Have you noticed that your child or children have gone a bit quiet recently? Don’t blame it on the lousy weather, or their age. Look at the date. In a few short weeks they will be returning to school. Some will be changing schools some will just be moving up. However whatever they face, it can be very scary for them.
Do you remember how you felt all those years ago? Perhaps there was a school bully who has been out of your mind during the Summer break. or perhaps just the thought of a BIG new school with so many new faces is a scary thought. Whatever the reason, this can be a very anxious time for our children.

Don’t ignore their silence, Speak to them, ask them questions. Show them that you care and want to help. Many children are of a mindset that asking for help is a weakness. They couldn’t be more wrong. Asking for help takes such strength.
What can you as a parent or a guardian do to help? First thing is to notice any changes in their body language, in their manner. They may become more withdrawn, or even almost become invisible. Give them words of encouragement.
Words of encouragement when your child is struggling
- All you can do is try your best.
- I am so glad you asked for help when you needed it.
- Trust your instincts.
- I believe in you.
- Nobody is perfect, and that is ok.
- You can learn from your mistakes.
- Your perseverance will help you succeed.
- Believe in yourself, you can do it.

They say education is the key for success. Students therefore need to have a purpose to succeed in their studies. There is always a challenge to produce brilliant results. Words of encouragement are important to remind students that hard work never goes unrewarded. Parents, teachers and fellow students can spread this Words of Encouragement to give students hope for better days. It is important to note that students have different abilities. Producing good results is a teamwork effort. Teachers have to take the responsibility of encouraging weak students to continue working hard. Encouragement gives hope, hence a positive attitude to success.
What phrases do you say each day to your kids? Which ones do you want them to remember?
In the years since my parents passed, I am still inspired to notice the good things in life when I remember the way they would pause at those good moments and say, “This, now, this is good.” To this day I can hear my mother encouraging me when I try new things. Her voice of confidence from my childhood continues to give me confidence now.
Many years after my dad died, I can still hear him, when I get too serious saying, “Lighten up,” In moments of complete self-doubt and embarrassment, I still bolster myself by thinking of him singing, smiling and being there.
All of these words of encouragement from my parents and grandparents have stayed with me. Certainly, words can become meaningless when they aren’t followed with action, but nonetheless, words have great power. You can choose to add more positive ones to your days.
Below is a list of encouraging phrases to say to children. Choose which work for you. What can you see or hear yourself saying. It has to come across genuine and not just something you read once on a sign on a random wall.
- You are loved
- You make me smile
- I think about you when we’re apart
- My world is better with you in it
- I will do my best to keep you safe
- Sometimes I will say no
- I have faith in you
- I know you can handle it
- You are creative
- Trust your instincts
- Your ideas are worthwhile
- You are capable
- You are deserving
- You are strong
- You can say no
- Your choices matter
- You make a difference
- Your words are powerful
- Your actions are powerful
- Your emotions may be powerful
- And you can still choose your actions
- You are more than your emotions
- You are a good friend
- You are kind
- You don’t have to like what someone is saying in order to treat them with respect
- Someone else’s poor behavior is not an excuse for your own
- You are imperfect
- So am I
- You can change your mind
- You can learn from your mistakes
- You can ask for help
- You are learning
- You are growing
- Growing is hard work
- I believe you
- I believe in you
- You are valuable
- You are interesting
- You are beautiful
- When you make a mistake, you are still beautiful
- Your body is your own
- You have say over your body
- You are important
- Your ideas matter
- You are able to do work that matters
- I see you working and learning every day
- You make a difference in my life
- I am curious what you think
- How did you do that?
- Your ideas are interesting
- You’ve made me think of things in a completely new way
- I’m excited to see what you do
- Thanks for helping me
- Thank you for contributing to our family
- I enjoy your company
- It’s fun to do things with you
- I’m glad you’re here
- I’m happy to talk with you
- I’m ready to listen
- I’m listening
- I’m proud of you
- I’m grateful you’re in my life
- You make me smile
- I love you
I didn’t do this nearly enough with my own children and for that I feel bad, but if I can help others now and take away the anxiety, the fear, the desire to hurt themselves. Then it will be worth it.

I also run sessions for children at this time of year. Moving Up Moving On is in its 4th year now and I work with the children and sometimes the parents to ease that transition. If you would like to know more please drop me an email or a message and I would be happy to tell you more.
Until next month.
I wish you every happiness.
Jon

Find Jon on Facebook, Instagram, You tube and TikTok.
Books available by Jon Can I Change? a book to help you handle your anxiety on a daily basis. 100 days in isolation a fun book for both adults and children showing the funnier side of lockdown.