Are you ready for your upgrade?

Welcome back.

Are you ready for an upgrade? Do you think you may not need it? What age are you 21, 35, 57 68? Whatever age you are that is how old the software that you are running on is. Would you use a computer or a phone with old struggling software. No of course not. So yes you are ready for a upgrade and a reboot.

Change is something everyone grapples with–whether it’s kicking a bad habit, coming up with new and original ideas, shifting a business focus, changing behaviors, changing company culture, or trying to change the world. Certainly the ability to create or manage change is a key issue for every business, because if you can’t get out in front of it, and even lead it, it may not be long before you’re at the back of the pack.

The question, of course, is how?

I’m ready for an upgrade.

The answer begins with recognizing that change at any level requires at least some dose of refreshing and resetting the brain. The good news is that neuroscience now confirms that you can effectively and sustainably do just that with a few proven steps that center on thinking, because when you change the way you think, you actually (chemically) change the connections in your brain.

Pointing the way is a successful non-drug behavior therapy developed by neuropsychiatrists working with the UCLA School of Medicine for patients suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), which is perhaps the most locked up form of behavior. The method centers on a mindful thinking approach and entails four basic steps that result in a reset brain and changed behavior.

  1. Relabel
    The first step is to relabel a given thought, feeling, or behavior as something else. An unwanted thought could be relabeled “false message” or “brain glitch.” This amounts to training yourself to clearly recognize and identify what is real and what isn’t, refusing to be tricked by your own thoughts. You step back and say, “This is just my brain playing games on me.”
  2. Reattribute
    The second step answers the question, “Why do these thoughts coming back?” The answer is that the brain is misfiring, stuck in gear, creating mental noise, and sending false messages. In other words, if you understand why you’re getting those old thoughts, eventually you’ll be able to say, “Oh, that’s just a brain glitch.” That raises the natural next question: What can you do about it?
  3. Refocus
    The third step is where the toughest work is, because it’s where behavior actually changes. You have to do another behavior instead of the old one. Having recognized the problem for what it is and why it’s occurring, you now have to replace the old behavior with new things to do–positive, desirable things, things you enjoy doing and can do consistently every time. This is where the change in brain chemistry occurs, because you are creating new patterns, new mindsets. By refusing to be misled by the old messages, by understanding they aren’t what they tell you they are, your mind is now the one in charge of your brain.

This is basically like shifting the gears of your car manually–your automatic transmission isn’t working, so you have to manually override it. The more you do it, the smoother the shifting becomes, eventually refurbishing the entire gearbox. Like most other things, the more you practice, the more easy and natural it becomes.

  1. Revalue
    It all comes together in the fourth step, which is the natural outcome of the first three. With a consistent way to replace the old behavior with the new, you begin to see old patterns as simple distractions. You devalue them as being completely worthless. Eventually the old thoughts begin to fade in intensity, the brain works better, and you no longer feel the tug of that pesky habit.

If these four steps are effective in rewiring and resetting the brain of an OCD sufferer, think what they can do to help you lead whatever change or win whatever challenge you may be facing.

Let it go.

HOW TO REBOOT YOUR BAD DAY
We all have them – bad days – and they can take over so much so that we cannot focus on anything. A bad day can turn into a bad week and then a bad month – snowballing to the point that there seems like no return. Reboot your bad day now!
Knowing how to reboot your day so that you can literally start over is a great trick to learn. Your bad day needn’t ruin your life.
Here is how you can reboot your bad day and start afresh:

  1. DELEGATE
    For some this is easy, but for others they feel that doing it themselves is far easier than outsourcing. But, in hindsight, which is where we generally realise we should have asked for help, seeking to share our tasks is the only way to go.
    Speak to colleagues who can help, look to outsourcing parts of our work, and free up your time. A nice start to reboot your bad day.
  2. STOP DOING WHATEVER IT IS THAT STARTED THE BAD DAY
    Walk away from the issue, even if just for a moment. Go do anything else that brings you joy. Even a few minutes is good enough to right your mood, set your mind in a clearer mode, and help you to deal with the issue at hand.
  3. DEAL WITH PERSONAL ISSUES QUICKLY
    Any personal problem can plague your mind to the point that you won’t be able to do a good job on anything else. Rather deal with it – although we understand that it may not be a quick fix, but addressing it, acknowledging it, and putting a pin in it, can help you to carry on with your day in a more positive light.
  4. SPEAK TO SOMEONE
    Often just having a chat with a close friend or family member can help you to overcome a dull and troublesome day. Reach out to someone and see if they can help you get over the issues and reboot your bad day.
  5. STICK TO YOURSELF
    Contrary perhaps, given our previous point, but most times all you need is to be alone with your thoughts. Take a minute or two to meditate, or even just sit in silence, and try to remove all the negative thoughts from your mind. Whatever the issue is, it will still be there afterwards, but with a clear mind you may be able to deal with it better.

If you need help to reboot I’m launching my new package next week. Update & Reboot. A way to declutter the mind and make you feel better about yourself.

Visit my website for more details.

Until next week, thank you for reading.

Have a great week

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Do you need an upgrade?

Hi, welcome back.

This week I want to blog about upgrading and rebooting. How often are we asked to upgrade our Phone, or tablet, and computer. Nowadays we live in a world that we have to constantly update the intelligent things around us. However the one thing that we do not upgrade is ourselves.

Think about it, when our computers upgrade the software, the first thing they ask us is do we want to delete orphaned or unused files. We are asked, do we want to remove unused programs, would we like to store duplicate files.

Now of course, we tend to do what the computer asks us, as we feel sure that it knows best. What happens when you don’t update or reboot your computer? Well, the first thing you will notice is that it starts to slow down, it takes ages for it too start up properly, it seems to take an age to search for either a piece of software that you know he’s on the computer, or perhaps a file or picture, that you know is there but it is taking a long time to find it. Another thing you may notice is that when you have a few programs open, the computer really struggles completing the jobs that you asking it to do.

How about our phones and tablets. So often now we get told there is a new update, and what do we do, we updated it. Not even questioning why we need to update it. The Phone or tablet was working fine, you didn’t see any need for updating, but the makers of the Phone or tablet Want you to update so that their product is working at the best for you.

So why am I talking about updating a Phone or a computer? I’m talking about this because we don’t update or reboot the most important thing to us. Our mind.

Let’s reboot.

Think about what I’ve just said above, if you are 18, 32, 47 or 55 that is how old your software is, don’t get me wrong it’s a brilliant piece of software. It knows everything that you have ever seen smelt or touched. It keeps a record of every person you have ever met, every place you have ever been, Every word you’ve ever heard. However it also keeps record of every mistake you’ve ever made, every put down you have ever heard, every injustice you have had to suffer.    

Now, contrary to belief no one is perfect. We all make mistakes and the best we can do is learn from them and move on from them, but the put downs any injustices tend to stay with us and in the worst case scenario we start to believe them. So with all that going on in our head it’s no wonder that just like our computers we start to slow down, we find it harder to multifunction, we can’t recall someone’s name perhaps as quick as we used to be able to. So like our electronic gadgets we need to update and reboot.

Just like a software update, we need to delete some old files, we need to File away those old injustices, put downs, guilts, hurts and anything else that you no longer need. We can do this, we can’t erase the past not that we would want to, but we can change our thinking, we can change the way we allow a past memory to affect us.  

When we born we didn’t have fears or anxieties, we didn’t have the weight of the world on our shoulders. We have learnt those behaviours, and if we have leant them we can unlearn them.

We all have and need a level of stress inside us, that is perfectly normal. However once that level is exceeded, and that happens very quickly, our mind starts to work overtime and never really settles down, which causes us to worry unnecessarily or over think situations that we have no control over.

It’s our thoughts that are letting us down, and we can’t have an emotion without having a thought first, and so the circle begins, and slowly but surely our mind fills up with a load of information that  we no longer need.

So what can we do? Well we can’t change the past we know that. What we can do is learn from the mistakes that were our fault, If the mistakes were not our fault we stop worrying as we have no control over them. If you were put down or made to not feel good enough. STOP! Think about today, the here and now. You’re here, you survived and you’re doing ok. What’s past is past. We can’t change it, so we learn from it and we make the most of what we have.

Coming Soon

Some people need help to move on from the past, that is why from the 1st of March I’m offering a new package. Update & Reboot 2020. An affordable way to rewire your brain. A way you can file away or delete all those unused memories. Clear a load of those learnt behaviours that no longer serve you, such as fears, phobias, hurts, griefs etc etc.

How does it work? I’m a hypnotherapist and by letting your subconscious know that you want to move on, you no longer what to hold on to those feelings, your subconscious will, with your help let those feelings go. Your subconscious knows what you need to let go of to make those changes that you want. So all you have to do is relax and let your body and your mind do the rest.

I’m excited with this new package. I’ve been trialling it now for a while and the results have been fantastic.  So now it’s time to make it available to you. If you are ready for an update and a reboot message me. I would love to help. It launches the 1st March and my website www.jonadkin.com from next week will have all the final details.

I look forward to hearing and hopefully working with you.

Until next week.

Have a great week.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

This is still me.

Hi Welcome back.

So continuing where we left off in last week in last weeks blog After leaving the hospital feeling a bit sorry for myself I jumped around jobs as I never had a plan B. (Kids, always have a plan B) More dislocations meant more time doing nothing. but I didn’t like to sit around doing nothing I got a job designing kitchens which I enjoyed for many years until… my other shoulder started to dislocate. This meant more ops, more time in plaster. Now I never was a fan of daytime TV Kilroy (The Jeremy Kyle of its day) never did it for me. so I offered my services to my sons school, helping with reading, art etc. The head teacher use to pick me up in the morning (She was not a great driver bless her) and I would jump on the school bus at the end of the day. She then employed me as the midday assistant. in the end, that stop gap lasted 26 years. raising to the heights of ICT Manager. Now during my time at the school I suffered even more illness. I had two heart attacks, 2 strokes and a few more dislocations. On paper I was a mess.

Now as much as I loved working with the kids, due to the illnesses and constant hospital visits (bearing in mind I was still in my 30s at this time) I lost my confidence and self worth. Looking back I was dipping into depression and I needed to do something about it. Yes life had dealt me a bad hand but I had two choices. Curl up on the sofa and give up or pull myself together and make the most of life. I chose to do the latter, but I needed help.

I went to W H Smith (No Amazon back then. Yes I am that old) and I bought myself Paul McKennas Self hypnosis books. Little did I know that would not only change my life but it would eventually guide me to my career today.

Not only did that book and the videos. Yes videos (do you remember videos? if not ask your Mum or Dad) They not only helped me get back on track they actually made me even more confident and full of self belief. Thanks to Paul I was back, better than ever.

All them years ago I never ever thought I would one day be a professional Hypnotherapist, but I like to study and read, so I continued to buy Paul’s books and became more and more intrigued as to why hypnosis did what it did.  I read lots of books and watched some DVD’s (yep we have moved on ) and then about 4 years ago I decided to train. never intending to do it as a career, I was just interested.

I studied, I worked with volunteers, I even roped my reluctant son in to help me. The more I did, the more I enjoyed it. I could do it.  I could really do it.

I qualified as a Hypnotherapist and I was so proud of myself. I had set myself a goal and I had reached it. this was the start of a whole new chapter of my life.

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Now I finished last weeks blog with a question. Did I make it as an entertainer? Well yes and no. Not in the way that I had envisaged I wrote Children’s books. The Adventures of Carla Bear. (6 in the set so far)  and over the years in the school I dressed up in many many guises and entertained the kids. I ran some of the school discos and every Summer fete and Christmas Bazaar I was there behind the mic. I even proved the Doctors wrong and I played the drums again. I couldn’t do 4 hour gigs like I use to, but I could play again and for years I taught the kids at school drums.  I loved my time at the school and seeing the kids flourish but it was time for a change.

A big change.

I started to offer my hypnotherapy services on evenings and weekends and I was really pleased in the way it was received. I had found a new purpose in life. I love to help people and the buzz that I was getting was making me want to do more.

So I did.

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I bit the bullet and I left the school. I didn’t have any support but what I did have is a lot of self belief and confidence. I know I could make it work, I believed in me.  It’s now approaching nearly 2 years since I made that jump. The house has not been repossessed, I’m not starving and actually I’m having more holidays than I ever did before. I’m making it work.

I have a lot of happy clients as you can see from my testimonial page. I’m helping others to make the changes in their lives and that makes me happy.

Moral of this story. Set yourself goals and reach them. Believe in yourself and have the confidence to go forward. You will make mistakes, but learn from them, don’t look back.

Until next time

Jon XX

 

 

What can it do for you?

Hi.

If you are a regular reader of my blog (and there are some of you) you know that I am a hypnotherapist. and an EFT/TFT Tapping practitioner  So last night I got talking to someone and the question arose “Well what could you do for me?” and the answer is lots actually.

You don’t have to be overweight, or a smoker or an anxiety sufferer to want to visit a hypnotherapist. We can can help you with so many aspects of your life and modern living. It’s not all about fears and Phobias.

Let me give you some examples, (and just so you know names, dates and possibly genders are changed in these case studies. to protect clients).

Case Study 1:

Client was feeling totally worthless and life had no purpose.

2 sessions with the client showed them that they were not worthless and that their life definitely had a purpose. We worked together on building their self worth, made them feel that they can handle what life throws at them, seeing new challenges as a way of growth. followed by reinventing their outlook on life. Replacing those damaging negative thoughts with more positive constructive thoughts.

Outcome:

This was 7 months ago. I met the client in town just last week.  I saw him before he saw me. He was smiling, his body language shouted confidence and he looked happy. When he saw me he came straight over with his NEW partner. (There wasn’t one at the time of the sessions) and he introduced her to me. He can’t believe the change in himself and he is now full of optimism for his future.

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Case Study 2:

Client was struggling with anger issues.

3 sessions booked in. Did some emotional release as to the root of the anger. then worked with the client showing them that they can release that anger before a hand is raised. then did some future pacing using visualisation. showing the client what life will be like once their anger is under control, their control.

Outcome:

Life has become so much more peaceful at home. and their partner is not living on their nerves anymore if they go out for a drink. The client is so much calmer and does not get angry over things that use to make them snap.

Case study 3:

Relationship breakdown.

My client came to me because of a relationship breakdown and didn’t feel that they could move on. we booked in 3 sessions and in those 3 sessions we used a method that I have in my toolbox called The Blueprint. It’s a fantastic content free protocol that will help shift negativity, unwanted thoughts, past trauma etc then once we have cleared those thoughts, those patterns of behaviour we start on rebuilding the confidence and self belief which is always in you. It just gets covered over and we tend to forget that we are in control of our thoughts and beliefs.

Outcome.

6 months later. a very happy independent person who now knows they don’t have to rely on others and can very much be their own person. They are dipping their toe back into the dating scene but with a new found confidence.

Here is a link to my testimonial page. I love to receive feedback and to see how my clients are doing.

So you see. It’s not just about fear of flying or fear of heights etc etc . It’s all about you and making you the best that you possibly can be.

I love this work and the satisfaction that it brings. Seeing the long term change in my clients makes me feel so pleased and proud that I could help them.

Pie

 

So why did I get into it, I hear you ask. (Go on someone ask please)… I will tell you. Because it saved me. In my 30s (I’m 57 now) I had some major illnesses. 2 heart attacks 2 mini strokes and various medical procedures. I lost my confidence my self belief and my mojo. So I had a decision to make I could have curled up on the sofa and watched Kilroy (the then equivalent of the Jeremy Kyle show) or I could pull myself together.

I did the latter. I started with self hypnosis books. Thanks Paul Mckenna. then as time went on not only did I regain all my confidence back I exceeded where I wanted to be. So a few years back I decided to train to become a hypnotherapist. Not intending to do it as a career I just wanted to know why it made a world of difference for me.

So I trained and the more I did the more I loved it. Not only could I do it I was bloody good at it (yep, blowing my own trumpet here) So I qualified and I started doing it in the evenings alongside my proper job. However the more I did, the more I loved it and the buzz from helping people was amazing so I took a leap of faith nearly 2 years ago and went full time.

I have not looked back. (Well I have but I fell over so I won’t be doing that again)

I believed in me and I got that from hypnotherapy and that’s why when you come and see me you can see the passion and the enthusiasm that I have, and having been there I know I can get you back on track.

So that’s my little story for this week. Next week I will blogging about ???? who know’s I just sit down and see what comes. however what I do know is that it will be of benefit to you the reader in some way. as that’s what I like doing. I like helping people.

Until next time

Have a great week

Jon X

Ps. I’ve also written a few books(Search Jon Adkin on Amazon) and painted a few pictures

Still Reframing.

Hi.

How did you get on last week? Did you try reframing? I’ve spoken to a few people this week who told me they found some of the tips useful, which is great.

So I thought I would dedicate another blog to help you understand how and why reframing can help in a lot of situations.

Sometimes when a day seems stressful or overwhelming, relaxation is just a positive reframe away. Positive reframe strategies take the ‘stress’ out of stressors – when we reframe, we look at the same situation in a new way that highlights possibilities rather than the “threats” involved. Viewing our stressors as challenges that we can face, even opportunities, rather than mere threats to our happiness, can help us out of feeling trapped. Once we broaden our perspectives with positive reframes, we are able to see more opportunities. More importantly, we can feel less stressed almost immediately. Try the following positive reframe strategies below. They can turn your next bad day into a day of new possibilities.

Think About What’s Stressing You. Rather than wallowing in feelings of frustration and helplessness, look at your situation with fresh eyes. What aspects of your situation are stressing you the most? What needs do you have that aren’t being met? Where do you feel a lack of control? Become aware, if you aren’t already, of the parts of your situation that you would most like to change if you could.

Look For What You Can Change. This first step may seem obvious, but it’s not always done. When you reframe, you change your perspective on things. When looking for what you can change, brainstorm for as many possibilities as you can, without judging right away if you can or can’t do them. Instead of thinking, ‘I wish I could change this,’ or even, ‘Can I change this?’, try thinking, ‘How can I change this?’ You may not be able to change everything, but with a positive reframe of the situation, you may see possibilities you weren’t aware of before.

Look For Benefits. If you’re in a situation you truly can’t change, or if there are aspects you can’t change, you can reframe your thoughts and change the way you feel about it by finding benefits in the situation you face. What opportunities might be found amidst the rubble? What strengths might you have gained by simply working through this? When you’re looking for benefits, it doesn’t mean you gloss over negatives; you simply notice positives as well and focus on them.

Find The Humor. This is my favourite. Have you ever felt that someday you’ll look back at this and laugh? Why not let ‘someday’ be today, and laugh now? When you reframe for humor, you find the aspects of your situation that are so absurd that you can’t help but laugh. You can often turn the most stressful aspects of a situation into the funniest, and share those bits of humor with those closest to you (or your 600 closest friends on Facebook) and receive support in the form of shared laughter. Find the humor in a stressful situation and the benefits of laughter as you reframe your way into a good laugh.

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I have so many clients who come to me  who have a problem with an inner critic. That little voice telling you, ‘you can’t do that’ or ‘you’re not good enough’ Whether you tell yourself, “I’m never going to be promoted,” or you constantly fret, “People think I’m weird,” negative self-talk affects how you feel and how you behave. In fact, the conversations you have with yourself often turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, imagine someone who thinks, “I’m socially awkward, and no one wants to talk to me.” To cope with his awkwardness, he avoids striking up conversations with people and limits his interactions. Consequently, people think he is socially awkward, and his belief about himself is confirmed.

So whether you call yourself names, or you always talk yourself out of trying something new, here’s how to deal with negative thoughts in a healthy way:

Recognize your negative thoughts.

When you get an email from the boss that says, “I need to meet with you as soon as possible,” is your first thought that you’re about to be fired, or do you think you must be getting a raise?

Many of your thoughts are automatic. They just pop into your head without any conscious effort.

So it’s important to take a second to evaluate your thoughts, so you can recognize thoughts that are unrealistic, unproductive, or irrational.

Look for evidence that your thought is true.

Just because you think something doesn’t make it true. In fact, most of your thoughts are more likely to be opinions rather than facts.

So ask yourself, “What’s the evidence that this is true?” Sticking with the example of the email from the boss, what evidence do you have that you’re about to be fired?

Create a list of the evidence that supports your thoughts. Perhaps you called in sick for days in a row recently. Or maybe you missed a deadline on an important project a month earlier. List as many reasons as you can.

Look for evidence that your thought isn’t true.

Then create a list of reasons why your thought might not be true. Maybe you are one of the hardest workers on your team, and you know that your boss rarely fires people without good reason. Or maybe you’ve been called into meetings with the boss before, and you’ve never gotten fired.

If you struggle to find contrary evidence — which is common when your emotions run high — ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend who had this problem?” If your co-worker said, “I’m about to get fired,” you’d likely be able to conjure up some reasons why that might not be true. So give yourself the same consolation you’d give someone else.

Reframe your thought into something more realistic.

Once you’ve looked at the evidence on both sides of the equation, develop a more realistic statement. Telling yourself, “My boss wants to talk to me. There could be many reasons for that email,” can help you keep things in proper perspective.

Don’t try to convince yourself of things that are overly positive — that won’t work either. Instead, the goal should be to create a statement based in reality.

Ask yourself how bad it would be if your thought were true.

Sometimes, the best way to deal with negative self-talk is to face it head-on. Ask yourself, “How bad would it actually be if I did get fired?” Then spend a few minutes thinking how you’d respond.

Whether you decided to apply for a different job, or you chose to start your own business, you’d have options. It wouldn’t be the end of the world. Reminding yourself that you’d eventually be OK can help take some of the panic, dread, and worry out of the situation.

Practice replacing negative self-talk

You might never get rid of your negative self-talk completely — and that’s fine. The goal is to recognize that your brain’s predictions and conclusions aren’t always accurate. Then, you’ll be less affected by the thoughts that tend to stir up uncomfortable emotions or unproductive behavior.

The more you practice replacing your negative self-talk, the more equipped you’ll be to reach your greatest potential. After all, you’ll never become your best self if you’re constantly beating yourself up or dragging yourself down.

Stop fighting yourself. You are your own best friend, and you wouldn’t treat your best friend the way you treat yourself so STOP!

Thank you for reading  this blog.  I hope it helps you to put a new perspective on life.

Have a great week and remember think positive.

See you soon

Jon X

PS. This blog consists of my thoughts and my esteemed colleagues in the health and wellbeing sector. We are here to help you. Please don’t be afraid to ask for help.

It’s ok not to be ok.

Jon Adkin BAHyp Hypnotherapist. Based in Haverhill Suffolk.