younger and feel better.

Say cheese

Smiling Makes You Seem Successful

Studies have shown that people who smile regularly appear more confident, are more likely to be promoted, and are more likely to be approached.

Try putting on a smile at meetings and business appointments. You might find that people react to you differently.

Smiling Helps You Stay Positive

Try this test: Smile. Now try to think of something negative without losing the smile. It’s hard, isn’t it?

Even when a smile feels unnatural or forced, it still sends the brain and ultimately the rest of our body the message that “Life is Good!” Stay away from depression, stress, and worry by smiling

Fake It Till You Make It


In other words, smiling can trick your brain into believing you’re happy which can then spur actual feelings of happiness. But it doesn’t end there. It has been shown “over and over again” that depression weakens your immune system, while happiness on the other hand has been shown to boost our body’s resistance.

What’s crazy is that just the physical act of smiling can make a difference in building your immunity. “When you smile, the brain sees the muscle [activity] and assumes that humor is happening.”

In a sense, the brain is a sucker for a grin. It doesn’t bother to sort out whether you’re smiling because you’re genuinely joyous, or because you’re just pretending.

Even forcing a fake smile can legitimately reduce stress and lower your heart rate, and there are plenty more studies out there to make you smile (or at least, serve as reference for why you should). Researchers at the University of Kansas published findings that smiling helps reduce the body’s response to stress and lower heart rate in tense situations; another study linked smiling to lower blood pressure, while yet another suggests that smiling leads to longevity

So that’s why I did what I did and am still doing. for the fuddy duddys that were saying I wasn’t being very professional. You are entitled to your opinion, but in my view I was helping people in the best way that I knew how.

If I have made you smile with one of my posts on Facebook or lifted your spirits even if only for a moment. Let me know.

Normal service will resume soon. In the meantime. keep smiling, stay safe and look after yourselces.

Until next week.

Best wishes

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Unplug that negative energy

Hi Welcome to this weeks blog. This week I want to talk about energy. Specifically negativity energy and kinetic energy.

Kinetic energy for those of you that are not sure is the energy of motion, observable as the movement of an object, particle, or set of particles. Any object in motion is using kinetic energy: a person walking, a thrown baseball, a crumb falling from a table, and a charged particle in an electric field are all examples of kinetic energy at work.

Kinetic energy can be defined as the energy which is present in every moving object. We can simply say that kinetic energy is the energy because of motion. Kinetic energy can be further classified into various types based on the type of motion of the objects. For example, rotational kinetic energy is the energy possessed by a body which is moving in circles, e.g. planets revolving around the sun have rotational kinetic energy; vibrational kinetic energy is the energy possessed by an object due to vibration, e.g. vibrating phone has a vibrational kinetic energy; translational kinetic energy is the energy possessed by an object moving from one point to another. Translational kinetic energy can be easily observed in our everyday life.

When walking or running, we possess some amount of kinetic energy. This is why we feel comparatively warm while running or after walking some distance. Sweat is the result of the heat produced by our body due to running. While walking or running, there is a conversion of chemical energy into kinetic energy.

So basically we are energy but what about the negative energy. Well we don’t want it, we don’t need it, so get rid of it.

As a hypnotherapist I see many people who say only bad things happen to me, or I’m surrounded by miserable, negative people. Do you know why that is? It is because you are sending out negative vibes. You are choosing to ignore all the good things going on around you and just focusing on all the bad things. 

If that is how you feel, you will continue to attract people feeling the same way as you, because negativity attracts negativity. You cannot hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life. Walk away from anything that gives you a bad vibe. There is no need to explain or make sense of it. It’s your life. Do what makes you happy.

Turn your day from a negative to a positive. Even how you respond is a great way to start.

Here 11 everyday phrases can easily be replaced, giving your vocabulary an instant positivity boost.

Every Day Positive Language

1. Why not? → Sounds good

2. No problem → Definitely!

3. Can’t complain → Everything’s going well, thanks

These phrases are meant to be positive – but the human brain has a negative bias, and subconsciously brings up all of the reasons not to do something, problems, or complains when processing these words.

4. I’m exhausted → I need to rest

Flipping the phrase to include a solution leaves both the speaker and the listener with a better taste in their mouths.

Positive Language at Work

5. I forgot → I’ll make sure to set a reminder

Again, focusing on what can be done will help the people around you expect a positive result.

6. Unfortunately, it will be impossible to finish the project on time because of the problems some people are causing with submitting their work late. → Can everyone turn in their portion of the project by Thursday so that we can complete the work on time and hit the deadline?

Email culture provides the perfect opportunity to work on positive language, as you can edit your words before sending them out to colleagues and clients. Look out for negative words like “unfortunately,” “impossible” and “problems” as flags for sentences to revise.

7. Constructive criticism → Feedback

The words you use to frame your feedback can have a significant impact on how it is received. To add to the positive vibe, healthy portions of compliments for achievements will help your colleagues take your comments on board.

Positive Language at Home

8. Don’t throw the ball inside! → Please take the ball outside.  Or

9. Don’t … → I like it when..

Telling children (and adults, too!) what you want them to do rather than what you don’t want them to do puts the focus on the desired action and ups your chances of a positive outcome.

10. I missed you so much! → It’s so great to see you!

While absence certainly does make the heart grow fonder, reunions can be a time to rejoice in the present rather than relating negative emotions from the past.

11. No! → I know you like ice cream, but eating too much isn’t healthy.

Unless you’re dealing with a serious safety issue, for example near a road or a swimming pool, explaining the reason behind your “no” helps children feel respected and included. As a guide, think about how you’d like your boss to speak to you.

Do you see what I’m saying, replace the negative words with a more positive approach.

If you come out of your bedroom and fall down the stairs. Don’t say “Oh that’s a greatstart to the day.”

No, you say ”Boy, I’ve never got down the stairs that quick before.” And smile that you were not hurt.

As a hypnotherapist I can help you release that negativity out of your system, We hold on to so much that no longer serves us.  Let’s do that mental detox. When you are ready contact me for a chat.

In the mean time. Stay positive and smile more.

Until next week, have a good one

Jon x

Jon Adkn BAHyp Hypnotherapist.

Hypnotherapist based in Suffolk, serving Suffolk, Cambridge and Essex.

Author of ‘Can I Change?’ A self help guide for anxiety.

What can it do for you?

Hi.

If you are a regular reader of my blog (and there are some of you) you know that I am a hypnotherapist. and an EFT/TFT Tapping practitioner  So last night I got talking to someone and the question arose “Well what could you do for me?” and the answer is lots actually.

You don’t have to be overweight, or a smoker or an anxiety sufferer to want to visit a hypnotherapist. We can can help you with so many aspects of your life and modern living. It’s not all about fears and Phobias.

Let me give you some examples, (and just so you know names, dates and possibly genders are changed in these case studies. to protect clients).

Case Study 1:

Client was feeling totally worthless and life had no purpose.

2 sessions with the client showed them that they were not worthless and that their life definitely had a purpose. We worked together on building their self worth, made them feel that they can handle what life throws at them, seeing new challenges as a way of growth. followed by reinventing their outlook on life. Replacing those damaging negative thoughts with more positive constructive thoughts.

Outcome:

This was 7 months ago. I met the client in town just last week.  I saw him before he saw me. He was smiling, his body language shouted confidence and he looked happy. When he saw me he came straight over with his NEW partner. (There wasn’t one at the time of the sessions) and he introduced her to me. He can’t believe the change in himself and he is now full of optimism for his future.

Room 2

Case Study 2:

Client was struggling with anger issues.

3 sessions booked in. Did some emotional release as to the root of the anger. then worked with the client showing them that they can release that anger before a hand is raised. then did some future pacing using visualisation. showing the client what life will be like once their anger is under control, their control.

Outcome:

Life has become so much more peaceful at home. and their partner is not living on their nerves anymore if they go out for a drink. The client is so much calmer and does not get angry over things that use to make them snap.

Case study 3:

Relationship breakdown.

My client came to me because of a relationship breakdown and didn’t feel that they could move on. we booked in 3 sessions and in those 3 sessions we used a method that I have in my toolbox called The Blueprint. It’s a fantastic content free protocol that will help shift negativity, unwanted thoughts, past trauma etc then once we have cleared those thoughts, those patterns of behaviour we start on rebuilding the confidence and self belief which is always in you. It just gets covered over and we tend to forget that we are in control of our thoughts and beliefs.

Outcome.

6 months later. a very happy independent person who now knows they don’t have to rely on others and can very much be their own person. They are dipping their toe back into the dating scene but with a new found confidence.

Here is a link to my testimonial page. I love to receive feedback and to see how my clients are doing.

So you see. It’s not just about fear of flying or fear of heights etc etc . It’s all about you and making you the best that you possibly can be.

I love this work and the satisfaction that it brings. Seeing the long term change in my clients makes me feel so pleased and proud that I could help them.

Pie

 

So why did I get into it, I hear you ask. (Go on someone ask please)… I will tell you. Because it saved me. In my 30s (I’m 57 now) I had some major illnesses. 2 heart attacks 2 mini strokes and various medical procedures. I lost my confidence my self belief and my mojo. So I had a decision to make I could have curled up on the sofa and watched Kilroy (the then equivalent of the Jeremy Kyle show) or I could pull myself together.

I did the latter. I started with self hypnosis books. Thanks Paul Mckenna. then as time went on not only did I regain all my confidence back I exceeded where I wanted to be. So a few years back I decided to train to become a hypnotherapist. Not intending to do it as a career I just wanted to know why it made a world of difference for me.

So I trained and the more I did the more I loved it. Not only could I do it I was bloody good at it (yep, blowing my own trumpet here) So I qualified and I started doing it in the evenings alongside my proper job. However the more I did, the more I loved it and the buzz from helping people was amazing so I took a leap of faith nearly 2 years ago and went full time.

I have not looked back. (Well I have but I fell over so I won’t be doing that again)

I believed in me and I got that from hypnotherapy and that’s why when you come and see me you can see the passion and the enthusiasm that I have, and having been there I know I can get you back on track.

So that’s my little story for this week. Next week I will blogging about ???? who know’s I just sit down and see what comes. however what I do know is that it will be of benefit to you the reader in some way. as that’s what I like doing. I like helping people.

Until next time

Have a great week

Jon X

Ps. I’ve also written a few books(Search Jon Adkin on Amazon) and painted a few pictures

Do you take time for you?

Hi I’m back. Did you miss me? What do you mean you didn’t even notice I wasn’t here. I took some me time. I traveled, I read, I laughed and I walked, boy did I walk. I had a great time, yes I did some work but that was all part of it. In the main I had a week of me time. Time to unwind, time to relax, time to think and time to please myself.  Taking me time is very important. It allows you to get your head together, it allows the body to unwind it allows you to catch up.

Now to have me time you don’t need to go abroad, you actually don’t even have to leave your home.

I bet you think that there is never enough time for doing the things you want to do? Want to get off the daily treadmill of never ending TO DO’s, jobs and family ‘stuff’ always cropping up?

ME TIME isn’t something to just be dreamed about. It’s not a pie in the sky idea only for the select few that don’t have any commitments.

It’s real.

And it’s possible!

I promise!

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WHY TIME FOR YOURSELF IS IMPORTANT

I always try and make time for me in every day now – sounds selfish?

I used to think that it was, but it really and truly isn’t – and it was actually a lovely colleague  who said something that stuck with me and changed how I thought about it….

He pointed out that if I am not functioning well and am happy, then the rest of the family and house suffers directly as a result. I simply don’t function as well, or feel as happy, when I am burnt out and trying to do all things for all people. We all owe it to ourselves to make some time for ourselves, as it genuinely can make all those around you happier as a result.

BUT I DON’T DESERVE “ME TIME” … DO I?

We all have crazy lives, with work, children, hobbies, household jobs etc…. taking over our time, and headspace most days, but without setting aside personal time you will burn out far too quickly, and then be of no use to anyone…

What’s the point of that!

From personal experience I know how dangerous it can be to not balance your time, It’s not a good place to be as I am sure you can appreciate. Trying to do everything and please everyone all the time can really take its toll. EVERYONE deserves a little time to themselves each day – it’s not whether you deserve it – it’s whether you can afford NOT to…

So – we’ve worked out that you need some time to yourself, and that you deserve it and shouldn’t feel in any way guilty for taking it, so what type of thing can you do?

Here are some great Me Time ideas for inspiration – and remember – it doesn’t matter how small that time is, make it count:-

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  • Go for a walk – get out of the house if there’s lots going on, and distance yourself for a few minutes – the exercise will also be great for you and you will feel rejuvenated
  • Take a bath – lock the door so you have no interruptions.
  • Read a book or your favourite magazine.
  • Take the afternoon off and go to the cinema.
  • Get up 20 minutes earlier or go to bed 20 minutes earlier and do something that is just about you! Reading, fitness, learning a new skill etc…
  • Book in me time into your diary as you would any other appointment – and don’t let yourself down by missing it. If you have children, why not give grandparents special time with them alone for a few hours one weekend, don’t wait for a special event that you specifically need them to babysit for, just do it!
  • Get a babysitter even if you’ve not got an evening out planned. You could go for a long walk, sit in a cafe, go to the cinema etc… – and just enjoy time to yourself.
  • Take some time to breathe, and perhaps meditate.
  • Go technology free. Turn off your phone, don’t have any notifications pinging at you – and enjoy being silent!
  • Record your favourite programme and make sure you spend time watching without interruptions.
  • Pamper yourself (both men and women can do this)
  • Why not look at your life plan (whether it’s a 5 year plan or a different time span) – see what you can start to really make headway towards by spending some quality time on it each week – this may be perfect for your me time (I personally like to DO things with me time, and feel more refreshed after doing such things – maybe you’re the same?…)
  • Go shopping for a new outfit – or just window shopping – spending time working out what suits you and what looks fantastic will do you the world of good!
  • If you work from home, think about having some me time during the day rather than waiting for the evening – it’s more likely to be done then, and you will feel refreshed afterwards – what about a trip to a coffee shop, lunch out, a run, a swim…
  • If you have the cash, what about a spa break? If you don’t have spare money why not create a spa at home.
  • Have a sleep! Honestly – sometimes it’s all I can do to keep my eyes open, and now and then I allow myself to take the nap I need. I feel SO good after even just 10 minutes – and get much more done as a result – so everyone’s a winner!
  • Look at a gym class that you would love to do and SIGN UP – work out with your partner any childcare and stick to the appointment as you would anything else. You will feel refreshed and get fit at the same time! (and there’s always the coffee shop and a magazine for half an hour afterwards!).
  • Do a project in your house that you’ve been wanting to do for ages. Painting some furniture, creating some artwork – whatever you love doing – just get it started!
  • Adult colouring is really taking off at the moment – and takes very little time. You can even carry it around with you!

Do It

In the words of Mr Nike. Just do it!

Whether that’s 5 minutes to do some colouring in (this is my promise!), or booking in a babysitter and filling your diary – It will be worth it!

Don’t wait until you have burned out to treat yourself to some time for you.

A happy person makes those around them happier – and if you create some time for yourself this will directly affect how happy you are.

So – use these Me Time ideas to decide on something that you will look forward to each day.

Have a great week

Jon X

www.jonadkin.com

 

You never know who is listening!

Hi.

How are we all doing? I had a lovely day last Saturday in London. My Son who is a Grenadier Guard was part of the Trooping the Colour which is the Queens official birthday. It was a lovely day seeing him in his uniform and carrying out his duties.

Now apart from wanting to share with you how proud I was of my Son, I also want to point out how important it is not to listen to that inner critic. My last blog was all about that monkey brain I want to carry on from that, I want to talk about how you talk to yourself. Either out loud or silently in your head. Our sub conscious brain is always listening. Midway through his training my son hit a brick wall. He started to tell himself he couldn’t do. He became very negative. Change that thought, change your mind. Our subconscious wants to keep us safe so if you say you can’t do something it will believe you so it won’t let you do it. If you tell yourself you only have bad luck, that is all that you will focus on. You will have good luck but it will pass by unnoticed  as you are too busy looking for the next bad thing to happen.

Nb. My Son not only made it through his training he has just signed up for another 4 years.

In an average 15 hour waking day it is reported we think up to 50,000 thoughts. If this is true, that’s about one thought every second. Oops there goes another one. Seems unbelievable if you think about. Oops there goes another one. I’m sure it isn’t news to you that your mind is busy…really busy! Right?  If you stop and consciously listen to your thinking, what you’ll notice is that most of your thoughts are in the sound of your own voice. They are constantly analysing, plotting, planning, commentating, reviewing, judging, discerning, agreeing, arguing, praising, worrying, appreciating, doubting, loathing, rehearsing… and a lot of this is happening involuntarily and unconsciously. In fact, psychologists say that 95% of your thinking occurs at the level of the subconscious, leaving just 5% that you are actually aware of.

Because your thoughts are in the sound of your own voice and are constant, incessant and unrelenting, like a pinball in a pinball machine bouncing from one thought to another, it’s reasonable to arrive at the conclusion that this is who you are, you are that voice inside your mind.

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It may come as a surprise to discover that the voice inside your mind, although it may sound like you, is not actually you. That voice is actually just your thoughts structured in language that only sounds like the voice you speak in. So if you aren’t the voice, or in some cases voices, inside your mind, then who are you?

You are you. That voice which could be from years back, maybe a parent, a Grandparent or perhaps a teacher. However over the years that voice has become you, so you think it’s you putting you down, telling you your not good enough, telling you you don’t deserve praise as you could have it so much better.

There’s a terrible battle going inside your mind right now, according to an old Cherokee.

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There are two wolves inside us all battling to see who will take over. One is negative— full of anger, envy, resentment, greed, sorrow, judgement, inferiority, criticism, and doubt. The other wolf is good — full of joy, appreciation, love, kindness, empathy, understanding, confidence, compassion, and clarity.

This fight is going inside of you. Even if you don’t notice it.

“Which wolf will win?” — You may ask, as this Cherokee’s grandson did.

“The one you feed the most.” — the wise grandfather simply replied.

Your thoughts are those two wolves. When you feed the negative animal, your mind loses clarity. You won’t be able to get rid of the bad wolf. It exists within you for a reason. Personal growth is about accepting your entire self instead of hiding your flaws.

Taming the negative wolf, not killing it — that’s how you neutralise your thoughts from causing pain and suffering. Having emotions and thoughts is normal. Letting them take over your behaviour, that’s the problem. When you believe you are what you feel and think, you lose perspective. There’s nothing wrong with thinking. It helps us understand matters, make decisions, and solve problems. The issue emerges when your judgmental wolf takes over. That’s when you look ‘from’ your thoughts.

Too much thinking can get you distracted. Your inner wolves can cloud your mind. Until they start eating you alive. Piece by Piece.

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Thoughts do not control our actions unless we allow them to do so. Remember not to overfeed your negative wolf. Neither your thoughts nor your emotions can determine how you behave. You are not what you suffer from.

We can’t escape from our thoughts (or emotions), but we can decide what we do in spite of them. Tame your internal wolves, rather than kill them.

 A practical exercise to experience this first-hand. Silently repeat to yourself: “I can’t lift my arm.” Say it over and over. Lift your arm up as you continue to say: “I can’t lift my arm.” So you lifted it in spite of your thoughts, right? But you probably hesitated though.

You are so used to believing what your mind tells you it that can easily mislead you. Becoming aware of the power of your thoughts is the first step towards defusing their influence.

Stay in control of your thoughts. Talk nicely to yourself.

Until next time

Jon XX