How is your self Esteem?

Hi How are we all doing? I promised at the tail end of last year that I’m going to start using this blog and my Facebook page  to help with certain conditions or emotions etc. Well today I’m going to start doing that.

I want to start with self esteem. I’m starting with this one as it’s very close to me heart. Way back when I lost a lot of self esteem due to illness, and it was due to self hypnosis that I regained my self esteem and my own self belief.  That is why I am now a full time hypnotherapist and that is also why I want to share some tips that helped me.

So what is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves. It’s based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves, which can sometimes feel really difficult to change.

Your self-esteem can affect whether you:

  • like and value yourself as a person. Do you?
  • are able to make decisions and assert yourself. Can you?
  • recognise your strengths and positives. Do you think positive about yourself?
  • feel able to try new or difficult things. Are you scared to?
  • show kindness towards yourself. Do you do this?
  • move past mistakes without blaming yourself unfairly. It’s not easy.
  • take the time you need for yourself. Sp many of us don’t do this.
  • believe you matter and are good enough. Of course you are good enough.
  • believe you deserve happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy.

For me, building self-esteem was about learning what self-esteem was in the first place. It was unlearning what I had learned about myself … I went back to self-school and learned all about me.

What can cause low self-esteem?

The things that affect our self-esteem differs for everyone. Your self-esteem might change suddenly, or you might have had low self-esteem for a while – which might make it hard to recognise how you feel and make changes.

Difficult or stressful life experiences can often be a factor, such as:

  • being bullied or abused
  • experiencing prejudice, discrimination or stigma
  • losing your job or difficulty finding employment
  • problems at work or while studying
  • ongoing stress
  • physical health problems. This was my change point.
  • mental health problems
  • relationship problems, separation or divorce
  • worries about your appearance and body image
  • problems with money or housing.

You might have had some of these experiences, and you might also have had difficulties that aren’t listed here. Or there might not be one particular cause.

My self esteem has almost disappeared…. I don’t know how to interact with people anymore and find it hard to enjoy the things that I like

Whatever has affected your self-esteem, it’s important to remember that you have the right to feel good about who you are. It might feel as if changing things will be difficult, but there are lots of things you can try to improve things bit by bit.

So how can I improve my self-esteem?

This blog has some tips and suggestions for improving your self-esteem.

Some people may find these ideas useful, but remember that different things work for different people at different times. Only try what you feel comfortable with, and try not to put too much pressure on yourself. If something isn’t working for you (or doesn’t feel possible just now), you can try something else, or come back to it another time.

Some peoples just presume [their dislike of themselves] was a part of who they are … It is only when you realise that your self-esteem doesn’t have to be negative so start challenging your own ideas about yourself.

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Be kind to yourself

  • Get to know yourself. Try to learn more about yourself – for example what makes you happy and what you value in life. Some people say they find it helpful to write in a journal.
  • Let yourself have feelings. It’s important to remember that you’re a human being who can experience a wide range of emotions.
  • Consider what self-esteem means to you. You might realise you’re basing your sense of self-worth on things that aren’t useful or helpful for you.

Realising that I can change my ideas about what I base my self-esteem on has helped. I can’t do what I used to, but I can be the kind of person I want to be and now that seems more important to me

  • Try to challenge unkind thoughts about yourself. You might automatically put yourself down. If you find yourself doing this, it can help to ask: “Would I talk to, or think about, a friend in this way?”
  • Avoid comparing yourself to others. Try to remember that what other people choose to share about their lives isn’t the full picture and comparing ourselves isn’t realistic.
  • Say positive things to yourself. It might feel really strange at first, but you’ll feel more comfortable the more you do it.

I’ve come to realise that people get to choose what they present about themselves online … In reality, no one’s life is perfect and everyone has insecurities, and it’s important to remember this in order to not feel bad about yourself every time you see somebody post the ‘perfect’ selfie

Look after yourself

  • Try to get enough sleep. Getting too little or too much sleep can have a big impact on how you feel.
  • Think about your diet. Eating regularly and keeping your blood sugar stable can make a difference to your mood and energy levels.
  • Try to do some physical activity. Exercise can be really helpful for your mental wellbeing and some people find it helps improve their self-esteem.
  • Spend time outside. Spending time in green space can help your wellbeing.

Taking a few minutes for myself each day can really help me feel better.

Try to notice the good things

  • Celebrate your successes. No matter how small they may seem, take time to praise yourself and notice what you did well. It could also help to remember past successes.
  • Accept compliments. You could make a note of them to look over when you’re feeling low or doubting yourself.
  • Ask people what they like about you. It’s likely that they see you differently to how you see yourself.

That’s made a start and I will continue with self esteem in my next blog. but as it is valentines day this week. the best piece of advice I want to give you is

Love yourself first.

Till next time

Best wishes.

NameXX

Can I change?

Don’t you just hate this time of year. everywhere you turn someone is trying to sell you something. Doesn’t it drive you just mad.  Welcome to my blog.

Hey. I have a new book out!

Yep I’m one of the annoying someones trying to sell you something.  sorry about that but I have no shame. my new book  ‘Can I Change?’ is available from Amazon at  Jon Adkin on Amazon.

Book Cover

My book isn’t a hypnosis book but a book full of tips, advice, facts and affirmations to help women and especially mums control their anxiety and give themselves some self-confidence. It’s an ideal stocking filler and comes in 3 formats.

Paperback £12.50   Kindle  £9.99  e-book  £10.00 (available from jonadkin.com)

So what do you get for your money? Well it’s not war and Peace I can tell you that,  it’s a book that you can dip in and out of at your leisure. It breaks down anxiety and how it effects you at different times of  day. So there is a section on morning anxiety. how it effects you, what you can do to control it and steps that you can take to actually prevent it. Is your anxiety worse in the afternoon or evening? there is a section there for you to. Full of tips that again puts you in control. and night time anxiety. Why can’t you sleep, or why is the sleep so broken. What are you doing wrong. This book may have the answer. You may need to change some of the habits that you’ve got into. you may even have to change your diet but whatever your lifestyle I’m sure there is going to be a tip or a piece of advice that will help you.

I also look at self-confidence. What is it? how do we show ourselves to others? and most importantly how we gain it for ourselves.

Also I’m a fan of using daily affirmations. well this book has loads. and I also explain how best to use them to get the best results.

So that’s it. are you sold?

Sorry for the blatant plug but I really believe in this book and I think it will help many people before the anxiety really takes over.

Normal service will be resumed next week. My last blog before Christmas. Where did this year go?

Enjoy the last week before the big day. remember don’t put too much pressure on yourselves. Don’t get yourself in debt. make memories but most importantly of all enjoy it.

Oh before I go. one more plug.

ukplug

Have a great weekend.

Name xx

 

Sleep ZZZZZZzzzzzz

Would you believe it 2 blogs within the same week. Don’t worry it won’t last. The reason I’m back so quick is that I’m launching a freebie tomorrow. Yep I’m giving something away for free. (Hang on two blogs in a week, now giving something away… NURSE!)

As a thank you for your continued support I thought I would like to give something back, so tomorrow on my Facebook page fb.me/adkin23 I’m giving away my ‘A Better Nights Sleep’ sound file. You will be able to download and then it’s yours to keep.

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I often read morning posts on Facebook saying “Woke again early hours” or “Just 3 hours sleep last night”, and we all know unless we have a good nights sleep we don’t function as well the following day.

So to help people function better or even just feel better I wanted to share what I could do for you. Now of course if it’s a major issue then I would always recommend you seeing someone like your Doctor or a hypnotherapist for a one to one session, but for a lot of us it is just a habit that our bodies have got into.

Woman-on-phone-in-bed

How many wake up at roughly the same time throughout the night? I bet it’s quite a lot. That’s because your body has got use to waking up at that time. In my sound file I give you tips how to break that habit. What you MUST NOT DO is pick up your phone and start scrolling through Facebook to see who else is awake. How many of you do that?

I won’t spoil the sound file but the biggest mistake that we all make is when we wake we focus sooooo hard on trying to get back to sleep. Well as strange as it sounds the last thing we want to do is actually think about sleep. Our body is already tired as are our muscles, so think about doing something strenuous Like going for a run or  doing some gardening, something that appeals to you. You of course don’t do it but you think about doing it and because your body is already tired it says “No way am I doing that” and it drops back off to sleep.

Try it it really works.

So if you would like to get my Better Nights Sleep Sound file. pop over to my Facebook page at fb.me/adkin23 Like my page message me saying I’m in and you will receive the link, but hurry the link will only be good for a week.

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I hope to hear from you.

Night Night. zzzzzzzzzzzz

Name XX