What do we want. Confidence. When do we want it? NOW!

We all need confidence and self-belief. If we don’t believe in ourselves how do we expect others to believe in us. When I speak of confidence, I am not talking about blind arrogance. Those that are overly confident fall into yet another category. There is a fine line between those two.

However, I am referring to the self-confidence needed to believe in one’s own skills, goals, and ability to succeed. When you believe in yourself you are more likely to take action. To stand up and seize the moment. And to persevere long after those who doubt themselves.

Here are 10 Reasons That Self-Confidence Leads to Success:

  • The Drive to Start Things – Confident people start things. They are not shy about striking out on a new idea even when those around them are still pondering it.
  • The Ability to Stand Up for Oneself – Confidence allows you to stand up for yourself in a fair and consistent manner. Otherwise, you may find yourself unheard or unfairly treated.
  • The Ability to Say No – Confident people have the ability to say “No” where appropriate. They do not take on unnecessary or inappropriate work or obligations.
  • The Ability to Say Yes – And at the same time, confident individuals say “Yes” to opportunity. They do not miss new options because they are shy. I have seen individuals’ pass up opportunities (even promotions) because they didn’t think they were “worthy.”
  • Confidence Overcomes Fear – Lack of confidence can lead to paralysis from fear. Fear of failure. Fear of what others think. Fear of the unknown. To succeed, you need the confidence to face and overcome your fears.
  • Believe In Themselves – Self-confidence means believing in yourself. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” He was right.
  • Set the Bar High Enough – Confident individuals set the bar high and aim high. Lack of confidence leads to weak goals, setting the bar too low, and mediocre results.
  • Stretch Your Limits – Confidence lets you know your limits and test them. By stretching your limits you increase them. You are stronger than you think.
  • Confidence Asks Questions – Confidence allows you to ask questions, even when others are silent. Confidence even lets you “ask for the job.”
  • Believe In Winning – Confident people believe in success. And more importantly, they believe in their ability to succeed.

Why Confidence Matters

Confidence helps us feel ready for life’s experiences. When we’re confident, we’re more likely to move forward with people and opportunities — not back away from them. And if things don’t work out at first, confidence helps us try again. It’s the opposite when confidence is low.

We have it all inside of us. It just gets buried. Or covered up, so we have to unearth it. Or peel back those layers. Just like an onion.

Confidence is a belief in the ability of yourself in certain aspects of life. It can involve either confidence in your appearance, talents, or achievements. Self-confidence is the belief in “self” that transcends all that you do and shows others that you know you can accomplish whatever the task is at hand.

In this blog, I will look at some of the different aspects of self-confidence and focus on why we need the confidence to be successful in life.

Why Do We Need Confidence?

Having confidence and avoiding self-sabotage is essential for several reasons. One reason is that it convinces others that we know what we are doing. People tend to trust people that they think exude confidence in themselves more than people who lack this sense of confidence. By illustrating to others that you can do the job or satisfy their request, you will be able to be more successful with your goals and business interests.

When it comes to social situations, self-confidence draws more people to you by promoting a sense of self-worth. People tend to be attracted to people who have confidence in themselves and studies prove that it even makes them seem more attractive.

Also, having self-confidence gives your mind positive self-talk about what you can do, as well. By practicing confidence on a regular basis, you will start to believe it is right and you will react with a more positive attitude to everything you do. This situation can lead to a stronger sense of achievement, even at times when you are not achieving as highly as you would like to do.

Believe in yourself.

Why Self-Belief Is More Important Than You Think

Self-Belief is linked to almost every element involved in a happy life. Self-Belief is linked to almost every element involved in a happy and fulfilling life. I highlight five key rewards of self-Belief below. Understanding these benefits is an important first step toward living your best life with confidence.

Less Fear and Anxiety

The more confident you become, the more you’ll be able to calm the voice inside you that says, “I can’t do it.” You’ll be able to unhook from your thoughts and take action in line with your values. If you’ve suffered from low self-confidence, you’re probably familiar with rumination, or the tendency to mull over worries and perceived mistakes, replaying them ad nauseam. Excessive rumination is linked to both anxiety and depression, and it can make us withdraw from the world. But by filling up your tank with confidence, you’ll be able to break the cycle of over-thinking and quiet your inner critic.

Greater Motivation 

Building confidence means taking small steps that leave a lasting sense of accomplishment. If you’ve ever learned a language, mastered a skill, reached a fitness goal, or otherwise overcome setbacks to get to where you wanted to be, you’re well on your way.

You might be thinking, “Well, sure, I was proud of my ‘A’ in Maths back in high school, but what does that have to do with anything now?” If you think back to a key accomplishment in your life, you’ll likely find that it took a lot of perseverance. If you could triumph through adversity then, you can do it in other areas of your life where you feel self-doubt.

As your confidence grows, you’ll find yourself more driven to stretch your abilities. “What-if” thoughts will still arise: “What if I fail?” “What if I embarrass myself?” But with self-assurance, those thoughts will no longer be paralyzing. Instead, you’ll be able to grin and act anyway, feeling energized by your progress in pursuing goals that mean something to you.

Yes you can

More Resilience

Confidence gives you the skills and coping methods to handle setbacks and failure. Self-Belief doesn’t mean you won’t sometimes fail. But you’ll know you can handle challenges and not be crippled by them. Even when things don’t turn out anywhere close to what you planned, you’ll be able to avoid beating yourself up. As you keep pushing yourself to try new things, you’ll start to truly understand how failure and mistakes lead to growth. An acceptance that failure is part of life will start to take root. Paradoxically, by being more willing to fail, you’ll actually succeed more — because you’re not waiting for everything to be 100 percent perfect before you act. Taking more shots will mean making more of them.

Improved Relationships

It might seem counterintuitive, but when you have more self-confidence and self-worth, you’re less focused on yourself. We’ve all been guilty of walking into a room and thinking, “They’re all looking at me. They all think I look dumpy and that every word I say is stupid.” The truth is, people are wrapped up in their own thoughts and worries. When you get out of your own head, you’ll be able to genuinely engage with others. You’ll enjoy your interactions more because you won’t be so worried about the kind of impression you’re making, and you won’t be comparing yourself to others. Your relaxed state will put others at ease as well, helping you forge deeper connections.

Self-belief can also breed deeper empathy. When you’re fully present, you’re more likely to notice that your date seems to be a little down, or that a friend in the corner looks like she needs a shoulder to cry on. When you’re not preoccupied with your own self-doubt, you can be the person who reaches out to help others.

Stronger Sense of Your Authentic Self

Finally, confidence roots you in who you really are. You’ll be able to accept your weaknesses, knowing they don’t change your self-worth. You’ll also be able to celebrate your strengths and use them more fully.

Your actions will be in line with your principles, giving you a greater sense of purpose. You’ll know who you are and what you stand for. You’ll have the skills to show up, stand up, and speak up. In other words, you’ll be able to let your best self shine through.

A Few Action Steps

Write down a favourite confidence quote and put it somewhere you’ll see it often. I do this all the time.

Do you have a photograph of a time you felt confident and successful? It could be a graduation photo, a picture of you as a kid after you learned to ride a bike or anything else that resonates with you. Hang it on your fridge or bathroom mirror, and reflect on all the steps it took to get to that point.

If you still need help. I offer packages for both men and women to bring out that confidence. Visit. www.jonadkin.com/packages to find out more.

Want to know more? Contact me or a hypnotherapist near you. Don’t let a fear or phobia control your life.

Until next time.
Stay safe. Stay happy.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Self-Love it’s not selfish. It’s important.

Hi welcome to my Valentine’s Blog.

My Valentines YouTube message.

If you are with your ideal partner today, or with your soul mate, congratulations. Be happy. However, if you are alone today and it doesn’t matter If you are recently separated, or if you have been unattached for a long time. You might want to ask yourself why you are alone. I see many people at my practice who really don’t like themselves. When they look in the mirror of a morning in some cases, they really do not like the person looking back at them.

If you feel like this, if you don’t like yourself, then how can you expect others to like or more importantly, love you. You must love yourself first, before others will love you. Self-love is not conceited, it’s important. If you don’t like yourself, if you don’t love yourself others around you will feel that negativity.  Our Moods are infectious, our body language and our actions, express so much of how we are feeling.

If you have gone out reluctantly with friends, and you just stand there and moan or you don’t join in conversations your mood will soon spread amongst your friends. If you are all doom and gloom, your friends will soon stop asking you to join them on nights out. Look at the bigger picture. If you was to walk into a pub, And there were some friends to the right looking unhappy and all moaning about the weather order price of bread, And there is another group of friends to the left all smiling and laughing and joking. What group would you join? Of course, you would join the happy cheerful group. You don’t want a night out and feel miserable and down. So, you see how you feel about yourself is important, not only to yourself but also to those around you, positivity attracts positivity and negativity attacks negativity. So, unless you want to drown in negativity start to change how you feel about yourself.

Before you can receive love and respect from others, you need to love and respect yourself. Some people equate self-love with selfishness. But that isn’t true , when you think this way it becomes hard to take care of yourself, so delete that limiting belief from your mind and create a new belief that says to yourself it’s OK to put my needs first. The good news is, when you love yourself fully you become a better version of yourself. Love attracts love so you are drawn to give to others, and you will have the energy to give and in turn receive the love that you want.

Self-love is important for numerous reasons. It has a profound impact on how we see ourselves and how we treat ourselves. Everyone needs self-love. While it’s great to be on the receiving end of love from others it’s also important to practice self-love daily. Self-love motivates you to make healthy choices in life. When you believe in yourself when you hold yourself in high esteem you are more likely to choose things that nurture you and your wellbeing. By that I mean healthy eating exercising or having a healthy relationship. By doing these things you expressed love for yourself and you showing life as being the best version of you.

Self-love is important also when it comes to setting boundaries in relationship. Having a clear understanding of what your boundaries are and being able to set them communicates that you value yourself. As a result, you’re more likely to have a more loving relationship. Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for the relationship you have with others. When you treat yourself with love and respect you give others permission to do the same.

Without self-love, you drastically decrease your ability to be successful at anything. I have seen first-hand a lack of self-love end someone’s career and any chances for success. How many highly successful people do you think look in the mirror every day and say, ‘I hate myself’. Without self-love you drastically decrease your ability to be successful at anything. Failed businesses, relationships, friendships, all for the lack of self-love. When you have self-love, you understand who you are at the very core of your being, and you accept who you are with all the flaws. Self-acceptance has, over and over again, been shown to be a key indicator of success. Self-love is the next step after self-acceptance imagine how vital it is for the success of true happiness or any aspect of your life. The process of achieving self-love may look different for each person but there are some key steps that everyone needs to take.

Figure out what you’re good at and what you’re not. Don’t kill yourself trying to get rid of weaknesses understand that no one is good at everything and work on improving your strengths.

Eliminate toxic relationships. The road to loving yourself is going to be extremely bumpy if you are trying to get there with a toxic person in your life.

Get rid of that sinking thinking. Find ways that work for you to challenge your inner critic and eliminate negative self-talk

Move forward with authenticity. If you are a place in life where you have to hide parts of yourself to get along, make the necessary changes so that you can be your true authentic self everywhere you go. If you can’t do that at work, find a new job. It takes way too much energy to wear a mask every day.

Treat yourself well. Take time to appreciate yourself. Congratulate yourself on a job well done. Have a great meal, go do something fun. Once you find your sense of self and become more self-aware and developed through self-love, opportunities will present themselves.

The only thing standing between you and your success and happiness is yourself. Go get some self-love you deserve it.

I think self-love is critical. I believe it is hard to love others well when you do not take the time to understand who you are and embrace your story. So many relationships are unhealthy and unbalanced because individuals are seeking others to make them complete.

No one is responsible for their own happiness but themselves. Too often we put others needs before our own. You can still please others but make time for yourself and it is by practicing self-love that you can find that healthy balance. So, do it now do it before it’s too late love and accept yourself and then allow others to love and accept you. I wish you every success

until next week. Have a great week and take care.

Best wishes

Jon X

Jon Adkin BAHyp Hypnotherapist.

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You Tube, Facebook and Instagram.

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