Do you listen to yourself?

Hi, Welcome to this weeks blog.

Let me ask you a question. Do you talk to yourself? Do you listen to yourself? For instance how many times have you perhaps dropped something and it broke or spilt everywhere, and you called yourself a F#$k!ng idiot. Or you can’t find your keys or phone after searching only to find them in the first place that you looked, so you call yourself stupid. We have all done it.

Well each time we put ourselves down our subconscious is listening and that’s what it thinks you want. so if it hears you calling yourself an idiot it will continue to help you do idiotic things. It has no logic but it has your best intentions at heart.

Lets take an average day. Lets say you get out of bed and you stub your toe on the bed leg or you stand on a charger cable. BANG! straight away you are cursing and your mood changes. So you go downstairs and your snappy with whoever else lives in the house. SO they then become defensive and suddenly everyone is in a bad mood, just because you stubbed your toe.

You are on the way to work, and it doesn’t matter if you are driving or getting a bus or train the same chain reaction has an effect on others. Let’s say you are in the car. Your running a bit late. The first set of lights you come to are RED. GRRRRR. your mood starts to change. It seems to take for ever to change, but eventually you move on only to be cut up my a cyclist. Your mood worsens. You start cursing them. They can’t hear you so they are unaffected. The only person it’s affecting is you. and so the day turn down begins.

You eventually arrive at work. because of all the red lights your parking space is taken. Actually it isn’t your parking space. you have just got into a habit of parking in the same place each day. However today you can’t, and that annoys you.

So when you actually get into the building you are in a foul mood. but hang on. Who are you angry at? Are you seeing the pattern of behaviour here. Can you see yourself in any of what Iv’e just described.

So because you’ve arrived in a bad mood all your colleagues are avoiding you, so you start over thinking the situation. You think they must dislike you, or they know something that perhaps you don’t. Suddenly your mood becomes even worse as you have now convinced yourself that everyone dislikes you and they are holding something back, which you need to know. You react, they react now the whole place is in a bad mood. Work is affected, sales are affected, friendships are affected.

All because you stubbed you toe this morning…

Let’s change the day

Life is like a mirror. it reflects our thoughts, our ways, our responses. Everyone in that work place was reflecting just one persons mood, their anger, their behaviour.

It all starts with you..

It doesn’t have to be like that. You have to learn how to flip those thoughts and react positively.

Let’s do that day again but with a positive slant.

Lets take an average day. You start the morning with a positive message on your smart speaker or phone. BANG! straight away you are smiling. So you go downstairs and you are happy and positive with whoever else lives in the house. SO they then become so much happier, and suddenly everyone is in a good mood, just because you listened to a positive sound file.

You are on the way to work, and it doesn’t matter if you are driving or getting a bus or train the same chain reaction has an effect on others. Let’s say you are in the car. Your running a bit late. The first set of lights you come to are RED. No problem, you put a motivational sound file on the car radio. your mood starts to change, you are suddenly feeling motivated. Eventually you move on only to be cut up my a cyclist. You admire his bike, no anger felt. You think to yourself that perhaps you could get a bike, it may be quicker and certainly healthier. You will good and positive. and so a good day begins.

You eventually arrive at work. because of all the red lights your parking space is taken. Actually it isn’t your parking space. you have just got into a habit of parking in the same place each day. However today you can’t, No worries. I can park around the corner. I could do with the extra exercise.

So when you actually get into the building you are in a great mood. Are you seeing the pattern of behaviour here. Can you see yourself in any of what Iv’e just described.

So because you’ve arrived in a great mood all your colleagues are looking up and smiling, The mood in the work place is straight away lifted. That day your company recorded its most productive day ever.

All because you started your day with a positive.

A solution

So why have I played out this scenario? well I have to be honest I have been working on something to help you through these strange times, where Covid seems to be affecting people in many different ways.

I’ve called it Update & Reboot, and what it is is a library of Non Hypnotic sound files that can help you feel better about yourself. Using a combination of NLP and the Law of Attraction. I’ve recorded a series of sound files covering many issues such as confidence, self-worth, sleep, finances, relationships and so many more. Visit www.jonadkin.uk for more information.

This library is going to be added to on a continuous basis and once you subscribe, with just a single payment of £49.99 you will have lifetime access to all the sound files.

These recordings are non hypnotic so don’t have to be listened to through headphones, so you can listen to them whilst getting ready in the morning, or whilst driving, or on the bus to work. They are accessible at any time. You work them into your schedule to suit you best.

I have been using these sound files since I started my business and I am sure that is why I have the attitude that I now have and have not panicked over the lockdown period. My mind was in a better place. Let’s help yours get to where you want it to be.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Ways to stay calm during isolation.

It’s a weird time for everyone self isolation and social distancing can make it hard to feel normal and can be even tougher on your mental health so here are some 5 tips to help you stay calm

Clear up your social media

you are probably spending a lot more time scrolling through Instagram Facebook and Tik Tok but Have you ever wondered how this can have an effect on your mental health? Try unfollowing accounts that make you anxious, worried or angry. Replace them with some positive, good vibe accounts. Trust me you will thank me later

Plan your day Lola when your normal routine is disrupted it can cause you distress which impacts your mood and your productivity

take some time each day to write down how you want to spend your day. This will give you a sense of order and normality. Decide on your new routine and make sure you build in time to do things that you enjoy.

Practice mindfulness

there are lots of free apps and even Instagram and Facebook lives on practicing mindfulness at home. Whether it’s breathing techniques meditation or yoga there are practices that can be done with the whole family and it will help restore a sense of calm and peace within the house.

Take a break from the news.

With all the constant updates directly to your phone and coverage on TV from morning to night it can be hard to switch off. You might even feel guilty for doing so, So if you notice that this is having a negative effect on your mental health, try limiting how often you check the news.

Read a book or listen to an audio book

taking a break open your screens is so important. Reading or listening to a book can help you escape. Why not we read one of your favourites or take a peek of some mindful minute blogs.

Zoom for Online Sessions

Staying connected

Video calls

Phone calls are amazing, and are a great way to stay connected. But seeing someone’s face really can make a huge difference on a phone call. It can lift your mood and make you feel less lonely. There are lots of free video calling services you can use, and if you can connect to wifi this will help if you’re worried about your data allowance. Don’t be shy about going on camera – your loved ones will really appreciate seeing you, even if you’re in your pyjamas! You could really brighten someone’s day

Find a positive online community

If you do want to stay online, there are lots of positive online communities, where you can make new friends, get inspired and chat about things you care about. You could try searching for groups involved in causes, music or TV shows you are passionate about.

But remember to avoid anything that encourages you to do things which are harmful for your physical or mental health. If you’re worried by things you’re experiencing online, talk to someone you trust.

Reach out

You’re probably not the only person feeling worried, bored or frustrated. It’s a good time for a catch up, so don’t be afraid to make the first move and reach out to someone you haven’t heard from in a while. They’ll probably be very grateful to hear from you. Send them a message and let them know you care.

Feel productive

Make a list of all those things you said you would do but never get round to. It could be sorting out your wardrobe, doing some gardening, fixing things around your living space etc. These tasks can make you feel productive and give you a sense of accomplishment. Tidying your living space can also make you feel calmer and more positive. If you want to take the time off to rest and not be productive, that’s also fine too. Listen to your body.

Dealing with stressful situations at home

Walk away before you do or say something you regret.

Walk away from tense situations if you can

Being cooped up with other people will naturally be frustrating and might create tension between you and those you live with. You can defuse difficult situations by walking away from arguments until everyone starts to feel calmer. If you and those you live with do not have any coronavirus symptoms, you could go outside for a walk.

Create a rota

If you’re in a situation where lots of people are fighting over who gets to decide what you watch on TV, who cooks and cleans, or anything else, you might find it helpful to create a rota. This can help you agree a fair system and help avoid arguments.

Reach out for help

If your living situation is difficult, please don’t struggle in silence. Speak to someone you trust. Call a friend or a helpline. If you’re worried about being overheard, you could try texting or emailing instead. There are lots of helplines which also offer text and online messenger support.

Finally some calming tips for kids.

Play a mindful game

It can be hard to think of ways to keep your children occupied, especially without resorting to screen time. One way to occupy their time during the day, and help them feel calmer at the same time, is to play games that involve the senses. This can help them bring their attention back to the present moment and create a feeling of groundedness.

Here are some quick, simple, mindful games you can get your children involved in, without much preparation time and hassle:

Touch: Put a bunch of mystery items in a paper bag and take turns feeling one object at a time and guess what it is as you describe the texture and shape.

 Sight: Look around the room in silence for one minute, and point out all of the things you never noticed before.

 Sound: Set a timer for one minute and count how many different sounds you can hear with your eyes closed, and then share what you heard with each other.

Make Memories with the kids.

Cooking with a twist

When the children are home all day, there will be more cooking to get through and mouths to feed, which offers the perfect opportunity to get children stuck into some mindful cooking and baking – while learning multiple new skills at the same time!

Encourage your children to help you out with the daily cooking, teaching them small skills and keeping them engaged in the process of turning ingredients into meals. Focusing their attention on tasks such as stirring, mixing and weighing, can be an active, fun way to help them concentrate and keep their minds in the present, allowing stressful thoughts to leave the mind.

To further use the senses, encourage your children to describe the colours of the ingredients, the texture of the food during different parts of the process, and notice the different forms the meal has taken, from start to finish.

Baking in particular can be a fun activity for children to be occupied with, whilst also being a grounding and therapeutic experience. The repetitive actions and gentle rhythms when mixing or kneading can help relax the mind. This is a similar process to concentrating on your breath during guided meditation sessions.

It is also very rewarding; when children have finished baking and can see and eat the end result, it can provide them with a feeling of satisfaction. They can also share the food they made with the rest of the family, with the act of sharing being great for mental wellbeing, as well as bringing the family closer together through the exercise.

One of the best parts of this mindful activity is the delicious aroma of the baked goods filling the house, creating a lovely cosy atmosphere, perfect for the family to unwind in.

I hope you all stay safe and healthy.

Until next week. Make memories and smile.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

How you going to use your time?

Hi

Welcome to this week’s blog. Well what a strange time we are living in at the moment. Covid-19 is effecting everyone in some way, and this week I have witnessed the best and worse in people. It seems we are once again a divided nation. There are those who are only thinking of themselves and stock piling products and essential commodities. In doing this they have taken those essentials away from the more vulnerable who cannot afford to buy in bulk. This sadly is very selfish, Then you have the small independent shops who we are asked to support and we find that they are vastly inflating prices to cash in on the situation. At this time we should be sticking together and helping our family, friends and our neighbours, and this is the flip side of the coin, the good ones. The caring ones.

I have noticed this week that a lot of Covid-19 support groups popping up in different areas. People offering to do shopping for others, people asking if anyone needs anything as they are going a bit further afield than the local shops. Paperboys and girls offering to drop of groceries for their older customers. That is the attitude we want to survive this uncertain time.  Pull together, help each other and look for the good in the situation.

No one could have predicted this, and no one expected it to escalate like this. Covid-19 is still not as dangerous as the flu. (Flu deaths around 56,000 per year) but it’s here and we have to deal with the situation.

Catch up on your reading.

So how will you deal with it? At this time of writing Schools were shutting today (20/03/2020) until further notice. The latest rumour says London possibly the country will be going on full lock down, and at the moment there is not end in sight.  So you can choose to be positive or negative about the situation. You can make a difference or you can remain selfish, and angry at the world and live in a constant dark mist for the next month or so.

Me I’m choosing to stay positive. Now those that know me will think how, why? I am self employed, so no clients, no income. I am a high risk for catching the virus, (dicky heart and I’ve had pneumonia) and other medical conditions that make me an easy target.

So why stay positive? Well that is easy. I cannot control what is going on so I cannot worry about it. I can take all the necessary precautions, and follow the guidelines but beyond that there is nothing more that I can do. So I have to make the best of a bad lot.

If you can’t control it don’t worry about it. If you suddenly find yourself at home with your family. Make the most of it. Do silly things with the kids remember they are as scared as you and they need their mind taking off of the current situations. Don’t just sit in front of the TV and moan. Do something different, so that when this has all passed the kids will look back with a smile.

  • Make dens, get some sheets and old quilts out, make a den over the dining room chairs, take a torch in there with you and join your kids for lunch. Use your imagination because outside that den can be a magical mystical world.
  • Dig out an old puzzle, and complete it as a family. Assign bits to find to different members of the family, (Youngest find the corner pieces, Middle kids find a dominant colour etc)
  • Play hide and seek. Kids love it when Mum and Dad play games with them and the sillier the better.
  • Find those old board games, those ones that you haven’t played in years.
  • Take the kids out in the garden, do some research on what flowers you have growing there, dissect a flower to show the kids all the different parts.
  • Go on a bug hunt. Challenge your children to find say 5 bugs and name them and then write down 5 facts about that bug (number of legs, habitat, texture etc).
  • Get some coloured pens and paper and draw. Be creative,
  • Cut up some old magazines and as a family make a collage but give each one a theme.
  • At the end of the day, sit down as a family and watch an old classic film possibly even an old black and white film and show the kids that you don’t need all the swearing and violence like they get nowadays.

Use this time to bond as a family. Without the need for social media, phones, tablets etc.

Play games. Have fun

If you are on your own, or just you and your partner. Don’t take it out on each other, work together.

  • Do those jobs that you have been putting off all this time,
  • Clear out the garage but do it together and enjoy some of the memories of the objects that you come across.
  • Clear out your wardrobes and drawers.
  • It’s Spring so actually do a Spring clean.
  • Sit down together and dig out the old photo albums, laugh at the fashions and the hairstyles that you once had. This is a good one to do with the kids as well.
  • Sit together and see if your joint favourite film or perhaps the first film you went to the cinema together to see is on Sky, or Netflix  (You may want to watch it this time as you may have been busy the first time).
  • Play cards or dominoes. Real games, not on your phone or tablet.
  • Cook together. Work together and make your favourite meal.

These are just some suggestion to make the time more pleasurable. There are so many more.

Even on bad days you can find something positive, Remember we are all in the same boat.

Let’s pull together, let’s work together. Be there for each other. Read, write and focus on the future.

You know what is important in this world and that is family and friends. Let’s rebuild these relationships and come out the other side better people.

I wish you every happiness, Stay safe and stay healthy. Look after each other.

Until next time

Much Love

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.