Don’t let your thoughts ruin your Christmas.

Hi. Welcome back to my last post of 2019. What a year it’s been. Ups and downs and a few surprises thrown in. However with all that I survived mine and you survived yours if you are reading this. so well done. The good bits hold in your heart the bad bits let them go. if you made mistakes, learn from them. if they weren’t your problem then don’t worry about it and just move on.

For my last blog I want to conclude my posts on  self confidence.

I am a great believer in positive thinking and self belief and daily affirmations have helped me so much. Remember what we say to ourselves we believe, our mind believes so think positive and you will stay positive.

Here are some quotes and affirmations that I would like to share with you for Christmas.

Self-Confidence Quotes

One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.

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Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment.

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Don’t let others put thoughts into your mind that takes away your self-confidence.
To excel at the highest level – or any level,

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you need to believe in yourself,

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Always be yourself and have faith in yourself.

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Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

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Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do and, at some point, you will.

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Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.

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Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

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As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

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Confidence is when you believe in yourself and your abilities, arrogance is when you think you are better than others and act accordingly.

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The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence .

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Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?

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To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.

Daily Affirmations

I believe in me.

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I’m getting stronger every day.

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I can do this.

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I am who I want to be

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I know my worth

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I’ve decided I’m good enough.

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I have the strength to change my story.

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I deserve to be happy and loved.

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I accept myself unconditionally.

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I love myself, and I accept myself as I am.

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I am confident.

When you get up in the morning choose an affirmation and smile at yourself in the mirror and say it to yourself. It’s a simple and powerful way to start your day.

Merry Christmas and I sincerely wish you all the very best for 2020.

See you in January. Have a good one.

Jon XX

These last few posts have been taken from my book ‘Can I Change?‘ Available from Amazon .It makes an ideal stocking filler.

 

Good Afternoon…Or is it?

Hi

Well I have looked at morning anxiety, so let’s look at afternoon and evening  anxiety this week.

Anxiety is the sense of uneasiness, worry, and apprehension that most people are accustomed to experiencing every so often. For people with an anxiety disorder, these have become a way of life that need to be carefully managed in order to function and live a fulfilling life.
Whether or not you have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, such as panic disorder, you may find it difficult to control your anxiety or nervousness. Many people experience morning anxiety, feeling unnerved about the day ahead. Others struggle with anxiety throughout the day, feeling perturbed most of the day through. While many people will find that their evenings are filled with anxiety-related worry and tension.
Anxiety that strikes in the afternoon and evening can be incredibly bothersome as it may take away from your free time, zap your energy, and even contribute to sleep issues. For panic sufferers, increased anxiety can result in panic attacks. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to help reduce your evening anxiety, allowing for a fun and relaxing evening to a restful night.
Read on for 6 tips to that may help you overcome evening anxiety.

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Set an Intention Early:

Many of us go from one activity to the next throughout our day without really considering how we are feeling, let alone how we would like to feel. For example, do you ever come home after a long day of work and think to yourself, “I really want to relax and enjoy this evening?” Most likely you are far too busy or preoccupied to stop and ponder how you want your evening to be. However, by setting an intention early, you are more likely to get the results you want. So, for instance, if you remind yourself each day that you are determined to have a peaceful evening, you are more likely to actually experience it that way. Remembering to set an intention is easier when you mark a certain point in your day for it. For example, while driving home from work, you may be going over in your mind all the stress that you went through that day. At a certain point during your drive home, such as when you drive over a bridge or pass a certain landmark, you can set the intention to let go of work stress from that point forward and enjoy the rest of your evening.

Learn to Be Present:

Along the same lines of not being in touch with how we want to feel, many of us spend much of our time completely unaware or detached from the present moment. By making an effort to be more mindful, you may be better able to enjoy your evening. Mindfulness can prevent you from going over every worry in your head and allow you to recognize that you do not have to react to every thought that pops into your mind. Try to listen closely to your loved ones, enjoy the food you are eating, notice the beauty of the earth – these are all simple ways to push anxiety aside and become more mindful.

Leave Some Extra Transition Time:

Transition time is the time that is needed between tasks. Many of us underestimate how much transition time is needed. For instance, your evening may consist of numerous different tasks that you need to do before you go to bed.
Whatever amount of time you have allotted for each task, add a bit more time as a buffer should a task take longer than you think. That way you will avoid feeling overwhelmed, trying to cram too much in before bedtime.

Prepare for the Next Day:

Many people find it anxiety-provoking to think about all that they need to do the next day. One of the best things to do to avoid this type of anxiety is to be prepared. Get as much ready as you can, like having your clothes picked out, lunches and bags packed, and your alarm clock set. Putting a small amount of effort into preparation can help keep evening anxiety under control.

Create Some Space to Unwind:

When everything is done for the night and ready for the next day, you do need some time to relax and re energize. Set time aside each evening to simply relax and let go. You may find it nice to practice a relaxation technique, such as deep breathing, journaling, or yoga. Perhaps you find it comforting to read a book. Maybe you unwind best with a warm bath or tea.
Regardless of what brings you serenity, spend at least 10 minutes for some downtime each evening. Doing so will allow you to feel calmer throughout your evening and may even be the start for getting a good night’s rest.

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Establish a Bedtime Routine:

Establishing a bedtime routine lets you focus on taking proactive steps for yourself instead ruminating in your anxiety. Your bedtime routine may include activities such as taking a shower, brushing your teeth, changing into pyjamas, reading from an inspirational book, prayer, or listening to music.
Your bedtime routine should be established to help set you up for better rest. Don’t include any activities that may be too overstimulating, such as reading through social media or watching TV. Instead, allow your routine to be quiet, leading up to you falling asleep. This will signal to your brain that it is time to rest and will allow you to go to sleep without an upset and anxious mind.
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Well there you are 6 tips to help you with afternoon and evening anxiety. Next week night time anxiety.

Let me know if these help.

These tips and extracts are taken from my book. ‘Can I change?‘ available from Amazon in paperback and kindle.

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Have a great week

Best wishes

Jon x

Jon Adkin BAHyp Hypnotherapist.

Even more boosts for your self-confidence.

Hi.

How did you get on? Did any of my tips help you last week? I do hope so.  This week I’m going to continue to offer more tips and advice and let’s hope one or some of them help you in the future.

Speak slowly. Such a simple thing, but it can have a big difference in how others perceive you. A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he isn’t worth listening to will speak quickly, because he doesn’t want to keep others waiting on something not worthy of listening to. Even if you don’t feel the confidence of someone who speaks slowly, try doing it a few times. It will make you feel more confident.

Stand tall. I have horrible posture, and I’m short, so it will sound hypocritical for me to give this advice, but I know it works because I try it often. When I remind myself to stand tall and straight, I feel better about myself. I imagine that a rope is pulling the top of my head toward the sky, and the rest of my body straightens accordingly. As an aside, people who stand tall and confident are more attractive. That’s a good thing any day, in my book.

Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.- Theodore Roosevelt

Set a small goal and achieve it. People often make the mistake of shooting for the moon, and then when they fail, they get discouraged. Instead, shoot for something much more achievable. Set a goal you know you can achieve, and then achieve it. You’ll feel good about that. Now set another small goal and achieve that. The more you achieve small goals, the better you’ll be at it, and the better you’ll feel. Soon you’ll be setting bigger (but still achievable) goals and achieving those too.

Change a small habit. Not a big one, like quitting smoking. Just a small one, like writing things down. Or waking up 10 minutes earlier. Or drinking a glass of water when you wake up. Something small that you know you can do. Do it for a month. When you’ve accomplished it, you’ll feel fantastic.

Focus on solutions. If you are a complainer, or focus on problems, change your focus now. Focusing on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for your confidence and your career. “I’m fat and lazy!” So how can you solve that? “But I can’t motivate myself!” So how can you solve that? “But I have no energy!” So what’s the solution?

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Smile. Another trite one. But it works. I feel instantly better when I smile, and it helps me to be kinder to others as well. A little tiny thing that can have a chain reaction. Not a bad investment of your time and energy.

Be grateful. I’m a firm believer in gratitude,  but I put it here because while being grateful for what you have in life, for what others have given you, is a very humbling activity … it can also be a very positive and rewarding activity that will improve your self-image.

Exercise. Gosh, I seem to put this one on almost every list. But if I left it off this list I would be doing you a disservice. Exercise has been one of my most empowering activities in the last couple years, and it has made me feel so much better about myself.
All you have to do is take a walk a few times a week, and you’ll see benefits.

One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.-  Arthur Ashe

Do something you’ve been procrastinating on. What’s on your to-do list that’s been sitting there? Do it first thing in the morning, and get it out of the way. You’ll feel great about yourself.

Work on small things. Trying to take on a huge project or task can be overwhelming and daunting and intimidating for anyone, even the best of us. Instead, learn to break off small chunks and work in bursts. Small little achievements make you feel good, and they add up to big achievements. Learn to work like this all the time, and soon you’ll be a self-confident maniac.

You are good enough

Clear your desk. This might seem like a small, simple thing (then again, for some of you it might not be so small). But it has always worked wonders for me. If my desk starts to get messy, and the world around me is in chaos, clearing off my desk is my way of getting a little piece of my life under control. It is the calm in the centre of the storm around me.

I hope some or just one of these tips helps you. Until next time. If you are ready to move on but need a little help, visit my website jonadkin.com or book a free consultation online at jadkinbahyp.youcanbook.me 

I started this blog 2 weeks ago with a quote and I will finish with one.

Somehow I can’t believe that there are any heights that can’t be scaled by a man or woman who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarised in four C s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable. – Walt Disney

Jon XX

Do you take time for you?

Hi I’m back. Did you miss me? What do you mean you didn’t even notice I wasn’t here. I took some me time. I traveled, I read, I laughed and I walked, boy did I walk. I had a great time, yes I did some work but that was all part of it. In the main I had a week of me time. Time to unwind, time to relax, time to think and time to please myself.  Taking me time is very important. It allows you to get your head together, it allows the body to unwind it allows you to catch up.

Now to have me time you don’t need to go abroad, you actually don’t even have to leave your home.

I bet you think that there is never enough time for doing the things you want to do? Want to get off the daily treadmill of never ending TO DO’s, jobs and family ‘stuff’ always cropping up?

ME TIME isn’t something to just be dreamed about. It’s not a pie in the sky idea only for the select few that don’t have any commitments.

It’s real.

And it’s possible!

I promise!

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WHY TIME FOR YOURSELF IS IMPORTANT

I always try and make time for me in every day now – sounds selfish?

I used to think that it was, but it really and truly isn’t – and it was actually a lovely colleague  who said something that stuck with me and changed how I thought about it….

He pointed out that if I am not functioning well and am happy, then the rest of the family and house suffers directly as a result. I simply don’t function as well, or feel as happy, when I am burnt out and trying to do all things for all people. We all owe it to ourselves to make some time for ourselves, as it genuinely can make all those around you happier as a result.

BUT I DON’T DESERVE “ME TIME” … DO I?

We all have crazy lives, with work, children, hobbies, household jobs etc…. taking over our time, and headspace most days, but without setting aside personal time you will burn out far too quickly, and then be of no use to anyone…

What’s the point of that!

From personal experience I know how dangerous it can be to not balance your time, It’s not a good place to be as I am sure you can appreciate. Trying to do everything and please everyone all the time can really take its toll. EVERYONE deserves a little time to themselves each day – it’s not whether you deserve it – it’s whether you can afford NOT to…

So – we’ve worked out that you need some time to yourself, and that you deserve it and shouldn’t feel in any way guilty for taking it, so what type of thing can you do?

Here are some great Me Time ideas for inspiration – and remember – it doesn’t matter how small that time is, make it count:-

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  • Go for a walk – get out of the house if there’s lots going on, and distance yourself for a few minutes – the exercise will also be great for you and you will feel rejuvenated
  • Take a bath – lock the door so you have no interruptions.
  • Read a book or your favourite magazine.
  • Take the afternoon off and go to the cinema.
  • Get up 20 minutes earlier or go to bed 20 minutes earlier and do something that is just about you! Reading, fitness, learning a new skill etc…
  • Book in me time into your diary as you would any other appointment – and don’t let yourself down by missing it. If you have children, why not give grandparents special time with them alone for a few hours one weekend, don’t wait for a special event that you specifically need them to babysit for, just do it!
  • Get a babysitter even if you’ve not got an evening out planned. You could go for a long walk, sit in a cafe, go to the cinema etc… – and just enjoy time to yourself.
  • Take some time to breathe, and perhaps meditate.
  • Go technology free. Turn off your phone, don’t have any notifications pinging at you – and enjoy being silent!
  • Record your favourite programme and make sure you spend time watching without interruptions.
  • Pamper yourself (both men and women can do this)
  • Why not look at your life plan (whether it’s a 5 year plan or a different time span) – see what you can start to really make headway towards by spending some quality time on it each week – this may be perfect for your me time (I personally like to DO things with me time, and feel more refreshed after doing such things – maybe you’re the same?…)
  • Go shopping for a new outfit – or just window shopping – spending time working out what suits you and what looks fantastic will do you the world of good!
  • If you work from home, think about having some me time during the day rather than waiting for the evening – it’s more likely to be done then, and you will feel refreshed afterwards – what about a trip to a coffee shop, lunch out, a run, a swim…
  • If you have the cash, what about a spa break? If you don’t have spare money why not create a spa at home.
  • Have a sleep! Honestly – sometimes it’s all I can do to keep my eyes open, and now and then I allow myself to take the nap I need. I feel SO good after even just 10 minutes – and get much more done as a result – so everyone’s a winner!
  • Look at a gym class that you would love to do and SIGN UP – work out with your partner any childcare and stick to the appointment as you would anything else. You will feel refreshed and get fit at the same time! (and there’s always the coffee shop and a magazine for half an hour afterwards!).
  • Do a project in your house that you’ve been wanting to do for ages. Painting some furniture, creating some artwork – whatever you love doing – just get it started!
  • Adult colouring is really taking off at the moment – and takes very little time. You can even carry it around with you!

Do It

In the words of Mr Nike. Just do it!

Whether that’s 5 minutes to do some colouring in (this is my promise!), or booking in a babysitter and filling your diary – It will be worth it!

Don’t wait until you have burned out to treat yourself to some time for you.

A happy person makes those around them happier – and if you create some time for yourself this will directly affect how happy you are.

So – use these Me Time ideas to decide on something that you will look forward to each day.

Have a great week

Jon X

www.jonadkin.com