What do we want. Confidence. When do we want it? NOW!

We all need confidence and self-belief. If we don’t believe in ourselves how do we expect others to believe in us. When I speak of confidence, I am not talking about blind arrogance. Those that are overly confident fall into yet another category. There is a fine line between those two.

However, I am referring to the self-confidence needed to believe in one’s own skills, goals, and ability to succeed. When you believe in yourself you are more likely to take action. To stand up and seize the moment. And to persevere long after those who doubt themselves.

Here are 10 Reasons That Self-Confidence Leads to Success:

  • The Drive to Start Things – Confident people start things. They are not shy about striking out on a new idea even when those around them are still pondering it.
  • The Ability to Stand Up for Oneself – Confidence allows you to stand up for yourself in a fair and consistent manner. Otherwise, you may find yourself unheard or unfairly treated.
  • The Ability to Say No – Confident people have the ability to say “No” where appropriate. They do not take on unnecessary or inappropriate work or obligations.
  • The Ability to Say Yes – And at the same time, confident individuals say “Yes” to opportunity. They do not miss new options because they are shy. I have seen individuals’ pass up opportunities (even promotions) because they didn’t think they were “worthy.”
  • Confidence Overcomes Fear – Lack of confidence can lead to paralysis from fear. Fear of failure. Fear of what others think. Fear of the unknown. To succeed, you need the confidence to face and overcome your fears.
  • Believe In Themselves – Self-confidence means believing in yourself. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” He was right.
  • Set the Bar High Enough – Confident individuals set the bar high and aim high. Lack of confidence leads to weak goals, setting the bar too low, and mediocre results.
  • Stretch Your Limits – Confidence lets you know your limits and test them. By stretching your limits you increase them. You are stronger than you think.
  • Confidence Asks Questions – Confidence allows you to ask questions, even when others are silent. Confidence even lets you “ask for the job.”
  • Believe In Winning – Confident people believe in success. And more importantly, they believe in their ability to succeed.

Why Confidence Matters

Confidence helps us feel ready for life’s experiences. When we’re confident, we’re more likely to move forward with people and opportunities — not back away from them. And if things don’t work out at first, confidence helps us try again. It’s the opposite when confidence is low.

We have it all inside of us. It just gets buried. Or covered up, so we have to unearth it. Or peel back those layers. Just like an onion.

Confidence is a belief in the ability of yourself in certain aspects of life. It can involve either confidence in your appearance, talents, or achievements. Self-confidence is the belief in “self” that transcends all that you do and shows others that you know you can accomplish whatever the task is at hand.

In this blog, I will look at some of the different aspects of self-confidence and focus on why we need the confidence to be successful in life.

Why Do We Need Confidence?

Having confidence and avoiding self-sabotage is essential for several reasons. One reason is that it convinces others that we know what we are doing. People tend to trust people that they think exude confidence in themselves more than people who lack this sense of confidence. By illustrating to others that you can do the job or satisfy their request, you will be able to be more successful with your goals and business interests.

When it comes to social situations, self-confidence draws more people to you by promoting a sense of self-worth. People tend to be attracted to people who have confidence in themselves and studies prove that it even makes them seem more attractive.

Also, having self-confidence gives your mind positive self-talk about what you can do, as well. By practicing confidence on a regular basis, you will start to believe it is right and you will react with a more positive attitude to everything you do. This situation can lead to a stronger sense of achievement, even at times when you are not achieving as highly as you would like to do.

Believe in yourself.

Why Self-Belief Is More Important Than You Think

Self-Belief is linked to almost every element involved in a happy life. Self-Belief is linked to almost every element involved in a happy and fulfilling life. I highlight five key rewards of self-Belief below. Understanding these benefits is an important first step toward living your best life with confidence.

Less Fear and Anxiety

The more confident you become, the more you’ll be able to calm the voice inside you that says, “I can’t do it.” You’ll be able to unhook from your thoughts and take action in line with your values. If you’ve suffered from low self-confidence, you’re probably familiar with rumination, or the tendency to mull over worries and perceived mistakes, replaying them ad nauseam. Excessive rumination is linked to both anxiety and depression, and it can make us withdraw from the world. But by filling up your tank with confidence, you’ll be able to break the cycle of over-thinking and quiet your inner critic.

Greater Motivation 

Building confidence means taking small steps that leave a lasting sense of accomplishment. If you’ve ever learned a language, mastered a skill, reached a fitness goal, or otherwise overcome setbacks to get to where you wanted to be, you’re well on your way.

You might be thinking, “Well, sure, I was proud of my ‘A’ in Maths back in high school, but what does that have to do with anything now?” If you think back to a key accomplishment in your life, you’ll likely find that it took a lot of perseverance. If you could triumph through adversity then, you can do it in other areas of your life where you feel self-doubt.

As your confidence grows, you’ll find yourself more driven to stretch your abilities. “What-if” thoughts will still arise: “What if I fail?” “What if I embarrass myself?” But with self-assurance, those thoughts will no longer be paralyzing. Instead, you’ll be able to grin and act anyway, feeling energized by your progress in pursuing goals that mean something to you.

Yes you can

More Resilience

Confidence gives you the skills and coping methods to handle setbacks and failure. Self-Belief doesn’t mean you won’t sometimes fail. But you’ll know you can handle challenges and not be crippled by them. Even when things don’t turn out anywhere close to what you planned, you’ll be able to avoid beating yourself up. As you keep pushing yourself to try new things, you’ll start to truly understand how failure and mistakes lead to growth. An acceptance that failure is part of life will start to take root. Paradoxically, by being more willing to fail, you’ll actually succeed more — because you’re not waiting for everything to be 100 percent perfect before you act. Taking more shots will mean making more of them.

Improved Relationships

It might seem counterintuitive, but when you have more self-confidence and self-worth, you’re less focused on yourself. We’ve all been guilty of walking into a room and thinking, “They’re all looking at me. They all think I look dumpy and that every word I say is stupid.” The truth is, people are wrapped up in their own thoughts and worries. When you get out of your own head, you’ll be able to genuinely engage with others. You’ll enjoy your interactions more because you won’t be so worried about the kind of impression you’re making, and you won’t be comparing yourself to others. Your relaxed state will put others at ease as well, helping you forge deeper connections.

Self-belief can also breed deeper empathy. When you’re fully present, you’re more likely to notice that your date seems to be a little down, or that a friend in the corner looks like she needs a shoulder to cry on. When you’re not preoccupied with your own self-doubt, you can be the person who reaches out to help others.

Stronger Sense of Your Authentic Self

Finally, confidence roots you in who you really are. You’ll be able to accept your weaknesses, knowing they don’t change your self-worth. You’ll also be able to celebrate your strengths and use them more fully.

Your actions will be in line with your principles, giving you a greater sense of purpose. You’ll know who you are and what you stand for. You’ll have the skills to show up, stand up, and speak up. In other words, you’ll be able to let your best self shine through.

A Few Action Steps

Write down a favourite confidence quote and put it somewhere you’ll see it often. I do this all the time.

Do you have a photograph of a time you felt confident and successful? It could be a graduation photo, a picture of you as a kid after you learned to ride a bike or anything else that resonates with you. Hang it on your fridge or bathroom mirror, and reflect on all the steps it took to get to that point.

If you still need help. I offer packages for both men and women to bring out that confidence. Visit. www.jonadkin.com/packages to find out more.

Want to know more? Contact me or a hypnotherapist near you. Don’t let a fear or phobia control your life.

Until next time.
Stay safe. Stay happy.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

IEMT What is it? What could it do for you?


Over this Covid period I wanted to use this time to expand my knowledge and learn something new that would help even more of my clients. I didn’t want to learn new hypnotherapy techniques as I believe that you should hone in on the skills that you have and expand on those and I’m getting some fantastic results with my clients and that makes me happy. So I looked for something that would compliment my hypnotherapy practice but offer something that was non hypnotic. I did lots of research and joined various groups to get an insight as to what was available.
Believe me there are lots. Now I’m not going to rubbish any of them or the courses that are available, as some were very credible but boy there are loads of scammers out there. If you are thinking of expanding your knowledge please be careful with who you sign up for. Don’t be so quick to throw your money away.
Anyway I digress. After months of research I decided that IEMT was a great fit for my practise. There are some great trainers out there and I decided to work with Matt Kendall at the IEMT Academy. I took the IEMT Practitioners course, and I am so glad I did.


So what is IEMT? Well the academy’s tag line is ‘Creating change in the blink of an eye’ and that sums it up perfectly. Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT) is a developing area rapid change work that explores the area of undesired emotions and our ways of being. The process explores the question, “How did we learn to feel the way that we do?” and opens up the possibility of creating the appropriate change in our emotional lives. By teaching resources and skills inside the problem state, IEMT appears to bring the client more into the present moment and enables them to better stay out of past negative experiences.

Practitioners consistently report that IEMT has created change in their clients where no other approach has worked previously. IEMT is an excellent tool for dealing with a wide range of emotional issues. It is particularly effective in dealing with:
• Stress and Anxiety
• PTSD and Flashbacks
• Insomnia
• Feelings of guilt, regret and remorse
• Fears and phobias Dealing with overwhelm
• Removing negative memories and traumatic experiences
• Panic attacks
• Overcoming long term identity issues such as divorce

IEMT now available from Jon Adkin Hypnotherapist.

Now you may have heard or even had EMDR. So what’s the differences Between EMDR and IEMT Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT). Both the EMDR and IETM models use eye movements but in practice that is where the similarity ends. You may be told that EMDR and IEMT are exactly the same in the same way that Freud’s ‘Psychoanalysis’ and Bandler’s ‘NLP’ are exactly the same because they both use words. EMDR is a model used mainly by licenced medical professionals such as psychologists and psychiatrists. IEMT can be used by anyone trained in the model.

Where EMDR is primarily used to treat “trauma”, something it is very effective at doing. However IEMT is much more about the Patterns of Chronicity. These are 5 primary patterns that appear common to many chronic patients with, or without a history of trauma.
To summarise the differences:
Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT)
• Is a model built around addressing and resolving The 5 Patterns of Chronicity
• Has applications in resolving PTSD
• Traumatic imagery is largely irrelevant to the process
• Addresses imprints of emotion for creating kinaesthetic change
• Addresses imprints of identity for creating change in self concept
• Uses eye movement as the dominant mechanism for change
• By design readily creates introspection and an alpha state with free floating imagery
• Prior qualification is not necessary for training in IEMT
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)
• Is a model built around resolving trauma
• Is an application for resolving PTSD
• Traumatic imagery is central to the work and the client is encouraged to “observe” trauma
• Uses eye movement as well as tapping and alternating sounds
• Utilises affirmations and positive belief statements

Want to know if IEMT can help you?

So I’ve done my training, I’ve done my case studies (with fantastic results, Their words not mine) and now I’m ready to offer it to clients. Working with me and IEMT is just two sessions. No fluff, no reliving the original issue. And best of all during this Covid period it can be done online via Zoom or face to face in my practice.
I will also offer an IEMT/Hypnotherapy combination. This will be offered to clients who feel they need the hypnotherapy change alongside the IEMT release.
The bottom line is that I will always offer what is the best solution for my clients to be able to live and enjoy their life.

Until next week, or possibly the week after 

Have a great week or two.

Take care and stay safe.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Here we go again.

So Boris has imposed new guidelines, Do you think it’s enough? As a therapist the uncertainty is certainly playing havoc with people’s emotions. The only good thing to come out of all this is that online Zoom sessions are proving to be as effective as one to one sessions. I will admit in the beginning I wasn’t as keen to do online sessions, I offered them but not with the same confidence as I have with One to One sessions. However, once I realised that this thing was here to stay for a lot longer. I knew I had to get onboard.

Getting ready for online.

I updated my software, I updated my webcam. and then most importantly I updated my skills. I contacted former clients, first of all to ask if they wanted to be my guinea pigs. and then I got to work with them. Without exception all of them went into trance and all of them felt a shift. That was a great start. Now those people had done trance work before with me and knew how I worked, so now I had to do some work with people who had never seen me before. I offered my online services, but at a reduced rate so that I could try my online techniques. I received the enquires and they were happy to give it a go.

Now one funny story that did happen was with my second client. She was siting at her desk in a very nice leather chair. and I started to notice as she became more and more relaxed he started to slide down the chair a little. Now her camera was set quite high so I did most of the trance session talking to her forehead. Another session there were some very weird noises in the background that become more apparent as the session went on. Turns out my guinea pig had his own guinea pigs but in his bedroom. but I learnt from both those sessions and it was a huge learning curve.

I set myself a target of 6 clients to work online with and as long as they were happy and experienced the required changes. I was happy to proceed. I ended up working with 8 clients purely because 2 people contacted me after the time frame that I had advertised and both cases sounded interesting.

All the clients were very happy with the results and I felt confident enough to offer online to any future clients.

A new era was about to start.

A new way of Working.

So is online as good as one to one? Easy answer YES! I have done a blog on this before but there are advantages for clients to have online sessions. Lets highlight some of them.

  • You stay in the comfort of your own home. Perhaps in your most comfortable chair or on your bed.
  • No travelling. It’s not always convenient for people to get to me, what with children or work commitments.
  • You may relax more being in your own surroundings.
  • For those people who feel they may not be in control. (you always are by the way.) being in your own home, may settle you more.
  • For me it also means I can extend my reach to include people that are not local.
  • If you are unable to get to me or for any reason feel uncomfortable in a one to one sessions. Then online sessions using Skype or Zoom may just be the answer you are looking for.
I’m Zooming.

By offering Online I can help people who don’t live close by or perhaps don’t like to travel, and in this period of uncertainty what with Covid, the less travel we do the better. If you want to know more email me at jadkin.bahyp@gmail.com or message me from my Facebook page at FB.me/adkin23

Zoom is a free download available from here.

Watch my YouTube video here. Don’t forget to subscribe.

And that’s it.

As long as your WIFI is not prone to dropping out then you will be good to go. Even if for any reason we lose connection, you will not be left in trance I promise you. Just find somewhere you can relax for an hour. Ideally with headphone and peace and quiet.

We will have a phone consultation first, make a date and time that suits you for the session. even if it’s late at night, once the kids are bed, that’s not a problem. The fee can be paid by BACs before the session. Once all that is in place, all you have to do is relax and let change happen.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Until next week, or possibly the week after 

Have a great week or two.

Take care and stay safe.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Do you listen to yourself?

Hi, Welcome to this weeks blog.

Let me ask you a question. Do you talk to yourself? Do you listen to yourself? For instance how many times have you perhaps dropped something and it broke or spilt everywhere, and you called yourself a F#$k!ng idiot. Or you can’t find your keys or phone after searching only to find them in the first place that you looked, so you call yourself stupid. We have all done it.

Well each time we put ourselves down our subconscious is listening and that’s what it thinks you want. so if it hears you calling yourself an idiot it will continue to help you do idiotic things. It has no logic but it has your best intentions at heart.

Lets take an average day. Lets say you get out of bed and you stub your toe on the bed leg or you stand on a charger cable. BANG! straight away you are cursing and your mood changes. So you go downstairs and your snappy with whoever else lives in the house. SO they then become defensive and suddenly everyone is in a bad mood, just because you stubbed your toe.

You are on the way to work, and it doesn’t matter if you are driving or getting a bus or train the same chain reaction has an effect on others. Let’s say you are in the car. Your running a bit late. The first set of lights you come to are RED. GRRRRR. your mood starts to change. It seems to take for ever to change, but eventually you move on only to be cut up my a cyclist. Your mood worsens. You start cursing them. They can’t hear you so they are unaffected. The only person it’s affecting is you. and so the day turn down begins.

You eventually arrive at work. because of all the red lights your parking space is taken. Actually it isn’t your parking space. you have just got into a habit of parking in the same place each day. However today you can’t, and that annoys you.

So when you actually get into the building you are in a foul mood. but hang on. Who are you angry at? Are you seeing the pattern of behaviour here. Can you see yourself in any of what Iv’e just described.

So because you’ve arrived in a bad mood all your colleagues are avoiding you, so you start over thinking the situation. You think they must dislike you, or they know something that perhaps you don’t. Suddenly your mood becomes even worse as you have now convinced yourself that everyone dislikes you and they are holding something back, which you need to know. You react, they react now the whole place is in a bad mood. Work is affected, sales are affected, friendships are affected.

All because you stubbed you toe this morning…

Let’s change the day

Life is like a mirror. it reflects our thoughts, our ways, our responses. Everyone in that work place was reflecting just one persons mood, their anger, their behaviour.

It all starts with you..

It doesn’t have to be like that. You have to learn how to flip those thoughts and react positively.

Let’s do that day again but with a positive slant.

Lets take an average day. You start the morning with a positive message on your smart speaker or phone. BANG! straight away you are smiling. So you go downstairs and you are happy and positive with whoever else lives in the house. SO they then become so much happier, and suddenly everyone is in a good mood, just because you listened to a positive sound file.

You are on the way to work, and it doesn’t matter if you are driving or getting a bus or train the same chain reaction has an effect on others. Let’s say you are in the car. Your running a bit late. The first set of lights you come to are RED. No problem, you put a motivational sound file on the car radio. your mood starts to change, you are suddenly feeling motivated. Eventually you move on only to be cut up my a cyclist. You admire his bike, no anger felt. You think to yourself that perhaps you could get a bike, it may be quicker and certainly healthier. You will good and positive. and so a good day begins.

You eventually arrive at work. because of all the red lights your parking space is taken. Actually it isn’t your parking space. you have just got into a habit of parking in the same place each day. However today you can’t, No worries. I can park around the corner. I could do with the extra exercise.

So when you actually get into the building you are in a great mood. Are you seeing the pattern of behaviour here. Can you see yourself in any of what Iv’e just described.

So because you’ve arrived in a great mood all your colleagues are looking up and smiling, The mood in the work place is straight away lifted. That day your company recorded its most productive day ever.

All because you started your day with a positive.

A solution

So why have I played out this scenario? well I have to be honest I have been working on something to help you through these strange times, where Covid seems to be affecting people in many different ways.

I’ve called it Update & Reboot, and what it is is a library of Non Hypnotic sound files that can help you feel better about yourself. Using a combination of NLP and the Law of Attraction. I’ve recorded a series of sound files covering many issues such as confidence, self-worth, sleep, finances, relationships and so many more. Visit www.jonadkin.uk for more information.

This library is going to be added to on a continuous basis and once you subscribe, with just a single payment of £49.99 you will have lifetime access to all the sound files.

These recordings are non hypnotic so don’t have to be listened to through headphones, so you can listen to them whilst getting ready in the morning, or whilst driving, or on the bus to work. They are accessible at any time. You work them into your schedule to suit you best.

I have been using these sound files since I started my business and I am sure that is why I have the attitude that I now have and have not panicked over the lockdown period. My mind was in a better place. Let’s help yours get to where you want it to be.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

What’s the new normal?

Hi Welcome to my weekly blog.

This week I re opened my doors for one to one clients. As lock down eases here in the UK we need to get back to normal, but what is normal? are we ready for the new normal? Along with many things at the moment I don’t think anyone knows what the new normal is going to be. However what if we could make our own new normal. There is no reason why we can’t do that.

Make two lists and compare.

Think of your life before lockdown. What would you change given the Chance? in fact let’s have some fun, get a pen and some paper put a line down the middle of the paper, and put two headings. One heading saying before lockdown, the other heading saying after lockdown.
Now make a list of things that you used to do before lockdown that you did every day , things like drive the kids to school, meet friends for coffee, go to the gym, make dinner in the evening, Watch TV, etc etc. So, you’re making a list of the things that you used to do. Now make a list of what you plan to do after lockdown. Perhaps walk the children to school, meet your friends in a park, plan a healthy meal, and prepare it with the children, go out for an evening walk, spend more time interacting with the family etc, etc.
Do you see a difference in your two lists? are there things that you are now doing that you would like to continue to do after lockdown? Are you enjoying spending more time playing with the children or talking to your partner? Have you started to enjoy walking again cause you got out to do your daily exercise? We can get a lot of positives out of this strange situation, and as individuals if we each bring out the good perhaps our new normal will be so much better.

Did you discover a new hobby?


If you’ve enjoyed playing with the children being creative, being silly, being parents. There is no reason why this must stop. Have the children enjoyed having their parents around more? Are they spending less time on the computer or their tablets or phones? They are all positives.
have you found a new hobby? perhaps you’ve been a bit more adventurous with your cooking, or found a new love for doing puzzles, or you have discovered reading again. again, all these are positives. Positives that you can continue well after lockdown is over.
Now once you’ve made those two lists, compare them and see what good things you can bring out of this lockdown with you. Yes, You may have to make adjustments in your lifestyle, once the children go back to school and you go back to work but changes can be made. Just because things get back to normal doesn’t mean they have to be the same as they always were.
Think of the money you will save by not meeting friends for coffee each day, but by making your own and going for a walk around the park chatting. Think how much fitter the children and you will be if you can walk to school (I know not always possible) and the added bonus of that is that you don’t feel the frustration and anxiety of driving on the school run, so your day starts so much better. How many of you drive to the gym (to get fit) whereas actually, you could have walked or jogged there? It is all the little changes that you can make that could make your new normal so much better for everyone.

It’s ok not to be ok.

Now on the flip side, there will be a lot of people that entered lockdown in a happy or happyish relationship, but because of the isolation, tension and frustration have built up and tempers have flared. If that is you Don’t panic. I want you to get a pen and paper and again put a line down the middle, but this time Your headings will be How it was. And How it is. And again make 2 lists. However, this time it will show you what you had, and it will be up to you to get it back.

If you were happy going into lockdown, then you can get that happiness back. Not everyone wants to be around their partner or their kids 24/7 Not everyone has the patience to keep the kids entertained, and that is ok. As long as all parties were happy and safe and well.
You must do what works for you. This lockdown has bought out the best and the worst in people. What all of us need to do now is say we survived that and look forward now and leave the worse parts behind. As I said in one of my Facebook posts, We may not all be in the same boat, but we are all in the same storm.

Until next week

Stay safe, Stay healthy and look after yourself.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.