Do you have a negative memory that dictates your life?

Would you like to listen instead of reading? No problem.

Hi, welcome to July’s blog. this month I want to talk about releasing negative memories. The reason I want to talk to you about this is because, Yes, here comes the plug…

NMR from Jon

This month I have launched NMR Negative Memory Release. A protocol that combines Hypnotherapy, IEMT and NLP all of which I am a practitioner in. For a while now I have been looking for a niche. Something that will make me the go to guy for. So, I have used the time throughout the pandemic to look over all my case notes and see where the most impact was made. I contacted former clients to see how they were doing and to see if after the sessions, the suggestions were still working for them. I will be honest their were a couple of smokers that fell off the wagon due to being stuck at home with nothing to do. Well, that was their excuse, but me being me I’ve invited them back. However for my niche I wanted to put something together that used all the skills that I have learnt and offer a quick yet permanent way of helping clients. So, after months of trials, a bit of tweaking and perfecting, I felt ready to launch NMR.


So what is NMR?

Well In a nutshell. Here is the less sciency version. When we think of an event or a happening in our lives, our mind in a millisecond grabs all the parts of that memory, The sounds, the colours, the textures, the smells and forms a picture puzzle. When it offers you that picture an emotion forms from that memory. Now. without the full picture the emotion won’t form. The mind has distanced itself from the memory. It’s now nothing more than like seeing it as an old photograph. something that happened, but not to you. By using a combination of IEMT (IEMT Integrated Eye Movement Therapy) Hypnotherapy, and NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) I can break up that picture by removing elements of the puzzle.
If you want a more in depth description please visit my NMR website by clicking here.

Why would you need Negative Memory Release?


Throughout our lives we accumulate memories we’d rather forget. For people who’ve experienced a serious trauma, such as combat experience, domestic violence, or childhood abuse, these memories can be more than unwelcome — they can be debilitating. Fears and phobias often start from old memories. Sometimes you don’t even know that you are holding on to these memories and the attached emotions. Grief, Hate, even pain. You’re holding on to them long after they are any use to you.

Identify your triggers


Memories are cue-dependent, which means they require a trigger. Your bad memory isn’t constantly in your head; something in your present environment reminds you of your bad experience and triggers the recall process.
Identifying your most common triggers can help you take control of them. When you consciously recognize a trigger, you can practice suppressing the negative association. The more often you suppress this association, the easier it will become, thereby breaking the link between the trigger and the negative memory.
Some memories have only a few triggers, like particular smells or images, whereas others have so many that they are hard to avoid. For example, someone with a combat-related trauma might be triggered by loud noises, the smell of smoke, closed doors, particular songs, items on the side of the road, and so on.
If you have a repressed childhood memory, you may find yourself feeling triggered or having strong emotional reactions to people who remind you of previous negative experiences.
Significant events in life tend to linger in your memory. Some might spark happiness when you recall them. Others might involve less pleasant emotions.
You might make a conscious effort to avoid thinking about these memories. Repressed memories, on the other hand, are those you unconsciously forget. These memories generally involve some kind of trauma or a deeply distressing event. When your brain registers something too distressing, “it drops the memory into a ‘nonconscious’ zone, a realm of the mind you don’t think about.”
Scientists are just beginning to understand the complex process of memory. But there’s still a lot they don’t understand, including why some people develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and others do not.


The bottom line


Memories of pain and trauma are difficult to forget, but there are ways to manage them. Although research is progressing quickly, there are no drugs available yet that can erase particular memories. With NMR however, you can find a way to prevent bad memories from continuously popping into your head. You can also work to remove the emotional element of those memories, making them much easier to tolerate.
NMR can help you achieve this. And the best news. It can usually do it in just two sessions. (3 or 4 if really deep rooted) I know that’s a bold claim but it’s true. I have the clients to prove it.
During my trials I worked with Police, Military, NHS front line workers and of course Mums and Dads from all walks of life. Together we broke up the puzzle and without the full picture the emotion can’t return.
This is my niche. I will of course still offer hypnotherapy as a stand alone solution but as I move forward NMR for me is my go to session that will help many many people overcome their issues.
Please feel free to contact me if you would like to know more.
I wish you all the very best for July and I will see you next month.

Best Wishes

Jon

Jon Adkin BAHyp Negative Memory Specialist is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP and IEMT Practitioner.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebookInstagram. and now TikTok.

How do we know if we are confident?

If you like to listen rather than read. please click above.
Are you confident?

We know that when we feel confident it is a great state to be in; we trust ourselves to handle whatever is going to occur and we believe we have the abilities to handle what is ahead of us. We feel relaxed; we tend to go with the flow, and we respond naturally to those around us.

Because inner confidence tends to be reflected in how we look and sound, others can also spot when someone is truly confident and at one with themselves.

However, being confident is not enough. Just because we are confident it does not necessarily mean we will naturally connect with others. This depends on your interpersonal skills and your ability to build rapport with others. So, having confidence does not necessarily lead to charisma and an ability to influence others.

How is it related to self esteem?

People can lack confidence, but still have a sense of self worth and high self esteem. Self worth is about whether we feel worthy of happiness, success and the trust and love of others. Low self esteem can go hand in hand with a lack of confidence, but this is not always the case.

What’s the relationship between confidence and charisma?

Charisma is usually described as the ability to inspire others and to draw interest and affection from them, based on the ability to influence others through personal charm. Some politicians and business leaders are described as charismatic. True charisma is genuine, resulting from a genuine interest and liking for others, as distinct from someone who tries to manipulate the situation by turning on the charm.

Are you just born confident?

Is confidence genetic? Can it disappear? Can you develop it later in life?

It can often seem that some people are just born confident. From a very young age, they are happy to explore new environments, interact with new people and try out new activities. Those who are not like this can feel that confidence is totally down to nature and genes, and there is nothing they can do about it.

However, many people who were less than confident when young subsequently develop into confident adults. Also, people who are confident most of the time can suddenly lack confidence in certain situations. So it is not just something we inherit or that is static and about which you can’t do anything.

Therefore, although some people might start off life appearing or even being more confident than others, this does not mean that the rest of us can’t and won’t become more confident in time.

The first step is to make sure you are not undermining your own confidence. Our inner dialogue can have a huge impact on how confident we feel, so there are some exercises in this e-book to help you to explore your self talk.

Developing your understanding of what helps or hinders you in feeling confident will assist you in knowing when and where to take action to boost your confidence.

There are also simple techniques that you can use to boost your confidence, especially if there are certain situations that tend to unsettle you. Using these techniques over a period of time will result in you becoming a much more confident person.

Are you too confident?

Can you become too confident?

We can probably all think of someone who is overly confident, perhaps even being unbearably arrogant or overestimating their own abilities, with resulting mistakes. You can also probably think of some individuals who are so lacking in confidence that you never get to hear what they think, so they don’t seem to contribute anything to the situation or they never stop worrying about things. It certainly appears that too much or too little confidence can have a negative impact on someone’s ability to work effectively.

It is important for us to have confidence in our ability to do tasks and undertake activities if we are to succeed. However, if we become complacent, thinking ‘I’ve done this a thousand times before and it will be fine’, we can become slipshod and not take care over what we are doing. It is therefore useful to learn how to be confident in yourself and your abilities, while still keeping on your toes and not taking it for granted that success will just happen without you making any effort or taking care.

Being appropriately confident

However, you will also know people who are very confident and wonderful to work with. They listen to others’ ideas; they support and encourage others; they celebrate other people’s successes and so on. So what is it that makes a difference and stops them from being arrogant and walking all over others? It is likely to be a mixture of many different things and will vary from individual to individual, but it might include some of the following:

  • Their personality type might mean they have an interest in other people, a natural leaning towards supporting others, building connections and relationships
  • They have a sense of humility about their own strengths and successes, which means they can celebrate these without becoming overbearing and big headed
  • They possess a genuine desire to help others realise their own potential
  • They recognise that success comes through people working together, not through competitive and uncooperative behaviour.

Can you act or seem confident even if you are not?

A lot of people get through life appearing confident, when inside they feel like a nervous wreck! However, this is not an enjoyable way of life and not the most effective way of being and working, because it can mean some or all of the following:

  • You over-prepare because you worry so much about things going wrong
  • You lose sleep the night before big presentations, meetings and so on, which means you are not on top form the next day
  • You hold back from putting forward your ideas because you think they are not valid
  • You hold back from going for promotion or a new job or your dreams because you don’t think you are good enough
  • You over-analyse situations that happen, rather than trusting your inner wisdom
  • You fail to learn from mistakes because you spend so much time beating yourself up and feeling guilty
  • You try and control things outside yourself, because you don’t feel in control of yourself
  • You are nervous of delegating as you don’t trust others and are fearful of things going wrong
  • You don’t challenge others and you doubt that your opinion counts or is right.
  • Therefore, although you can get away with it for some time, acting confident without feeling that way is not a comfortable or helpful place to be.
Be true to yourself.

It seems that just trying to appear confident does not necessarily breed true confidence. There are plenty of people who have done lots of presentations, managed people or been driving for years, but who still worry about it and are not confident in their ability to do these activities successfully.

Confidence comes from within. It is about how you think about yourself and the world around you and the impact that this has on how you feel, which in turn affects your behaviour. However much you work on appearing confident, it is therefore not going to change unless you change what is happening on the inside – how you feel. People who lack confidence but still have successes will often discount these, so they don’t end up feeling successful or more confident in their own abilities.

This blog is extracts from my e-book that you get when you sign up for one of my packages. Message me if you would like more details.

best wishes

Remember IT ALL STARTS WITH YOU.

Until next time.

Stay safe. Stay healthy.

Jon

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebookInstagram. and now TikTok.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel

Audio Version of this blog

So, this Monday April 12th we take another step closer to coming out of lockdown. It’s been over a year now and what have we learned? Well, on a personal level I have learnt that I miss interaction with people, a hug, a handshake, things that we took for granted but were suddenly taken away from us. What did you miss?

What changes did you make during lockdown? I don’t mean decorating or moving furniture around, what I mean is did you make changes in you? Did you enter lock down as one person, but will leave a different person, perhaps a better person, perhaps a more confident person. Did you do anything too improve yourself? Or will it all be exactly the same?  Having been stuck inside for so long, I’ve had people contact me saying that they don’t like the person they’ve become, they don’t like some of the habits that they’ve got into, they have started some bad patterns of behaviour, some of the new routines just won’t work when they get back to normal, whatever normal is.

Hurtful words on Social Media

This locked down bought out the best and the worst in some people. People who rarely commented on social media, suddenly found themselves arguing with total strangers, mainly down to frustration. On different social media platforms, a lot of hate was shown towards people who didn’t deserve it. Again, I can only think that these hurtful remarks were made because people were bored of their own company. However, it wasn’t all bad, neighbours helped each other more, people suddenly started walking more and becoming fitter, some people started to appreciate a lot of the workers that we overlook on a day-to-day basis retail staff, cleaners, porters, Bin men, postman etc etc. People who do their job day in, day out with very little recognition.

Did you do anything to improve your quality of life? Did you read more? Did you play with the children more? did you create memories? Perhaps, you took an online course and improved your own mind. What did you do that has made you feel better about yourself? If the answer is nothing, then there is still time. Time to improve you, time to break those patterns of behaviour, time to unlearn some of those bad habits and you can still leave this lockdown a happier stronger person.

As the saying goes, nothing changes if you don’t change.

Make a list

So, it’s time for honesty, go grab yourself a pen and a notepad. I want you to make two lists. Put a line down the middle of the page and on the left-hand column I want you to write a heading. Things I don’t like about me, on the right column put a heading things I love about me. now, this is where you have got to be really honest with yourself, I want you to take some time now writing in those columns, and I want you to be really honest with yourself, perhaps you moan too much, perhaps you’re an overthinker, perhaps you worry too much, perhaps you always look for the negatives in life. Look at your appearance, perhaps you don’t like your hair, perhaps you may be a little overweight, you might not even like your dress sense. Keep going, be brutally honest, this list is just for you. Now, add to the I love column. What do you love about you? Perhaps you make people laugh, perhaps you’re a great mum or dad, perhaps you eat healthy, you look after yourself, you like being around people and people like being around you. Now remember lots of people have trouble filling in this column, they don’t like to give themselves credit, they don’t see what other people see in them, but just step back look at the things that you have achieved, look at the difference that you have made in people’s lives, see what others see in you.

Now when you have completed those lists, I want you to start working on yourself, because all those things in that left column can be changed. If it’s your appearance, change it, update your wardrobe, change your makeup, try your hair in a different style there is so much that you can do. If it’s the way you think, change that, flip those negative thoughts look for the positives in the situation, stop worrying about things that you can’t control, stop overthinking. stop for a moment now, think about things that you have overthought in the past, now realise just how many things that you overthought actually came true. Hardly any I bet. Over thinking only affects you, if you can’t control it don’t worry about it, if it’s not your problem don’t worry about it, and don’t overthink. If you can’t control it, you can’t do a thing about it and no amount of worrying or overthinking is going to change it. now back to the list. What else could you change about you in that left column?

Sometimes we just need to take a good hard look at ourselves, stop blaming others and realise that we are not perfect. As I say to a lot of my clients it all starts with you. Think about it, if you met you at a party (when we can go) would you like you? Makes you think doesn’t it.

Now turn the page in your notebook and put the heading, gratitude list. Now, stay with me on this, because four years ago I would have said this was all la, la and tree huggy rubbish, however since I started my therapy business I start and end my day telling myself three things that I am grateful for, even the things that we just take for granted, things like clean sheets on the bed, the car on the drive, electricity to the house, the roof over my head the running water etc, etc. Everyday things that we just take for granted. To give you an idea here are just some of the things that I am grateful for, my adoption, my parents, my upbringing, my family, my health, my night’s sleep, my business. Do you get the idea? By writing these things down it makes you realise what you really have in life. My gratitude list grows as I start to see things form a different perspective and yours will too.

Find the good in you.

If any of this blog has made you think more positively about yourself, then I’m pleased. However, if you have found that your list of things that you don’t like about you it’s far too long, then ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness it is a sign of strength and change can come easy with the correct help.

Another advantage of this lockdown is that I have been working more and more online via Zoom, which means, it doesn’t matter where in the world you are, help is available. If you want to discuss anything that I’ve mentioned in this blog or would like to know more about how I our or a colleague could help you please feel free to drop me a message.

You look after yourself and take care

New this month. This blog is available as an audio (MP3) Let me know what you think or what you prefer.

best wishes

Remember IT ALL STARTS WITH YOU.

Until next time.

Stay safe. Stay healthy.

Jon

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebookInstagram. and now TikTok.

What do we want. Confidence. When do we want it? NOW!

We all need confidence and self-belief. If we don’t believe in ourselves how do we expect others to believe in us. When I speak of confidence, I am not talking about blind arrogance. Those that are overly confident fall into yet another category. There is a fine line between those two.

However, I am referring to the self-confidence needed to believe in one’s own skills, goals, and ability to succeed. When you believe in yourself you are more likely to take action. To stand up and seize the moment. And to persevere long after those who doubt themselves.

Here are 10 Reasons That Self-Confidence Leads to Success:

  • The Drive to Start Things – Confident people start things. They are not shy about striking out on a new idea even when those around them are still pondering it.
  • The Ability to Stand Up for Oneself – Confidence allows you to stand up for yourself in a fair and consistent manner. Otherwise, you may find yourself unheard or unfairly treated.
  • The Ability to Say No – Confident people have the ability to say “No” where appropriate. They do not take on unnecessary or inappropriate work or obligations.
  • The Ability to Say Yes – And at the same time, confident individuals say “Yes” to opportunity. They do not miss new options because they are shy. I have seen individuals’ pass up opportunities (even promotions) because they didn’t think they were “worthy.”
  • Confidence Overcomes Fear – Lack of confidence can lead to paralysis from fear. Fear of failure. Fear of what others think. Fear of the unknown. To succeed, you need the confidence to face and overcome your fears.
  • Believe In Themselves – Self-confidence means believing in yourself. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” He was right.
  • Set the Bar High Enough – Confident individuals set the bar high and aim high. Lack of confidence leads to weak goals, setting the bar too low, and mediocre results.
  • Stretch Your Limits – Confidence lets you know your limits and test them. By stretching your limits you increase them. You are stronger than you think.
  • Confidence Asks Questions – Confidence allows you to ask questions, even when others are silent. Confidence even lets you “ask for the job.”
  • Believe In Winning – Confident people believe in success. And more importantly, they believe in their ability to succeed.

Why Confidence Matters

Confidence helps us feel ready for life’s experiences. When we’re confident, we’re more likely to move forward with people and opportunities — not back away from them. And if things don’t work out at first, confidence helps us try again. It’s the opposite when confidence is low.

We have it all inside of us. It just gets buried. Or covered up, so we have to unearth it. Or peel back those layers. Just like an onion.

Confidence is a belief in the ability of yourself in certain aspects of life. It can involve either confidence in your appearance, talents, or achievements. Self-confidence is the belief in “self” that transcends all that you do and shows others that you know you can accomplish whatever the task is at hand.

In this blog, I will look at some of the different aspects of self-confidence and focus on why we need the confidence to be successful in life.

Why Do We Need Confidence?

Having confidence and avoiding self-sabotage is essential for several reasons. One reason is that it convinces others that we know what we are doing. People tend to trust people that they think exude confidence in themselves more than people who lack this sense of confidence. By illustrating to others that you can do the job or satisfy their request, you will be able to be more successful with your goals and business interests.

When it comes to social situations, self-confidence draws more people to you by promoting a sense of self-worth. People tend to be attracted to people who have confidence in themselves and studies prove that it even makes them seem more attractive.

Also, having self-confidence gives your mind positive self-talk about what you can do, as well. By practicing confidence on a regular basis, you will start to believe it is right and you will react with a more positive attitude to everything you do. This situation can lead to a stronger sense of achievement, even at times when you are not achieving as highly as you would like to do.

Believe in yourself.

Why Self-Belief Is More Important Than You Think

Self-Belief is linked to almost every element involved in a happy life. Self-Belief is linked to almost every element involved in a happy and fulfilling life. I highlight five key rewards of self-Belief below. Understanding these benefits is an important first step toward living your best life with confidence.

Less Fear and Anxiety

The more confident you become, the more you’ll be able to calm the voice inside you that says, “I can’t do it.” You’ll be able to unhook from your thoughts and take action in line with your values. If you’ve suffered from low self-confidence, you’re probably familiar with rumination, or the tendency to mull over worries and perceived mistakes, replaying them ad nauseam. Excessive rumination is linked to both anxiety and depression, and it can make us withdraw from the world. But by filling up your tank with confidence, you’ll be able to break the cycle of over-thinking and quiet your inner critic.

Greater Motivation 

Building confidence means taking small steps that leave a lasting sense of accomplishment. If you’ve ever learned a language, mastered a skill, reached a fitness goal, or otherwise overcome setbacks to get to where you wanted to be, you’re well on your way.

You might be thinking, “Well, sure, I was proud of my ‘A’ in Maths back in high school, but what does that have to do with anything now?” If you think back to a key accomplishment in your life, you’ll likely find that it took a lot of perseverance. If you could triumph through adversity then, you can do it in other areas of your life where you feel self-doubt.

As your confidence grows, you’ll find yourself more driven to stretch your abilities. “What-if” thoughts will still arise: “What if I fail?” “What if I embarrass myself?” But with self-assurance, those thoughts will no longer be paralyzing. Instead, you’ll be able to grin and act anyway, feeling energized by your progress in pursuing goals that mean something to you.

Yes you can

More Resilience

Confidence gives you the skills and coping methods to handle setbacks and failure. Self-Belief doesn’t mean you won’t sometimes fail. But you’ll know you can handle challenges and not be crippled by them. Even when things don’t turn out anywhere close to what you planned, you’ll be able to avoid beating yourself up. As you keep pushing yourself to try new things, you’ll start to truly understand how failure and mistakes lead to growth. An acceptance that failure is part of life will start to take root. Paradoxically, by being more willing to fail, you’ll actually succeed more — because you’re not waiting for everything to be 100 percent perfect before you act. Taking more shots will mean making more of them.

Improved Relationships

It might seem counterintuitive, but when you have more self-confidence and self-worth, you’re less focused on yourself. We’ve all been guilty of walking into a room and thinking, “They’re all looking at me. They all think I look dumpy and that every word I say is stupid.” The truth is, people are wrapped up in their own thoughts and worries. When you get out of your own head, you’ll be able to genuinely engage with others. You’ll enjoy your interactions more because you won’t be so worried about the kind of impression you’re making, and you won’t be comparing yourself to others. Your relaxed state will put others at ease as well, helping you forge deeper connections.

Self-belief can also breed deeper empathy. When you’re fully present, you’re more likely to notice that your date seems to be a little down, or that a friend in the corner looks like she needs a shoulder to cry on. When you’re not preoccupied with your own self-doubt, you can be the person who reaches out to help others.

Stronger Sense of Your Authentic Self

Finally, confidence roots you in who you really are. You’ll be able to accept your weaknesses, knowing they don’t change your self-worth. You’ll also be able to celebrate your strengths and use them more fully.

Your actions will be in line with your principles, giving you a greater sense of purpose. You’ll know who you are and what you stand for. You’ll have the skills to show up, stand up, and speak up. In other words, you’ll be able to let your best self shine through.

A Few Action Steps

Write down a favourite confidence quote and put it somewhere you’ll see it often. I do this all the time.

Do you have a photograph of a time you felt confident and successful? It could be a graduation photo, a picture of you as a kid after you learned to ride a bike or anything else that resonates with you. Hang it on your fridge or bathroom mirror, and reflect on all the steps it took to get to that point.

If you still need help. I offer packages for both men and women to bring out that confidence. Visit. www.jonadkin.com/packages to find out more.

Want to know more? Contact me or a hypnotherapist near you. Don’t let a fear or phobia control your life.

Until next time.
Stay safe. Stay happy.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Are you happy?

If I asked if you were happy, what would you say? How would you answer? No one likes admitting they are not happy. People associate a lot of feelings and sensations with happiness. Excitement, thrill, joy, ecstasy, exhilaration, victory, inner peace, or satisfaction to name a few…

What words describe happiness for you?

What does it feel like in your body when you’re happy? Is it possible to be a happy person even when you don’t feel good? Maybe your back’s been bothering you, or you had an argument with someone? Do you have to have a sense of elation, excitement, or euphoria to be happy? Can you keep up these intense emotions non stop?

Can you separate the state of inner happiness from other sensations like sadness, frustration, or tiredness? I ask these questions, not to get right or wrong answers, but to get you thinking about what happiness means to you.

Happiness is a word we hear comonly, but unless we spend a little time contemplating what it means to us, we sort of bob along like a cork on the ocean. With awareness, though, we can make course corrections and have more control over our direction.

A happy person is someone who often experiences positive emotions, such as joy, interest, and pride. They experience negative emotions too, but less frequently. This isn’t to say happy people are free from negative or painful emotions. They still experience negative emotions, but they have a different relationship to them.

Are you happy? or do you fake it?

Think about these two key points:

Happier people spend more time in positive emotions and less time in negative emotions than unhappy people. Shift your balance toward happiness by managing your state. You’re in charge of your emotions. Your emotions aren’t in charge of you. As much as possible, spend time preparing how you’re going to react to what your day might bring you.

When negative emotions hit, how long are you going to let them stay?

Stuffing down negative emotions or refusing to accept their presence isn’t any more helpful than getting stuck in them, so how do you want to interact with them? Happier people don’t let their negative emotions define them. The human experience involves feeling a range of multiple emotions. But emotions come and go, and an emotional state isn’t the same as who we you are as a being.

You feel hurt, but you’re not a hurt person. You feel angry, but you’re not an angry person. You feel depressed, but you’re not a depressed person. At least not at your core. You may have adopted a label of a hurt, angry, or depressed person, but that’s not how you were created.

Those are labels you’ve been carrying around. You may have attached the labels so early, that you’re certain it’s “who you are”, but consider the possibility that you’re none of those things. This piece talks about peeling off those old labels: What You’re Telling Yourself About Your Life is Wrong. Peel off the Label and See it Differently

It’s ok to experience more than one state at a time. Don’t you feel both scared and excited before you get on a roller coaster? Can’t you feel both elated and exhausted after a major accomplishment? Happy people know, even if they’re feeling some sadness or anger or other emotion at the moment, they’re still an underlying happy person.

I can finally say I am a happy person. I’m a happy person because that’s who I am at the core of my being. Some days are more fun than others. Some days my body doesn’t feel its best. But those are ripples on the surface. At the deepest part lies happiness. I’m not depending on have feelings of euphoria. Happiness for me is peaceful sense of satisfaction and gratitude. Happiness is a skill. There’s a formula for it. That formula comes more easily to some than to others, but there’s no doubt that you can master the skills for happiness too.

Have You Trained Yourself to be Unhappy?
Your habits are determining if you have a happy and satisfying life or not. The great news is you choose and form your own outcome.

You make your own future.

Here are some rules of happiness.

Rule 1 – Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself!
Self-pity is the very worst kind of emotion. It destroys
everything around itself, and leaves you feeling powerless.
Stop being the victim, stop feeling sorry for yourself – and be
happy.
Rule 2 – Be Grateful
The world is so fast-paced that we’re rarely grateful of its gifts.
Think of all the things you’re grateful for right now: family,
health, home, everything. Spend time being grateful each day
– and be happy.
Rule 3 – Say Yes More
We each say “No!” way too often. Try saying “Yes!” more to
all of life’s experiences. Don’t fight the river’s current. Say
“Yes!” more to emotions, situations, social invitations – and be
happy.

Rule 4 – Follow Your Bliss
In life, we often find ourselves half-way up a ladder we don’t
want to climb, rather than at the bottom of one we do. What
do you really want to be? Follow your own bliss – and be
happy.
Rule 5 – Learn to Let Go
Emotions often hold us back from true happiness and
freedom. Remember, you are not your emotions. Let go of
unwanted emotions by asking yourself “Can I let this go?” Do
it – and be happy.
Rule 6 – Do Random Acts of Kindness
Being kind is double-edged. It makes you feel happier, and
spreads that joy to someone else too. Do more Random Acts
of Kindness every day – smile, hold open a door, pay for a
coffee – and be happy.
Rule 7 – Happiness Is Only Ever Now
Most of us spend our time anywhere but in the present. We
obsess about the past, or plan for the future. Now is the only
time that really exists. Make the decision to be happy – now.
Rule 8 – Experience, Don’t Hoard!
Research shows that material purchases only boost your
happiness levels temporarily. Experiences bring more overall
joy. Enjoy safari holidays, learn a language, join a dancing
group – and be happy.

Rule 9 – Appreciate Both Sides of the Coin
How many times do we try to embrace happiness – and reject
sadness? They’re both sides of the same coin. You cannot have
one without the other. Sadness is critical. Don’t fight it – and
be happy.
Rule 10 – Be More Social
Extensive research shows that the happiest and most
successful people are those with large social networks. How
many friends do you have? Be proactive, start making more –
and become happier.
Rule 11 – Love More!
The more you love, the happier you are. Try giving everyone
and everything around you a little more love. Friends, family,
nature, even enemies: open your heart, give them love – and
be happy.
Rule 12 – Have a Dream
Dreams are the spark plugs of the spirit. They give each day
excitement and enable you to move forward. What are your
dreams? Think about it, write them down. Then do them –
and be happy.
Rule 13 – Intention Sets Direction
The outcome you expect is usually the one you receive. If you
don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.
So, set a great intention in everything you do – and be happy.

Rule 14 – Enjoy Simple Pleasures
Real happiness can be found in simple pleasures and rituals.
From a daily walk in nearby countryside to a glass of wine
after work. Indulge in these, setup your own little rituals – and
be happy.
Rule 15 – Accept What Is
Many of us spend time resisting what is. We fight against our
own emotions, building up anger and resentment. Accept
what is right now. Change it if you can. But accept it first – and
be happy.
Rule 16 – Exercise and Eat Well
You are as happy as your lifestyle! For optimum happiness,
try walking for 40 minutes a day. Take Omega 3 supplements,
and eat more fish, nuts, turkey, cottage cheese. Enjoy – and be
happy.
Rule 17 – Zoom Out and Don’t Sweat
We often get a fresh perspective on life after we lose a family
member, or survive an illness. Don’t wait for life to remind
you. Zoom out and remember your real priorities now – and
be happy.
Rule 18 – Laugh, Dance, Smile!
Take time to laugh at the craziness of life! Splash out and enjoy
to the max. Surround yourself with happiness – wonderful
music, dance classes, evenings with friends. Smile – and be
happy!

That’s 18 rules of happiness. I want you to send me two more so that you have 20 rules. What works for you? I would love to hear.

Until next week.

Stay happy and smile more.

Take care and stay safe.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.