Motivate Yourself and Your Staff

Audio Version of April Blog

“Stay away from those people who try to disparage your ambitions. Small minds will always do that, but great minds will give you a feeling that you can become great too.”

Mark Twain

Welcome to April’s blog. This month I want to chat about motivation. For some time now I have been posting on TikTok, just 15 second motivational videos, Giving words of encouragement and strength and letting people know they are not alone. I don’t have a massive following (about 1600 but rising daily) but what I do have is a loyal following. I record these videos to help others. But you know what, their words back to me of thanks and appreciation help me as much as I like to help them.

So this got me thinking, We all need a bit of motivation in our lives. What do you do or say to motivate yourself? First of all you need to find out what motivates you or perhaps you employ people and you want to motivate them. Find out what motivates them.

Do you know what gets you or them out of bed in the morning? What are you or them passionate about –your goals, their goals, aspirations, and interests? In other words, do you really know your yourself or your employees? Great leaders show an interest in their people’s jobs and career aspirations in order to motivate them the right way. Once that’s been established, they look into the future to create learning and development opportunities for their people or themselves. They find out what motivates their best people by getting to know what desires will drive each person as an individual. This is about emotional engagement.

Praise and compliment them often.

“I don’t like to be recognized,” said no human being, ever. Managers have to get into the habit of praising and complimenting their people for their good qualities and work. Companies in a recent study with the highest engagement levels use recognition and praise as a powerful motivator to get their commitment. They found that employees who receive it on a regular basis increase their individual productivity, receive higher loyalty and satisfaction scores from customers, and are more likely to stay with their organization. How regular are we talking? Praise should be given once per week. Praise yourself, praise the people who are around you.

Help co-create purposeful work.

People want meaning and purpose in their work. You want meaning and purpose in your life. Give and Take, when people find purpose in their life or work, it not only improves that person’s happiness, it also boosts productivity. One way to give employees that purpose, is to have them meet the very people they are helping and serving, even if just for a few minutes. Managers giving their people access to customers so they can see first hand the human impact their work makes is the greatest human motivator.


“Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.”

Winston S Churchill

Help yourself to develop new skills. Help them develop new skills.

Although important, I’m not so much talking about putting them through another required technical or safety training program to keep them or the business compliant, but actually giving them meaningful new skills or knowledge in other areas that they can use to leverage their natural strengths for future roles, whether with their current company or another company. The point is to serve and value them so exceptionally well as people and workers that they have no reason to leave but use their newfound skills for new projects.

Actively involve yourself. Actively involve them.

Great managers recognize that leadership doesn’t travel one way but is multi-directional. While it can come from the top down at critical times, the best scenario is allowing decisions, information, and delegation to travel from peer to peer or from the bottom up, where the collective wisdom and involvement of the whole team help solve real issues in real time on the frontlines.

Believe in yourself. Believe in them.

The best managers delegate often and give their employees responsibility for delivering challenging work. If this doesn’t happen in your workplace, consider two hard questions that work in business and in day to day life:

  • Do you trust your knowledge workers to do what they’ve been hired to do?
  • Do they have the right competence for the job to carry out the work with confidence?

So often managers underestimate the potential and ability of their employees to use their brains! If you answered yes to the questions above, be of the mindset to always accept that they can do the work. Then, give them the room to perform and support them with whatever they need to make them even better. This is how you motivate them to the rafters.

So how do you find that motivational Mindset?


“Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.”

Will Rodgers

How to Find Motivation

1. Just Start

Urgh. Don’t you just hate this advice?

Still, there’s a reason we’ve all heard it a million times: it can work wonders.

You don’t always need to reason with your emotions or rationalize why you need to do something. You can deal with those negative feelings later on, at the right time. Instead, try setting aside all of the negative emotions and simply START.

As the famous writer Mark Twain once said: “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”

2. Break Tasks Down Into Small Steps

Woah… another piece of ground-breaking, never-heard-before advice, right?

Again, there’s a reason so many people recommend that you use this tactic when trying to motivate yourself – sometimes it’s the simplest things done well that work the best.

Remember, you can’t do everything at once.

Here’s a method to help you find motivation to get things done: Write down what you need to do on a piece of paper. Then, write down every single step you need to take to make it happen. Finally, ignore everything except the step you’re working on.

Once in the flow, you may just find it easier to continue with the next task.

3. Create a Positive Mindset

Getting motivated is almost impossible if you’re looking at the situation from a negative viewpoint. On the other hand, positivity can be energizing and help you to motivate yourself.

So, pause and ask yourself, “what’s good about this situation?”

As the author Catherine Pulsifer said, “If we have the attitude that it’s going to be a great day it usually is.”

4. Create a Feeling of Gratitude

When you find yourself stuck in a rut, it can feel impossible to motivate yourself. So before you try to motivate yourself, take a step back and try to appreciate how you feel.

When you feel appreciation for yourself, it’s much easier to stay motivated.

One of the quickest ways to feel good about yourself is to practice gratitude – it’s almost entirely impossible to feel low and grateful at the same time.

To practice gratitude, start by writing down three things you’re grateful for. These could be anything – from your morning coffee, to your pet, or even the comfortable chair you sit on.

Ideally, you could make this part of your daily routine to find everyday motivation.


“There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.”

Mr Rodgers

5. Be Kind to Yourself

When you procrastinate or make a mistake, it’s easy to beat yourself up. In fact, if you’re like many people, you may find that you internally “speak” to yourself in a mean way.

If you notice yourself doing this, pause and try to speak to yourself kindly instead. You wouldn’t speak to someone else that way, so why do it to yourself? You deserve your own kindness.

Try to remember your true inherent value as a human being. Then, allow yourself to gently come back to the task at hand.

6. Be Constructive

When you realize you’ve made a mistake or finally bring yourself back from a procrastination session, you have a golden opportunity to learn and improve.

Ask yourself, “Why did I make this mistake? How can I avoid making the same mistake in the future?”

If you do this and act on what you learn, you’ll transform mistakes into opportunities.

An entrepreneur once said, “We need to accept that we won’t always make the right decisions, that we’ll screw up royally sometimes – understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success.”

7. Cut Your To-Do List Down

To-do lists can help us organize our tasks and focus on what’s important. However, they can also overwhelm us so much that we end up procrastinating even more.

So, if you find yourself struggling to stay motivated, cut your to-do list down to a more manageable size.

Each day, choose no more than three tasks and make that your new to-do list. Then, ignore all but the first item. You may find that with time, you can take on a longer to-do list.

8. Set Attainable Goals That Excite You

If you have a goal that feels too big or unattainable, it may make you feel crippled with anxiety and fear. This is a surefire way to prevent yourself from developing motivation.

For now, let go of goals that paralyze you. Instead, choose exciting enough goals to help you motivate yourself, but not so big that you freeze when facing them.

Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.”

9. Imagine Your Future If You Don’t Change

This tip can make inspiring yourself easy: Instead of focusing on the change you want, imagine the life you’ll have if you don’t stay motivated.

Ask yourself, “What will life be like in one year, five years, and ten years?”

I will continue this blog next month. Let me know if you implement any of these ideas and if you do, let me know how you get on.

Until next month.

I wish you health and happiness.

Take care

Jon X

Jon Adkin BAHyp Clinical Hypnotherapist and IEMT Practitioner.

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New Beginnings

Audio Version of This Months Blog

Whether you welcome a fresh beginning or dread it, I want to help you move forward with confidence. Changes happen for a variety of reasons–sometimes we want a change and sometimes we need it. Other beginnings happen because life is hard and time marches on.

Let your past make you better. NOT bitter

You’ve Got This

When You Want A New Beginning

There’s nothing like the feeling of starting something new when it’s a change you choose to pursue. You’re confident about a new direction, but nervous energy is very real. I can help you channel that nervousness into genuine excitement.

Of the four types of new beginnings, this one is my favourite. I admit, I love change. I honestly don’t know why…maybe it’s the thought of a challenge and conquering new things for the achiever in me? I realize however, not everyone is as enthusiastic about change as I am, but there are definitely times when people look forward to fresh beginnings that are exciting or compelling.

A New Start

Why You Might Want A Fresh Start

New beginnings are welcomed for a variety of reasons, like trying something new, taking on a new challenge or finally stepping outside of our comfort zone. I love the energy that comes with a fresh start.

  • getting a new job
  • moving to another city or state
  • buying or building a home
  • starting a business
  • pursuing a new hobby
  • traveling internationally
  • getting married
  • having or adopting or fostering children (My adoption story is a great one, but I realise I was very very lucky)
  • learning a new language
  • changing careers
  • following a dream

When we start something new, we do it  because we want it, it can lead to some pretty amazing adventures. Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now. Remember, we only get one shot.

When You Need A New Beginning

Sometimes you start something new because you know you need a change. Self-awareness can make this pretty obvious, but it takes work to really be in tune with ourselves and our circumstances. A new beginning can motivate you to make a productive change.

Being intentional about reflection is one of the best ways to assess our lives and make adjustments in a positive direction. If we’re unhappy about an area of our life, then we should figure out a way to change it. And if we can’t change it, we can commit to a new attitude about it.

I’ll be honest here. I don’t have a whole lot of patience with modern day attitudes when they’re unhappy about something that’s in their power to change. I struggle in conversations with teenagers or other adults who feel like life happens to them and there’s nothing they can do about it.

We always have a choice about how we respond and whether we stay where we are or move forward toward something better, even if it’s hard to get started.

Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.

It all Starts With You

Why You Might Need A New Start

You might know you need a fresh beginning, but it’s still hard to take the first step toward something unfamiliar. If you know the outcome will be worth the effort, you can do the hard work it takes to get there.

  • exercising more often
  • ending toxic friendships or relationships
  • taking care of your mental health
  • choosing gratitude (I wrote about how I choose gratitude even when it’s the last thing I feel like doing.)
  • establishing healthy boundaries with family and friends
  • making rest and sleep a priority
  • eating healthier food
  • losing weight
  • fighting addiction
  • finding community (Life is busy, but here’s how and why you need to make time for friends.)
  • facing our fears
  • going back to work after staying home with kids
  • changing jobs or careers
  • When my marriage hit its lowest point.

Sometimes you need an extra push to make a change you know you need to make. New beginnings can give you the encouragement and confidence you need.

Join Me on TikTok For A Month Of Advice

A New Beginning Because Life Is Hard

At some point, crisis will touch us all. The aftermath of a crisis demands something different because you can’t go back to the way things were. New beginning will help you put one foot in front of the other to keep moving forward. These new beginnings are the hardest. Sometimes we just don’t see them coming or they’re forced upon us. We can’t avoid them and we certainly didn’t choose them:

Why Life Can Be Hard Sometimes

These are the most difficult new beginnings and the ones we resist the most. A painful ending often transitions into a new beginning that feels forced upon us.

  • losing a job
  • the death of a loved one
  • a divorce or breakup
  • losing a close friend after an argument or misunderstanding
  • saying goodbye to friends or family because of a move
  • financial difficulty
  • physical or emotional struggles after an accident
  • losing someone to suicide
  • dealing with the heartbreak of a miscarriage
  • struggling with infertility
  • parenting a child with a disability
  • dealing with a frightening diagnosis like cancer or dementia

New beginnings will remind you that there’s more life to live on the other side of crisis, and you can make it there.

Don’t be afraid of new beginnings. Don’t shy away from new people, new energy, new surroundings. Embrace new chances at happiness.

Believe in Yourself.

A New Beginning Because Time Marches On

Sometimes we start something new simply because we can’t stop time. Seasons of life come and go, regardless of how ready we are. When we find ourselves in those moments, new beginning quotes can remind us to enjoy each step of our life’s journey.

As I get older, I’m much more aware of the passing of time. If I’m not paying close attention, I end up in a different season of life and struggle to adjust because I don’t even know it’s happening. These fresh beginnings sometimes creep up on us, even though we know they’re coming eventually.

Make this your Month

How Time Marches On

Life moves so much faster than we realize. We welcome a new year every 365 days, but it can still surprise us. Sometimes we welcome the passing of time and other times we resist it.

I feel like I’m in the middle of some significant life changes right now that I wasn’t quite ready for, perhaps the last few years, I’ve had a lot of pretty major things happen and although it’s pretty normal for people in their 50s,

At 54 I decided to leave a job I had been in for 26 years. I had no financial backing, no support from my wife but I had one thing, which I had in abundance. Belief in myself. I knew I wanted to help others and hypnotherapy had got me through a vary bleak period in my life due to a lot of serious illness. And I wanted to do the same for people who were struggling.

5 years down the line, I’m still in business, I’m building a good reputation and I’m helping people get back on track to enjoy their lives. Thanks to Zoom I now work all over the world. And since the pandemic hit I have found a new outlet in TikTok which allows me to get messages of support and encouragement to a much wider audience If you want to follow me you can by clicking here. Each month I offer words of comfort, support and encouragement on different subjects and this month it is New beginnings.

If you are ready to start again (but this time with experience) or just ready to take a new path Contact me. I would love to support you on your next chapter.

Until next month

Stay safe, stay healthy.

Take care.

Jon X

Jon Adkin BAHyp Clinical Hypnotherapist and IEMT Practitioner.

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Love Yourself First

February Blog in Spoken Word

In This Month Of Love. Love you first.
Welcome to my February blog. So this month I would like to talk about self-love. Well, it is February and that means the month of love, but why is self-love important. Well, there is a quote that says
“Self-Love is not selfish; you cannot truly love another until you know how to love yourself.”
And that is so true. As I’ve said many times “It all starts with you.”
How can you expect others to love you if you don’t love yourself. Think about it. Could you love you if you met yourself at a party? To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness. Work on being in love with the person in the mirror who has been through so much but is still standing.


So how can you love yourself? Well let me help you.
The first step in learning to love yourself is understanding the meaning of self-love. Think of it in the context of the love you have for your partner or a close friend: You are aware of their flaws but appreciate how those imperfections make up the person you care about, trust and support. Now turn all that compassion, forgiveness and understanding inward. “Self-love means accepting your strengths, your weaknesses and everything in between
It’s so easy to tell someone “Love yourself” and much more difficult to describe how to do it. Self-love is not simply a state of feeling good; it is an action. Self-love is a choice. It is a way of relating to yourself that involves being understanding for your mistakes, understanding in your losses, and being able to effectively communicate with yourself about life without harshly judging or punishing yourself.

It all Starts With You

Research has shown that learning how to self-love is associated with:

  • Less anxiety and depression
  • Better recovery from stress
  • An overall more optimistic outlook on life
  • Better adherence to healthy behaviour changes

In short, self-love is how you view yourself and how you treat yourself.

Why is Self-Love Important?

Learning how to self-love is important to living happier and healthier in every aspect of your life. It influences who you pick to be your mate for life, the image you project at work, how you accomplish your work, the way you raise your children, the way you interact with those around you and the way you cope with the problems in your life.

Why You Might Be Lacking Self-Love

Low self-esteem or lack of self-love is something that could be developed in childhood and carry through to adulthood. Or, it is something that could present itself solely in adulthood.

Some negative behaviours that can be attributed to a lack of self-love, according to the National Association for Self-Esteem:

  • Earlier sexual activity
  • Alcohol and drug abuse
  • Self-harm
  • Eating disorders

You might be lacking self-love for a variety of reasons or habits, as noted above. It can be because of the actions of those around you, because of a traumatic event in your life, because you lacked a good example of self-love, or simply because of a way of thinking that you innately practice. But, one important thing to remember is that low self-esteem due to a lack of self-love is not an accurate reflection of reality, rather a reflection of your perception on reality.

Tips to Learn How to Self-Love

While self-love is not necessarily innate, it can be taught. Here are some helpful tips on how to self-love today:

Recognise How You Are Feeling

You’ve probably heard the cliché saying that “the first step to overcoming a problem is admitting that you have one.” Well, one of the first steps to learning how to self-love is kind of similar – it is becoming aware of yourself. We all feel a variety of emotions throughout our life – sadness, anger, frustration, loneliness, happiness, and more. When something is off, it is important to take a moment to recognise how you are feeling at that moment and why.

Why are you sad? Why are you angry? Why are you happy? In self-love, you must be mindful so that you can begin to shift any negative state that is involved in those feelings.

Accept How You Are Feeling

While there is nothing wrong with feeling any of the emotions we mentioned or others, it is important that once you recognise your emotions you can accept them. Whether you want to feel it or not, the feeling is there. Take a moment to pause and sit with that feeling. Now, scan your body to see where you feel it.

Think About Your Feelings from an Outsider’s Perspective

How would you feel if you saw a loved one experiencing the feeling you are experiencing at that moment? Then, think about how you might encourage them to proceed. What is funny about life and our brains is that we treat ourselves entirely different than we treat others. While we might try to enforce a positive behaviour on our friend or family member experiencing a negative emotion, we would beat ourselves up for feeling this way. View this situation with a kind eye and be kind to yourself. Love yourself in that moment and all moments.

Forgive Yourself

This self-love tip really has two points to it: First, decide what it will take to forgive yourself for whatever the situation is. Second, make a conscious decision to forgive yourself. We can be so hard on ourselves sometimes, but it is important to give yourself a break. You can be your own worst enemy at times. When you believe you have made a mistake, decide what action you can take to make it right in your own eyes. Then, use self-talk to encourage yourself to take that step toward forgiveness.

Say No to Others

Sometimes practising self-love isn’t just about speaking kindly to ourselves when we are feeling certain emotions. It can also be about taking care of ourselves when others are around. Set boundaries. Make time for yourself. It is okay to tell people “no” if you think that you need to. Love yourself enough to make the right decision for you, not for anyone else. Self-love is a continuous action, a continuous process, a continuous choice. You should constantly be investing in yourself by working on doing things that promote self-love.

Accept Help

One way to continuously ensure you are focusing on how to self-love and putting tips like these into practice is to consider seeing a therapist regularly for support. Book an appointment and start your journey to learning how to self-love.

Self-love is vital to your overall well-being. Invest in your self – you matter.

You Are important

Until next month. Stay Healthy, Stay Happy and Start to LOVE YOURSELF that little bit more.

Jon X

Jon Adkin BAHyp Clinical Hypnotherapist and IEMT Practitioner.

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Remember. You’ve Got This

Audio Version of January’s Blog

Hi Happy New Year and welcome to 2022. Have you made any New Years Resolutions? Or will you just continue as you are? Without doubt it’s been a very strange past 2 years and it bought the best and worst out in people. But how have you handled it? Have you made improvements to your life? Have you changed any dally routines to make you day run smoother?

This month That’s what I want to talk about. What we do to help ourselves!  It all starts with you.

What do I mean by that, Well simply put. If you don’t like you or Love you how can you expect others to love or like you? Take a moment and step outside you. If you met you at a party or in a coffee shop would you spend time with yourself? Would you even bother to talk to you?

If you don’t even want to talk to you why would others want to? This is what we need to change. Each morning. You have to love who you see in the mirror. That person in that reflection has been with you every step of the way and needs to be shown some appreciation. So what can you do to help yourself? Well just by reading this you ae telling yourself you are up for change. So let me help.

Let’s start from the beginning. You don’t just happen to stumble upon the best version of yourself. You need to start from the beginning and take a high number of small steps in order to become what you envision. Just show up. Say you want to run a marathon, but have no prior experience. The first step is lacing up you shoes and hitting the pavement. Even if you only make it half a mile on your first training run, you’ll be about 2% closer to your ultimate goal than if you didn’t put in any work at all. Recognize that the best version of yourself should be your vision, not anybody else’s. Don’t waste energy trying to live up to what somebody else wants you to be. Stop looking for a secret trick. There is no miraculous shortcut to the better version of yourself. Are you still with me? Great. Let’s continue. Use Social Media to network. It’s never been easier to get in touch with influential and powerful people. Earlier in my career as a hypnotherapist, I reached out a very well known and well respected hypnotherapist. I asked him for advice about how to build my business, and not only did he reply with some helpful tips, he also connected me and we have become firm friends.  Don’t sweat the details. Just make sure that you’re moving in the right general direction. You probably don’t have the knowledge you need today to know the shortest path to your happiness five years from today. But you probably have some idea about how to move in the right direction. Take those steps.

Time to peel back the covers.

Recognise the opportunity at hand. The Internet has fundamentally changed everything. Previously, knowledge was locked away in the minds of industry experts and in the pages of books that you needed to buy or check out from a library. But now, it’s easier than ever to learn new skills. This is essential to becoming the best version of yourself. Don’t count the hours. They don’t matter. Think about the last time you ran on a treadmill. If you looked down at the timer every few seconds, you probably didn’t enjoy your run. In turn, this made it far more difficult to run far. But what if you took the opposite approach? You plugged in your headphones, lost yourself in the music, and took it one stride at a time….while resisting any temptation to look at the timer at all. If you did this, you probably discovered that you enjoyed the run and made it pretty far. Counting hours just slows you down from reaching your goal.

Accept help from other people. Don’t let your pride get in the way. Most successful people needed help along the way, too.

Some quick and helpful tips to help you become the you you want.

  • Ignore the social media scoreboard. People depict an extremely exaggerated version of life on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and other social platforms. We only share the good things, not the bad. So when you compare yourself to what you see on social media, you’re just hurting yourself.
  • Celebrate the small wins. Appreciating what you’re doing in the present gives you the motivation to keep making strides towards your ultimate goal.
  • Stop pretending to know things you don’t know. You’ll never learn anything if you pretend to already know everything.
  • Embrace failure. You can’t become the best version of yourself by playing it safe. Heck, getting fired could even be the best thing that ever happened to you.
  • Call your family. This is just the decent thing to do. But you can also learn lessons from your family that aren’t available through any Google search and aren’t accessible to pretty much anyone else in the world.
  • Exercise in the morning. Once I started doing this in the morning, I became far more focused and relaxed throughout the day. Science backs that up, too.
  • Create a side project. Doing something productive outside of work that makes you happy helps you become a better version of yourself. So, whatever it is…an app, film, album, whatever….start doing it on your nights and weekends. And who knows? It might just turn into a full-time job that you love.
  • Help other people become the best version of themselves. Pay it forward. Doing so keep you motivated on your own path, and you’ll find that the lasting connections you build from helping others will greatly benefit you moving forward. I do this on TikTok and the lovely comments I get still make me smile and makes me realise I’m making a difference to someone, and it doesn’t matter how small.
  • If you’re not satisfied with the current version of yourself, then the quickest way to solve the problem is to begin working towards the better version today. There is no “right time” to get started.
It Could Be Your Time

It can be tempting to think about the best version of yourself as some intangible point in the future. You know, the one where you are:

  • More successful
  • Doing what you love
  • Existing as an overall happier person

But if all you do is wait for the best version of yourself to happen, you’re forever going to be stuck with the current version. So, how do you launch the best version of yourself? Start making progress today.

Sometimes, you need to make a big change in order to unleash the best version of yourself. If one thought recently entered your mind, then it’s time to do it.

Until next month

Stay safe, Stay healthy

Jon X

Jon Adkin BAHyp Clinical Hypnotherapist and IEMT Practitioner.

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Christmas Cheer or Christmas Grrrrr.

Audio Version Of This Blog.

Welcome to December. Now., this month. Can be really joyous. Or really stressful? It really depends. On your mindset. Perhaps events of the past have ruined the festive season for you. Whatever your feelings are for this time of year. You don’t want to be stressed or miserable unnecessarily. Love it or hate it Christmas will soon be upon us.

If you don’t like Christmas. Have you ever really thought? Why? Perhaps your parents never liked it and you have just followed in that same mindset. Or your memories of Christmases when you were young, were, not so Happy. Or perhaps like me? Other people in the household don’t like. Christmas. And you struggle with their moods.

Growing up as a child I loved Christmases. Family would pop over. Games were played. Drinks would be had. Neighbours would pop in. Even the milkman. Decorated his float. And on Christmas Eve his bottles would rattle as he came down the street. And as a child, that was a magical memory for me. However. As we grow older. Trying to recreate that magic. It’s not always possible. Times change. People change. Families get bigger and they do their own thing. So trying to relive that childhood Christmas becomes impossible. I love the build up to Christmas. I start my Christmas playlist on the 1st of December. To the annoyance of others in my house. I try to get the decorations up as early as possible, in December of course. I try my best to recreate the magic. The fun, the laughter. But it never really works.

If I had my way, the television wouldn’t go on on Christmas Day. The Christmas tunes will be playing loud around the house. Drinks would be flowing. (not for me as I don’t drink, but that doesn’t bother me) The dinner would be cooking. And stupid games would be played. Too much food will be ate, Perhaps too much drink will be drunk. But fun would be had.

But that’s not how it will be. We will have breakfast. We will open the presents. And then the stress starts.

So how do I, not let the stress ruin. My Christmas?

Love it or loathe it, there’s no denying that the ‘season to be jolly’ is, for many, the ‘season to be super stressed’. Christmas can be a magical time, but it can also be the one time of year that takes the biggest toll on our mental health.

Christmas induced pressure can be horrendous. Pressure to have a great time, the pressure to look amazing, the pressure to buy the best presents, the pressure to avoid weight gain, the pressure to see all your family and friends. And the pressure to do it all with a big smile on your face as you go round spreading festive cheer.

Sound achievable? Of course not.

The strain on us to have a fantastic time for just one day in itself sets us up for an almighty fall. All around us are images of people seemingly happy in huge families, cosy couple and big social groups. We compare and we despair!

According to the Stress Management Society, one in 20 people considers Christmas more stressful than a burglary, and over half of Britons will have had an alcoholic drink before lunch on Christmas day to try to cope with the stress.

As a hypnotherapist, the key piece of advice I would give right now is to get to work on changing those patterns that have created Christmas stress in the past, so that you can create a Christmas that will leave you feeling fulfilled, settled, content and ready for 2022.

The key concept is that our thoughts, feelings and behaviour are all interconnected and that by understanding them and increasing awareness of our negative behaviour and emotional patterns, we can alter them and improve our wellbeing. In a nutshell, it’s about changing unhelpful patterns into more helpful patterns.

What is Stress?

Stress is a mixture of pressure and anxiety; it can come from external factors such as work or financial worries or from internal factors such as self-criticism and high expectations. Stress increases levels of cortisol and adrenaline in the body; both of which impact negatively on physical health as well as our mental health.

Tips To Tackle Christmas Stress

Write it out: Putting pen to paper and writing a list of the things you find most unmanageable about Christmas helps you to really hone in on the problem areas. We can’t change things unless we become more aware of them and are willing to acknowledge the issues they are causing. Everyone’s trigger points will be different but awareness is the first point of change. Planning comes next! Write down your goals and plan, in manageable steps, how you will reach them. When we write down our goals we are 10 times more likely to achieve them.

Seeing friends: It might not always feel that way but, by nature, we humans are social beings and feeling connected is a major part of our wellbeing. This means personal contact – actually seeing people – rather than relying on social media to manage our friendships. Feeling connected with people we are close too lowers stress levels and also improves our immunity, so will help you fight the winter bugs too.

Lower expectations: We all need to lower our expectations on having a fantastic time, and ultimately setting ourselves up for major disappointment. This doesn’t just apply to Christmas time; we are guilty of expecting too much year-round, on a multitude of things. If we want to feel a certain way then you have to monitor the ways you don’t want to feel. Having more flexibility in our expectations around how we feel will give us more resilience when things don’t go to plan.

To do lists: My advice would to write your list of things to do, prioritise it, and half it. We are generally very bad at overestimating what we can achieve in the time we have, ultimately creating huge stress for ourselves.

Plan you’re downtime: Whilst many of us are great at scheduling all the things we need to do, not so many of us are good at booking in some downtime. Take time to yourself, or spend days and hours with your family and friends or doing the things you love. Christmas is a holiday time after all.

Shop online: Not to take anything away from local traders but with what’s happening in the world at the moment the best best idea for your own mental health is online shopping. Throngs of crowds, traffic jams, and mile-long queues at the tills are not good for stress levels! Shopping from the comfort of your own home usually means saving time and money, and always means protecting stress levels. Set a date and do it in one go.

So the bottom line. If you had great Christmases as a child, remember them with gratitude, they will stay in your head and heart forever. If you weren’t so lucky, realise you are the adult now and you can make the Christmas what you want. Don’t let your Children or Grandchildren grow up dreading this magical time of year.

PS. Need some Stocking Fillers? Books available by Jon Can I Change? a book to help you handle your anxiety on a daily basis. 100 days in isolation a fun book for both adults and children showing the funnier side of lockdown.

Now Available. A solution to give you that instant Stress relief or boost of confidence, where you need it, when you need it. Update & Reboot. A gift to yourself. Just £50.00 Purchase here.

Have a great one whatever you do. Stay safe, Stay well and enjoy.

I will see you in 2022

Best wishes and Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to you all.

Jon X

Jon Adkin BAHyp Clinical Hypnotherapist and IEMT Practitioner.

Find Jon on Facebook, Instagram, You tube and TikTok.

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