We do what we can.

Hi welcome to 2021 which has started off pretty much the same, but with the added bonus of a vaccine roll out but still no guarantees that life will get back to to normal anytime soon. So what have you done to adapt? I’m sure many have began home schooling again. (for those readers not in the UK we are in our 3rd lockdown) Are you working from home? if you are what have you had to change to make that work for you?

I’ve had to make a lot of changes not only in the way I work but also in how I connect with people. I can still do face to face sessions with clients but only if it is affecting their mental health and working online is not an option for them. My consultations and sessions can now be carried out via Zoom So I’m still here if needed. However I wanted to connect with more people, I use Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn You Tube, and Twitter and now I’ve moved on to TikTok. It’s not a platform just for teenagers anymore. I watched it for some time (actually can be quite addictive) and yep, there are a lot of older people on there. Yes I’m old actually pretty ancient on TikTok, but you know what. I like it. It allows me to get some advice across and also to be a little silly and bring a smile to some faces.

My TikTok ad

So what’s it all about and why have I jumped on the band wagon? Well TikTok is very diverse. yes there are lot’s of good looking girls strutting their stuff to various soundtracks but once you get beyond them there are some very clever, creative individuals who make videos for all sorts of entertainment. Some use it to get their comedy across, others use it to motivate or inspire the viewers. If you log in, just search for the type of thing that interests you. I have come across so many different videos which are entertaining, informative, thought provoking and some are just very very clever.

So why have I gone on there? Well anyone who know me knows I like to make people smile and TikTok allows me to do that. I can make a video using their special effects or I can just upload tips and advice, which then get seen worldwide. bottom line I can be silly or serious and in doing that I am either helping someone to smile that day or offering them advice that can last a lifetime. I’m still dipping my toe in and getting the balance right, but while I’m doing that I’m having fun and being creative. I add my link to my posts and I’ve already had enquiries from countries that I would never have got had I not been on TikTok.

Marketing my business on TikTok. Is it right for me and you?
TikTok has a huge, growing audience

There have been over 2 billion downloads of TikTok, and it has more than 800 million active users worldwide. The platform’s main demographic of users are teenagers and young adults; But the volume of users and the rate at which it’s growing means that it can provide access to a huge audience and it seems to be easier than on other channels to create video content that goes viral and reaches hundreds or thousands of people.

The audience is international

TikTok is used in over 150 different countries, and viral videos on the platform can reach all over the world. If you’re looking at reaching international markets, then TikTok is an effective platform for connecting with new audiences in other countries.

Video marketing is a priority

The trend for video marketing isn’t going away anytime soon. In fact, research has shown that 86% of people would like to see more video from brands. And while 85% of businesses are already using video as a marketing tool, TikTok is a good way to expand the reach of your video content. If you’re not already using video then it provides a fairly accessible way to incorporate video into your existing marketing strategy.

It’s easy to connect with an audience

It’s fairly straightforward to promote your business and reach an audience by launching a hashtag challenge. You can choose an idea or theme and then encourage users to create or recreate videos using a branded hashtag that you’ve come up with. It’s a good way to increase interactions with your brand and encourage engagement.

Is your target audience on TikTok?

While the audience on TikTok is huge, you need to consider whether the people that you are trying to target specifically are going to be using it. That being said, if your target audience isn’t currently using TikTok you also need to consider whether they will be in the near future. Although TikTok currently seems to be a Generation Z trend, most of the main social media platforms started off with a predominantly younger audience. Instagram for example, was initially used mainly by teenagers and young adults, but now its audience has diversified and there are millions of businesses also using it as a marketing channel. By getting involved with a new platform early I will be able to get a head start on my competitors. You can begin growing your audience before the platform is oversaturated with businesses and promoted content.

Content needs to be original and engaging

One of the upsides of using TikTok is that you don’t need to create high-quality, professionally filmed and edited videos – you can just use your smartphone. However, you do need to be able to come up with engaging, fun ideas, and your content needs to be original. This kind of content isn’t going to be possible for all businesses, and in some cases, it just won’t match with your product or your brand.

Although it requires some planning and it won’t be suitable for everyone, TikTok offers a lot of benefits and opportunities for businesses looking to expand their marketing channels and it’s worth getting involved now to take advantage of the platform as it grows.

PS. I’ve also relaunched my minute ads to help small businesses keep a presence on social media on a budget during this strange period.

As Tesco said.

“Every little helps”

Until next time

Stay safe. Stay Healthy.

Jon

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

What do we want. Confidence. When do we want it? NOW!

We all need confidence and self-belief. If we don’t believe in ourselves how do we expect others to believe in us. When I speak of confidence, I am not talking about blind arrogance. Those that are overly confident fall into yet another category. There is a fine line between those two.

However, I am referring to the self-confidence needed to believe in one’s own skills, goals, and ability to succeed. When you believe in yourself you are more likely to take action. To stand up and seize the moment. And to persevere long after those who doubt themselves.

Here are 10 Reasons That Self-Confidence Leads to Success:

  • The Drive to Start Things – Confident people start things. They are not shy about striking out on a new idea even when those around them are still pondering it.
  • The Ability to Stand Up for Oneself – Confidence allows you to stand up for yourself in a fair and consistent manner. Otherwise, you may find yourself unheard or unfairly treated.
  • The Ability to Say No – Confident people have the ability to say “No” where appropriate. They do not take on unnecessary or inappropriate work or obligations.
  • The Ability to Say Yes – And at the same time, confident individuals say “Yes” to opportunity. They do not miss new options because they are shy. I have seen individuals’ pass up opportunities (even promotions) because they didn’t think they were “worthy.”
  • Confidence Overcomes Fear – Lack of confidence can lead to paralysis from fear. Fear of failure. Fear of what others think. Fear of the unknown. To succeed, you need the confidence to face and overcome your fears.
  • Believe In Themselves – Self-confidence means believing in yourself. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” He was right.
  • Set the Bar High Enough – Confident individuals set the bar high and aim high. Lack of confidence leads to weak goals, setting the bar too low, and mediocre results.
  • Stretch Your Limits – Confidence lets you know your limits and test them. By stretching your limits you increase them. You are stronger than you think.
  • Confidence Asks Questions – Confidence allows you to ask questions, even when others are silent. Confidence even lets you “ask for the job.”
  • Believe In Winning – Confident people believe in success. And more importantly, they believe in their ability to succeed.

Why Confidence Matters

Confidence helps us feel ready for life’s experiences. When we’re confident, we’re more likely to move forward with people and opportunities — not back away from them. And if things don’t work out at first, confidence helps us try again. It’s the opposite when confidence is low.

We have it all inside of us. It just gets buried. Or covered up, so we have to unearth it. Or peel back those layers. Just like an onion.

Confidence is a belief in the ability of yourself in certain aspects of life. It can involve either confidence in your appearance, talents, or achievements. Self-confidence is the belief in “self” that transcends all that you do and shows others that you know you can accomplish whatever the task is at hand.

In this blog, I will look at some of the different aspects of self-confidence and focus on why we need the confidence to be successful in life.

Why Do We Need Confidence?

Having confidence and avoiding self-sabotage is essential for several reasons. One reason is that it convinces others that we know what we are doing. People tend to trust people that they think exude confidence in themselves more than people who lack this sense of confidence. By illustrating to others that you can do the job or satisfy their request, you will be able to be more successful with your goals and business interests.

When it comes to social situations, self-confidence draws more people to you by promoting a sense of self-worth. People tend to be attracted to people who have confidence in themselves and studies prove that it even makes them seem more attractive.

Also, having self-confidence gives your mind positive self-talk about what you can do, as well. By practicing confidence on a regular basis, you will start to believe it is right and you will react with a more positive attitude to everything you do. This situation can lead to a stronger sense of achievement, even at times when you are not achieving as highly as you would like to do.

Believe in yourself.

Why Self-Belief Is More Important Than You Think

Self-Belief is linked to almost every element involved in a happy life. Self-Belief is linked to almost every element involved in a happy and fulfilling life. I highlight five key rewards of self-Belief below. Understanding these benefits is an important first step toward living your best life with confidence.

Less Fear and Anxiety

The more confident you become, the more you’ll be able to calm the voice inside you that says, “I can’t do it.” You’ll be able to unhook from your thoughts and take action in line with your values. If you’ve suffered from low self-confidence, you’re probably familiar with rumination, or the tendency to mull over worries and perceived mistakes, replaying them ad nauseam. Excessive rumination is linked to both anxiety and depression, and it can make us withdraw from the world. But by filling up your tank with confidence, you’ll be able to break the cycle of over-thinking and quiet your inner critic.

Greater Motivation 

Building confidence means taking small steps that leave a lasting sense of accomplishment. If you’ve ever learned a language, mastered a skill, reached a fitness goal, or otherwise overcome setbacks to get to where you wanted to be, you’re well on your way.

You might be thinking, “Well, sure, I was proud of my ‘A’ in Maths back in high school, but what does that have to do with anything now?” If you think back to a key accomplishment in your life, you’ll likely find that it took a lot of perseverance. If you could triumph through adversity then, you can do it in other areas of your life where you feel self-doubt.

As your confidence grows, you’ll find yourself more driven to stretch your abilities. “What-if” thoughts will still arise: “What if I fail?” “What if I embarrass myself?” But with self-assurance, those thoughts will no longer be paralyzing. Instead, you’ll be able to grin and act anyway, feeling energized by your progress in pursuing goals that mean something to you.

Yes you can

More Resilience

Confidence gives you the skills and coping methods to handle setbacks and failure. Self-Belief doesn’t mean you won’t sometimes fail. But you’ll know you can handle challenges and not be crippled by them. Even when things don’t turn out anywhere close to what you planned, you’ll be able to avoid beating yourself up. As you keep pushing yourself to try new things, you’ll start to truly understand how failure and mistakes lead to growth. An acceptance that failure is part of life will start to take root. Paradoxically, by being more willing to fail, you’ll actually succeed more — because you’re not waiting for everything to be 100 percent perfect before you act. Taking more shots will mean making more of them.

Improved Relationships

It might seem counterintuitive, but when you have more self-confidence and self-worth, you’re less focused on yourself. We’ve all been guilty of walking into a room and thinking, “They’re all looking at me. They all think I look dumpy and that every word I say is stupid.” The truth is, people are wrapped up in their own thoughts and worries. When you get out of your own head, you’ll be able to genuinely engage with others. You’ll enjoy your interactions more because you won’t be so worried about the kind of impression you’re making, and you won’t be comparing yourself to others. Your relaxed state will put others at ease as well, helping you forge deeper connections.

Self-belief can also breed deeper empathy. When you’re fully present, you’re more likely to notice that your date seems to be a little down, or that a friend in the corner looks like she needs a shoulder to cry on. When you’re not preoccupied with your own self-doubt, you can be the person who reaches out to help others.

Stronger Sense of Your Authentic Self

Finally, confidence roots you in who you really are. You’ll be able to accept your weaknesses, knowing they don’t change your self-worth. You’ll also be able to celebrate your strengths and use them more fully.

Your actions will be in line with your principles, giving you a greater sense of purpose. You’ll know who you are and what you stand for. You’ll have the skills to show up, stand up, and speak up. In other words, you’ll be able to let your best self shine through.

A Few Action Steps

Write down a favourite confidence quote and put it somewhere you’ll see it often. I do this all the time.

Do you have a photograph of a time you felt confident and successful? It could be a graduation photo, a picture of you as a kid after you learned to ride a bike or anything else that resonates with you. Hang it on your fridge or bathroom mirror, and reflect on all the steps it took to get to that point.

If you still need help. I offer packages for both men and women to bring out that confidence. Visit. www.jonadkin.com/packages to find out more.

Want to know more? Contact me or a hypnotherapist near you. Don’t let a fear or phobia control your life.

Until next time.
Stay safe. Stay happy.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Lockdown 2 Survival tips

So lockdown 2 has begun. Or Jamanji level 11 2020 As I like to call it.

We have survived it once we can survive it again but this time with an added strength because we know that we can do it.
Since it was announced I was looking for clarification as to whether I would be able to stay open and offer support to those that are anxious about lockdown, I was going to offer online sessions anyway but I do have a lot of clients where they prefer face to face rather than online. I understand that. I also understand how this new lockdown could be a tipping point for many. It’s colder, so we are not so quick to go out and do our daily walk. The days are so much shorter, and that means that you sit down and overthink so much more. So the lockdown take a different shape this time around.

I’m Open


Anyway I was given the all clear to stay open with guidelines of course, but at least people will know that there is help out their for them if not from me, from one of my very capable friends. So don’t let this lockdown get into your head. You are in control of your thoughts so keep them positive ones.


I’ve put together tips to survive this lockdown below. Some are mine, some are ones that I thought were great suggestions from various websites. As long as they help you I’m happy.

  • Keep to a routine – everyone is in unfamiliar territory with the current pandemic, so
    keeping some normality and routine is vital. Try to get up and go to bed at your normal time.
    Getting enough sleep, eating regularly and keeping hydrated will help optimise your health to
    fight the bugs off. Children can be particularly sensitive to upheaval, so try and make their day
    structured with set ground rules/boundaries, and stick to them.
  • Variety is the spice of life – A variety of activities will help stave off any boredom, you
    don’t have to just resort to box-sets and daytime TV. Gardening is a great activity, and fun to
    do with kids. Giving it a good old clean up at this time of year is ideal and if the kids are helping all our creepy crawly friends are out in force. You don’t even have to have a garden, as many things can be grown easily on a window sill. Local garden centres are also offering free home delivery. Reading a book or keeping your mind active with puzzles/quizzes/crosswords etc. are easy activities to get
    started with, and there are loads of activities available online, for adults and kids, that have
    been made free during the lockdown. Why not try to learn a new language, a musical instrument
    or broaden your horizons with a free opera broadcast?
  • Regular Exercise & fresh air – exercise is often the first thing to go out of the window
    when our daily routine is disrupted. Exercise not only keeps us physically well, but is also a great
    way to de-stress and protect our mental health. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, if you are
    stuck indoors there are lots of HIIT (high intensity interval training) sessions you can do
    quickly, or do something simple like walking up and down the stairs a few times. Anything is
    better than nothing. If you can get outside even better, 30 minutes of a brisk walk/run/bike is
    plenty (maintaining your social distancing!).
    If you are lucky enough to have your own garden or outside space make the most of it if the weather is nice. If you don’t, or if you struggle to get out, then open the window and let some fresh air in.
    If it’s a clear night why not go out for a walk in the evening and do a bit of stargazing?
Don’t start snacking
  • Healthy eating – like exercise, when our routine is disrupted or we get stressed, eating
    habits can go to pot. Try and eat regular meals. Avoid too much snacking, or if you do, try to
    choose healthy snacks like nuts or fruit. Use it as an opportunity to get adventurous with
    cooking, and learn some new culinary skills. If you have kids at home, baking or cooking is a fun
    activity to do together and educational for them too. There are loads of recipes ideas online if
    you need them.
  • Limit social media & news feeds – it’s great to stay informed, but getting obsessive and
    tuning in all the time can be detrimental. If you are finding your anxiety ramping up, try to stay
    away and limit access to once a day. Also make sure you get your info from reputable sources,
    have a healthy scepticism of anything you read online or on social media. If you are not sure,
    look on official websites (NHS, Gov.uk) or ask your friendly GP (practice website or e-consult if
    available).
  • Help neighbours – elderly, unwell, or immobile neighbours are going to be at greater risk
    during this period. If you have time why not give them a call to check on how they are doing,
    and if you are doing an essential shopping run ask them if they need anything. Many communities
    are setting up formal volunteering groups which you could get involved in.
  • Stay connected, make the most of technology – we are fortunate to live in an age
    where there is a huge number of ways to keep connected. Just because you are in isolation
    doesn’t mean you can’t keep in contact via telephone or video call. Many methods offer group
    chats/calls so you can get the extended family all together, or your kids can keep in contact
    with their friends. Facetime, Skype, WhatsApp, Zoom are a good starting point.
Keep in touch.
  • Support local businesses – restaurants, bars and shops are going to take a big hit in the
    coming weeks, and without support may struggle to keep afloat. If they continue to offer home
    delivery or takeaway why not treat yourself now and again and support your local community.
    We will miss them when they are gone if we don’t!
  • Look after you mental health – as mentioned already, routine, exercise and avoiding too
    much social media/news can all help safeguard your mental health. However, if you are starting
    to struggle there is help out there for you. Calm and Headspace are great resources for
    anxiety which usually need a subscription but currently are offering free content. Your GP can
    also help or signpost you if needed, and there are many other charitable organisations that
    offer support online or by telephone*.
  • Relax, give yourself a break – particularly relevant if you are trying to juggle working
    from home I would hope that most employers will be supportive and understand that productivity just isn’t going to be the same in the current situation. So cut yourself some slack and don’t put yourself under too much pressure – everyone needs a bit of me time and a break.
    And finally…remember this isn’t going to last forever. Stay safe, be kind and supportive to
    each other and we will come out of this stronger.

Until next week, or possibly the week after 

Have a great week or two.

Take care and stay safe.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

IEMT What is it? What could it do for you?


Over this Covid period I wanted to use this time to expand my knowledge and learn something new that would help even more of my clients. I didn’t want to learn new hypnotherapy techniques as I believe that you should hone in on the skills that you have and expand on those and I’m getting some fantastic results with my clients and that makes me happy. So I looked for something that would compliment my hypnotherapy practice but offer something that was non hypnotic. I did lots of research and joined various groups to get an insight as to what was available.
Believe me there are lots. Now I’m not going to rubbish any of them or the courses that are available, as some were very credible but boy there are loads of scammers out there. If you are thinking of expanding your knowledge please be careful with who you sign up for. Don’t be so quick to throw your money away.
Anyway I digress. After months of research I decided that IEMT was a great fit for my practise. There are some great trainers out there and I decided to work with Matt Kendall at the IEMT Academy. I took the IEMT Practitioners course, and I am so glad I did.


So what is IEMT? Well the academy’s tag line is ‘Creating change in the blink of an eye’ and that sums it up perfectly. Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT) is a developing area rapid change work that explores the area of undesired emotions and our ways of being. The process explores the question, “How did we learn to feel the way that we do?” and opens up the possibility of creating the appropriate change in our emotional lives. By teaching resources and skills inside the problem state, IEMT appears to bring the client more into the present moment and enables them to better stay out of past negative experiences.

Practitioners consistently report that IEMT has created change in their clients where no other approach has worked previously. IEMT is an excellent tool for dealing with a wide range of emotional issues. It is particularly effective in dealing with:
• Stress and Anxiety
• PTSD and Flashbacks
• Insomnia
• Feelings of guilt, regret and remorse
• Fears and phobias Dealing with overwhelm
• Removing negative memories and traumatic experiences
• Panic attacks
• Overcoming long term identity issues such as divorce

IEMT now available from Jon Adkin Hypnotherapist.

Now you may have heard or even had EMDR. So what’s the differences Between EMDR and IEMT Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT). Both the EMDR and IETM models use eye movements but in practice that is where the similarity ends. You may be told that EMDR and IEMT are exactly the same in the same way that Freud’s ‘Psychoanalysis’ and Bandler’s ‘NLP’ are exactly the same because they both use words. EMDR is a model used mainly by licenced medical professionals such as psychologists and psychiatrists. IEMT can be used by anyone trained in the model.

Where EMDR is primarily used to treat “trauma”, something it is very effective at doing. However IEMT is much more about the Patterns of Chronicity. These are 5 primary patterns that appear common to many chronic patients with, or without a history of trauma.
To summarise the differences:
Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT)
• Is a model built around addressing and resolving The 5 Patterns of Chronicity
• Has applications in resolving PTSD
• Traumatic imagery is largely irrelevant to the process
• Addresses imprints of emotion for creating kinaesthetic change
• Addresses imprints of identity for creating change in self concept
• Uses eye movement as the dominant mechanism for change
• By design readily creates introspection and an alpha state with free floating imagery
• Prior qualification is not necessary for training in IEMT
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)
• Is a model built around resolving trauma
• Is an application for resolving PTSD
• Traumatic imagery is central to the work and the client is encouraged to “observe” trauma
• Uses eye movement as well as tapping and alternating sounds
• Utilises affirmations and positive belief statements

Want to know if IEMT can help you?

So I’ve done my training, I’ve done my case studies (with fantastic results, Their words not mine) and now I’m ready to offer it to clients. Working with me and IEMT is just two sessions. No fluff, no reliving the original issue. And best of all during this Covid period it can be done online via Zoom or face to face in my practice.
I will also offer an IEMT/Hypnotherapy combination. This will be offered to clients who feel they need the hypnotherapy change alongside the IEMT release.
The bottom line is that I will always offer what is the best solution for my clients to be able to live and enjoy their life.

Until next week, or possibly the week after 

Have a great week or two.

Take care and stay safe.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

It’s a bit like torture.

When people come to my hypnotherapy practise in Haverhill, I find a lot of the time that the issue isn’t the issue. What I mean by that is that they come to me for and say anxiety, but they don’t know what set it off, or they blame the wrong event, anxiety is a mixture of emotions and it’s when those emotions all get together that you start to suffer. So when people come to see me, we always talk first, and I do this for two reasons. firstly, by talking I can begin to understand what the client is feeling, I can build up trust and make notes on what they say and how they feel it’s affecting them. However more importantly, is that by talking about their issues and how it’s affecting them I know that the subconscious is listening, and it is the subconscious that needs to make the changes.

So why have I said it’s a bit like torture? Well, if you think of your mind like a bucket under a dripping tap, and over the years, even when you small child, all the things that you have ever seen, heard, smelt, and felt are all stored  in your subconscious mind. All the happy memories, all the good times, times when you laughed, times when you felt happy on the inside and on the outside. Times when you may have heard a certain song, and if you were to hear that song today you go straight back to when that melody got into your head. Certain smells may transport you back to perhaps your grandparents house, something like a real fire burning or in my case A paraffin heater. At this time of year if I go out for a walk and I see some conkers on the floor, it brings a smile to my face because at the end of my street that I was brought up on were some huge conker trees, and me and my mates which stand there for ages throwing sticks as high as we could to get the biggest conkers down. For me they were great days and those memories will forever stay in my head. However our subconscious doesn’t only store the good stuff, all the bad stuff is in there too, The insults, The putdowns, the bullying, the injustices, the guilt, the grief every bit of negativity that we have had said to us or we have put on ourselves is stored in our subconscious. So that bucket under the dripping tap has been filling up bit by bit and then one day out of the blue something happens, that makes that bucket overflow, and it all comes out.  

Our mind is like a dripping tap

Now, that thing that made that bucket overflow could be something really simple, on its own not a problem at all, but because it was the straw that broke the camel’s back you focus on that as the problem that you come to see me with. And if you don’t go and see somebody, you end up focusing on the wrong problem for the cause of your anxiety. Think about it you are at home and your child accidentally drops a plate or a glass, and because your mind (your bucket) is full of unwanted thoughts and memories You overreact. You start shouting at the child, you angrily try to pick up the pieces of the broken glass or crockery and you may cut yourself so you shout more at the child As that plate or glass hit the floor that was the drip that made your bucket overflow.  

Now you are annoyed, now you are angry, the child is upset crying perhaps hiding away from you and because they are crying and making irritating sounds you get even more annoyed. So the cycle begins, you blame the child for your anxiety , you blame the child because you cut your finger, you blame your child for ruining your day she blamed the child for everything, but hang on that’s not right.

Just one drip can make us overreact

Let’s take a step back, let’s look at the situation but from a Birds Eye view.

There you are resting on the sofa, you just been speaking to work and you’re a bit stressed, your daughter senses that mum is a bit stressed, she wants to help, she notices the washing up on the side so while mum is resting she decides to do the washing up, she can’t quite reach the sink but she does her best, she washes the plates, the pans and she is reaching into the Sink And with her soapy slippery hands she picks up the last glass, but as she lifts it up it slides out of her hands and on to the floor. You go running into the kitchen, you see the broken glass, you see the water on the floor, and you shout you lose it. You shout at your daughter you become angry, you become irrational, you’re annoyed and you pick up the glass from the floor and as you do you cut yourself, in your eyes that’s your daughters fault as well. Now look at the scene your daughter is crying and looking scared, you’re angry and bleeding from the cut on your hand, and you feel the anxiety rising in your body.

When the issue isn’t the issue

So let’s look at the facts, your daughter sensed the stress and she wanted to do something nice for you, she wanted to give you one less thing to have to worry about, so she decided to do the washing up. It was a lovely gesture because she didn’t want to see mummy stressed. She did her best, and through no fault of her own she accidentally dropped a glass, actually she didn’t drop it, it slipped, slipped from her soapy hands because she was trying to do something nice for you. You were stressed on the sofa, you heard the glass break and before you assessed the situation you got angry, you overreacted, you lost it. Whereas what you should have done is comforted your daughter, make sure she was okay, after all to please you she had pulled a chair up to the sink, she put her hands in hot soapy water, there might have been some sharp knives in there, she didn’t care, she wanted to make life easier for you, when that glass slipped out of her hand she obviously became very upset, and had you not overreacted you would have notice that.

That incident is not the cause of your outburst, that incident was just the straw that broke the camels back. Perhaps the call from work started that bucket to overflow, perhaps it was the fact that you stubbed your toe this morning and it put you in a bad mood, or perhaps it was because when you came down this morning the cat had been sick and you had to clean it up. But you lost it, you overreacted to something that was being done to help you.

Now you know what was really going on, take a deep breath, relax and now what would you do?

How many of you can relate to this?

It’s so common, Hypnotherapy can help. We can release some of that clutter, imaging having a valve that you can open at any time. We can change the past but we can change the way it affects us.

If you would like to know more about hypnotherapy contact me, and if I can’t help you I have a network of other therapists that can.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It’s actually a sign of strength.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Until next week, or possibly the week after 

Have a great week or two.

Take care and stay safe.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.