HOW TO BEGIN BELIEVING IN YOURSELF

July’s Blog In Audio Form

To begin, take some time to write down what you know you are good at. Do not limit yourself to professional skills and don’t put any judgments on your list by labeling things as small or not that important. Write everything you are good at from parallel parking to pushups to making the world’s best pumpkin pie. Say them out loud to yourself. Share them on your social media. Use them to introduce yourself during the next icebreaker. Get in the habit of acknowledging and appreciating your gifts, skills and talents and sharing the news with others. Don’t minimize your gifts and accomplishments. Share them with the world proudly and often. Challenge yourself to come up with 20. And then later on 30. Get yourself up to 100. Or 1000. Just keep going. Keep going until you can say, “damn, I’m really something” and then go on some more.

If it is helpful, ask people you love and trust what they think you are good at. Do not do this before you make your first list and do not do it in lieu of it, but as a supplement to the one you make about yourself. To avoid generic or surface answers, phrase the questions as, “what would you hire me to do?” or “what would you pay me to do?” This will allow people in your life to think about what skills are most obvious and impressive to them. Add them to your list, even if you’re not quite ready to embrace them.

After you make your list, write down three moments in your life, from any point, where you have felt proud of something you did or said or accomplished. Again, don’t judge or diminish these. Be honest and take the time to remember them. What about these moments made you proud? How does it feel remembering them? What gifts and values were you accessing during them? How can you capture these feelings again and again and again? Add to your list as you remember more and more moments. Come up with three more and three more and three more after that. Share these moments with people you love, with your team at work, with your boss. Make them a part of your story. Share them with pride. Open the door for others to do the same.

Make a list

Finally, make a list of statements or affirmations that are both true and maybe a little bit of a stretch for you. Statements like:

I am ________________________________________

I know I can _________________________________

I deserve ____________________________________

I am proud of ________________________________

I am capable of _______________________________

I believe that I _______________________________

I will _______________________________________

Come up with different prompts and different answers each time. Or repeat them as they are salient for you. Add more. Or do the same ones over and over again. Practice saying them out loud to yourself, in the mirror if it helps. Email them or text them to yourself. Put them somewhere you can see them. Be creative and try different ways to incorporate them into your life. Notice where you feel good and where you feel uncomfortable. Spend some time reflecting on why.  Make it a habit. Push through when it feels slow or hard. Just keep on going. Whatever you do, don’t ever stop reminding yourself of who you are.

Believe in You

BELIEVING IN YOURSELF DOESN’T MEAN IGNORING CHALLENGES

To those who are used to focusing on what they believe to be wrong and in need of fixing, rest assured that believing in yourself does not in any way necessitate a delusion of self or a pretension of perfection. We all have our struggles and challenges. The reason I am advocating for this focus and dedication solely on strengths and self-belief is that too many of us already spend far too much time focusing on that which we feel we lack. Too often, those around us, both personally and professionally focus on these things too. I am not the least bit concerned that you are not spending enough time on these areas. In fact, my heart breaks when I think about how much you probably do.

So start doing something different. Start believing in yourself. Right this minute. I promise, if you keep at it and learn to fully embrace your own potential, you will begin to live a life you enjoy and are proud of. I believe in you. Now go start believing in yourself!  

It is a very well-known fact that if anyone wants to succeed in life, they must believe in themselves. We have to believe in ourselves and in our abilities because our inner faith will create our external results.

People easily lose faith in themselves when encountering setbacks, failure and fear. When you lack confidence in yourself, others will pick up on that and won’t take you seriously.

Not many people live the life that they have always wished to live; they give up on their life goals as soon as they encounter the first setback. One of the main causes for this is that they do not believe in themselves.

“Believe in yourself, and the rest will fall into place. Have faith in your own abilities, work hard and there is nothing you cannot accomplish.” – Brad Henry

The world that we are living in is extremely competitive and challenging, and people start to doubt themselves and their abilities when they come across failure. But a few failures are not the end. You must get back up again. Here’re 10 ways to believe in yourself again:


  1. Accept Your Current Situation

The first thing you need to do if you want to get back up and start believing in yourself again is to accept your current life situation. You have to make peace with how your life looks at the moment and what led to this situation that you are in.

Fighting with your situation won’t do you any good. Being resistant is pointless, so we must accept first. Only then will we have enough energy to change our life.

2. Think About Your Past Success

If you are feeling down and out, use your past to get motivated again. Remember the time when you used to just kick butt. When you were awesome and you used to rock it! Put yourself in that past and think about the awesome things that you used to do.

Now remember that you can do it again. It is easy to think about the times when you got hurt, but it is just as easy to think about those times when you were successful as well. Use your past to your advantage.

3. Trust Yourself

This is one of the most important things that can help you get that belief and confidence back. All the energy, power, courage, strength and confidence is within you.

Spend time with yourself to access it, whether it be through meditation, journalling, or activities that make you trust in yourself again.

4. Talk with Yourself

We are the ones who create who we will become. We do that every day by our daily beliefs and self-talk. It’s really important that we talk to ourselves and motivate ourselves.

We don’t ultimately need others’ approval. You deserve your own self-approval and supportive self-talk.

5. Don’t Let Fear Stop You

Fear stands for False Evidence that Appears Real.  It is the main thing that holds you back from believing in yourself again more than anything else.

Face your fears and don’t let them stop you from achieving your goals

6. Let Yourself Off the Hook

You have to forgive yourself for any failures or mistakes that you have committed in the past and move on.

You have to look at the future and stop living in the past. Be compassionate towards yourself.

7. Go with a Positive Attitude

Having a positive attitude towards everything is the quickest way in achieving that belief and confidence in yourself.

Be thankful for whatever you are and whatever you have. Always have a positive approach and see the good in the world.

8. Let a Life Coach Help You

A life coach is a professional that helps, supports, and guides you. A life coach can help you recognize your abilities and skills. They can help you refocus on your goals and remember your past successes.

When you’re full of doubt, your life coach will believe in you and help you to believe in yourself again.

9. Keep Moving Forward And Never Look Back

There are going to be countless times in your life when you will feel down and you will feel like giving up. The voice in your head will tell you to stop and you will start to doubt yourself, but never listen to that voice.

Be strong and keep moving on. Never give up on yourself. You have to keep on going and eventually you will reach your destination. And when you do, you will realise how much more powerful you have become.

10. Let Life Move You

Let your life follow its own natural flow.  When you learn to follow your life’s flow, you’ll realize that life is marvellous and precious.

If you let your life guide you, it will shower you with its gifts and riches. You have to accept the life you are given and you have to learn to relax. Allow it to let you move in the direction you are meant to go, and you will find success.

Until next month

Start believing in yourself. and make your dreams a reality.

Have a good month

Jon X

Jon Adkin BAHyp Clinical Hypnotherapist and IEMT Practitioner.

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It all Starts With You

June Blog In Audible Format.

Welcome to June’s Blog.

When you believe in yourself, you can overcome self-doubt and have the confidence to take action and get things done. When you’re drowning in fears, doubts, and self-sabotaging behaviors, success feels out of your grasp. All of the skills, training, and tools in the world won’t change your life
Some people say it’s resources, luck, background or connections that create successful people. Whereas I surely agree that all these and many other factors influence the path of every individual, the most contributing factor to achieving something significant is self-belief. Without this key ingredient, there’s not a lot that could help you.
To put yourself on the track to success, you need to understand that your brain always plays against you. It doesn’t care about your big goals, the only thing it wants is to keep you alive. Therefore, we experience procrastination, self-doubt, negative thinking, anxiety and so on. The sure-fire way to overcome these obstacles is to not believe in them and truly believe in yourself.
If you don’t believe in yourself, who else will?
Honestly, if you don’t believe you’re going to succeed, then how on earth would anybody else do? Let’s say you want to build a successful business and you need to convince the investors that your idea is the one worth putting funds into.

You build self-confidence

If you are not confident enough, you’ll break like a twig the first time you face an obstacle. Whatever you want to achieve, there will be countless barriers questioning your competences. The only way to get through them is by being confident enough that you can and will.

This confidence comes from within, from the deep belief in yourself and your abilities.

Most of my work is with women who have fallen out of love with themselves. They come to me because they are struggling,  and they want me to help them get the skills they need to live their life better. They want something quick and clear, a top ten list of items to implement in order to live effectively. If it were only that easy.

You Can Do It

THE IMPACT OF BELIEVING IN YOURSELF

Believing in yourself affects everything you do. Everything. From your professional life to your personal life to your solitary life. In your relationship with yourself and in your relationships with others. In the choices you make and in the dreams you dream. How you view yourself, how you measure your value, how you assess your potential and how you determine your worth all combine to create the life you will live.

From your days as a student, the choices you make are determined by your belief in yourself. You choose your classes, your major, your training, your first job, not just based on what you think you might enjoy but based on what you think you are capable of and even deserve.

Parents, guidance counsellors, friends and neighbours may have influenced your belief in yourself by the judgement and advice they have given you- good, bad or otherwise. By ascribing certain schools as longshots or safeties based on their perception of your ability. By telling you which jobs you were qualified for or had enough experience in.

Sometimes these messages were shared with words like, “that’s a really hard school to get into” or “only the top students are ever chosen for that program.” Other times the message was more of a reaction, a look even, when you told someone, you trusted what you wanted and hoped for. Their eyes, their smile, their surprise indicated their support or disbelief. You may be receiving these messages still.

When we internalize the messages we receive, we often give them more weight than we do our own beliefs about ourselves. We start to take on the identity others ascribe to us and make choices based on that identity. We believe the version of ourselves that others project, a version that often reflects their own beliefs in themselves. We let others determine our value and worth. We let others write our stories.

In other cases, we receive great support and encouragement from those around us. We are fortunate to be told, over and over again, that we are valuable and worthy and capable of oh so much. That we can do anything we set our minds to. That the world is ours for the taking and that we can live the life we choose. But then, we reject these messages and raise the voice inside of us that says, “What do you know?”

So wherever you are coming from, whatever messages you have been told, whatever voices you have chosen to listen to, you are in a position today, right this moment to tell yourself that you are worthy and valuable and filled with potential and that you believe in yourself. No matter what anyone else has ever told you, including yourself.

It All Starts With You

START BELIEVING IN YOURSELF BY BELIEVING IN YOURSELF

Too often we look at others and compare our worth to theirs. Or we look at our past and use it to determine our future. Neither of these has any bearing whatsoever on what your life can be. No matter how successful and talented you deem everyone else to be or how many times you think you have failed, when you believe that the future is whatever you choose to make it, that is exactly what it begins to be.

You will decide what jobs to apply for based on your belief in your ability to secure them and do them well. You will pursue promotions based on your belief that you have earned them and that you are ready for the next level. You will take chances, risks and opportunities based on your belief that they are valuable for your growth and that you are valuable and deserving of them. You will negotiate and ask for raises based on your confidence in doing so and your belief that the money is rightfully yours. You will learn to confront people and situations because being liked by others is far less important to you than being respected and liked by yourself and believing in your strength to do the right thing. You will lead with confidence and vision because you recognize how great you can be, even if your skills are not yet where you would like them to be.

BELIEVING IN YOURSELF STARTS BEGINS AND ENDS WITH YOUR MINDSET

And like everything else, it all starts with your mindset, with the conversations you have with yourself and the messages you choose to believe. You can tell yourself that you are simply not good at something, or you can tell yourself that you can get better at anything you dedicate your energy to. You can talk yourself out of applying for a job you want because you think you will never get it, or you can prepare a powerful cover letter explaining why you are a fabulous fit for the position. You can tell yourself that you are just not good at public speaking or confrontation you excel or you can invest in your growth to get better at what will help you shine.

So how do you believe in yourself in moments or even a lifetime when you don’t? Some people will tell you to fake it until you do not have to fake it anymore. If that works for you, then do that. But more than faking it, I think being honest and starting exactly where you are is more effective. When I work with clients who want to quit smoking, the most powerful advice I ever give is all they had to do to quit smoking was to not smoke. Believing in yourself works exactly the same way. If you want to start doing it, you simply need to start doing it.  It is a process and it may be slower and harder than you would prefer., but know that you will get better at it if you choose.

Until next month

Start believing in yourself. and make your dreams a reality.

Have a good month

Jon X

Jon Adkin BAHyp Clinical Hypnotherapist and IEMT Practitioner.

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So how does it all work?

So last weekend I did something very special, I met up with my Half-Sister and Half-Brother. We had never met before and we share the same birth mother. Now the reason I’m blogging about this is that we had arranged to meet in the afternoon, nothing formal, just an initial chat in a pub local to them. If you know me, you know I like waistcoats even with jeans. When I turned up my half-Brother who doesn’t follow me on any social media was wearing almost identical clothing smart jeans, waistcoat and a white shirt. So, it got me thinking. Even though we had never met we obviously have a very similar taste in clothes, our sense of humour was very much the same and immediately we all hit it off. The connection was amazing. So, is it possible that the genes from our mum still stand strong even though we had very different upbringings and very different lives? It certainly made me think.

Our Thoughts

As I work with the subconscious in my work as a hypnotherapist, I know full well That the subconscious mind is the powerful secondary system that runs everything in your life. Learning how to stimulate the communication between the conscious and the subconscious minds is a powerful tool on the way to success, happiness and riches.

The subconscious mind is a data-bank for everything, which is not in your conscious mind. It stores your beliefs, your previous experience, your memories, your skills. Everything that you have seen, done or thought is also there.

It is also your guidance system. It constantly monitors the information coming from the senses for dangers and opportunities. he communication between the subconscious and the conscious mind is bidirectional. Every time when you have an idea, or an emotion, a memory or an image from the past, this is the subconscious mind communicating to your conscious mind. The communication in the other way is not so trivial and is achieved using the principle of auto-suggestion.

This blog will introduce the powers of the subconscious mind and how they can be used on the way to success. You will learn how to communicate better with your subconscious and how to set it on the track you want it to follow.

What is the subconscious mind?

Have you ever read that humans only use a portion of their brains? Well, this is most of all, because of the subconscious mind. Scientists have never really studied it in depth and we still do not know enough about it. But we do know that it could run and control almost everything we do.

For example, when you meditate and you start controlling your breath, you get the control from the subconscious mind and give it to your conscious mind. You start breading deep and with your stomach. Then you stop to control it and your subconscious starts doing it. You do not have to think about it any more. Your breathing will continue to be relaxed until another stimulus changes it (stress for example). Everything is controlled in the back of your head.

Another example of the tasks of the subconscious mind is the information coming from the senses. Your brain is bombarded with hundreds of MB per second of information. It would explode if it had to review and process everything. This is why you have a barrier in between – the subconscious mind. It processes everything and it would only pass this information which is relevant for you in this very moment.

Communicating to your subconscious mind

Communicating thoughts from your conscious mind to your subconscious mind is difficult because it should be done with emotions. Only the thoughts that are conveyed with genuine emotions make it to the back of your mind. And only the thoughts that are backed up by a strong emotion stay there. Unfortunately, this is true both for the negative and the positive emotions. And also, unfortunately, the negative emotions are usually stronger than the positive ones.

Fear and negative self-talk

Your first step in harnessing the power of the subconscious mind is to eliminate the thoughts loaded with negative emotions. You also need to stop the negative self-talk or at least make sure that it is not loaded with emotions. Your fears often tend to come true, especially when you are very emotional about them. And this is why negative self-talk could produce such harmful effects. Eliminating these negative thoughts, or countering them as soon as possible is very important step towards success.

There is story about the guardian angel that always follows you. When you say to yourself “my life is awful”, it writes down awful life. When you say “my job is boring”, it writes down boring job. And when you say “my body is ugly”, it write down ugly body. And then it goes on and grants you all those wishes, because they are filled with strong emotions (sadness, disappointment, regret, self-loathing). That angel is your subconscious mind. Stop here and ask yourself: “Do you can afford letting negative self-talk enter your mind?”

The countering technique

One of the best practices in reducing negative self-talk is the counter technique. Every time a negative thought comes to your mind, you counter it with the extreme positive counter-thought. For example if you have an important presentation and you think to your self: “I am going to embarrass myself in front of all those people”, immediately counter it with: “NO! I am going to be so good that the audience will applaud me for five minutes”. The truth will often be somewhere in between.

The delete button technique

Another power tool in countering the negative self-talk is the delete button. When a negative thought enters your mind, you press the delete button in your mind and image how the thought, written on a piece of paper, is destroyed.

Now you may have noticed I’ve used a lot of technical computer references in this blog. The reason, well funny you should ask. This week I launched a new hypnotherapy package entitled Update and Reboot 2020. Where I can offer you the chance to delete all those old injustices, and negative thoughts that you have been holding on to. Followed by a reboot allowing you to think and feel different about yourself. You can read more about it here.

Next week I will give you some more tips and advice on how you can talk to your best friend, your subconscious.

As for the opening question in this blog. Perhaps My Half-Brother just has good taste in clothes, just like me. 😊

Until next week. Have a great week.

Best wishes

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Don’t let your thoughts ruin your Christmas.

Hi. Welcome back to my last post of 2019. What a year it’s been. Ups and downs and a few surprises thrown in. However with all that I survived mine and you survived yours if you are reading this. so well done. The good bits hold in your heart the bad bits let them go. if you made mistakes, learn from them. if they weren’t your problem then don’t worry about it and just move on.

For my last blog I want to conclude my posts on  self confidence.

I am a great believer in positive thinking and self belief and daily affirmations have helped me so much. Remember what we say to ourselves we believe, our mind believes so think positive and you will stay positive.

Here are some quotes and affirmations that I would like to share with you for Christmas.

Self-Confidence Quotes

One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.

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Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment.

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Don’t let others put thoughts into your mind that takes away your self-confidence.
To excel at the highest level – or any level,

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you need to believe in yourself,

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Always be yourself and have faith in yourself.

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Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

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Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do and, at some point, you will.

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Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.

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Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

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As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

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Confidence is when you believe in yourself and your abilities, arrogance is when you think you are better than others and act accordingly.

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The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence .

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Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?

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To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.

Daily Affirmations

I believe in me.

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I’m getting stronger every day.

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I can do this.

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I am who I want to be

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I know my worth

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I’ve decided I’m good enough.

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I have the strength to change my story.

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I deserve to be happy and loved.

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I accept myself unconditionally.

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I love myself, and I accept myself as I am.

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I am confident.

When you get up in the morning choose an affirmation and smile at yourself in the mirror and say it to yourself. It’s a simple and powerful way to start your day.

Merry Christmas and I sincerely wish you all the very best for 2020.

See you in January. Have a good one.

Jon XX

These last few posts have been taken from my book ‘Can I Change?‘ Available from Amazon .It makes an ideal stocking filler.

 

Confidence. A Christmas gift for you.

Hi

Welcome back. This week I want to share some tips that will help you gain some of that confidence that you may feel you need.

Habits That Make You Feel Positive and Confident

Make a decision. Don’t consult with a friend about what to order at  dinner or call your spouse when shopping for groceries. Make a decision based on what your gut is telling you. It will make you feel stronger and allows you to practice trusting your inner voice.

Try something new. Confidence doesn’t come from perfection, it comes from effort.

Gently exercise. Exercise is the most important non-medicine           treatment for anxiety, depression, and insomnia. Just moving your body will break up negative thoughts and boost serotonin. Move your body every day, just be mindful of your energy and never overdo it. A seven minute workout or yoga in your living room will all work.

Clean up your news feed. Social media that is full of triggers, images, and updates can push you into a bad mood. Start following inspirational or “happy” accounts. HealthyPlace on Facebook or my Guidance Girl page always inspires. The more positive images you view the better you will feel.

Think back. Think back over the past week and write down every nice thing others said to you. Review the complements or comments when you’re feeling insecure.

Make a happy playlist. Music can  physiologically changes your brain and body. It can make you breathe faster, increase your pulse, and make you smile. Songs with a quick tempo and uplifting lyrics have been shown to be more effective at bringing out happy emotions. One of my favourites is ‘Happy’ by Pharrell. What are a few on your playlist?

Say no. Don’t say yes when you want to say no. You’re letting yourself down if you do favours you don’t want to do. Next time someone asks for something that will make you feel funky, and you feel the urge to say “yes,” remind yourself they are asking, not ordering. You will respect yourself more later on.

Practice posture. Hunching over at your desk can make you less        confident and more insecure according to research from Ohio State   University. Pull your belly button in towards your spine and pull your shoulders back when sitting or standing.

Give yourself credit for small, daily accomplishments, even if you are not done. Did you work on cleaning up your closet but still have stacks of clothes to fold? Great, take a moment to focus on what you have done, don’t just wait until a project is finished.

Get grateful. Write a thank-you note, or call someone to say thanks for meeting with you for lunch last week. People who are mindful of the positives in their life, create more positive energy. Comment on a post you like, email a friend, or even write down what you are grateful for in the moment (try and think of 5 new ones each time).

Remember, small shifts can produce remarkable results. The intention of building more positive thoughts and experiences will undoubtedly increase your self-confidence and self-esteem. One of my favourite  affirmations that may help is:

 

“I am perfectly imperfect.

I strive for better while loving all that I am today.

In loving myself today, I am better equipped to

improve myself tomorrow.”

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Can I do it?

Self-Efficacy “You Can Do It – You’ve Got What It Takes, or Can Get What It Takes!”

Self-efficacy is where we believe that it is possible for us to acquire the knowledge and skills that will enable us to achieve goals and success. It enables us to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of        setbacks and adversity. The opposite of self-efficacy is feelings like, you are not bright enough, or you are not educated enough, you didn’t go to the right school or university, or you are lacking anything, that you use as an excuse to justify your belief, that you can’t do it, you’ve not got what it takes, and you can’t get what it takes.

Self-Esteem “You Matter as Much as Anyone Else, You Deserve it, and You Can Cope with Anything!”

Self-esteem, is the belief that we matter, that we are important, in fact as important as anyone else, and that in general terms, we can cope with pretty much whatever life throws at us, and that we have a right to be happy and successful. Our self-esteem is helped, if others around us, approve of us and what we do; but it also helped, if we feel we are     behaving virtuously, and also that we are competent and skilled at what we do, and that we have the ability to accomplish things we want to, when we put our minds to it.

Positive Self-Image “You are Good Enough in All Respects Just as You Are!”

Dr Maxwell Maltz, wrote a book called Psycho-Cybernetics, which has helped millions of people. Dr Maltz was a plastic surgeon, who regularly positively impacted people’s physical appearance with his plastic        surgery. He observed the difference between people who had a positive perception of their physical changes, and how that positive perception could massively improve their success and happiness in life, and those who had a negative or unchanging perception of their appearance. In the case of the latter, nothing changed in their life. Our self-image, can have a massive impact on our self-confidence, and on the outcomes we achieve in our careers and lives.

14 Ways To Shed Negativity And Achieve Happiness

How many of us feel complete self-love and self-compassion? How many of us take care of our own needs and rely on the way we look at         ourselves instead of seeing who we are through the eyes of our partners or our tribe? How many of us live from our core beliefs instead of living through what everyone is expecting of us?

Learning self-love and overcoming the barriers you’ve built against   yourself are the greatest secrets to living happily. Self-love can bring you closer to inner truth and allow you to attract and create the happiness you deserve in your relationship, career, and life. Self-love will bring peace, love, fulfilment, satisfaction, significance, groundedness,         freedom, maturity, wisdom, and magic into your life.

Change

Here are 14 self-love steps that you can begin today to attract the love and happiness you want in your life:

 

  1. Get to know who you are.

Imagine yourself walking down the street with each one of your values. How do you feel? What do you notice? How are you expressing yourself? This will help you identify yourself through your own eyes instead of through the eyes of others.

  1. Be true to yourself. 

You can only speak your truth and express who you are when you are 100% honest with yourself first. Sometimes we discover things we don’t necessarily like about ourselves, but you can spend your life complaining about your weaknesses, or you can choose to shift your attention to your strengths.

  1. Take care of your needs.

We often do what others need so we can feel good about ourselves through the way they react to our action. This causes us to live our lives through the eyes of others and not from our core. Instead, take a look at what your needs are. What is the ONE thing you can do today that would make you feel more loved? For example, you can cook for      yourself, take a hot bubble bath, meditate, clean your room, or go wild listening to your favourite band.

  1. Learn to breathe.

We have a tendency to pressure ourselves into doing things quickly. Step back a little bit and watch yourself in action. What is the worst thing that could happen if you don’t get your tasks done immediately? Would you rather stay overwhelmed or would you rather enjoy your journey as you are completing your tasks?

  1. Be patient with yourself.

Have self-compassion. Your role models probably worked their butt off to get to where they are now, so be patient, take your journey step-by-step, and enjoy how life is unfolding for you. You miss out on so much in life when you beat yourself up. Patience is key to discovering the beauty of the mystery that every moment brings to you.

  1. Listen to your inner child.

The inner child is a very powerful voice that resides deep in our being. It is the voice of the needs that have not been met ever since we were kids. It talks to us about fear, hurt, and the safety that it is longing for and the love that it hungers for. So when you are in a challenging situation, step back for a moment and ask your inner child, “What is really hurting me right now? What do I really want?”

  1. Count your blessings.

We all have SO many blessings in our lives that we tend to take them for granted. Count every single thing you have in your life and be thankful for it. It could be as simple as being grateful for drinking water whenever you want. Practicing gratitude helps us find more meaning and appreciation in our everyday life.

  1. Accept your feelings.

Pain is part of life, and accepting what you feel right now is the first step towards your happiness. You may be angry and in so much pain, you might be regretting what you have done in the past. Allowing yourself to feel helps you identify the root cause of your disappointment and the moment you understand this feeling, you shift towards discovering what you want in life and how to get it.

  1. Do one act of kindness everyday.

Say something nice to a colleague or family member and show appreciation to people around you. This is a great way to start acknowledging the goodness in yourself and reflecting it in others.

  1. Build your support system.

You don’t have to hang out with people who don’t make you feel good about yourself. You have a choice, so find people who think like you, who are positive, who show support, who are grateful, and who reflect the quality that you want to have in your life.

  1. Work with your fears.

We all have fears that have been engraved within us ever since our childhood. Understanding your fears and allowing them to surface will help you work through them. When you repress and reject your fears because of unrealistic expectations of being perfect that society imposes on us, you will be granting more power and control to your fears.

  1. Recognize the love that is within you.

You are made of of love, you are love, and love rules Earth. No matter how much you try to beat yourself up or indirectly hurt others, know that in your heart you are seeking love in every moment you live. The only guarantee you have in life is that you can give love without expecting anything in return. Be the love that you want to experience in your life and in your relationship.

  1. Forgive and let go of the past.

Beating yourself up and blaming your unhappiness on the past will trigger more suffering in your life. You know you have a purpose in your life, so you have a choice: let the past haunt you and inflict more suffering in your life, or forgive yourself.

  1. Smile.

Smiling is healing for the heart, the mind and the body. Certain experiences can bring a smile to our face, and sometimes a smile can truly shift a negative emotion to a positive one. It is a simple way to heal yourself and bring a smile to other people’s faces.

You can stop and overcome the barriers that are preventing you from getting what you want. You are strong and you are love in your own   nature, so how are you going to use these strengths to create the happy life and loving relationship you want?

Next week I will share some Affirmations and some powerful quotes that have certainly helped me over the years.

Have a great week

Jon X

Want to read more or keep tips like this to hand. Buy my book ‘Can I change‘ From Amazon.

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