Time for a bit more positive thinking.

In this time of such uncertainty, I feel a bit of positive thinking is needed, don’t you? So what is positive thinking really? Positive thinking is the idea that you can change your life by thinking positively about things. This idea can sound a bit soft and fluffy, which is something of a problem for many people who recognise that just thinking good thoughts won’t change the world and therefore discard the whole idea.

However, research shows that positive thinking really does have a scientific basis. You can’t change the world, but you can change how you perceive it and how you react to it. And that can change the way that you feel about yourself and others, which can in turn have a huge effect on your well-being.

Quick Tips to Enable Positive Thinking

Gain Control of Yourself: Do not be critical of yourself to others. Whilst it can be useful to confide your concerns to someone you trust, telling the world is something else. Be kind to yourself. Make a list of your good qualities and believe them, believe in yourself.

Don’t Be A Complainer: By being negative you can isolate yourself from others and cut yourself off from positive solutions to problems.

Learn to Relax: Allow time for yourself each day, if only for a few minutes it is important to find time to relax and unwind.

Boost Your Own Morale: Treat yourself every now and again. Especially if you have overcome a problem or made a personal achievement.

Congratulate Yourself on a job/task well done and perhaps tell a friend. Justified praise is a good boost to morale.

Learn to Channel Nerves and Tension Positively: when you are nervous, adrenalin is pumped through the body and you feel more keyed up and alert. This extra energy can be used to good effect; enabling you to communicate with greater enthusiasm and intensity, for example.

Learn to be Assertive: Stand up for what you believe in and do not be pressured by others. See our section on Assertiveness for more.

WARNING! Don’t force it

Positive thinking is good. But you should not try to use it to block out everything negative that happens in your life. Sometimes bad stuff happens, and you will feel down about it. It’s no good pretending that you don’t because forced positive thinking can be counterproductive.

What you need to avoid is the ‘developing disaster’ scenario (the ‘my life is a total disaster’ tape that plays in your head). The best way to do that is NOT to tell yourself that your life is perfect. Instead, you need to recognise what has gone wrong but set it in context. For example: “Yes, I’m having a bad day, but tomorrow will be better. I will go home now and I will be able to think of a solution to the problem in the morning when I am less tired.”

Developing Habits of Positive Thinking

If you think about positive thinking as ‘being happy’, it is much easier to work out what you should do to develop habits based on it. For example, what do you like doing? And with whom do you like spending time?

Meditation
People who meditate every day show more positive thinking than those who do not. Is that the meditation causing the positive thinking, or just having time to think? It’s hard to tell, but it’s also hard to argue with the science. People who meditate tend to show more mindfulness, or ability to live in the present, which is also associated with positive thinking.

Writing
A group of undergraduates were asked to write about an intensely positive experience every day for three days. Amazingly, they had better moods and better physical health afterwards, and the effect lasted for quite a long time. This is a pretty easy thing to do: you could, for example, write a blog focusing on positive experiences, or keep a diary.

Play
It’s important to make time for yourself to have fun. Sometimes you might need to actually put it into your diary to force yourself to make that time, whether it’s to meet a friend for coffee, or go out for a walk or a bike ride.

Ask yourself questions.

The Power of Questions
Our minds actively look for answers to questions. So if you ask yourself ‘Why do I feel so bad?’, your mind will find lots of answers and you will feel worse. With NLP the key is to ask the right questions, for example:

Why do I want to change?
What will life be like when I have changed?
What do I need to do more/less of in order to change?
Questions like these naturally lead to a more positive outlook.

How to think positive thoughts
Positive thinking can be achieved through a few different techniques that have been proven effective, such as positive self-talk and positive imagery.

Here are some tips that to get you started that can help you train your brain how to think positively.

Focus on the good things
Challenging situations and obstacles are a part of life. When you’re faced with one, focus on the good things no matter how small or seemingly insignificant they seem. If you look for it, you can always find the proverbial silver lining in every cloud — even if it’s not immediately obvious. For example, if someone cancels plans, focus on how it frees up time for you to catch up on a TV show or other activity you enjoy.

Practice gratitude
Practicing gratitude has been shown to reduce stress, improve self-esteem, and foster resilience even in very difficult times. Think of people, moments, or things that bring you some kind of comfort or happiness and try to express your gratitude at least once a day. This can be thanking a co-worker for helping with a project, a loved one for washing the dishes, or your dog for the unconditional love they give you.

Keep a gratitude journal
Writing down the things you’re grateful for can improve your optimism and sense of well-being. You can do this by writing in a gratitude journal every day, or jotting down a list of things you’re grateful for on days you’re having a hard time.

Open yourself up to humor
Studies have found that laughter lowers stress, anxiety, and depression. It also improves coping skills, mood, and self-esteem. buy my book 100 days in isolation

Be open to humor in all situations, especially the difficult ones, and give yourself permission to laugh. It instantly lightens the mood and makes things seem a little less difficult. Even if you’re not feeling it; pretending or forcing yourself to laugh can improve your mood and lower stress.

Spend time with positive people
Negativity and positivity have been shown to be contagious. Consider the people with whom you’re spending time. Have you noticed how someone in a bad mood can bring down almost everyone in a room? A positive person has the opposite effect on others.

Being around positive people has been shown to improve self-esteem and increase your chances of reaching goals. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up and help you see the bright side.

Practice positive self-talk
We tend to be the hardest on ourselves and be our own worst critic. Over time, this can cause you to form a negative opinion of yourself that can be hard to shake. To stop this, you’ll need to be mindful of the voice in your head and respond with positive messages, also known as positive self-talk. Research shows that even a small shift in the way you talk to yourself can influence your ability to regulate your feelings, thoughts, and behavior under stress.

Here’s an example of positive self-talk: Instead of thinking “I really messed that up,” try “I’ll try it again a different way.”

Identify your areas of negativity
Take a good look at the different areas of your life and identify the ones in which you tend to be the most negative. Not sure? Ask a trusted friend or colleague. Chances are, they’ll be able to offer some insight. A co-worker might notice that you tend to be negative at work. Your spouse may notice that you get especially negative while driving. Tackle one area at a time.

Start every day on a positive note
Create a ritual in which you start off each day with something uplifting and positive. Here are a few ideas:

Tell yourself that it’s going to be a great day or any other positive affirmation.
Listen to a happy and positive song or playlist.
Share some positivity by giving a compliment or doing something nice for someone.

Say goodbye to negative thinking

The Effect of Negative Thinking
To understand the effect of positive thinking, it’s helpful to think about negative thinking first. Most negative emotions, such as fear or anger, are designed to help with survival. They cause us to take swift and effective action to save ourselves from whatever is threatening us. This means that they also prevent us from being distracted by other things around us. So far, so good, in survival terms. If there’s a bear standing in front of you, you don’t want to stop to pick flowers.

But negative thinking is not so great in more modern settings. If you’ve got a lot to do, and you’re worried that you won’t get it all done, the last thing you need is for your brain to shut down and focus only on how long your ‘To Do’ list has got. Negative thinking is a habit, something you can train your brain to avoid. Constant negative thinking can make you much more likely to be stressed and can lead to more serious problems, like depression.

Until Next week.

Take care and stay safe.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Do you send off good signals?

Hi.

Welcome to this weeks blog. This week I want to ask if you think you send off good signals. You see the way we think and the way we act really does affect others. How many times have you been in a bad mood and very quickly the people around you bring their moods down to match yours. It’s a bit like that rotten fruit in fruit bowl. It slowly starts to go mouldy and suddenly the other fruits that it has contact with start going mouldy too. It’s so easily done.

However, if you flip that mood and instead of being grumpy, or angry, you walk in smiling and joyous. you watch how quick others start to smile back. Our moods are infectious.

Most people recognize that they can learn a lot about a person by paying close attention to the person’s emotional reactions. Facial expressions, gestures, voice tone, rate of speech—all of these cues help us figure out how a person is feeling. Is he or she angry? Sad? Nervous? Afraid?

Yet, while we’re busy focusing on the emotional states of others, we usually don’t pay much attention to something equally, if not more important—our own emotional reactions to these social encounters.

Is this you?

The Impact of Negative Emotions


Think about how your own mood can be impacted by a salesperson who smiles, is helpful and kind versus one who is rude and unhelpful. In one case, the sales assistants happiness creates a positive connection between you, while the other experience may leave you feeling frustrated or even angry. In both cases, a complete stranger’s attitudes influenced your own and you may in turn, pass that attitude along to others – either through your good mood or your irritation.


In the case of negative emotions, you can actually have a greater impact than positive ones. When comparing the effects of a positive relationship to a negative one, the energising connection (or negative) has an impact that is four to seven times greater than a positive or energizing relationship. One place where this is easily seen is in the workplace.

Research has shown that a ‘toxic’ co-worker – someone who is always negative, gossips about others or has a poor attitude – can actually be damaging to a workplace, The negativity may lead to an environment where there is less information sharing, more conflict among team members, less trust and a lower performance by all members overall.


Dealing with a negative co-worker can leave others feeling emotionally tired, unhappy and dissatisfied, which is why it’s important to address the negativity rather than try to ignore it. The same is true when dealing with a negative friend or family member. In both cases, it may not be possible to stop all interactions, but it’s important to have a strategy for when you do need to interact. It starts by creating physical and emotional distance from the individuals. Consider the ways you can minimize interactions with the person and set boundaries.


Managers may consider reassigning projects to limit the interactions the individual has with the overall team. Co-workers can consider not engaging the individual beyond the minimum necessary. And if it is a friend or family member, limit conversations to those topics you known won’t trigger the negativity.

It can be challenging, but don’t let yourself get sucked into the negativity by joining in with it, such as complaining, gossiping or even by dwelling on the person’s behavior. It will only bring you down. Remember that the other person’s behavior has very little to do with you – they are dealing with their own issues.

If you see someone without a smile. Give them yours.

Tips for Staying Positive


While it may seem like we’re at the mercy of others’ attitudes, we do have some control – we can choose how we respond. Here are some tips to help you.


Share Your Feelings


When something gets under our skin, we can spend a lot of mental energy thinking about it. Instead, I suggest you find someone you trust and share your thoughts and feelings. It can take the sting out of the hurt and help you get moving in a positive direction again.


Talk to Yourself


Think about what words you can tell yourself to help gain some perspective on the situation or that can help calm you down when a “hot button” issue gets brought up. A simple phrase to remind yourself like “let it go” or “Calm & Relaxed” can help refocus your thoughts.


Surround Yourself with Positivity


Your time is a valuable and limited resource. Just like any investment, choose wisely how you are going to spend it. Limit the time you spend with negative people and situations and instead, focus on the positive. It may mean you limit the amount of time you spend with someone, which can be particularly difficult when it is a loved one. But negative emotions – like positive ones – can impact your overall health and sense of well-being. While it may feel selfish on some level, you are taking the steps you need to care for your own health.


Get Some Sleep


poor sleep and a couple’s ability to resolve conflict in their relationship. Essentially, couples who experienced poor sleep experienced more conflict in their relationships,were less empathetic toward the other person when trying to resolve the issue and less likely to achieve resolution. When you’re tired, you don’t have the mental energy needed to redirect negative emotions and can more easily be overwhelmed by them. So get the sleep you need so you have the energy to deal with any issues.


Nurture the Positive


There are many ways to help nurture the positive –keep a diary, get out in nature, find the awe in every day and practice happiness.


We have greater control over our emotions than we often realise, And taking care of our emotions is really about taking care of our overall health.

Until Next week.

Take care and stay safe.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Ways to stay calm during isolation.

It’s a weird time for everyone self isolation and social distancing can make it hard to feel normal and can be even tougher on your mental health so here are some 5 tips to help you stay calm

Clear up your social media

you are probably spending a lot more time scrolling through Instagram Facebook and Tik Tok but Have you ever wondered how this can have an effect on your mental health? Try unfollowing accounts that make you anxious, worried or angry. Replace them with some positive, good vibe accounts. Trust me you will thank me later

Plan your day Lola when your normal routine is disrupted it can cause you distress which impacts your mood and your productivity

take some time each day to write down how you want to spend your day. This will give you a sense of order and normality. Decide on your new routine and make sure you build in time to do things that you enjoy.

Practice mindfulness

there are lots of free apps and even Instagram and Facebook lives on practicing mindfulness at home. Whether it’s breathing techniques meditation or yoga there are practices that can be done with the whole family and it will help restore a sense of calm and peace within the house.

Take a break from the news.

With all the constant updates directly to your phone and coverage on TV from morning to night it can be hard to switch off. You might even feel guilty for doing so, So if you notice that this is having a negative effect on your mental health, try limiting how often you check the news.

Read a book or listen to an audio book

taking a break open your screens is so important. Reading or listening to a book can help you escape. Why not we read one of your favourites or take a peek of some mindful minute blogs.

Zoom for Online Sessions

Staying connected

Video calls

Phone calls are amazing, and are a great way to stay connected. But seeing someone’s face really can make a huge difference on a phone call. It can lift your mood and make you feel less lonely. There are lots of free video calling services you can use, and if you can connect to wifi this will help if you’re worried about your data allowance. Don’t be shy about going on camera – your loved ones will really appreciate seeing you, even if you’re in your pyjamas! You could really brighten someone’s day

Find a positive online community

If you do want to stay online, there are lots of positive online communities, where you can make new friends, get inspired and chat about things you care about. You could try searching for groups involved in causes, music or TV shows you are passionate about.

But remember to avoid anything that encourages you to do things which are harmful for your physical or mental health. If you’re worried by things you’re experiencing online, talk to someone you trust.

Reach out

You’re probably not the only person feeling worried, bored or frustrated. It’s a good time for a catch up, so don’t be afraid to make the first move and reach out to someone you haven’t heard from in a while. They’ll probably be very grateful to hear from you. Send them a message and let them know you care.

Feel productive

Make a list of all those things you said you would do but never get round to. It could be sorting out your wardrobe, doing some gardening, fixing things around your living space etc. These tasks can make you feel productive and give you a sense of accomplishment. Tidying your living space can also make you feel calmer and more positive. If you want to take the time off to rest and not be productive, that’s also fine too. Listen to your body.

Dealing with stressful situations at home

Walk away before you do or say something you regret.

Walk away from tense situations if you can

Being cooped up with other people will naturally be frustrating and might create tension between you and those you live with. You can defuse difficult situations by walking away from arguments until everyone starts to feel calmer. If you and those you live with do not have any coronavirus symptoms, you could go outside for a walk.

Create a rota

If you’re in a situation where lots of people are fighting over who gets to decide what you watch on TV, who cooks and cleans, or anything else, you might find it helpful to create a rota. This can help you agree a fair system and help avoid arguments.

Reach out for help

If your living situation is difficult, please don’t struggle in silence. Speak to someone you trust. Call a friend or a helpline. If you’re worried about being overheard, you could try texting or emailing instead. There are lots of helplines which also offer text and online messenger support.

Finally some calming tips for kids.

Play a mindful game

It can be hard to think of ways to keep your children occupied, especially without resorting to screen time. One way to occupy their time during the day, and help them feel calmer at the same time, is to play games that involve the senses. This can help them bring their attention back to the present moment and create a feeling of groundedness.

Here are some quick, simple, mindful games you can get your children involved in, without much preparation time and hassle:

Touch: Put a bunch of mystery items in a paper bag and take turns feeling one object at a time and guess what it is as you describe the texture and shape.

 Sight: Look around the room in silence for one minute, and point out all of the things you never noticed before.

 Sound: Set a timer for one minute and count how many different sounds you can hear with your eyes closed, and then share what you heard with each other.

Make Memories with the kids.

Cooking with a twist

When the children are home all day, there will be more cooking to get through and mouths to feed, which offers the perfect opportunity to get children stuck into some mindful cooking and baking – while learning multiple new skills at the same time!

Encourage your children to help you out with the daily cooking, teaching them small skills and keeping them engaged in the process of turning ingredients into meals. Focusing their attention on tasks such as stirring, mixing and weighing, can be an active, fun way to help them concentrate and keep their minds in the present, allowing stressful thoughts to leave the mind.

To further use the senses, encourage your children to describe the colours of the ingredients, the texture of the food during different parts of the process, and notice the different forms the meal has taken, from start to finish.

Baking in particular can be a fun activity for children to be occupied with, whilst also being a grounding and therapeutic experience. The repetitive actions and gentle rhythms when mixing or kneading can help relax the mind. This is a similar process to concentrating on your breath during guided meditation sessions.

It is also very rewarding; when children have finished baking and can see and eat the end result, it can provide them with a feeling of satisfaction. They can also share the food they made with the rest of the family, with the act of sharing being great for mental wellbeing, as well as bringing the family closer together through the exercise.

One of the best parts of this mindful activity is the delicious aroma of the baked goods filling the house, creating a lovely cosy atmosphere, perfect for the family to unwind in.

I hope you all stay safe and healthy.

Until next week. Make memories and smile.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Make isolation fun.

Hi

Happy Easter. Yep it’s Easter, didn’t that creep up fast. It’s going to be a strange one that’s for sure.

How are you keeping through this lockdown period? I am finding it is bringing out the best and the worse in people. So many are showing a caring side, and I’m not just talking about the amazing NHS staff and other key workers who are continuing to put themselves in the line of fire so that we can sort of lead a normal life. No, I’m talking about neighbours doing shopping for people who can’t get out or are unable to collect their medication from the chemists. Groups of people who have started online groups to help and assist others. There is a lot of good in people. Then we get the others who are only thinking about themselves. Hoarding, bulk buying, flouting the rules and putting us all in danger. Kindness and consideration costs nothing but selfishness and arrogance in this case can cost lives. Please think what you are doing and the consequences it may have not just on you but others as well.

Me, what have I been doing to help? Well I’ve been offering help and advice to people who are letting their anxiety rule their lives and in fact consume it. I’ve offered a few freebies and I’m letting people know I’m here if needed, but mainly I’ve been handling it with humour. At this time, you don’t want to keep reminding people what to do during the virus. They need to take their mind off of it. Here are a few more fun things that you can do during this isolation period. (See last weeks blog for other tips.)

Just because coronavirus has us house bound right now doesn’t mean we have to cancel our weekend plans. There are so many things to do when you’re self-isolating besides staring at an empty wall dreaming of simpler times.

Make A Quarantine Playlist

If ever there was a time to blast ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears it is now, Make your own or choose from one of the countless that are already on Spotify. The most popular is one called “COVID-19 Quarantine Party” and look, it’s a banger.

With tunes like ‘Fever’ by Carly Rae Jepsen, ‘Don’t Touch My Hair’ by Solange, ‘Hand In My Pocket’ by Alanis Morissette and even some Harry Styles, it’s a playlist that’s practically made for your Friday night in and wine in hand.

Don’t neglect yourself.

Do A Home Workout

Maybe your gym is restricting classes, or maybe you just don’t want to risk it, or maybe you’re just looking for an excuse to skip that 6am class. I get it. Luckily, there are tonnes of free workouts online that you can do from the comfort of your own home.

Take A Virtual Gallery Tour

It’s hard to believe, but there comes a point when even the YouTube rabbit holes dry up. When that moment hits, why not try a virtual tour? Some of the best galleries in the world have incredibly detailed online tours. No one can actually visit The Louvre in Paris right now, but you can explore its world-famous halls on your laptop. The same goes for the Great Wall of China, The British Museum and The Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. Go on, get some culture.

Become The Star Chef Of Your Dreams

There are few things in life more satisfying than a deep dive on Bon Appétit’s YouTube channel. From mac-and-cheese carbonara to spicy-sweet sambal pork noodles to an omelette soufflé, the inspiration is abundant. Now all your favourite food celebs are live-streaming cooking tutorials from their kitchens – including Michelin starred chef Massimo Bottura. Well, maybe our coronavirus self-isolation is the time to actually start cooking. There’s no better way to make peace with your housemates than freshly baked cheesecake.

Throwback

Learn a new musical instrument

Always dreamed of shredding like John Williams (that’s the guitarist, not the film composer) but never quite had the time? Learn the classical guitar, or another musical instrument of your choice, through self-teaching, listening and repeating, and online tutorials.

Join a virtual choir

Choirs, like the Stay At Home Choir and Gareth Malone’s Great British Home Chorus, are forming all over the world, with music-lovers everywhere practising and performing together via online video chat.

How about the kids?

Go on a minibeast hunt

Spring is well and truly kicking in now, and the warmer weather will bring lots of creepy crawlies out. So get your kids out in the fresh air and take a closer look at your garden. You’ll soon notice it’s teeming with wildlife! Can you find…

  • a worm after a spring shower
  • a bumblebee looking for nectar
  • a spotty ladybird exploring the grass
  • a slimy snail in a dark damp spot
  • a butterfly basking in the sunshine?

Make a loo roll bird feeder

This is messy fun kids will love to get stuck into. And it will help them learn about the birds in your neighbourhood.

You can make this simple feeder with items you probably already have at home:

Smother a cardboard tube in peanut butter (no added salt and sugar versions are suitable for birds).

Roll it in bird seed and thread some string through the hole.

Tie it up in your garden where birds will feel safe eating.

How many garden birds will you spot? Take a look at our blog to help you and your children identify them.

Go on a scavenger hunt

This is a fun idea for kids of all ages. You can keep it really simple for little ones – help them look out for different colours or textures in nature. For older children, challenge them to hunt for seasonal signs such as spring blossom or new leaves. Or ask them to see how many tiny natural objects they can find to fit inside a matchbox.

Make natural art

Art and crafts will be a popular way to keep kids busy. To mix things up, put the pencils and crayons to one side and look for natural art materials instead. Collect fallen leaves, petals and sticks and use them to make a picture or sculpture.

You could even use the objects as ‘stampers’ or paintbrushes – dipping them in paint and rolling, brushing or stamping them on paper to create interesting patterns and effects.

Have a picnic in the garden

Kids will soon tire of sitting around the same table for every meal, so pack up your lunch and take it outdoors. It’s a lovely way to keep mealtimes varied, and for everyone to get some fresh air.

If you don’t have a garden or it’s raining outside, have an indoor picnic on the living room floor instead. Kids will love the change from the norm and it will feel like an adventure.

Butterfly symmetry art

This craft has the wow factor! All you need is paint and some paper. Simply splodge paint on one half of your paper and fold it in half so the paint spreads on both sides. Carefully open it up to reveal a beautiful butterfly.

It’s a great way to teach youngsters about butterflies and how their wings are symmetrical.

Once dry, your butterfly will make a cheerful decoration for your home. Or you could even turn it into a card to send to a grandparent you won’t see for a while.

I hope some of these have helped. Let’s come out of this better people.

Until next week.

Take care. Stay safe, stay healthy.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Unplug that negative energy

Hi Welcome to this weeks blog. This week I want to talk about energy. Specifically negativity energy and kinetic energy.

Kinetic energy for those of you that are not sure is the energy of motion, observable as the movement of an object, particle, or set of particles. Any object in motion is using kinetic energy: a person walking, a thrown baseball, a crumb falling from a table, and a charged particle in an electric field are all examples of kinetic energy at work.

Kinetic energy can be defined as the energy which is present in every moving object. We can simply say that kinetic energy is the energy because of motion. Kinetic energy can be further classified into various types based on the type of motion of the objects. For example, rotational kinetic energy is the energy possessed by a body which is moving in circles, e.g. planets revolving around the sun have rotational kinetic energy; vibrational kinetic energy is the energy possessed by an object due to vibration, e.g. vibrating phone has a vibrational kinetic energy; translational kinetic energy is the energy possessed by an object moving from one point to another. Translational kinetic energy can be easily observed in our everyday life.

When walking or running, we possess some amount of kinetic energy. This is why we feel comparatively warm while running or after walking some distance. Sweat is the result of the heat produced by our body due to running. While walking or running, there is a conversion of chemical energy into kinetic energy.

So basically we are energy but what about the negative energy. Well we don’t want it, we don’t need it, so get rid of it.

As a hypnotherapist I see many people who say only bad things happen to me, or I’m surrounded by miserable, negative people. Do you know why that is? It is because you are sending out negative vibes. You are choosing to ignore all the good things going on around you and just focusing on all the bad things. 

If that is how you feel, you will continue to attract people feeling the same way as you, because negativity attracts negativity. You cannot hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life. Walk away from anything that gives you a bad vibe. There is no need to explain or make sense of it. It’s your life. Do what makes you happy.

Turn your day from a negative to a positive. Even how you respond is a great way to start.

Here 11 everyday phrases can easily be replaced, giving your vocabulary an instant positivity boost.

Every Day Positive Language

1. Why not? → Sounds good

2. No problem → Definitely!

3. Can’t complain → Everything’s going well, thanks

These phrases are meant to be positive – but the human brain has a negative bias, and subconsciously brings up all of the reasons not to do something, problems, or complains when processing these words.

4. I’m exhausted → I need to rest

Flipping the phrase to include a solution leaves both the speaker and the listener with a better taste in their mouths.

Positive Language at Work

5. I forgot → I’ll make sure to set a reminder

Again, focusing on what can be done will help the people around you expect a positive result.

6. Unfortunately, it will be impossible to finish the project on time because of the problems some people are causing with submitting their work late. → Can everyone turn in their portion of the project by Thursday so that we can complete the work on time and hit the deadline?

Email culture provides the perfect opportunity to work on positive language, as you can edit your words before sending them out to colleagues and clients. Look out for negative words like “unfortunately,” “impossible” and “problems” as flags for sentences to revise.

7. Constructive criticism → Feedback

The words you use to frame your feedback can have a significant impact on how it is received. To add to the positive vibe, healthy portions of compliments for achievements will help your colleagues take your comments on board.

Positive Language at Home

8. Don’t throw the ball inside! → Please take the ball outside.  Or

9. Don’t … → I like it when..

Telling children (and adults, too!) what you want them to do rather than what you don’t want them to do puts the focus on the desired action and ups your chances of a positive outcome.

10. I missed you so much! → It’s so great to see you!

While absence certainly does make the heart grow fonder, reunions can be a time to rejoice in the present rather than relating negative emotions from the past.

11. No! → I know you like ice cream, but eating too much isn’t healthy.

Unless you’re dealing with a serious safety issue, for example near a road or a swimming pool, explaining the reason behind your “no” helps children feel respected and included. As a guide, think about how you’d like your boss to speak to you.

Do you see what I’m saying, replace the negative words with a more positive approach.

If you come out of your bedroom and fall down the stairs. Don’t say “Oh that’s a greatstart to the day.”

No, you say ”Boy, I’ve never got down the stairs that quick before.” And smile that you were not hurt.

As a hypnotherapist I can help you release that negativity out of your system, We hold on to so much that no longer serves us.  Let’s do that mental detox. When you are ready contact me for a chat.

In the mean time. Stay positive and smile more.

Until next week, have a good one

Jon x

Jon Adkn BAHyp Hypnotherapist.

Hypnotherapist based in Suffolk, serving Suffolk, Cambridge and Essex.

Author of ‘Can I Change?’ A self help guide for anxiety.