Don’t let your thoughts ruin your Christmas.

Hi. Welcome back to my last post of 2019. What a year it’s been. Ups and downs and a few surprises thrown in. However with all that I survived mine and you survived yours if you are reading this. so well done. The good bits hold in your heart the bad bits let them go. if you made mistakes, learn from them. if they weren’t your problem then don’t worry about it and just move on.

For my last blog I want to conclude my posts on  self confidence.

I am a great believer in positive thinking and self belief and daily affirmations have helped me so much. Remember what we say to ourselves we believe, our mind believes so think positive and you will stay positive.

Here are some quotes and affirmations that I would like to share with you for Christmas.

Self-Confidence Quotes

One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.

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Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment.

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Don’t let others put thoughts into your mind that takes away your self-confidence.
To excel at the highest level – or any level,

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you need to believe in yourself,

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Always be yourself and have faith in yourself.

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Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

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Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do and, at some point, you will.

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Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.

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Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

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As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

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Confidence is when you believe in yourself and your abilities, arrogance is when you think you are better than others and act accordingly.

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The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence .

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Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?

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To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.

Daily Affirmations

I believe in me.

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I’m getting stronger every day.

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I can do this.

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I am who I want to be

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I know my worth

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I’ve decided I’m good enough.

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I have the strength to change my story.

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I deserve to be happy and loved.

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I accept myself unconditionally.

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I love myself, and I accept myself as I am.

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I am confident.

When you get up in the morning choose an affirmation and smile at yourself in the mirror and say it to yourself. It’s a simple and powerful way to start your day.

Merry Christmas and I sincerely wish you all the very best for 2020.

See you in January. Have a good one.

Jon XX

These last few posts have been taken from my book ‘Can I Change?‘ Available from Amazon .It makes an ideal stocking filler.

 

Swipe left, Swipe right, ignore the world.

Hi

this week, I’m going to go off track, the reason this is that yesterday I went down London for the day And I could not believe how many people were walking around looking at their phones, they had their headphones on bumping into people stepping out in front of cars and not acknowledging the world around them.

Today Thursday the 10th of October is world mental health day And I am convinced that so many people now are living their life through their phones and their tablets. I spent some time yesterday people watching,  and in that time I don’t think anybody smiled at each other acknowledged each other or even looked around them to see even where they were.

Life is not about swiping left and swiping right life is not about apps that can make your life easier, life is for living.

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At one point I was walking down Regent Street the shop windows looked fabulous as always a lot of time and effort have been put into making them look that good, And I did not notice one person stop and appreciate all the hard work that gone in to making those shops look so fabulous. I also at one point stopped for coffee and again I sat there and people watched. I watched people walking to the shop on their Phone they sat down, still looking at their phones they ordered their coffee hardly taking their eyes off the screen, People were sitting in groups of three and four not talking to each other or perhaps they were but via text. Modern technology is killing social interaction. I saw families not talking to each other I saw groups of friends who weren’t talking to each other, I witnessed two people taking pictures of their biscuits. Has it really come to this that we know what biscuit you’re having with a coffee, that when we have a day out with friends, we don’t talk to her friend we just send pictures and text too other people. I wonder how many single people for walking down the road yesterday and had they just lifted the head from their Phones, They may have just seem the love of their life. No filters, no pouting, a real human being in the flesh.

How many of us walk around our hometown and not appreciated the architecture. how many of us are rude unintended of course bur still rude,  to people who work in shops and are trying to serve us and yet we do not end that Phone call. Is the call really that important?

In Oxford Street one of the busiest streets in the world I saw people walking into oncoming traffic, I saw people walking into lamp post into bins, all because they wouldn’t take their eyes off the screen for a moment. Even going down into the underground last night crowd of people were unaware of their surroundings and the danger they put others in had they have lost their footing on their steps or the escalator.

Now I am no Angel, I used to do the same, I could have people talking to me and if my Phone buzzed in my pocket, I would take it out and look at it mid conversation.  I have a good friend that pointed out to me that I always did this, yet I still did it.  It’s only now that I realise just how rude it is,

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Children are forgetting how to interact with others, you see toddlers in pushchairs with tablets in their hands and usually the young mum on her Phone as she pushes the child through perhaps a  colorful engaging park, Not pointing out the different trees not pointing out the wildlife that surrounds them,  Parents interact with your children, Share your knowledge, don’t leave up to Peppa pig or Google.

Via social media we talk to strangers every day. When was the last time you smiled at a real stranger, or said hi as you walked past? You do it on your phones why not do it in real life. You never know you just might make someone’s day.

Going back to the coffee shop yesterday, sat in the corner was a lady with a wonderful shade of blue hair It looked fantastic. She was of course on her phone; I presume playing games as her fingers were swiping all over the place and she looked bored. I made a point of approaching her as I was leaving and told her that I loved the colour of her hair and how good it looked on her. (No I was not hitting on her, I didn’t leave her my number) I just paid her a compliment and left, but as I looked back that young lady had the biggest smile on her face.

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So are you up for a challenge? I want as many of you as possible to leave your phone alone for at least one hour each day. I don’t mean when you are working, I mean leisure time, commuting time, down time. Talk to your friends, your family especially your children. Look around and I mean really look around. See what delights there are on your travels.

I do it now and I feel so much better for. It’s a small ask but it’s one that can make a major impact on your life.

Step out from behind the filters. No one really wants to see a picture of your lunch.

As I said in the beginning, life is for living. So live it.

Rant over.

Normal service will be resumed soon. Hopefully.

Until next time

Jon xx

 

Jon Adkin BAHyp Hypnotherapist.

www.jonadkin.com

Which mindset do you have?

Hi

Welcome to a new week and if your reading this on Tuesday, welcome to a new month. After last weeks curve ball of a blog about my travels, this week I want to return to what I know and do best.

I want to discuss mindset.

Can what you believe about yourself impact your success or failure? Psychologists think so. They believe your beliefs play a major role in what you want and whether you achieve it. So what is a mindset? People with a fixed mindset believe that these qualities are inborn, fixed, and unchangeable whereas those with a growth mindset, believe that these abilities can be developed and strengthened by way of commitment and hard work.

Let’s keep it simple before we dive in. A mindset is a way of thinking. a frame of mind. Your mindset is your collection of thoughts and beliefs that shape your thought habits.  And your thought habits affect how you think, what you feel, and what you do.  Your mind-set impacts how you make sense of the world, and how you make sense of you.

Your mindset is a big deal.

Why is it that some people seem to shine in any area in which they choose to exert themselves, and others cannot manage even a glimmer despite obvious talent?

Research shows that it’s the way that they think about their ability that really counts.

There are two ways to view intelligence or ability:

Ability it is fixed or ingrained – in other words, we are born with a certain level of ability and we cannot change that. This is called a fixed mindset.

We can develop our ability through hard work and effort. This is called a growth mindset.

These two different beliefs lead to different behaviour, and to different results. For example, students with a growth mindset were shown to increase their grades over time. Those who believed that their intelligence was ingrained did not. in fact, their grades got worse.

Having a growth mindset (the belief that you are in control of your own ability and can learn and improve) is the key to success.

This is why you should never praise children by talking about their ability, but instead describe the effort that they put in, and how much they have learned and developed their ability through the activity.

Don’t say: “Well done. You’re really good at maths.”

Do say: “That’s great. You tried really hard and look how well you’ve done.”

It is important to praise the process, not the talent or ability.

Believe in myself

Jon Adkin Hypnotherapist.

Mindset in Practice

People with these two mindsets actually think differently and also react to information differently.

In particular, they respond differently to information about performance.

In people with a fixed mindset, the brain is most active when they are being given information about how well they have done, for example, test results, grades or praise.

Whereas people with a growth mindset, the brain is most active when they are being told what they could do to improve.

It’s a very different approach: from ‘How did I do?’ to ‘What can I do better next time?’

One is about how they are perceived, and one is about how they can learn. You can see which one is likely to lead to better results in future.

How do you deal with setbacks may tell you what mindset you have.

People with a fixed mindset are very discouraged by setbacks, because a setback dents their belief in their ability. They tend to become uninterested and give up.

People with a growth mindset view a setback as an opportunity to learn. They tend to try harder in an effort to overcome the problem.

I am a strong believer that success and happiness are all about mindset. Your mindset and belief system affect everything in your life from what you think and feel to how you act and react to the world around you.

In order to achieve your goals, your mindset needs to match your aspirations, otherwise, it might be holding you back from getting where you want to be.

Book Cover
Available from Amazon in Paperback and Kindle 

Here are some effective ways you can upgrade your mindset:

  1. Change your Self-Talk

The conversations you have with yourself are a direct reflection of your mindset. If you are telling yourself “I am not good enough to achieve my dreams”, your thoughts will create your reality and your mindset will hold you back from having the life you want. To upgrade your mindset, change your negative self-talk to an empowerment speech. Sounds strange, but telling yourself “I can do this” or “I got this”, really works.

  1. Change your Language

After changing your inner thought dialogue and the story you are telling yourself, change the way you talk to other people. Avoid phrases like “I am always like this” or “I am always doing this” for encouraging a growth mindset. Also make it a habit to talk about the things that are going well in your life instead of complaining and talking about your problems. This will encourage a mindset of abundance instead of fear and lack.

  1. Determine the mindset you need and act as if

Pick a goal you want to achieve and ask yourself: “Which mindset do I need to achieve this goal?” and “Which mindset do people have that were successful at this goal?”.

For example, healthy & fit people might share the mindset “I love taking care of my body, nourishing it with whole foods and exercising every day.”. If it’s your goal to be healthy & fit, act as if you already HAVE the mindset of a healthy & fit person. This way, you are basically tricking your brain to adopt a new mindset and reinforcing it with action.

  1. Learn & Apply

Read books from great minds to understand and adopt their thinking. Read books about how the mind and brain works. Learn from mindset experts through online courses, events, and coaching.

Here are some mindset resources:

Mindset by Carol Dweck to learn about the growth mindset

Everything from Gabrielle Bernstein to adopt a mindset of abundance and align with the flow of life

The writing of Thomas Oppong on Medium for great nuggets on improving your thinking

  1. Surround yourself with people that match your desired mindset

Want to upgrade your money & success mindset? Start hanging out with people that are very successful and seem to have an abundance of money flowing their way at any time. It is easier to adopt a new mindset when you see that it is already working for other people. Learn how they think and adapt their daily habits to match their mindset.

  1. Create new habits to support your mindset change

Integrate powerful habits into your day that help your mindset change and reinforce your thinking with action. If you are upgrading from “fixed” to “growth” mindset, schedule time for learning and start noting down your learnings and achievements every day. If you are upgrading from “destination” to “journey” mindset, practice being mindful, enjoying the present moment and celebrating small successes.

  1. Step out of your comfort zone

If you put yourself in situations that challenge you, you have no other choice than to rise to the occasion and upgrade your mindset. It becomes a necessity to survive.

So ask yourself “What situations can I put myself in that will require me to operate on a higher mindset?”. Basically, the idea is to engineer your environment to train your brain!

Remember be careful in how you talk to yourself as we believe what we hear and we are listening to ourselves all the time.

Now I’m a little guy but I’ve had some really big guys in my Hypnotherapy practice where I have used a convincer shown to me by a fellow hypnotherapist to show them the power of our mind, and little old me was able to overpower a 6 foot giant (well I am only 5’4″).

So what mindset do you think you have and why do you think that? I would love to know.

Until next week. Have a great one

Jon x

I am a hypnotherapist based in Suffolk, I work in Suffolk, Cambridge and Essex.  I have written 6 children’s books and 1 adult anxiety book. I also paint (and I don’t mean my living room and kitchen )

 

This is still me.

Hi Welcome back.

So continuing where we left off in last week in last weeks blog After leaving the hospital feeling a bit sorry for myself I jumped around jobs as I never had a plan B. (Kids, always have a plan B) More dislocations meant more time doing nothing. but I didn’t like to sit around doing nothing I got a job designing kitchens which I enjoyed for many years until… my other shoulder started to dislocate. This meant more ops, more time in plaster. Now I never was a fan of daytime TV Kilroy (The Jeremy Kyle of its day) never did it for me. so I offered my services to my sons school, helping with reading, art etc. The head teacher use to pick me up in the morning (She was not a great driver bless her) and I would jump on the school bus at the end of the day. She then employed me as the midday assistant. in the end, that stop gap lasted 26 years. raising to the heights of ICT Manager. Now during my time at the school I suffered even more illness. I had two heart attacks, 2 strokes and a few more dislocations. On paper I was a mess.

Now as much as I loved working with the kids, due to the illnesses and constant hospital visits (bearing in mind I was still in my 30s at this time) I lost my confidence and self worth. Looking back I was dipping into depression and I needed to do something about it. Yes life had dealt me a bad hand but I had two choices. Curl up on the sofa and give up or pull myself together and make the most of life. I chose to do the latter, but I needed help.

I went to W H Smith (No Amazon back then. Yes I am that old) and I bought myself Paul McKennas Self hypnosis books. Little did I know that would not only change my life but it would eventually guide me to my career today.

Not only did that book and the videos. Yes videos (do you remember videos? if not ask your Mum or Dad) They not only helped me get back on track they actually made me even more confident and full of self belief. Thanks to Paul I was back, better than ever.

All them years ago I never ever thought I would one day be a professional Hypnotherapist, but I like to study and read, so I continued to buy Paul’s books and became more and more intrigued as to why hypnosis did what it did.  I read lots of books and watched some DVD’s (yep we have moved on ) and then about 4 years ago I decided to train. never intending to do it as a career, I was just interested.

I studied, I worked with volunteers, I even roped my reluctant son in to help me. The more I did, the more I enjoyed it. I could do it.  I could really do it.

I qualified as a Hypnotherapist and I was so proud of myself. I had set myself a goal and I had reached it. this was the start of a whole new chapter of my life.

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Now I finished last weeks blog with a question. Did I make it as an entertainer? Well yes and no. Not in the way that I had envisaged I wrote Children’s books. The Adventures of Carla Bear. (6 in the set so far)  and over the years in the school I dressed up in many many guises and entertained the kids. I ran some of the school discos and every Summer fete and Christmas Bazaar I was there behind the mic. I even proved the Doctors wrong and I played the drums again. I couldn’t do 4 hour gigs like I use to, but I could play again and for years I taught the kids at school drums.  I loved my time at the school and seeing the kids flourish but it was time for a change.

A big change.

I started to offer my hypnotherapy services on evenings and weekends and I was really pleased in the way it was received. I had found a new purpose in life. I love to help people and the buzz that I was getting was making me want to do more.

So I did.

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I bit the bullet and I left the school. I didn’t have any support but what I did have is a lot of self belief and confidence. I know I could make it work, I believed in me.  It’s now approaching nearly 2 years since I made that jump. The house has not been repossessed, I’m not starving and actually I’m having more holidays than I ever did before. I’m making it work.

I have a lot of happy clients as you can see from my testimonial page. I’m helping others to make the changes in their lives and that makes me happy.

Moral of this story. Set yourself goals and reach them. Believe in yourself and have the confidence to go forward. You will make mistakes, but learn from them, don’t look back.

Until next time

Jon XX

 

 

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