What do we want. Confidence. When do we want it? NOW!

We all need confidence and self-belief. If we don’t believe in ourselves how do we expect others to believe in us. When I speak of confidence, I am not talking about blind arrogance. Those that are overly confident fall into yet another category. There is a fine line between those two.

However, I am referring to the self-confidence needed to believe in one’s own skills, goals, and ability to succeed. When you believe in yourself you are more likely to take action. To stand up and seize the moment. And to persevere long after those who doubt themselves.

Here are 10 Reasons That Self-Confidence Leads to Success:

  • The Drive to Start Things – Confident people start things. They are not shy about striking out on a new idea even when those around them are still pondering it.
  • The Ability to Stand Up for Oneself – Confidence allows you to stand up for yourself in a fair and consistent manner. Otherwise, you may find yourself unheard or unfairly treated.
  • The Ability to Say No – Confident people have the ability to say “No” where appropriate. They do not take on unnecessary or inappropriate work or obligations.
  • The Ability to Say Yes – And at the same time, confident individuals say “Yes” to opportunity. They do not miss new options because they are shy. I have seen individuals’ pass up opportunities (even promotions) because they didn’t think they were “worthy.”
  • Confidence Overcomes Fear – Lack of confidence can lead to paralysis from fear. Fear of failure. Fear of what others think. Fear of the unknown. To succeed, you need the confidence to face and overcome your fears.
  • Believe In Themselves – Self-confidence means believing in yourself. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” He was right.
  • Set the Bar High Enough – Confident individuals set the bar high and aim high. Lack of confidence leads to weak goals, setting the bar too low, and mediocre results.
  • Stretch Your Limits – Confidence lets you know your limits and test them. By stretching your limits you increase them. You are stronger than you think.
  • Confidence Asks Questions – Confidence allows you to ask questions, even when others are silent. Confidence even lets you “ask for the job.”
  • Believe In Winning – Confident people believe in success. And more importantly, they believe in their ability to succeed.

Why Confidence Matters

Confidence helps us feel ready for life’s experiences. When we’re confident, we’re more likely to move forward with people and opportunities — not back away from them. And if things don’t work out at first, confidence helps us try again. It’s the opposite when confidence is low.

We have it all inside of us. It just gets buried. Or covered up, so we have to unearth it. Or peel back those layers. Just like an onion.

Confidence is a belief in the ability of yourself in certain aspects of life. It can involve either confidence in your appearance, talents, or achievements. Self-confidence is the belief in “self” that transcends all that you do and shows others that you know you can accomplish whatever the task is at hand.

In this blog, I will look at some of the different aspects of self-confidence and focus on why we need the confidence to be successful in life.

Why Do We Need Confidence?

Having confidence and avoiding self-sabotage is essential for several reasons. One reason is that it convinces others that we know what we are doing. People tend to trust people that they think exude confidence in themselves more than people who lack this sense of confidence. By illustrating to others that you can do the job or satisfy their request, you will be able to be more successful with your goals and business interests.

When it comes to social situations, self-confidence draws more people to you by promoting a sense of self-worth. People tend to be attracted to people who have confidence in themselves and studies prove that it even makes them seem more attractive.

Also, having self-confidence gives your mind positive self-talk about what you can do, as well. By practicing confidence on a regular basis, you will start to believe it is right and you will react with a more positive attitude to everything you do. This situation can lead to a stronger sense of achievement, even at times when you are not achieving as highly as you would like to do.

Believe in yourself.

Why Self-Belief Is More Important Than You Think

Self-Belief is linked to almost every element involved in a happy life. Self-Belief is linked to almost every element involved in a happy and fulfilling life. I highlight five key rewards of self-Belief below. Understanding these benefits is an important first step toward living your best life with confidence.

Less Fear and Anxiety

The more confident you become, the more you’ll be able to calm the voice inside you that says, “I can’t do it.” You’ll be able to unhook from your thoughts and take action in line with your values. If you’ve suffered from low self-confidence, you’re probably familiar with rumination, or the tendency to mull over worries and perceived mistakes, replaying them ad nauseam. Excessive rumination is linked to both anxiety and depression, and it can make us withdraw from the world. But by filling up your tank with confidence, you’ll be able to break the cycle of over-thinking and quiet your inner critic.

Greater Motivation 

Building confidence means taking small steps that leave a lasting sense of accomplishment. If you’ve ever learned a language, mastered a skill, reached a fitness goal, or otherwise overcome setbacks to get to where you wanted to be, you’re well on your way.

You might be thinking, “Well, sure, I was proud of my ‘A’ in Maths back in high school, but what does that have to do with anything now?” If you think back to a key accomplishment in your life, you’ll likely find that it took a lot of perseverance. If you could triumph through adversity then, you can do it in other areas of your life where you feel self-doubt.

As your confidence grows, you’ll find yourself more driven to stretch your abilities. “What-if” thoughts will still arise: “What if I fail?” “What if I embarrass myself?” But with self-assurance, those thoughts will no longer be paralyzing. Instead, you’ll be able to grin and act anyway, feeling energized by your progress in pursuing goals that mean something to you.

Yes you can

More Resilience

Confidence gives you the skills and coping methods to handle setbacks and failure. Self-Belief doesn’t mean you won’t sometimes fail. But you’ll know you can handle challenges and not be crippled by them. Even when things don’t turn out anywhere close to what you planned, you’ll be able to avoid beating yourself up. As you keep pushing yourself to try new things, you’ll start to truly understand how failure and mistakes lead to growth. An acceptance that failure is part of life will start to take root. Paradoxically, by being more willing to fail, you’ll actually succeed more — because you’re not waiting for everything to be 100 percent perfect before you act. Taking more shots will mean making more of them.

Improved Relationships

It might seem counterintuitive, but when you have more self-confidence and self-worth, you’re less focused on yourself. We’ve all been guilty of walking into a room and thinking, “They’re all looking at me. They all think I look dumpy and that every word I say is stupid.” The truth is, people are wrapped up in their own thoughts and worries. When you get out of your own head, you’ll be able to genuinely engage with others. You’ll enjoy your interactions more because you won’t be so worried about the kind of impression you’re making, and you won’t be comparing yourself to others. Your relaxed state will put others at ease as well, helping you forge deeper connections.

Self-belief can also breed deeper empathy. When you’re fully present, you’re more likely to notice that your date seems to be a little down, or that a friend in the corner looks like she needs a shoulder to cry on. When you’re not preoccupied with your own self-doubt, you can be the person who reaches out to help others.

Stronger Sense of Your Authentic Self

Finally, confidence roots you in who you really are. You’ll be able to accept your weaknesses, knowing they don’t change your self-worth. You’ll also be able to celebrate your strengths and use them more fully.

Your actions will be in line with your principles, giving you a greater sense of purpose. You’ll know who you are and what you stand for. You’ll have the skills to show up, stand up, and speak up. In other words, you’ll be able to let your best self shine through.

A Few Action Steps

Write down a favourite confidence quote and put it somewhere you’ll see it often. I do this all the time.

Do you have a photograph of a time you felt confident and successful? It could be a graduation photo, a picture of you as a kid after you learned to ride a bike or anything else that resonates with you. Hang it on your fridge or bathroom mirror, and reflect on all the steps it took to get to that point.

If you still need help. I offer packages for both men and women to bring out that confidence. Visit. www.jonadkin.com/packages to find out more.

Want to know more? Contact me or a hypnotherapist near you. Don’t let a fear or phobia control your life.

Until next time.
Stay safe. Stay happy.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

So long May, Hello June

Hi.

Welcome to my weekly blog, and yes I’ve been good recently and been doing a weekly blog. So if you haven’y been keeping up, you have some catching up to do.

This week I want to talk about coming out of lockdown. What will it mean for you? I’m opening my hypnotherapy practice from Monday with new guidelines in place for the safety of my clients. I felt the time was right to open, because as we ease out of lockdown, there are a lot of people that are scared I want to help those people.

Have you learnt anything about yourself during this lockdown? I know I have. Is there anything that you are going to bring out of it that you like? Or are there somethings that you didn’t like that you want to leave behind?

Isolation has definitely put a strain on relationships, but that can be repaired before the damage is done. Perhaps you have been drinking or eating too much. Once again those patterns of behaviour can be stopped, before they become a habit.

I want to share with you some things not to do as lockdown is eased. As I am opening on Monday I have been doing a lot of research regarding do’s and don’ts for the safety of my clients. A lot of this is common sense but as we have all seen sometimes that doesn’t apply.

Don’t worry, just take care.

What NOT to do as lockdown restrictions are lifted.

A phased approach to lifting lockdown restrictions has already begun here in the UK and around the world, but that doesn’t mean the deadly coronavirus has gone away. In the UK, over 38,000 people have already died from the COVID-19 disease, and the numbers are growing. We know that life will look different when cities reopen as politicians attempt to restart the economy while trying to keep a second wave of coronavirus infections at bay.

As we count down the days until you can hug your friends, throw a party, file into a football stadium and board an airplane, just remember that even as some restrictions loosen, that there’s still much we don’t know about the long-term behavior of this particular coronavirus strain.

Don’t toss out those face masks

As shopping centres and nonessential businesses begin to open, look for more coronavirus-slowing policies to go into effect, not fewer. That means social distancing, and both employees and customers wearing face masks or other face coverings. There may be a lot of other rules, too, depending on where you live and what you’re doing.

Expect more sanitation stations with hand sanitizer and gloves, and a less personal experience wherever you go, like being entry if your temperature is too high or ordering at counters with plexiglass dividers between. Expect that some shopping and socialising experiences won’t go back to normal for some time.

Don’t go to the gym without a plan

Gyms and fitness centers are part of early phase reopening in some spots, but think before you grab your water bottle and lace up your shoes. You’ll have to decide if you think it’s safe to return so soon. Enclosed areas where people breathe the same recirculated air for long periods of time are especially high risk, and that’s what gyms are.

Even if you sanitize the same common equipment between use, gyms are ripe for exchanging germs. Severely limiting the number of people in the gym at a time — and how long they can work out — is one approach. Requiring gym-goers to exercise with a face mask or face covering of some sort is another, which could make breathing more difficult during intense workouts. It’ll be important to assess your personal risk, and risk to others.

Don’t throw a party or hit the bars (When they open)

Social distancing measures exist for a reason, and that’s to slow the spread of viral transmission from people who come into close contact. Hosting a party at home or crowding into a bar when they reopen will jam people together in a room, giving any lingering coronavirus on an asymptomatic host the prime opportunity to infect others, who then could pass it along.

Even if bars reopen in your area, as they are doing in some places around the world, they’ll likely do so with limited hours (e.g. closing at 11 p.m.), social distancing and limited capacity. It’s up to you to be judicious about protecting your health.

Don’t stop washing your hands

Of course you’ll continue to practice common hygiene, but remember that relaxed restrictions won’t necessarily mean that the coronavirus outbreak is over, even after a vaccine eventually arrives. There may be economic reasons for schools and businesses to reopen, while the virus continues to spread, albeit at slower rates than today.

Remember that the goal of stay at home orders and thorough handwashing is to keep hospitals from being overwhelmed with patients in critical condition and minimize your risk for acquiring life-threatening symptoms.

Hopefully, the good hand-washing habits you’ve acquired during this time will stick around, including longer, more thorough washing with hand soap, and more frequently after coming into contact with people and common surfaces.

Don’t immediately visit high-risk people

There’s nothing I’d rather do when quarantine ends than rush out and give the senior citizens and immunocompromised friends in my life a big, warm hug. But that might not be the best move for them. Quarantine measures are likely to loosen before the vaccine arrives that will help protect people most at risk if they do acquire COVID-19.

Though early vaccine testing is underway, an approved vaccine is still thought to be a year out, at the very least. That doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t see your loved ones for a full year.

Antibody testing is a promising method in development right now that could be able to tell you if you’ve already been exposed to the coronavirus. Unfortunately, we’re not at the stage where this test — which isn’t yet available — can confirm immunity.

For people who are in high-risk groups, keeping a healthy distance may still be the best way to keep them safe. That’s something you and your family will need to carefully evaluate.

There will plenty of time for holidays in the future.

Don’t plan a big international holiday

I’ve already started a mental list of every place in the world I want to visit once restrictions lift. However Like me, you’ll have to have a little patience.

While I expect that hotel and airfare prices will be enticingly cheap when nonessential travel is first deemed acceptable again, flying on a plane it isn’t likely to be a fun experience in many ways. Think: wearing masks the duration of the flight, very limited food and beverage service on long hauls and plenty of closed businesses at the airport terminals themselves. On the plus side, you’ll likely have more leg room (Not that I need it).

Intermingling is nearly impossible to avoid in airports and airplanes (though not because of the ventilation system, according to the WHO), which is one major reason flights have been canceled and international travel effectively banned in many countries.

The international movement of people contributed to the coronavirus reaching pandemic proportions so quickly, through person-to-person transmission like coughing and sneezing. If a recurrence were to happen, the last thing you want is the stress of finding yourself quarantined in an unfamiliar country, without a clear or quick way home.

Don’t get too comfortable


Not to be the bearer of bad news, but as a global society, we can’t say for certain what will happen next — if a sudden surge in new coronavirus cases will make it necessary to reinstitute quarantine measures, as has happened in Singapore and Hong Kong, or, worse, fears of a more contagious strain come to be.

The smart thing to do is remain cautiously optimistic about regaining your freedom to move, but remain realistic that we don’t know what the future holds.

Don’t let this control you. Take precautions of course but don’t overthink or worry unnecessarily.

Until next week.

Stay safe, stay healthy

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Is online therapy just as good?

Hi

welcome to this weeks blog, I was hoping to open my doors for one to one sessions this week but after the prime ministers announcement I found that sadly it still wasn’t safe to do one to one with my clients.

So the question is, are online sessions as good as one to one sessions? The answer to that is yes if you want them to be. Hypnotherapy can be a very powerful and helpful way to make you feel and think differently. However hypnotherapy will only work, if you want it to work. So really where you have it done or how you have it done doesn’t matter, as long as you are prepared to relax and follow instruction then online will work for you. It all starts with a call.

It could be the best call you ever make.

There can be some advantages to having a session online. Firstly some people feel more comfortable in their own home. They can choose perhaps their favourite chair or even their own bed to relax on. No travelling is involved, and at the moment I’m working up till 11:30 PM so that you can have your session once the children are in bed and you can relax more fully.

There are somethings that we have to take into account, firstly a reliable Internet connection, Secondly a quiet place, somewhere you can go for about an hour that you won’t be disturbed. Throughout the session I will need to see your face show the laptop or tablet needs to be positioned in a place that it won’t fall down or be knocked over at anytime during the session. For my sessions I have found a piece of software called zoom to be the most reliable, it’s a free piece of software and is easily downloaded. 

Zoom is a free download available here.

So what happens at a session?

As always we start with a pre talk, I explain what I will do, and how I would do it, and you can tell me anything that you think I might need to know regarding the issue that you’ve come to me for. However, as I have found out many times the issue isn’t always the issue. What do I mean by that, I mean, that if you came to me say with a weight problem, there may be an underlying problem as to why you gained the weight. Perhaps, you had a bad experience with a former partner and you ate to make yourself unattractive so that you wouldn’t get hurt again. Or perhaps you have no confidence or self esteem, but why, was you put down perhaps by an adult a sibling even a teacher, And their words stuck in your mind and over the years those words have dictated how you lived your life.

You may not even know why you feel the way you do, but your subconscious mind will know exactly why, And it’s those thoughts that I help you change.

One question people ask me before I do an online session is what happens if we do lose connection for whatever reason, will they stay in trance? And the answer to that is NO!. I put in a suggestion very early to say that if my voice isn’t heard for any length of time then my clients will just wake up naturally, feeling good.

Just before a zoom session.

HOW IT WORKS:

1. To arrange an online zoom session, please email me at jadkin.bahyp@gmail.com or book online at jadkinbahyp.youcanbook.me and include a contact number – I will then call you to arrange an online appointment at a time that suits you, between 9.00AM and 11.00PM

2. We will have a brief chat on the phone so I have a full understanding of your needs – this is free of charge. We will then arrange a time for your session; Payment is made by BACs transfer before the session.

3. During the session, we will be able to see each other – you can use a desktop, laptop, tablet, or even a mobile phone; Ideally if you have a set of headphones, that would be great as they help to block out any unwanted background noises.

4. You will need to sit in a comfortable chair and have a pillow or cushion handy to support your head;

5. Each session is tailored to your own specific needs.

I have been using online hypnotherapy since I went full time, mainly for clients who cannot make it to my practise room on a particular day for some reason, and I have found it to be very effective. I use either Zoom, WhatsApp or Skype, but we can discuss this during your free phone consultation.

During the current coronavirus outbreak it is invaluable to allow you to access treatment whilst maintaining social distancing or self-isolation. Giving you complete peace of mind.

I have a page on my website dedicated to online sessions.

So just to clarify the Benefits of Online Hypnotherapy

Online hypnotherapy also brings some bonus benefits in its own right.

Accessible

Provided a person can make the time difference work, anyone, anywhere in the world can now access hypnotherapy with me. All they need is a device that can run Zoom and some headphones if preferred to listen to my voice.

It has also opened my services up to clients with disabilities who cannot travel to a physical clinical location easily or indeed at all.

Comfortable & Relaxing

One paradoxical problem of in-person hypnotherapy is that, especially for people new to hypnosis, the process of attending is not necessarily a relaxing experience. Myths and misconceptions about hypnosis (and hypnotists!) can make the whole experience seem quite daunting and a bit scary.

Plus, the more professional and ‘clinical’ a practice becomes, the more likely it is to set off a bit of ‘white coat anxiety’ in even the calmest person.

By being able to engage in online hypnosis via 1-2-1 sessions from the comfort of your own home, the above is massively reduced if not eliminated completely.

There will always be new ways to evolve both the art and science of changing minds, but right now online hypnotherapy is one of the most exciting areas to be working in.

And as a special promotion during this lock-down period I am offering my Online sessions for just £65. A 20% saving off my normal price.

Hope to see you online soon.

So there you are. I hope that helps if you are thinking of asking for help but wanted more information. If I haven’t answered your specific question please message me or Contact me and I will be happy to answer.

Until next week, stay safe, stay healthy

Best wishes

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Are you conscious of your conscious mind?

 Hi Welcome back. Hope you’ve had a good week.

So last week I was talking about the subconscious so what about the conscious mind. Who or what is it?

Your conscious mind is your objective or thinking mind. It has no memory, and it can only hold one thought at a time. This mind has four essential functions.

First, it identifies incoming information. This is information received through any of the six senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, or feeling. Your conscious mind is continually observing and categorizing what is going on around you.

To explain what I mean, imagine that you are walking along the road and you decide to cross the street. You step off the curb. At that moment, you hear the roar of an car engine. You immediately turn and look in the direction of the moving car to identify the sound and where it is coming from. This is the first function.

The second function of your conscious mind is comparison. The information about the car that you have seen and heard goes immediately to your subconscious mind. There, it is compared with all of your previously stored information and experiences with moving automobiles.

If the car, for example, is a street away, and moving at thirty miles per hour, your subconscious memory bank will tell you that there is no danger and that you can continue walking.

If, on the other hand, the car is moving toward you at sixty miles per hour and is only 100 yards away, you will get a “danger” message that will stimulate further action on your part.

The third function of your conscious mind is analysis, and analysis always precedes the fourth function, deciding.

Your conscious mind functions very much like a binary computer, (Yep, there is the software reference again) performing two functions: It accepts or rejects data in making choices and decisions. It can deal with only one thought at a time, positive or negative, “yes” or “no.” This is why people who adopt positive thinking lifestyles regularly read inspirational quotes. Our single-track minds can only entertain one idea at a time, so keeping it occupied with uplifting material has the power to block negative thoughts.

Positive affirmations are also very useful for keeping our brains occupied with pleasant and empowering thoughts or visualizations.

It is continually sorting impressions, deciding which are relevant to you and which are not.

So, you are walking across the street, you hear the roar of the moving vehicle and you see that it is bearing down on you. Because of your knowledge of the speed of moving vehicles, you analysis tells you, you are in danger and that some decision is required. you first question is, “Do I get out of the way? Yes or no?”

If the decision is “yes,” then your next is, “Do I jump forward? Yes or no?” If the decision is “no,” because of cross traffic, then you next question is, “Do I jump backward? Yes or no?”

If your decision is “yes,” this message is instantly transmitted to your subconscious mind and in a split second, your whole body jumps back out of the way, with no additional thought or decision on your part.

So what about Self Conscious Emotions?

What are self-conscious emotions?

Self-conscious emotions are those affected by how we see ourselves and how we think others perceive us. They include emotions like pride, jealousy, and embarrassment.

Self-consciousness and self-awareness are sometimes healthy signs of emotional maturity. They can help you fit in and function within a community. Feeling guilty after saying something hurtful is often perceived as showing good character. Feeling remorse after making a mistake may help patch up relationships. Positive self-conscious emotions and negative self-conscious emotions can be healthy and powerful motivators.

Excessive self-conscious emotions can be extremely unhealthy. They may worsen symptoms from conditions like anxiety, depression, and borderline personality disorder. They can also cause social anxiety and isolation.

What are the symptoms of self-conscious emotions?

Having self-conscious emotions in moderate amounts is healthy. Having overwhelming self-conscious emotions isn’t.

Symptoms of healthy self-conscious emotions include:

  • having pride in accomplishments
  • enjoying engaging in social environments
  • apologizing for mistakes and taking responsibility

Symptoms of unhealthy self-conscious emotions include:

  • responding to embarrassment with anger and hostility
  • avoiding social experiences
  • placing blame on others for one’s mistakes
  • feeling responsible for wrongs made against yourself
  • having low self-esteem
  • experiencing agitation, anxiety, depression, or nervousness

What causes self-conscious emotions?

Self-conscious emotions develop in relation to an understanding of rules, standards, and goals. Young children start to form a sense of self at around 18 months old. This is when self-conscious emotions start developing. Many children have a full range of self-conscious emotions by the age of 3. Teenagers are particularly prone to high levels of self-consciousness. At this age, children are experiencing significant social pressure for the first time.

What are the risk factors of self-conscious emotions?

Low self-esteem can cause unhealthy self-conscious emotions. You may dwell on negative conscious emotions as a result of mental health conditions. These conditions may include:

  • anxiety
  • depression
  • borderline personality disorder (BPD)
  • obsessive-compulsive disorder

What are the benefits of self-conscious emotions?

Healthy self-conscious emotions have many benefits. Pride often drives people to work hard for accomplishments. Confidence gives us the self-esteem boost we need to take on new challenges. Even negative self-conscious emotions have a positive role in our lives. Jealousy helps us determine what we want most.

Self-consciousness comes from self-awareness. The emotions that come from them help us perceive how we fit into society. Self-awareness helps us improve social functioning. Violating a group’s social rules causes guilt, shame, and embarrassment. While uncomfortable and disconcerting, these emotions can result in social acceptance.

Can self-conscious emotions cause other issues?

Unhealthy self-consciousness can result in social anxiety. This can lead to isolation, which in turn increases the social anxiety further. It may also result in low self-esteem and depression.

Self-conscious emotions can also prevent healing from traumatic events. This is especially true in patients with mental health conditions. People may avoid medical care if they feel certain self-conscious emotions. A studyTrusted Source found that many people experience shame, guilt, and embarrassment when they’re seeking screening tests for sexually transmitted diseases. Getting tested and talking to sexual partners both triggered these emotions. These emotions can cause people to delay or avoid getting the treatment they need.

What treatment is available for self-conscious emotions?

There are many ways to treat unhealthy or excessive self-conscious emotions. To promote a more positive self-image and boost self-esteem, you can:

  • engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself
  • write a list of accomplishments or traits that you’re proud of
  • combat social anxiety by interacting with people in low-risk activities, such as making small talk with a cashier when buying groceries
  • be punctual and keep your commitments, as the discipline this requires can raise self-value
  • take responsibility for mistakes, and make amends if necessary
  • avoid activities that can cause negative emotions like guilt or shame if you’re caught, such as lying or gossiping
  • take a deep breath and practice mindfulness if you’re dwelling on past events that cause negative emotions

Make an appointment to see a certified Hypnotherapist. If you are not local to me. I have made some very good contacts all around the world with people that I trust. if these methods don’t offer relief from persistent self-consciousness. A Hypnotherapist can help you determine the cause of unhealthy self-conscious emotions and get you thinking and feeling better about yourself.

I hope you enjoyed this blog.

Until next time. Have a great week

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Jon X

Unhappy New Year?

Hi. Welcome to 2020, a new year a new decade. How about a new start? I know there were lots of posts New Year New Me. I even used it myself but if we are honest do we all start making the changes on the 1st of January. No of course not. Many don’t get up till midday and even then some have sore heads. So we lose the first then we get to the 2nd and we hit the shops or slump in front of the TV and so begins the pattern.

You can make changes whenever you want. In fact you can make the changes when you want to make them, not when someone tells you to make them. If you are fed up living the same life that you have been living then when you are ready make make small subtle changes, and once those changes happen and you accept them, then you can make bigger better changes.

How Long it Really Takes to Build a New Positive Habit

On average, it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact. And how long it takes a new habit to form can vary widely depending on the behavior, the person, and the circumstances. In a study, it took anywhere from 18 days to 254 days for people to form a new positive habit. 

In other words, if you want to set your expectations appropriately, the truth is that it will probably take you anywhere from two months to eight months to build a new behavior into your life — not 21 days.

Before you let this dishearten you, let’s talk about three reasons why this research is actually inspiring. First, there is no reason to get down on yourself if you try something for a few weeks and it doesn’t become a habit. It’s supposed to take longer than that! There is no need to judge yourself if you can’t master a behavior in 21 short days. Learn to love you.

Second, you don’t have to be perfect. Making a mistake once or twice has no measurable impact on your long-term habits. This is why you should treat failure like a scientist, give yourself permission to make mistakes, and develop strategies for getting back on track quickly.

Changing the way you think.

Recognize That It’s All in Your Head. We can get a little far out with this, but it boils down to one thing-reality is what you make it to be. Every interaction, conversation, process, and personal thought that happens over the course of the day-both good and bad-plays out in your head as much as it plays out in reality. In the same vein, avoid “negative” content. This is not necessarily content that is violent, gory, or excessively sexual. Rather it’s “negative” because it doesn’t add anything to your life. You aren’t making yourself a better person by consuming nothing but poorly-written novels or bad summer movies. You’re just coasting-and if you’re coasting then you’re not growing, and that growth is a step towards improving your self-perception.

Change Your Inner Voice.

Think about the ways you talk to yourself. In the morning when you’re getting ready, or when you’re cooking dinner in the evening. How about after your boss comes after you with a minor screw up that was made? Or when your partner is upset about something that isn’t being done at home? Think about the kind of language you use when you talk to yourself after these experiences. Do you use negative words and chastise yourself? Or do you say you’ll try again harder, and that it’s no big deal?

Step outside your own head for a moment and think about how you would react if these same experiences were happening to a loved one. Imagine that this loved one came to you with a story from work today-their boss got mad about a PowerPoint slide that had a typo, and they felt awful about themselves. They put themselves down and called themselves horrible names. Is that something you’d allow your loved one to do, or would you step in and tell them that it’s no big deal, people make mistakes, their boss was a jerk to overreact?

Now-why not do the same for yourself?

The next time you catch yourself using negative self-talk, try and take a step back. Breathe deeply. Relax. Remember to be kind to yourself, even if it is “just in your head.” Remind yourself that you’ll try harder next time, or that whatever mess up you’ve experienced isn’t that big of a deal in the long run. Practice self-forgiveness, and you’ll find that your self-image starts to improve vastly.

This year in my blogs I am going to help you feel better about yourselves and supply you with the tools that you need to send that negativity on its way.

Remember you are always in control of your thoughts. Just make those thoughts positve. and get into the habit of re framing your thoughts. stay positive.

Until next week

Have a good one

Jon X