Swipe left, Swipe right, ignore the world.

Hi

this week, I’m going to go off track, the reason this is that yesterday I went down London for the day And I could not believe how many people were walking around looking at their phones, they had their headphones on bumping into people stepping out in front of cars and not acknowledging the world around them.

Today Thursday the 10th of October is world mental health day And I am convinced that so many people now are living their life through their phones and their tablets. I spent some time yesterday people watching,  and in that time I don’t think anybody smiled at each other acknowledged each other or even looked around them to see even where they were.

Life is not about swiping left and swiping right life is not about apps that can make your life easier, life is for living.

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At one point I was walking down Regent Street the shop windows looked fabulous as always a lot of time and effort have been put into making them look that good, And I did not notice one person stop and appreciate all the hard work that gone in to making those shops look so fabulous. I also at one point stopped for coffee and again I sat there and people watched. I watched people walking to the shop on their Phone they sat down, still looking at their phones they ordered their coffee hardly taking their eyes off the screen, People were sitting in groups of three and four not talking to each other or perhaps they were but via text. Modern technology is killing social interaction. I saw families not talking to each other I saw groups of friends who weren’t talking to each other, I witnessed two people taking pictures of their biscuits. Has it really come to this that we know what biscuit you’re having with a coffee, that when we have a day out with friends, we don’t talk to her friend we just send pictures and text too other people. I wonder how many single people for walking down the road yesterday and had they just lifted the head from their Phones, They may have just seem the love of their life. No filters, no pouting, a real human being in the flesh.

How many of us walk around our hometown and not appreciated the architecture. how many of us are rude unintended of course bur still rude,  to people who work in shops and are trying to serve us and yet we do not end that Phone call. Is the call really that important?

In Oxford Street one of the busiest streets in the world I saw people walking into oncoming traffic, I saw people walking into lamp post into bins, all because they wouldn’t take their eyes off the screen for a moment. Even going down into the underground last night crowd of people were unaware of their surroundings and the danger they put others in had they have lost their footing on their steps or the escalator.

Now I am no Angel, I used to do the same, I could have people talking to me and if my Phone buzzed in my pocket, I would take it out and look at it mid conversation.  I have a good friend that pointed out to me that I always did this, yet I still did it.  It’s only now that I realise just how rude it is,

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Children are forgetting how to interact with others, you see toddlers in pushchairs with tablets in their hands and usually the young mum on her Phone as she pushes the child through perhaps a  colorful engaging park, Not pointing out the different trees not pointing out the wildlife that surrounds them,  Parents interact with your children, Share your knowledge, don’t leave up to Peppa pig or Google.

Via social media we talk to strangers every day. When was the last time you smiled at a real stranger, or said hi as you walked past? You do it on your phones why not do it in real life. You never know you just might make someone’s day.

Going back to the coffee shop yesterday, sat in the corner was a lady with a wonderful shade of blue hair It looked fantastic. She was of course on her phone; I presume playing games as her fingers were swiping all over the place and she looked bored. I made a point of approaching her as I was leaving and told her that I loved the colour of her hair and how good it looked on her. (No I was not hitting on her, I didn’t leave her my number) I just paid her a compliment and left, but as I looked back that young lady had the biggest smile on her face.

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So are you up for a challenge? I want as many of you as possible to leave your phone alone for at least one hour each day. I don’t mean when you are working, I mean leisure time, commuting time, down time. Talk to your friends, your family especially your children. Look around and I mean really look around. See what delights there are on your travels.

I do it now and I feel so much better for. It’s a small ask but it’s one that can make a major impact on your life.

Step out from behind the filters. No one really wants to see a picture of your lunch.

As I said in the beginning, life is for living. So live it.

Rant over.

Normal service will be resumed soon. Hopefully.

Until next time

Jon xx

 

Jon Adkin BAHyp Hypnotherapist.

www.jonadkin.com

This is me.

Hi welcome back, And if you’re not coming back and this is your first time here where have you been.

On my Facebook page recently I ran some facts about me. People seem to enjoy them. I gave them information about the early life I gave them information about things that I like, music that I enjoy listening to, and I thought it’s good to get to know People, rather than just being name on the screen or the odd picture, and even today with filters you never really see the real person. So, a few of you now have been following my blog for a time and I think it’s time to out for you to get to know me. So I’m going to do the same here. I am going to share with you facts about Me things that I want you to know things that perhaps now you may not need to know but I’m going to tell you anyway. So where do we start I suppose the beginning is the best place I was born in Cheltenham in Gloucestershire, but I was born to an unmarried mother who put me up for adoption. I was sent to an adoption home in London The Thomas Coram foundation. Now children that were placed in the Thomas Coram foundation were known as foundlings.  Children who were there to be given a second chance. I was one of the lucky ones I was fostered and then eventually after 18 months I was adopted by the greatest family. Now I sit at home and I watch long lost families like a lot of People do, but you know what I am one of the lucky ones, I don’t have that feeling of being rejected I don’t have that feeling of not being wanted or being given up on. Far from it I just had feeling of being loved being chosen I know I couldn’t have asked for a better family, a more loving family and not just my parents and my brother but the whole family. Aunts Uncles, cousins and second cousins third cousins once removed (I’ve never understood that bit) I have never ever been treated any different and I wouldn’t change my upbringing for anything. I was brought up with stories by mum of  being chosen, and one of the funny stories is that dad actually wanted a little girl and when they went back to the home it was feeding time and there was myself and the little girl who was up for adoption but she was a messy eater and my dad decided they would have the clean one. That story always brings a smile to my face. Another funny memory I have of the home is that we used to go back there for the summer fair and I can always remember I would not let go of their hands, either Mum or Dads because I thought they were taking me back, and I bet there were times when they wished they could have to be honest, but they never did.

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School years well they came and went. I made some really good friends, some I’m still in touch with now through Facebook. school was OK I was never the brightest but I also held my own. I enjoyed playtimes, I enjoy the sport but most of all I enjoyed the music and the drama. So really it was no surprise that at the age of 15 I was playing in bands in pubs and clubs, places I shouldn’t have been playing in at that age, but I got the taste for music, live music. And that’s where I thought my future was going to be and with the backing of my parents I left school aiming to be a professional musician. The first few years went really well I played with some of the big bands at the time And I really thought I was going to make it. But my shoulders well, they had other ideas from about 16 my shoulders started to dislocate on a frequent basis. In just one year my left shoulder dislocated 16 times. each time it meant a new visit to the hospital more anaesthetic to put it back as something wasn’t right. eventually I had a pin put in. It didn’t last long, so then I had 2 pins, then 3 pins. They didn’t last long either. My drumming career came to a halt. I had to go and get a job. Now because I only ever wanted to be a musician I really didn’t have a back up plan so I tried some different things but for ages I never really found what I wanted to do. One job I did really enjoy was actually portering at Whipps Cross hospital. The same hospital that had constantly been pinning my shoulders back. I was there for some time, but again my shoulder started to dislocate and a decision was made that I needed a far more serious operation I’m going to have to have my left shoulder fused which meant I would have very limited movement it was a big decision but it was one that I really had no option, I could live within the disabilities or so I thought I’m in the right frame of mind I’ll just continue my life.

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However I had the Op and after spending 8 months in a plaster cast I actually realised that I was more immobilised than I thought I was going to be, not only would I not be able to play the drums again but I wouldn’t be able to play golf with my Dad, and that was something that I enjoyed so much. Also, I have very little reach now and I can’t lift my arms above chest height and being small (Yep 5’’4”) well that’s not great. I left the hospital job as I was unable to lift so once again I found myself in No Mans Land not knowing what to do. A few more jobs came and went, but I still wanted to be a musician or an entertainer of some sorts.     

Did I make it?

Pop back next week and I will let you know.

Have a great week.

Jon XX   

www.jonadkin.com

Jon Adkin BAHyp Hypnotherapist

Moving Up. Moving On.

Hi.

As we approach the last third of the school Summer holidays, this is where you may notice your child or children beginning to withdraw a little. Of course you will ask are they are okay and they reply I’m fine and disappear to their room. Actually they may not be okay. Children get very anxious about either moving up a class or moving on to a whole new school. They have listened to rumours about how horrible the teachers are and what punishments are given out. They believe that bullies roam the corridors looking for their next victim or that they will get lost in the many corridors and they will get in trouble for getting to class late. All of these are unfounded, exaggerated and in most cases just not true.

I worked in primary education for over 26 years.  I understand children, Hey, I’m only 5’4″ so most kids are taller than me so I’m at their level (Some may say mentally as well. Some will just make the transition but others suffer in silence. they convince themselves of the worst possible scenario and relive it every remaining day of the school holiday.

We don’t want our children to be unhappy or worried. We want them to look back on their school holidays and their childhood as some of their best memories.

So what can we do? now it’s funny you should ask. from this week up until the first week in September I run a Moving Up. Moving On program for children. It helps children realise they can cope, realise that they are so much capable than what they have been led to believe.  In just two sessions I will help that child to not only believe in themselves but also to give them the confidence to handle what ever they do face in the new term.

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Moving to a new school can be intimidating. In fact, it may feel as your whole world as you once knew it is crashing down. You may wish your friend was with you, or that the school was in your old neighborhood. However, it is possible to fit in at a new school. Follow these easy steps and you’ll find yourself fitting in no time!

Take a day to appreciate your environment. You won’t fit in at school if you don’t know the school well yet. Ask where places are or ask for a school map.

Be friendly to everyone. Be nice to adults, teenagers and kids alike, because they might just be your next teacher or friend.

Get to know your teachers. Talk to them and find out more about them. See how strict or lenient they are.

Make new friends. Try not to be shy, and be confident. Talk to different groups of people, but don’t ignore a certain group. Be yourself and don’t lie. This is your school now, so take a chance on letting your true personality shine through if you didn’t already at your old school.

Pay attention in class. Teachers always pay attention to new students.

Be yourself. If your first day in the school is the first day of the new year, then some people will notice you, especially if it is a small school. When people talk to you, don’t be nervous, but don’t be too loud. Be confident and make eye contact. However, sometimes you may need to make yourself loud so that you will get noticed, and but try not to constantly attract attention to yourself.

  • Don’t worry too much about what people think of you; you’ll over-analyze the situation and they might judge you for that.
  • Be genuine and be nice to everyone, no matter how mean they may appear at first. It’s usually always the ‘girl/guy that you hated at your new school’ that ends up being your friend after a little sincerity.
  • Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself, if it’s very clear that you should.

Avoid worrying about getting to know the school too much. Know where your locker is and have a map in case of emergencies, but whenever possible, ask the person sitting near you or a teacher in the hallway where something is.

  • Asking for directions to a class, for example, is a good way to talk to people and meet a lot of people on your first day. You’re the new kid now. Mention that to people whenever you need some help.

Prepare for your first lunch. Talk to students in the class right before lunch. Usually, they will ask you if you’re sitting with anyone, but if not, steer the topic towards school lunch (as in is the food good etc.) If no one specifically mentions eating together, but you’re walking to the cafeteria together, then it’s implied that you’ll eat lunch together.

Be nice to everyone. It is important to talk to everyone, even if they seem weird, when you are a new student. They could always know people you’d rather be friends with or introduce you to more people. Try to meet new people. However, if they are hated by everyone, then it is advised not to become best friends with them unless you really want to, don’t get too into people, hang out with everyone, and make sure you know a group or person well enough before deeming them your friend.

  • It can be the most tricky, manipulative people that talk to you at first, and it’s usually those who just talk to you later on, at the back of the classroom who are there for you later on.

Pay attention in class and try hard in school. If someone passes a note or whispers something to you, ignore them so you can pay attention to the teacher.

Join a few clubs or sports and make more friends in this way. Make sure you are committed to that sport or club.

Be consistently level-headed inside and out, and don’t over-think people or situation. Never forget that while you might be trying to fit in, you should never try to be anybody but yourself. The first couple of weeks are always confusing.

Share this with your children, show them you care and that they are not alone. 

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Warnings.

  • Don’t be negative. People don’t like a Debbie-Downer. A way to avoid this is to think positively about every situation.
  • If you had a bad reputation at your old school, don’t talk about your rep. Just pretend it never happened and make sure not to make the same mistakes at your new school.
  • Try to avoid drama if you can.
  • Don’t be obnoxious. It’s good to jump in and let people know you’re there, but allow them to get a word in too.

Be you. Be happy, and always do your best.

Until next week. Have a good one

Jon X

What can it do for you?

Hi.

If you are a regular reader of my blog (and there are some of you) you know that I am a hypnotherapist. and an EFT/TFT Tapping practitioner  So last night I got talking to someone and the question arose “Well what could you do for me?” and the answer is lots actually.

You don’t have to be overweight, or a smoker or an anxiety sufferer to want to visit a hypnotherapist. We can can help you with so many aspects of your life and modern living. It’s not all about fears and Phobias.

Let me give you some examples, (and just so you know names, dates and possibly genders are changed in these case studies. to protect clients).

Case Study 1:

Client was feeling totally worthless and life had no purpose.

2 sessions with the client showed them that they were not worthless and that their life definitely had a purpose. We worked together on building their self worth, made them feel that they can handle what life throws at them, seeing new challenges as a way of growth. followed by reinventing their outlook on life. Replacing those damaging negative thoughts with more positive constructive thoughts.

Outcome:

This was 7 months ago. I met the client in town just last week.  I saw him before he saw me. He was smiling, his body language shouted confidence and he looked happy. When he saw me he came straight over with his NEW partner. (There wasn’t one at the time of the sessions) and he introduced her to me. He can’t believe the change in himself and he is now full of optimism for his future.

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Case Study 2:

Client was struggling with anger issues.

3 sessions booked in. Did some emotional release as to the root of the anger. then worked with the client showing them that they can release that anger before a hand is raised. then did some future pacing using visualisation. showing the client what life will be like once their anger is under control, their control.

Outcome:

Life has become so much more peaceful at home. and their partner is not living on their nerves anymore if they go out for a drink. The client is so much calmer and does not get angry over things that use to make them snap.

Case study 3:

Relationship breakdown.

My client came to me because of a relationship breakdown and didn’t feel that they could move on. we booked in 3 sessions and in those 3 sessions we used a method that I have in my toolbox called The Blueprint. It’s a fantastic content free protocol that will help shift negativity, unwanted thoughts, past trauma etc then once we have cleared those thoughts, those patterns of behaviour we start on rebuilding the confidence and self belief which is always in you. It just gets covered over and we tend to forget that we are in control of our thoughts and beliefs.

Outcome.

6 months later. a very happy independent person who now knows they don’t have to rely on others and can very much be their own person. They are dipping their toe back into the dating scene but with a new found confidence.

Here is a link to my testimonial page. I love to receive feedback and to see how my clients are doing.

So you see. It’s not just about fear of flying or fear of heights etc etc . It’s all about you and making you the best that you possibly can be.

I love this work and the satisfaction that it brings. Seeing the long term change in my clients makes me feel so pleased and proud that I could help them.

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So why did I get into it, I hear you ask. (Go on someone ask please)… I will tell you. Because it saved me. In my 30s (I’m 57 now) I had some major illnesses. 2 heart attacks 2 mini strokes and various medical procedures. I lost my confidence my self belief and my mojo. So I had a decision to make I could have curled up on the sofa and watched Kilroy (the then equivalent of the Jeremy Kyle show) or I could pull myself together.

I did the latter. I started with self hypnosis books. Thanks Paul Mckenna. then as time went on not only did I regain all my confidence back I exceeded where I wanted to be. So a few years back I decided to train to become a hypnotherapist. Not intending to do it as a career I just wanted to know why it made a world of difference for me.

So I trained and the more I did the more I loved it. Not only could I do it I was bloody good at it (yep, blowing my own trumpet here) So I qualified and I started doing it in the evenings alongside my proper job. However the more I did, the more I loved it and the buzz from helping people was amazing so I took a leap of faith nearly 2 years ago and went full time.

I have not looked back. (Well I have but I fell over so I won’t be doing that again)

I believed in me and I got that from hypnotherapy and that’s why when you come and see me you can see the passion and the enthusiasm that I have, and having been there I know I can get you back on track.

So that’s my little story for this week. Next week I will blogging about ???? who know’s I just sit down and see what comes. however what I do know is that it will be of benefit to you the reader in some way. as that’s what I like doing. I like helping people.

Until next time

Have a great week

Jon X

Ps. I’ve also written a few books(Search Jon Adkin on Amazon) and painted a few pictures

Are you supported?

Hi.

How you all doing? Better than Theresa May I bet. Don’t worry I’m not going all  political. What I want to blog about this week is support. Support from your family, from your friends and if your in business support of your customers or clients. A support network is very important.

One of the reasons Theresa May resigned is because she did not have the support of her cabinet. Without that support you are facing an uphill battle. When my clients come to me they want to change. I quickly establish why they want to change and who they want to change for. If it’s themselves then great, if it’s to please others then that is not so great. Trying to change to please others is not always a good idea and in the long term not always right for them. However is a client comes to me and wants to change for whatever reason, it could be weight loss or to stop smoking, or just to gain more confidence etc and they tell me it’s for them so that they can start to enjoy life more, then I will do all that I can to help that client, but on top of my help they need the support and the encouragement from those around them. Immediate family, friends and work colleagues. a few kind words of encouragement go a long way. and it means the world to the person who is trying to make that change.

I will be honest when I decided to leave my job and a steady wage to start my hypnotherapy business I lost some friends and family support, (not all but the ones who mattered) and without those it has felt lonely at times. However I have great self belief (Thanks to hypnotherapy) and I am making a success of the business, but it would still be so much sweeter with the full support of family and friends.

And now a commercial break

May Book

My book Can I Change. Available from Amazon. 

So what can you do to help and support someone who wants to or needs to change.  Well the first thing is show them support (even if you have doubts) give them words of encouragement boost their confidence, just be there. ListenYour very presence can be a comfort to a friend. Sometimes keeping someone company while they go through their trials is a gift in itself. Expand your friend’s perspective. If your friend seems to be afflicted with tunnel vision, help them expand their perspective. You could say, “There could be another way to look at this. What about…?” You could also expand perspective by pointing out the consequences of their actions to their future self: “This may seem like a good idea at this moment, but how will you feel in a week? A month? A year?” And you can shrink an overstated problem with a saying like, “This too shall pass.” If you dare, help them empathise with the other person in the conflict. Ask, “How can I help?” But be prepared to set boundaries if direct help would draw you too tightly into your friend’s knotty problem. What might work with one friend might not work with another. Use your good judgement. Ideally, your advice will strengthen your friend and give them more confidence in their own judgement in the future. And if you feel like you are getting in too deep, remember that ultimately it’s your friend’s job to solve their own problems, not you.

If your friend or family member is starting a new business, here are some ways that you could help them too.

Motivation and loneliness are among the top unforeseen challenges of starting a business. Staying motivated is critical to keeping a business alive, but it isn’t something you can buy. Family, friends, and colleagues can be a great source of motivation.  So even if you’ve never started a business, you can be instrumental in helping others start and maintain their own. Here’s what you can do to offer your support:

Take Them Out to Lunch

Starting a business can be lonely when you feel you are the only one that believes in your vision. That worsens when you have to work in isolation on initial business planning.

Invite your friend out to lunch or dinner for a ‘business meeting’. Let them talk to you about the challenges, goals, and recent successes in their business. Or, if they want a little break from the madness this could be a great opportunity to catch up and take a break from their business. Be open. Take their lead for the topic of conversation.

Ask How You Can Help

Funding is an important part of starting a business, but it’s not the only thing that matters. Marketing, sales, operations, and accounting are also critical parts to a successful business. Ask what is need and how you might be of help. This is could be a great opportunity for you to sharpen some skills that you are not using in your own day-to-day job. Ask, you might be surprised with what they say.

Share Resources

Networking is powerful. If you hear of networking events, find a professional organisation, or just meet someone that you think would be a great resource – be sure to share that info with your friend. You can make an introduction via LinkedIn or emails, or just text over a link.

Have Impactful Interactions

In an industry where you have to constantly prove your business value and trajectory, it’s important to stay encouraged.  Encourage your friend by reminding them of their potential and initial vision. Remember those ‘small victories’ or ‘resources’ that might help them push through hard times. Like their posts. Make comments on their facebook or Instagram pages. Promote their website.

As Mr Tesco once said Every little helps.

Until next time. Have a great week

Jon XX

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