What do we want. Confidence. When do we want it? NOW!

We all need confidence and self-belief. If we don’t believe in ourselves how do we expect others to believe in us. When I speak of confidence, I am not talking about blind arrogance. Those that are overly confident fall into yet another category. There is a fine line between those two.

However, I am referring to the self-confidence needed to believe in one’s own skills, goals, and ability to succeed. When you believe in yourself you are more likely to take action. To stand up and seize the moment. And to persevere long after those who doubt themselves.

Here are 10 Reasons That Self-Confidence Leads to Success:

  • The Drive to Start Things – Confident people start things. They are not shy about striking out on a new idea even when those around them are still pondering it.
  • The Ability to Stand Up for Oneself – Confidence allows you to stand up for yourself in a fair and consistent manner. Otherwise, you may find yourself unheard or unfairly treated.
  • The Ability to Say No – Confident people have the ability to say “No” where appropriate. They do not take on unnecessary or inappropriate work or obligations.
  • The Ability to Say Yes – And at the same time, confident individuals say “Yes” to opportunity. They do not miss new options because they are shy. I have seen individuals’ pass up opportunities (even promotions) because they didn’t think they were “worthy.”
  • Confidence Overcomes Fear – Lack of confidence can lead to paralysis from fear. Fear of failure. Fear of what others think. Fear of the unknown. To succeed, you need the confidence to face and overcome your fears.
  • Believe In Themselves – Self-confidence means believing in yourself. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” He was right.
  • Set the Bar High Enough – Confident individuals set the bar high and aim high. Lack of confidence leads to weak goals, setting the bar too low, and mediocre results.
  • Stretch Your Limits – Confidence lets you know your limits and test them. By stretching your limits you increase them. You are stronger than you think.
  • Confidence Asks Questions – Confidence allows you to ask questions, even when others are silent. Confidence even lets you “ask for the job.”
  • Believe In Winning – Confident people believe in success. And more importantly, they believe in their ability to succeed.

Why Confidence Matters

Confidence helps us feel ready for life’s experiences. When we’re confident, we’re more likely to move forward with people and opportunities — not back away from them. And if things don’t work out at first, confidence helps us try again. It’s the opposite when confidence is low.

We have it all inside of us. It just gets buried. Or covered up, so we have to unearth it. Or peel back those layers. Just like an onion.

Confidence is a belief in the ability of yourself in certain aspects of life. It can involve either confidence in your appearance, talents, or achievements. Self-confidence is the belief in “self” that transcends all that you do and shows others that you know you can accomplish whatever the task is at hand.

In this blog, I will look at some of the different aspects of self-confidence and focus on why we need the confidence to be successful in life.

Why Do We Need Confidence?

Having confidence and avoiding self-sabotage is essential for several reasons. One reason is that it convinces others that we know what we are doing. People tend to trust people that they think exude confidence in themselves more than people who lack this sense of confidence. By illustrating to others that you can do the job or satisfy their request, you will be able to be more successful with your goals and business interests.

When it comes to social situations, self-confidence draws more people to you by promoting a sense of self-worth. People tend to be attracted to people who have confidence in themselves and studies prove that it even makes them seem more attractive.

Also, having self-confidence gives your mind positive self-talk about what you can do, as well. By practicing confidence on a regular basis, you will start to believe it is right and you will react with a more positive attitude to everything you do. This situation can lead to a stronger sense of achievement, even at times when you are not achieving as highly as you would like to do.

Believe in yourself.

Why Self-Belief Is More Important Than You Think

Self-Belief is linked to almost every element involved in a happy life. Self-Belief is linked to almost every element involved in a happy and fulfilling life. I highlight five key rewards of self-Belief below. Understanding these benefits is an important first step toward living your best life with confidence.

Less Fear and Anxiety

The more confident you become, the more you’ll be able to calm the voice inside you that says, “I can’t do it.” You’ll be able to unhook from your thoughts and take action in line with your values. If you’ve suffered from low self-confidence, you’re probably familiar with rumination, or the tendency to mull over worries and perceived mistakes, replaying them ad nauseam. Excessive rumination is linked to both anxiety and depression, and it can make us withdraw from the world. But by filling up your tank with confidence, you’ll be able to break the cycle of over-thinking and quiet your inner critic.

Greater Motivation 

Building confidence means taking small steps that leave a lasting sense of accomplishment. If you’ve ever learned a language, mastered a skill, reached a fitness goal, or otherwise overcome setbacks to get to where you wanted to be, you’re well on your way.

You might be thinking, “Well, sure, I was proud of my ‘A’ in Maths back in high school, but what does that have to do with anything now?” If you think back to a key accomplishment in your life, you’ll likely find that it took a lot of perseverance. If you could triumph through adversity then, you can do it in other areas of your life where you feel self-doubt.

As your confidence grows, you’ll find yourself more driven to stretch your abilities. “What-if” thoughts will still arise: “What if I fail?” “What if I embarrass myself?” But with self-assurance, those thoughts will no longer be paralyzing. Instead, you’ll be able to grin and act anyway, feeling energized by your progress in pursuing goals that mean something to you.

Yes you can

More Resilience

Confidence gives you the skills and coping methods to handle setbacks and failure. Self-Belief doesn’t mean you won’t sometimes fail. But you’ll know you can handle challenges and not be crippled by them. Even when things don’t turn out anywhere close to what you planned, you’ll be able to avoid beating yourself up. As you keep pushing yourself to try new things, you’ll start to truly understand how failure and mistakes lead to growth. An acceptance that failure is part of life will start to take root. Paradoxically, by being more willing to fail, you’ll actually succeed more — because you’re not waiting for everything to be 100 percent perfect before you act. Taking more shots will mean making more of them.

Improved Relationships

It might seem counterintuitive, but when you have more self-confidence and self-worth, you’re less focused on yourself. We’ve all been guilty of walking into a room and thinking, “They’re all looking at me. They all think I look dumpy and that every word I say is stupid.” The truth is, people are wrapped up in their own thoughts and worries. When you get out of your own head, you’ll be able to genuinely engage with others. You’ll enjoy your interactions more because you won’t be so worried about the kind of impression you’re making, and you won’t be comparing yourself to others. Your relaxed state will put others at ease as well, helping you forge deeper connections.

Self-belief can also breed deeper empathy. When you’re fully present, you’re more likely to notice that your date seems to be a little down, or that a friend in the corner looks like she needs a shoulder to cry on. When you’re not preoccupied with your own self-doubt, you can be the person who reaches out to help others.

Stronger Sense of Your Authentic Self

Finally, confidence roots you in who you really are. You’ll be able to accept your weaknesses, knowing they don’t change your self-worth. You’ll also be able to celebrate your strengths and use them more fully.

Your actions will be in line with your principles, giving you a greater sense of purpose. You’ll know who you are and what you stand for. You’ll have the skills to show up, stand up, and speak up. In other words, you’ll be able to let your best self shine through.

A Few Action Steps

Write down a favourite confidence quote and put it somewhere you’ll see it often. I do this all the time.

Do you have a photograph of a time you felt confident and successful? It could be a graduation photo, a picture of you as a kid after you learned to ride a bike or anything else that resonates with you. Hang it on your fridge or bathroom mirror, and reflect on all the steps it took to get to that point.

If you still need help. I offer packages for both men and women to bring out that confidence. Visit. www.jonadkin.com/packages to find out more.

Want to know more? Contact me or a hypnotherapist near you. Don’t let a fear or phobia control your life.

Until next time.
Stay safe. Stay happy.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Are you happy?

If I asked if you were happy, what would you say? How would you answer? No one likes admitting they are not happy. People associate a lot of feelings and sensations with happiness. Excitement, thrill, joy, ecstasy, exhilaration, victory, inner peace, or satisfaction to name a few…

What words describe happiness for you?

What does it feel like in your body when you’re happy? Is it possible to be a happy person even when you don’t feel good? Maybe your back’s been bothering you, or you had an argument with someone? Do you have to have a sense of elation, excitement, or euphoria to be happy? Can you keep up these intense emotions non stop?

Can you separate the state of inner happiness from other sensations like sadness, frustration, or tiredness? I ask these questions, not to get right or wrong answers, but to get you thinking about what happiness means to you.

Happiness is a word we hear comonly, but unless we spend a little time contemplating what it means to us, we sort of bob along like a cork on the ocean. With awareness, though, we can make course corrections and have more control over our direction.

A happy person is someone who often experiences positive emotions, such as joy, interest, and pride. They experience negative emotions too, but less frequently. This isn’t to say happy people are free from negative or painful emotions. They still experience negative emotions, but they have a different relationship to them.

Are you happy? or do you fake it?

Think about these two key points:

Happier people spend more time in positive emotions and less time in negative emotions than unhappy people. Shift your balance toward happiness by managing your state. You’re in charge of your emotions. Your emotions aren’t in charge of you. As much as possible, spend time preparing how you’re going to react to what your day might bring you.

When negative emotions hit, how long are you going to let them stay?

Stuffing down negative emotions or refusing to accept their presence isn’t any more helpful than getting stuck in them, so how do you want to interact with them? Happier people don’t let their negative emotions define them. The human experience involves feeling a range of multiple emotions. But emotions come and go, and an emotional state isn’t the same as who we you are as a being.

You feel hurt, but you’re not a hurt person. You feel angry, but you’re not an angry person. You feel depressed, but you’re not a depressed person. At least not at your core. You may have adopted a label of a hurt, angry, or depressed person, but that’s not how you were created.

Those are labels you’ve been carrying around. You may have attached the labels so early, that you’re certain it’s “who you are”, but consider the possibility that you’re none of those things. This piece talks about peeling off those old labels: What You’re Telling Yourself About Your Life is Wrong. Peel off the Label and See it Differently

It’s ok to experience more than one state at a time. Don’t you feel both scared and excited before you get on a roller coaster? Can’t you feel both elated and exhausted after a major accomplishment? Happy people know, even if they’re feeling some sadness or anger or other emotion at the moment, they’re still an underlying happy person.

I can finally say I am a happy person. I’m a happy person because that’s who I am at the core of my being. Some days are more fun than others. Some days my body doesn’t feel its best. But those are ripples on the surface. At the deepest part lies happiness. I’m not depending on have feelings of euphoria. Happiness for me is peaceful sense of satisfaction and gratitude. Happiness is a skill. There’s a formula for it. That formula comes more easily to some than to others, but there’s no doubt that you can master the skills for happiness too.

Have You Trained Yourself to be Unhappy?
Your habits are determining if you have a happy and satisfying life or not. The great news is you choose and form your own outcome.

You make your own future.

Here are some rules of happiness.

Rule 1 – Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself!
Self-pity is the very worst kind of emotion. It destroys
everything around itself, and leaves you feeling powerless.
Stop being the victim, stop feeling sorry for yourself – and be
happy.
Rule 2 – Be Grateful
The world is so fast-paced that we’re rarely grateful of its gifts.
Think of all the things you’re grateful for right now: family,
health, home, everything. Spend time being grateful each day
– and be happy.
Rule 3 – Say Yes More
We each say “No!” way too often. Try saying “Yes!” more to
all of life’s experiences. Don’t fight the river’s current. Say
“Yes!” more to emotions, situations, social invitations – and be
happy.

Rule 4 – Follow Your Bliss
In life, we often find ourselves half-way up a ladder we don’t
want to climb, rather than at the bottom of one we do. What
do you really want to be? Follow your own bliss – and be
happy.
Rule 5 – Learn to Let Go
Emotions often hold us back from true happiness and
freedom. Remember, you are not your emotions. Let go of
unwanted emotions by asking yourself “Can I let this go?” Do
it – and be happy.
Rule 6 – Do Random Acts of Kindness
Being kind is double-edged. It makes you feel happier, and
spreads that joy to someone else too. Do more Random Acts
of Kindness every day – smile, hold open a door, pay for a
coffee – and be happy.
Rule 7 – Happiness Is Only Ever Now
Most of us spend our time anywhere but in the present. We
obsess about the past, or plan for the future. Now is the only
time that really exists. Make the decision to be happy – now.
Rule 8 – Experience, Don’t Hoard!
Research shows that material purchases only boost your
happiness levels temporarily. Experiences bring more overall
joy. Enjoy safari holidays, learn a language, join a dancing
group – and be happy.

Rule 9 – Appreciate Both Sides of the Coin
How many times do we try to embrace happiness – and reject
sadness? They’re both sides of the same coin. You cannot have
one without the other. Sadness is critical. Don’t fight it – and
be happy.
Rule 10 – Be More Social
Extensive research shows that the happiest and most
successful people are those with large social networks. How
many friends do you have? Be proactive, start making more –
and become happier.
Rule 11 – Love More!
The more you love, the happier you are. Try giving everyone
and everything around you a little more love. Friends, family,
nature, even enemies: open your heart, give them love – and
be happy.
Rule 12 – Have a Dream
Dreams are the spark plugs of the spirit. They give each day
excitement and enable you to move forward. What are your
dreams? Think about it, write them down. Then do them –
and be happy.
Rule 13 – Intention Sets Direction
The outcome you expect is usually the one you receive. If you
don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.
So, set a great intention in everything you do – and be happy.

Rule 14 – Enjoy Simple Pleasures
Real happiness can be found in simple pleasures and rituals.
From a daily walk in nearby countryside to a glass of wine
after work. Indulge in these, setup your own little rituals – and
be happy.
Rule 15 – Accept What Is
Many of us spend time resisting what is. We fight against our
own emotions, building up anger and resentment. Accept
what is right now. Change it if you can. But accept it first – and
be happy.
Rule 16 – Exercise and Eat Well
You are as happy as your lifestyle! For optimum happiness,
try walking for 40 minutes a day. Take Omega 3 supplements,
and eat more fish, nuts, turkey, cottage cheese. Enjoy – and be
happy.
Rule 17 – Zoom Out and Don’t Sweat
We often get a fresh perspective on life after we lose a family
member, or survive an illness. Don’t wait for life to remind
you. Zoom out and remember your real priorities now – and
be happy.
Rule 18 – Laugh, Dance, Smile!
Take time to laugh at the craziness of life! Splash out and enjoy
to the max. Surround yourself with happiness – wonderful
music, dance classes, evenings with friends. Smile – and be
happy!

That’s 18 rules of happiness. I want you to send me two more so that you have 20 rules. What works for you? I would love to hear.

Until next week.

Stay happy and smile more.

Take care and stay safe.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Just checking in

Hi. A different type of blog today. I’ve noticed that the lock down is starting to take it’s toll on some people. So today I want to offer you a weekly mental health check in.

Feelings.

Set an alarm on your phone, or a reminder in your calendar, so at a set time each week you can quickly do a check in on a scale from 0(‘not at all’) to 10 (‘extremely’) of how stressed, anxious or down you are feeling.

Body

Take a moment to notice any tension in your body like tight shoulders, chest or jaws. Other signs that you might be feeling stressed include dryness of the mouth, difficulty breathing, and a racing heart.

Sleep

If you are constantly struggling to get to sleep, waking in the night,waking earlier than usual and/or finding it difficult to get back to sleep, these are signs your mind is unable to switch off and relax.

Thoughts

Are you worrying about the worst-case scenarios? Focusing on the ‘what-if’ scenarios is not useful and is best to try to limit this as much as possibe.

Reactions and behaviour

If you find yourself frequently snapping at those you love, finding it extremely difficult to focus, or always depending on things like alcohol or food to cope. It is time to prioritise your mental wellbeing.

Check in buddy

Choose a check in buddy. This may be your partner, housemate or even a friend or colleague you’re keeping in touch with via social media or face time etc. Be honest with yourself and with them about how you are coping.

I sadly can’t see you one to one at the moment but I am offering Online sessions if you need that little bit of extra help.

Be kind to others.

How we can cope with lock down.

We are social animals, So how will we stop getting lonely and crazy as we distance ourselves socially and self-isolate? Well, our first motto should be: “Don’t waste a crisis!” If we are imaginative, we will find silver linings in these very dark clouds. We can experiment with new ways of living. These won’t just help us cope with the emergency. they actually can help us to enjoy it.

Virtual coffees, lunches and dinners

Using face time or What’s app create a group and have a coffee morning. Have a good old chat, moan and more importantly a laugh.

Sing and dance

The Italians are keeping their spirits up by singing from their balconies. But they don’t have a monopoly on bel canto. or how about remote dancing. Friends in Italy are already using an app called House Party to have virtual parties. let’s use the technology for good.

On yer bike

Public transport isn’t safe. So for short distances, why not walk? And for middling distances,as part of your daily exercise, why not bike? It’s also a good way to keep fit.

Virtual gyms

So many personal trainers are offering work outs for all ages and all fitness levels. Find one that suits you and make it a routine.

Enjoy some happy memories

Time to reflect

Most people’s lives are dictated by routines: take the kids to school, rush to work, endless emails, get home, crash. The rat race isn’t great. But sitting around home twiddling our thumbs won’t be much fun either. So we need new routines.

Every morning, I have started to say out loud 5 things I am grateful for. Every evening I do the same and think why they are meaningful. These habits provide bookends to my day and help me make the most of what happens in between. I’ve also used my music streaming service and I’m listening to all the albums that made a mark on my life. (boy, some of them are crap when you re-listen), but that is what makes it a great thing to do.

Deepen our friendships

Much of the time, we’re too busy to think deeply about our friends and family. But now we’ll have more time. We can use some of it to think about what our loved ones really need and then help them get it… remotely. this time also shows who the true friends are. The ones who check in on you, the ones who make you smile. The ones who care.

Enjoy a good book

Virtual book groups

People will also have time to read. But that can be a lonely activity – and we get more intellectual stimulation if we share our ideas with others. How about when you finish a book, type out your thoughts and send them to friends to provoke discussion. Why not go further and organise virtual book groups?

Connect with far-away friends

Just because you’re not in the same room doesn’t mean you can’t have a deep friendship. Indeed, the virus offers an opportunity to connect with those who live far away. After all, if you are distancing yourself physically from others, it doesn’t matter whether they are in London, Cayman or Milan. The more we reach across the world and show we care for one another, the more we’ll help defeat that other terrible virus: nationalism.

Other people will have different ideas about how to make the most of this virus crisis. We can all experience the pleasure of inventing and experimenting with new ways of living.

Until next week. Stay safe, stay healthy.

Best wishes

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Don’t let your thoughts ruin your Christmas.

Hi. Welcome back to my last post of 2019. What a year it’s been. Ups and downs and a few surprises thrown in. However with all that I survived mine and you survived yours if you are reading this. so well done. The good bits hold in your heart the bad bits let them go. if you made mistakes, learn from them. if they weren’t your problem then don’t worry about it and just move on.

For my last blog I want to conclude my posts on  self confidence.

I am a great believer in positive thinking and self belief and daily affirmations have helped me so much. Remember what we say to ourselves we believe, our mind believes so think positive and you will stay positive.

Here are some quotes and affirmations that I would like to share with you for Christmas.

Self-Confidence Quotes

One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.

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Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment.

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Don’t let others put thoughts into your mind that takes away your self-confidence.
To excel at the highest level – or any level,

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you need to believe in yourself,

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Always be yourself and have faith in yourself.

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Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

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Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do and, at some point, you will.

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Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.

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Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

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As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

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Confidence is when you believe in yourself and your abilities, arrogance is when you think you are better than others and act accordingly.

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The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence .

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Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?

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To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.

Daily Affirmations

I believe in me.

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I’m getting stronger every day.

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I can do this.

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I am who I want to be

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I know my worth

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I’ve decided I’m good enough.

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I have the strength to change my story.

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I deserve to be happy and loved.

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I accept myself unconditionally.

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I love myself, and I accept myself as I am.

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I am confident.

When you get up in the morning choose an affirmation and smile at yourself in the mirror and say it to yourself. It’s a simple and powerful way to start your day.

Merry Christmas and I sincerely wish you all the very best for 2020.

See you in January. Have a good one.

Jon XX

These last few posts have been taken from my book ‘Can I Change?‘ Available from Amazon .It makes an ideal stocking filler.

 

Confidence. A Christmas gift for you.

Hi

Welcome back. This week I want to share some tips that will help you gain some of that confidence that you may feel you need.

Habits That Make You Feel Positive and Confident

Make a decision. Don’t consult with a friend about what to order at  dinner or call your spouse when shopping for groceries. Make a decision based on what your gut is telling you. It will make you feel stronger and allows you to practice trusting your inner voice.

Try something new. Confidence doesn’t come from perfection, it comes from effort.

Gently exercise. Exercise is the most important non-medicine           treatment for anxiety, depression, and insomnia. Just moving your body will break up negative thoughts and boost serotonin. Move your body every day, just be mindful of your energy and never overdo it. A seven minute workout or yoga in your living room will all work.

Clean up your news feed. Social media that is full of triggers, images, and updates can push you into a bad mood. Start following inspirational or “happy” accounts. HealthyPlace on Facebook or my Guidance Girl page always inspires. The more positive images you view the better you will feel.

Think back. Think back over the past week and write down every nice thing others said to you. Review the complements or comments when you’re feeling insecure.

Make a happy playlist. Music can  physiologically changes your brain and body. It can make you breathe faster, increase your pulse, and make you smile. Songs with a quick tempo and uplifting lyrics have been shown to be more effective at bringing out happy emotions. One of my favourites is ‘Happy’ by Pharrell. What are a few on your playlist?

Say no. Don’t say yes when you want to say no. You’re letting yourself down if you do favours you don’t want to do. Next time someone asks for something that will make you feel funky, and you feel the urge to say “yes,” remind yourself they are asking, not ordering. You will respect yourself more later on.

Practice posture. Hunching over at your desk can make you less        confident and more insecure according to research from Ohio State   University. Pull your belly button in towards your spine and pull your shoulders back when sitting or standing.

Give yourself credit for small, daily accomplishments, even if you are not done. Did you work on cleaning up your closet but still have stacks of clothes to fold? Great, take a moment to focus on what you have done, don’t just wait until a project is finished.

Get grateful. Write a thank-you note, or call someone to say thanks for meeting with you for lunch last week. People who are mindful of the positives in their life, create more positive energy. Comment on a post you like, email a friend, or even write down what you are grateful for in the moment (try and think of 5 new ones each time).

Remember, small shifts can produce remarkable results. The intention of building more positive thoughts and experiences will undoubtedly increase your self-confidence and self-esteem. One of my favourite  affirmations that may help is:

 

“I am perfectly imperfect.

I strive for better while loving all that I am today.

In loving myself today, I am better equipped to

improve myself tomorrow.”

Change2

Can I do it?

Self-Efficacy “You Can Do It – You’ve Got What It Takes, or Can Get What It Takes!”

Self-efficacy is where we believe that it is possible for us to acquire the knowledge and skills that will enable us to achieve goals and success. It enables us to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of        setbacks and adversity. The opposite of self-efficacy is feelings like, you are not bright enough, or you are not educated enough, you didn’t go to the right school or university, or you are lacking anything, that you use as an excuse to justify your belief, that you can’t do it, you’ve not got what it takes, and you can’t get what it takes.

Self-Esteem “You Matter as Much as Anyone Else, You Deserve it, and You Can Cope with Anything!”

Self-esteem, is the belief that we matter, that we are important, in fact as important as anyone else, and that in general terms, we can cope with pretty much whatever life throws at us, and that we have a right to be happy and successful. Our self-esteem is helped, if others around us, approve of us and what we do; but it also helped, if we feel we are     behaving virtuously, and also that we are competent and skilled at what we do, and that we have the ability to accomplish things we want to, when we put our minds to it.

Positive Self-Image “You are Good Enough in All Respects Just as You Are!”

Dr Maxwell Maltz, wrote a book called Psycho-Cybernetics, which has helped millions of people. Dr Maltz was a plastic surgeon, who regularly positively impacted people’s physical appearance with his plastic        surgery. He observed the difference between people who had a positive perception of their physical changes, and how that positive perception could massively improve their success and happiness in life, and those who had a negative or unchanging perception of their appearance. In the case of the latter, nothing changed in their life. Our self-image, can have a massive impact on our self-confidence, and on the outcomes we achieve in our careers and lives.

14 Ways To Shed Negativity And Achieve Happiness

How many of us feel complete self-love and self-compassion? How many of us take care of our own needs and rely on the way we look at         ourselves instead of seeing who we are through the eyes of our partners or our tribe? How many of us live from our core beliefs instead of living through what everyone is expecting of us?

Learning self-love and overcoming the barriers you’ve built against   yourself are the greatest secrets to living happily. Self-love can bring you closer to inner truth and allow you to attract and create the happiness you deserve in your relationship, career, and life. Self-love will bring peace, love, fulfilment, satisfaction, significance, groundedness,         freedom, maturity, wisdom, and magic into your life.

Change

Here are 14 self-love steps that you can begin today to attract the love and happiness you want in your life:

 

  1. Get to know who you are.

Imagine yourself walking down the street with each one of your values. How do you feel? What do you notice? How are you expressing yourself? This will help you identify yourself through your own eyes instead of through the eyes of others.

  1. Be true to yourself. 

You can only speak your truth and express who you are when you are 100% honest with yourself first. Sometimes we discover things we don’t necessarily like about ourselves, but you can spend your life complaining about your weaknesses, or you can choose to shift your attention to your strengths.

  1. Take care of your needs.

We often do what others need so we can feel good about ourselves through the way they react to our action. This causes us to live our lives through the eyes of others and not from our core. Instead, take a look at what your needs are. What is the ONE thing you can do today that would make you feel more loved? For example, you can cook for      yourself, take a hot bubble bath, meditate, clean your room, or go wild listening to your favourite band.

  1. Learn to breathe.

We have a tendency to pressure ourselves into doing things quickly. Step back a little bit and watch yourself in action. What is the worst thing that could happen if you don’t get your tasks done immediately? Would you rather stay overwhelmed or would you rather enjoy your journey as you are completing your tasks?

  1. Be patient with yourself.

Have self-compassion. Your role models probably worked their butt off to get to where they are now, so be patient, take your journey step-by-step, and enjoy how life is unfolding for you. You miss out on so much in life when you beat yourself up. Patience is key to discovering the beauty of the mystery that every moment brings to you.

  1. Listen to your inner child.

The inner child is a very powerful voice that resides deep in our being. It is the voice of the needs that have not been met ever since we were kids. It talks to us about fear, hurt, and the safety that it is longing for and the love that it hungers for. So when you are in a challenging situation, step back for a moment and ask your inner child, “What is really hurting me right now? What do I really want?”

  1. Count your blessings.

We all have SO many blessings in our lives that we tend to take them for granted. Count every single thing you have in your life and be thankful for it. It could be as simple as being grateful for drinking water whenever you want. Practicing gratitude helps us find more meaning and appreciation in our everyday life.

  1. Accept your feelings.

Pain is part of life, and accepting what you feel right now is the first step towards your happiness. You may be angry and in so much pain, you might be regretting what you have done in the past. Allowing yourself to feel helps you identify the root cause of your disappointment and the moment you understand this feeling, you shift towards discovering what you want in life and how to get it.

  1. Do one act of kindness everyday.

Say something nice to a colleague or family member and show appreciation to people around you. This is a great way to start acknowledging the goodness in yourself and reflecting it in others.

  1. Build your support system.

You don’t have to hang out with people who don’t make you feel good about yourself. You have a choice, so find people who think like you, who are positive, who show support, who are grateful, and who reflect the quality that you want to have in your life.

  1. Work with your fears.

We all have fears that have been engraved within us ever since our childhood. Understanding your fears and allowing them to surface will help you work through them. When you repress and reject your fears because of unrealistic expectations of being perfect that society imposes on us, you will be granting more power and control to your fears.

  1. Recognize the love that is within you.

You are made of of love, you are love, and love rules Earth. No matter how much you try to beat yourself up or indirectly hurt others, know that in your heart you are seeking love in every moment you live. The only guarantee you have in life is that you can give love without expecting anything in return. Be the love that you want to experience in your life and in your relationship.

  1. Forgive and let go of the past.

Beating yourself up and blaming your unhappiness on the past will trigger more suffering in your life. You know you have a purpose in your life, so you have a choice: let the past haunt you and inflict more suffering in your life, or forgive yourself.

  1. Smile.

Smiling is healing for the heart, the mind and the body. Certain experiences can bring a smile to our face, and sometimes a smile can truly shift a negative emotion to a positive one. It is a simple way to heal yourself and bring a smile to other people’s faces.

You can stop and overcome the barriers that are preventing you from getting what you want. You are strong and you are love in your own   nature, so how are you going to use these strengths to create the happy life and loving relationship you want?

Next week I will share some Affirmations and some powerful quotes that have certainly helped me over the years.

Have a great week

Jon X

Want to read more or keep tips like this to hand. Buy my book ‘Can I change‘ From Amazon.