Mental Health is not taboo

Audio Version Of This Months Blog

Mental health isn’t and shouldn’t be a taboo subject. Life can just get to us. We don’t always know why it just happens, but when it does you need to ask for help before it takes root. Ignoring it is not going to help you. It’s not going to go away on its own. It will need some help. You will need some help.

It’s not going to go away on its own

So who do you turn to?

I understand that coping with mental illness is HARD, and not knowing who to talk to can make it feel a hundred times worse. You might be worried about what people will think of you, you might feel ashamed, you might feel that they won’t understand. I do. I get it. I get you.

So is this the new normal? As we adjust, it’s normal that we will all have different reactions. You may be looking forward to life getting back on track you may still feel nervous about the rules being relaxed. You could be feeling uncertain about what will happen over winter, or worried about the new pressures that have come with restrictions easing. Whatever you are feeling is OK. There is no right or wrong way to react. It’s natural that many of us are feeling the effects of a year of social distancing.

This autumn, it’s important to be kind to yourself and take things at your own pace. We’ve all faced challenges over the past year and many of us will need time to readjust. If you’re finding things tough, try to talk about how you are feeling with others. Family, Friends, A Doctor a professional. Remember, You’re not alone.

Tips for taking care of your mental health

You can Do It

Go at your own pace

Take time to plan. As workplaces and business open up again, it’s natural that any changes to our routine may feel overwhelming. Planning ahead of time can help you manage your time and feel more in control. If you’re feeling uncertain about meeting with other people in person, whether for work or socially, try to talk about how you are feeling and what you are comfortable with beforehand.

Set achievable goals. If you’re feeling anxious about doing something, try breaking it down to a list of smaller tasks. For example, if you haven’t been to the shops in a while, you might want to try walking in that part of town before going inside. Focus on what you want to achieve and try not to compare yourself to what you think others are doing.

Try a relaxation exercise. Sometimes something simple like controlled breathing can help us feel calmer. Muscle relaxation exercises can also help reduce feelings of stress or anxiety. If you can, find a quiet space and try out the exercises that suit you.

Find your balance

Pay attention to how you are feeling. A self-help web app can help you track your mood and includes practical tips and techniques to help you look after your emotional health.

Make time for yourself. It could be something creative, playing sports or taking a copy of the paper to a park for half an hour in the sun. Even stepping away and taking a five-minute break over a cup of tea can help you relax and recharge.

Take a break from the news and social media. If you find it hard to stay offline, prioritising other activities can help you switch it off. Try turning off your notifications or leaving your phone in another room for a few hours. If your job involves lots of screen time, taking a break away from your devices after work might help you relax.

Spend time outdoors

Enjoy nature. Whatever way you can, taking some time to enjoy the outdoors can have a positive effect on your mood. Our mental health benefits from getting outside and enjoying nature.

Get active. Exercise can help to reduce feelings of anxiety and other difficult feelings. There are lots of different ways to be active. You could start off with a brisk walk or join a free online exercise class. Setting goals with others is a great way to stay motivated. Try teaming up with friends and family or taking part in an online challenge.

Reach out

Talk about how you’re feeling. Talking can help put things into perspective and help us feel less isolated. It can be hard to reach out but talking to a trusted friend, colleague or family member is something we’d encourage you to try, however you can.

You Are Not Alone

Please remember. You are never alone.

Mental health issues also affect the people close to those who are suffering.

If someone you care about has a mental health issue it can be hard to deal with.

It can be upsetting and difficult to see them struggle, especially if you are a carer or a family member. I know that mental health issues have a wide impact on friends, family members and carers and I am here to support you to live your own life.

Some quick bits of advice I can offer are.

I can provide support service for carers – offering advice and support.

Let the person you care about know you are there for them.

Support them to find suitable services to help them to manage their mental health issues.

Offer practical help such as making a telephone call to a key worker or other person, or by going with the person to their GP or mental health centre.

2 in 3 people report having experienced a mental health problem in their lifetime. Many of us go through tough times and supporting someone you care about can be enough to help them through. Sometimes people need extra support, and this is where People like me and my therapy friends and colleagues can help.

There are many national and local charities which offer various support services, such as:

The Samaritans, MIND.org, National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK. Rethink.org

And many more.

Don’t suffer alone. Ask for help. It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s actually a sign of strength.

Reach out before it takes hold.

Until next month.

Stay safe, Stay well.

Jon

Find Jon on Facebook, Instagram, You tube and TikTok.

Books available by Jon Can I Change? a book to help you handle your anxiety on a daily basis. 100 days in isolation a fun book for both adults and children showing the funnier side of lockdown. Posted by Jon Adkin BAHyp

Why we need to love ourselves.

Audio Version of this months Blog

Have you ever heard the expression, “You can’t help someone else until you help yourself”? The same idea applies to self-love. How can you love someone or someone love you, if you don’t love yourself first?


Loving yourself provides you with self-confidence, self-worth, and in general, you feel more positive. If you can learn to love yourself, you will feel happier and will learn to take better care of yourself. Accepting the pain and allowing yourself to be honest with who you are is a big step to loving yourself.
Why you must love yourself first?


When you love yourself first, you can create real change. You have that new confidence, bravery, and conviction to do it. You stop depending on someone else to give you all the emotional benefits that come with love. As soon as you make that happen, greatness follows suit.

This month on my Facebook page and on my TikToks I will be offering two daily videos to help you self love.

It all starts with you.


You Have To


Loving yourself first is essential if you want to be happy and live your life with no regrets. You may have been holding back because you have been told you aren’t worth loving at some point. Thus, you’ve been bullying yourself about it ever since. But that is the glass ceiling that this generation must break through immediately.

You deserve to be loved. You are a wonderful human. Life on this planet is short; do you really want to waste it with self-loathing? Hate only leads to hate, misery, and war. Do you want to be at war with yourself forever? Or do you want to be at peace and create new and amazing things? You have a whole life waiting for you on the other side of all that.

It Is Your Responsibility


By taking self-love out of your control and leaving it in the hands of others, you can only ever be disappointed. After all, it isn’t someone else’s job to do that. Pressuring other people to do it for you is unfair. You need to love yourself, not your parents, spouse, or kids. It is time to take responsibility for that now.

It Isn’t Selfish


They say in every flight that you have to put your own life mask on before helping another person. It isn’t selfish to do that because you will die before you can help someone who can’t help themselves. It is impractical — not heroic — to make yourself suffer while trying to be there for others. Similarly, you need to love yourself first so that you can help anyone you want. Put yourself first, say no to draining circumstances, and make choices in your best interest.

It Makes It Okay To Be Unloved By Others


When you love yourself, you live on another level, another vibe. Some people won’t like that, and that is okay for you. It may be even good, considering you will see who cares for you, who is happy to see you happy, and who just wants you to be miserable. When you prioritize yourself, you can see who matters and clear out all the toxic people in your life.

You can do this.

You Deserve It

All of your life, it may have been heavily implied that you aren’t supposed to love yourself. You are supposed to help others first and only gain it as a result of your acts of service. As we have all experienced, love isn’t always equal. Still, let us reiterate: you deserve to love yourself. You are a beautiful, caring, selfless human being, so why on earth would you deserve any less?

Why Not?

Are you afraid of being perceived narcissistic and reducing your likeability? That might happen, but wouldn’t it be better if you were around people who loved you for loving yourself? You create your reality, so it is possible. There are no downsides to loving yourself. Even if something seems wrong, your life will be better for it.

You Can Inspire Someone


By taking up the chance to love yourself first, you can inspire other people to make that same change. Most people are just waiting for a leader to step up, take the scary steps, and show that it is safe. This new way of living is okay and acceptable without suffering from a social setback. Come forward and say, “Hey, I love myself! It’s scary, but it’s okay. If I’m honest, it’s nice not to rely on other people to know my self-worth.” Watch how many people will turn around and say, “You inspired me. I started my journey to self-love, and I couldn’t be more excited.” To love yourself, you just need to give yourself permission to try, so set a positive example to someone else and do it now. Who knows, it might change their life.

It Can Only Improve Your Life


The thing about self-love is that it can improve your mental state. You can only feel better, more confident, more secure, and happier when you are in a better space. Once that happens, you can create a better life for others. Your life will be full of laughs. You will try new things because you won’t be afraid to fail and get out there and not care what people think of you. More importantly, you will live your life to the fullest and have the confidence and grit to go after your dreams.


You Can Change the World your World


When you love yourself first, you can create real change. You have that new confidence, bravery, and conviction to do it. You stop depending on someone else to give you all the emotional benefits that come with love. As soon as you make that happen, greatness follows suit.

You Can Love Someone for Real


You can spend your life by giving love away, hoping to gain it in return, but life isn’t a business transaction. Some people just take, and you keep giving without realizing that it chips away at your own self-esteem and self-worth. When you love yourself without expecting anything in return, you can love someone the way they deserve to be loved. After all, you have an endless source of it, and it can never deplete.

You are the solution.

Bottom Line


If you want to find you and reconnect with an unlimited source of love, take a day off to do that. Find out who you are and be compassionate to yourself. Buy something nice, go do something that pleases you. Compliment yourself, and make other hard choices that are in your best interest. That’s the only way to reignite your light and love yourself.

I hope that you take a moment to feel that love inside you after reading this. Love is beautiful, and you deserve to feel it all. It doesn’t make you a wrong person to want that.
So here is your homework.
Start smiling at yourself in the mirror. Appreciate yourself, except your faults and make changes.
We get one shot at life. Make the most of it.

Until next month.
Stay safe and well.
Best wishes 

Thank you to Jade Nyx. For the inspiration for this blog.

Jon

Find Jon on Facebook, Instagram, You tube and TikTok.

Books available by Jon Can I Change? a book to help you handle your anxiety on a daily basis. 100 days in isolation a fun book for both adults and children showing the funnier side of lockdown. Posted by Jon Adkin BAHyp

Why it’s good to inspire people.

Audio Version Of Septembers Blog.


Inspiration awakens us to new possibilities by allowing us to transcend our ordinary experiences and limitations. Inspiration propels a person from apathy to possibility, and transforms the way we perceive our own capabilities.
Honesty builds trust and gets others to believe in your inspiration. The ability to inspire others is an important skill, one that will help you achieve the success you desire. Keep your message authentic and human to amplify your results, inspire others, and excel in your work life.
I have made September my month of inspiration. I have a small but growing following on TikTok. And each month I choose a 30-day challenge. I make 2 short videos a day (Well 3 if you include my bad jokes) and in those two videos this month I want to inspire my followers to live their best life. I get a lot of positive and grateful feedback and that makes me happy. Even if I only make one person’s day better, then I am happy. I do sadly get the trolls as well. The ones who think I’m pushing my thoughts on to them. However they couldn’t be more wrong. I record them to help others not dictate to them.
A lot of people need to be inspired to take that great step they have always wanted to take, and when it comes to inspiration, it can come from anywhere — I mean anywhere.


We live in a world where people believe in faking it until you make it and you might be tempted to portray an image that’s not truly yours and yours. But let me tell you something when you are faking it, you’re an empty barrel — and people will know from the noise you make (usually louder). However, stick to that person you are. The real you and I tell you what; there are many people interested in being you, and you can have those people to inspire.

Love all that you do


Love What You Do


There are no two ways about it; if you are not passionate about what you do, you cannot inspire people. Whatever you do, if have had the opportunity to work with a people and they love your work, whatever it is, it will show, and you’ll see contentment and sometimes a change in their actions. Let me ask you when last have you seen a frustrated individual motivate and inspire people?
With passion for what you do, when you speak, people can see the fire in your eyes, they can tell you are happy doing what you’re doing, and they can see fulfilment in your life — that’s enough to get someone inspired.
Care about Others
You must care about people and show them you really do to inspire them. I am sure there are very successful people around you that love their jobs and speak with enthusiasm in their words, but you still dislike them because they do not care about others, not in their class. You must be down to earth and show them you really care about them. By doing that, they would naturally want to come closer, ask questions, and want to be like you.


Challenge People


If you ask me, I will tell you this is one of the most important steps of inspiring people. Usually, many people have the potentials to be who they want to be and do what they want to do. However, they lack the push factor — be that push factor and see how you’ll be propelling someone for greatness. You have to encourage people to move out of their comfort zone.
Moving out of the comfort zone is something difficult for most people. Ironically, they have to do that for them to be great. Let them know that.
Let People Know About Your Failures
Life is a two-sided coin with one side being success and the other being failure. Usually, people see successful individuals as people that have not experienced failures and downtimes. Contrary to this misconception, every successful individual has had their own share of failure. Yet, only a few share it as some see it as an act of weakness and want to be seen as a genius who does not make mistakes.
I’m happy to let people know I’ve made mistakes. Plenty of mistakes. let them know that you were once like them and that their condition is perfectly normal. However, make sure to do this in moderation else, some of them will remain in their comfort zone and think their condition is normal, not knowing that their own case is different.
Do Not Judge People
Unless you’re a Judge in the court, avoid judging people under you. Be an umbrella for them, and instead of complicating issues for them by judging them, provide an avenue for them to heal faster. Make them feel good about themselves even though you feel their situation is critical. This is because if they are not happy with themselves, you cannot inspire them. However, I am not asking you to lie to them — no, that’s not what I am saying. What I am saying is that don’t make their condition worse. No doubt, there’s joy in giving people the hope that they too can become someone like you. However, it’s not as easy as it seems.
You know what fires me up and keeps me going? Hearing the words “you inspire me.”


Speak Up

All the feedback I get from people about my work and its impact on their life. I appreciate people who inspire me. Every creative person needs feedback, whether it’s good or bad, there is this little needy “me” that wants attention and recognition. In truth we all want it.
Next time you are touched by someone’s story, tweet, blog post, comment, photo, let them know how it made you feel, how it shaped your thinking, what thoughts it provoked, what it allowed you to experience, discover, understand. It takes the time to formulate these responses but it genuinely touches the creator. Telling someone they inspire you powers up further creations and contributes to a better world.
A Small Thank You Goes A Long Way


A Simple Thank You


Simply leave a comment, write an email and thank for the work they do, let them know your thoughts and how much you appreciate their efforts. We take all of the things for granted, people who write books, people who compose music, people who share their research and findings, people who share photos from their life, people who stand up for themselves and share their opinions.


Pay It Forward


For the extra mile, share the work that inspired you with your friends, write them a personal message, tell them how the piece affected you and inspire them, keep the inspiration chain alive and you will start noticing beautiful things happening. Most of the creators want to touch at least one soul, then it can be called a success. The next time someone inspires you, credit and thank them, let them know it was worth it.
Until Next Month.

I wish you every happiness.

Jon

Find Jon on Facebook, Instagram, You tube and TikTok.

Books available by Jon Can I Change? a book to help you handle your anxiety on a daily basis. 100 days in isolation a fun book for both adults and children showing the funnier side of lockdown.Posted byJon Adkin BAHyp

It’s that time of year again.

Audio Version of this months blog.

Have you noticed that your child or children have gone a bit quiet recently? Don’t blame it on the lousy weather, or their age. Look at the date. In a few short weeks they will be returning to school. Some will be changing schools some will just be moving up. However whatever they face, it can be very scary for them.

Do you remember how you felt all those years ago? Perhaps there was a school bully who has been out of your mind during the Summer break. or perhaps just the thought of a BIG new school with so many new faces is a scary thought. Whatever the reason, this can be a very anxious time for our children.

Remove that anxiety from returning to school

Don’t ignore their silence, Speak to them, ask them questions. Show them that you care and want to help. Many children are of a mindset that asking for help is a weakness. They couldn’t be more wrong. Asking for help takes such strength.

What can you as a parent or a guardian do to help? First thing is to notice any changes in their body language, in their manner. They may become more withdrawn, or even almost become invisible. Give them words of encouragement.

Words of encouragement when your child is struggling

  • All you can do is try your best.
  • I am so glad you asked for help when you needed it.
  • Trust your instincts.
  • I believe in you.
  • Nobody is perfect, and that is ok.
  • You can learn from your mistakes.
  • Your perseverance will help you succeed.
  • Believe in yourself, you can do it.

They say education is the key for success. Students therefore need to have a purpose to succeed in their studies. There is always a challenge to produce brilliant results. Words of encouragement are important to remind students that hard work never goes unrewarded. Parents, teachers and fellow students can spread this Words of Encouragement to give students hope for better days. It is important to note that students have different abilities. Producing good results is a teamwork effort. Teachers have to take the responsibility of encouraging weak students to continue working hard. Encouragement gives hope, hence a positive attitude to success.

What phrases do you say each day to your kids? Which ones do you want them to remember?

In the years since my parents passed, I am still inspired to notice the good things in life when I remember the way they would pause at those good moments and say, “This, now, this is good.” To this day I can hear my mother encouraging me when I try new things. Her voice of confidence from my childhood continues to give me confidence now.

Many years after my dad died, I can still hear him, when I get too serious saying, “Lighten up,” In moments of complete self-doubt and embarrassment, I still bolster myself by thinking of him singing, smiling and being there.

All of these words of encouragement from my parents and grandparents have stayed with me. Certainly, words can become meaningless when they aren’t followed with action, but nonetheless, words have great power. You can choose to add more positive ones to your days.

Below is a list of encouraging phrases to say to children. Choose which work for you. What can you see or hear yourself saying. It has to come across genuine and not just something you read once on a sign on a random wall.

  1. You are loved
  2. You make me smile
  3. I think about you when we’re apart
  4. My world is better with you in it
  5. I will do my best to keep you safe
  6. Sometimes I will say no
  7. I have faith in you
  8. I know you can handle it
  9. You are creative
  10. Trust your instincts
  11. Your ideas are worthwhile
  12. You are capable
  13. You are deserving
  14. You are strong
  15. You can say no
  16. Your choices matter
  17. You make a difference
  18. Your words are powerful
  19. Your actions are powerful
  20. Your emotions may be powerful
  21. And you can still choose your actions
  22. You are more than your emotions
  23. You are a good friend
  24. You are kind
  25. You don’t have to like what someone is saying in order to treat them with respect
  26. Someone else’s poor behavior is not an excuse for your own
  27. You are imperfect
  28. So am I
  29. You can change your mind
  30. You can learn from your mistakes
  31. You can ask for help
  32. You are learning
  33. You are growing
  34. Growing is hard work
  35. I believe you
  36. I believe in you
  37. You are valuable
  38. You are interesting
  39. You are beautiful
  40. When you make a mistake, you are still beautiful
  41. Your body is your own
  42. You have say over your body
  43. You are important
  44. Your ideas matter
  45. You are able to do work that matters
  46. I see you working and learning every day
  47. You make a difference in my life
  48. I am curious what you think
  49. How did you do that?
  50. Your ideas are interesting
  51. You’ve made me think of things in a completely new way
  52. I’m excited to see what you do
  53. Thanks for helping me
  54. Thank you for contributing to our family
  55. I enjoy your company
  56. It’s fun to do things with you
  57. I’m glad you’re here
  58. I’m happy to talk with you
  59. I’m ready to listen
  60. I’m listening
  61. I’m proud of you
  62. I’m grateful you’re in my life
  63. You make me smile
  64. I love you

I didn’t do this nearly enough with my own children and for that I feel bad, but if I can help others now and take away the anxiety, the fear, the desire to hurt themselves. Then it will be worth it.

Moving Up Moving On From Jon Adkin

I also run sessions for children at this time of year. Moving Up Moving On is in its 4th year now and I work with the children and sometimes the parents to ease that transition. If you would like to know more please drop me an email or a message and I would be happy to tell you more.

Until next month.

I wish you every happiness.

Jon

Find Jon on Facebook, Instagram, You tube and TikTok.

Books available by Jon Can I Change? a book to help you handle your anxiety on a daily basis. 100 days in isolation a fun book for both adults and children showing the funnier side of lockdown.

Do you have a negative memory that dictates your life?

Would you like to listen instead of reading? No problem.

Hi, welcome to July’s blog. this month I want to talk about releasing negative memories. The reason I want to talk to you about this is because, Yes, here comes the plug…

NMR from Jon

This month I have launched NMR Negative Memory Release. A protocol that combines Hypnotherapy, IEMT and NLP all of which I am a practitioner in. For a while now I have been looking for a niche. Something that will make me the go to guy for. So, I have used the time throughout the pandemic to look over all my case notes and see where the most impact was made. I contacted former clients to see how they were doing and to see if after the sessions, the suggestions were still working for them. I will be honest their were a couple of smokers that fell off the wagon due to being stuck at home with nothing to do. Well, that was their excuse, but me being me I’ve invited them back. However for my niche I wanted to put something together that used all the skills that I have learnt and offer a quick yet permanent way of helping clients. So, after months of trials, a bit of tweaking and perfecting, I felt ready to launch NMR.


So what is NMR?

Well In a nutshell. Here is the less sciency version. When we think of an event or a happening in our lives, our mind in a millisecond grabs all the parts of that memory, The sounds, the colours, the textures, the smells and forms a picture puzzle. When it offers you that picture an emotion forms from that memory. Now. without the full picture the emotion won’t form. The mind has distanced itself from the memory. It’s now nothing more than like seeing it as an old photograph. something that happened, but not to you. By using a combination of IEMT (IEMT Integrated Eye Movement Therapy) Hypnotherapy, and NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) I can break up that picture by removing elements of the puzzle.
If you want a more in depth description please visit my NMR website by clicking here.

Why would you need Negative Memory Release?


Throughout our lives we accumulate memories we’d rather forget. For people who’ve experienced a serious trauma, such as combat experience, domestic violence, or childhood abuse, these memories can be more than unwelcome — they can be debilitating. Fears and phobias often start from old memories. Sometimes you don’t even know that you are holding on to these memories and the attached emotions. Grief, Hate, even pain. You’re holding on to them long after they are any use to you.

Identify your triggers


Memories are cue-dependent, which means they require a trigger. Your bad memory isn’t constantly in your head; something in your present environment reminds you of your bad experience and triggers the recall process.
Identifying your most common triggers can help you take control of them. When you consciously recognize a trigger, you can practice suppressing the negative association. The more often you suppress this association, the easier it will become, thereby breaking the link between the trigger and the negative memory.
Some memories have only a few triggers, like particular smells or images, whereas others have so many that they are hard to avoid. For example, someone with a combat-related trauma might be triggered by loud noises, the smell of smoke, closed doors, particular songs, items on the side of the road, and so on.
If you have a repressed childhood memory, you may find yourself feeling triggered or having strong emotional reactions to people who remind you of previous negative experiences.
Significant events in life tend to linger in your memory. Some might spark happiness when you recall them. Others might involve less pleasant emotions.
You might make a conscious effort to avoid thinking about these memories. Repressed memories, on the other hand, are those you unconsciously forget. These memories generally involve some kind of trauma or a deeply distressing event. When your brain registers something too distressing, “it drops the memory into a ‘nonconscious’ zone, a realm of the mind you don’t think about.”
Scientists are just beginning to understand the complex process of memory. But there’s still a lot they don’t understand, including why some people develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and others do not.


The bottom line


Memories of pain and trauma are difficult to forget, but there are ways to manage them. Although research is progressing quickly, there are no drugs available yet that can erase particular memories. With NMR however, you can find a way to prevent bad memories from continuously popping into your head. You can also work to remove the emotional element of those memories, making them much easier to tolerate.
NMR can help you achieve this. And the best news. It can usually do it in just two sessions. (3 or 4 if really deep rooted) I know that’s a bold claim but it’s true. I have the clients to prove it.
During my trials I worked with Police, Military, NHS front line workers and of course Mums and Dads from all walks of life. Together we broke up the puzzle and without the full picture the emotion can’t return.
This is my niche. I will of course still offer hypnotherapy as a stand alone solution but as I move forward NMR for me is my go to session that will help many many people overcome their issues.
Please feel free to contact me if you would like to know more.
I wish you all the very best for July and I will see you next month.

Best Wishes

Jon

Jon Adkin BAHyp Negative Memory Specialist is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP and IEMT Practitioner.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebookInstagram. and now TikTok.