Are you ready for your upgrade?

Welcome back.

Are you ready for an upgrade? Do you think you may not need it? What age are you 21, 35, 57 68? Whatever age you are that is how old the software that you are running on is. Would you use a computer or a phone with old struggling software. No of course not. So yes you are ready for a upgrade and a reboot.

Change is something everyone grapples with–whether it’s kicking a bad habit, coming up with new and original ideas, shifting a business focus, changing behaviors, changing company culture, or trying to change the world. Certainly the ability to create or manage change is a key issue for every business, because if you can’t get out in front of it, and even lead it, it may not be long before you’re at the back of the pack.

The question, of course, is how?

I’m ready for an upgrade.

The answer begins with recognizing that change at any level requires at least some dose of refreshing and resetting the brain. The good news is that neuroscience now confirms that you can effectively and sustainably do just that with a few proven steps that center on thinking, because when you change the way you think, you actually (chemically) change the connections in your brain.

Pointing the way is a successful non-drug behavior therapy developed by neuropsychiatrists working with the UCLA School of Medicine for patients suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), which is perhaps the most locked up form of behavior. The method centers on a mindful thinking approach and entails four basic steps that result in a reset brain and changed behavior.

  1. Relabel
    The first step is to relabel a given thought, feeling, or behavior as something else. An unwanted thought could be relabeled “false message” or “brain glitch.” This amounts to training yourself to clearly recognize and identify what is real and what isn’t, refusing to be tricked by your own thoughts. You step back and say, “This is just my brain playing games on me.”
  2. Reattribute
    The second step answers the question, “Why do these thoughts coming back?” The answer is that the brain is misfiring, stuck in gear, creating mental noise, and sending false messages. In other words, if you understand why you’re getting those old thoughts, eventually you’ll be able to say, “Oh, that’s just a brain glitch.” That raises the natural next question: What can you do about it?
  3. Refocus
    The third step is where the toughest work is, because it’s where behavior actually changes. You have to do another behavior instead of the old one. Having recognized the problem for what it is and why it’s occurring, you now have to replace the old behavior with new things to do–positive, desirable things, things you enjoy doing and can do consistently every time. This is where the change in brain chemistry occurs, because you are creating new patterns, new mindsets. By refusing to be misled by the old messages, by understanding they aren’t what they tell you they are, your mind is now the one in charge of your brain.

This is basically like shifting the gears of your car manually–your automatic transmission isn’t working, so you have to manually override it. The more you do it, the smoother the shifting becomes, eventually refurbishing the entire gearbox. Like most other things, the more you practice, the more easy and natural it becomes.

  1. Revalue
    It all comes together in the fourth step, which is the natural outcome of the first three. With a consistent way to replace the old behavior with the new, you begin to see old patterns as simple distractions. You devalue them as being completely worthless. Eventually the old thoughts begin to fade in intensity, the brain works better, and you no longer feel the tug of that pesky habit.

If these four steps are effective in rewiring and resetting the brain of an OCD sufferer, think what they can do to help you lead whatever change or win whatever challenge you may be facing.

Let it go.

HOW TO REBOOT YOUR BAD DAY
We all have them – bad days – and they can take over so much so that we cannot focus on anything. A bad day can turn into a bad week and then a bad month – snowballing to the point that there seems like no return. Reboot your bad day now!
Knowing how to reboot your day so that you can literally start over is a great trick to learn. Your bad day needn’t ruin your life.
Here is how you can reboot your bad day and start afresh:

  1. DELEGATE
    For some this is easy, but for others they feel that doing it themselves is far easier than outsourcing. But, in hindsight, which is where we generally realise we should have asked for help, seeking to share our tasks is the only way to go.
    Speak to colleagues who can help, look to outsourcing parts of our work, and free up your time. A nice start to reboot your bad day.
  2. STOP DOING WHATEVER IT IS THAT STARTED THE BAD DAY
    Walk away from the issue, even if just for a moment. Go do anything else that brings you joy. Even a few minutes is good enough to right your mood, set your mind in a clearer mode, and help you to deal with the issue at hand.
  3. DEAL WITH PERSONAL ISSUES QUICKLY
    Any personal problem can plague your mind to the point that you won’t be able to do a good job on anything else. Rather deal with it – although we understand that it may not be a quick fix, but addressing it, acknowledging it, and putting a pin in it, can help you to carry on with your day in a more positive light.
  4. SPEAK TO SOMEONE
    Often just having a chat with a close friend or family member can help you to overcome a dull and troublesome day. Reach out to someone and see if they can help you get over the issues and reboot your bad day.
  5. STICK TO YOURSELF
    Contrary perhaps, given our previous point, but most times all you need is to be alone with your thoughts. Take a minute or two to meditate, or even just sit in silence, and try to remove all the negative thoughts from your mind. Whatever the issue is, it will still be there afterwards, but with a clear mind you may be able to deal with it better.

If you need help to reboot I’m launching my new package next week. Update & Reboot. A way to declutter the mind and make you feel better about yourself.

Visit my website for more details.

Until next week, thank you for reading.

Have a great week

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Don’t let your thoughts ruin your Christmas.

Hi. Welcome back to my last post of 2019. What a year it’s been. Ups and downs and a few surprises thrown in. However with all that I survived mine and you survived yours if you are reading this. so well done. The good bits hold in your heart the bad bits let them go. if you made mistakes, learn from them. if they weren’t your problem then don’t worry about it and just move on.

For my last blog I want to conclude my posts on  self confidence.

I am a great believer in positive thinking and self belief and daily affirmations have helped me so much. Remember what we say to ourselves we believe, our mind believes so think positive and you will stay positive.

Here are some quotes and affirmations that I would like to share with you for Christmas.

Self-Confidence Quotes

One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.

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Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment.

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Don’t let others put thoughts into your mind that takes away your self-confidence.
To excel at the highest level – or any level,

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you need to believe in yourself,

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Always be yourself and have faith in yourself.

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Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

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Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do and, at some point, you will.

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Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.

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Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

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As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

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Confidence is when you believe in yourself and your abilities, arrogance is when you think you are better than others and act accordingly.

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The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence .

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Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?

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To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.

Daily Affirmations

I believe in me.

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I’m getting stronger every day.

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I can do this.

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I am who I want to be

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I know my worth

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I’ve decided I’m good enough.

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I have the strength to change my story.

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I deserve to be happy and loved.

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I accept myself unconditionally.

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I love myself, and I accept myself as I am.

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I am confident.

When you get up in the morning choose an affirmation and smile at yourself in the mirror and say it to yourself. It’s a simple and powerful way to start your day.

Merry Christmas and I sincerely wish you all the very best for 2020.

See you in January. Have a good one.

Jon XX

These last few posts have been taken from my book ‘Can I Change?‘ Available from Amazon .It makes an ideal stocking filler.

 

Confidence. A Christmas gift for you.

Hi

Welcome back. This week I want to share some tips that will help you gain some of that confidence that you may feel you need.

Habits That Make You Feel Positive and Confident

Make a decision. Don’t consult with a friend about what to order at  dinner or call your spouse when shopping for groceries. Make a decision based on what your gut is telling you. It will make you feel stronger and allows you to practice trusting your inner voice.

Try something new. Confidence doesn’t come from perfection, it comes from effort.

Gently exercise. Exercise is the most important non-medicine           treatment for anxiety, depression, and insomnia. Just moving your body will break up negative thoughts and boost serotonin. Move your body every day, just be mindful of your energy and never overdo it. A seven minute workout or yoga in your living room will all work.

Clean up your news feed. Social media that is full of triggers, images, and updates can push you into a bad mood. Start following inspirational or “happy” accounts. HealthyPlace on Facebook or my Guidance Girl page always inspires. The more positive images you view the better you will feel.

Think back. Think back over the past week and write down every nice thing others said to you. Review the complements or comments when you’re feeling insecure.

Make a happy playlist. Music can  physiologically changes your brain and body. It can make you breathe faster, increase your pulse, and make you smile. Songs with a quick tempo and uplifting lyrics have been shown to be more effective at bringing out happy emotions. One of my favourites is ‘Happy’ by Pharrell. What are a few on your playlist?

Say no. Don’t say yes when you want to say no. You’re letting yourself down if you do favours you don’t want to do. Next time someone asks for something that will make you feel funky, and you feel the urge to say “yes,” remind yourself they are asking, not ordering. You will respect yourself more later on.

Practice posture. Hunching over at your desk can make you less        confident and more insecure according to research from Ohio State   University. Pull your belly button in towards your spine and pull your shoulders back when sitting or standing.

Give yourself credit for small, daily accomplishments, even if you are not done. Did you work on cleaning up your closet but still have stacks of clothes to fold? Great, take a moment to focus on what you have done, don’t just wait until a project is finished.

Get grateful. Write a thank-you note, or call someone to say thanks for meeting with you for lunch last week. People who are mindful of the positives in their life, create more positive energy. Comment on a post you like, email a friend, or even write down what you are grateful for in the moment (try and think of 5 new ones each time).

Remember, small shifts can produce remarkable results. The intention of building more positive thoughts and experiences will undoubtedly increase your self-confidence and self-esteem. One of my favourite  affirmations that may help is:

 

“I am perfectly imperfect.

I strive for better while loving all that I am today.

In loving myself today, I am better equipped to

improve myself tomorrow.”

Change2

Can I do it?

Self-Efficacy “You Can Do It – You’ve Got What It Takes, or Can Get What It Takes!”

Self-efficacy is where we believe that it is possible for us to acquire the knowledge and skills that will enable us to achieve goals and success. It enables us to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of        setbacks and adversity. The opposite of self-efficacy is feelings like, you are not bright enough, or you are not educated enough, you didn’t go to the right school or university, or you are lacking anything, that you use as an excuse to justify your belief, that you can’t do it, you’ve not got what it takes, and you can’t get what it takes.

Self-Esteem “You Matter as Much as Anyone Else, You Deserve it, and You Can Cope with Anything!”

Self-esteem, is the belief that we matter, that we are important, in fact as important as anyone else, and that in general terms, we can cope with pretty much whatever life throws at us, and that we have a right to be happy and successful. Our self-esteem is helped, if others around us, approve of us and what we do; but it also helped, if we feel we are     behaving virtuously, and also that we are competent and skilled at what we do, and that we have the ability to accomplish things we want to, when we put our minds to it.

Positive Self-Image “You are Good Enough in All Respects Just as You Are!”

Dr Maxwell Maltz, wrote a book called Psycho-Cybernetics, which has helped millions of people. Dr Maltz was a plastic surgeon, who regularly positively impacted people’s physical appearance with his plastic        surgery. He observed the difference between people who had a positive perception of their physical changes, and how that positive perception could massively improve their success and happiness in life, and those who had a negative or unchanging perception of their appearance. In the case of the latter, nothing changed in their life. Our self-image, can have a massive impact on our self-confidence, and on the outcomes we achieve in our careers and lives.

14 Ways To Shed Negativity And Achieve Happiness

How many of us feel complete self-love and self-compassion? How many of us take care of our own needs and rely on the way we look at         ourselves instead of seeing who we are through the eyes of our partners or our tribe? How many of us live from our core beliefs instead of living through what everyone is expecting of us?

Learning self-love and overcoming the barriers you’ve built against   yourself are the greatest secrets to living happily. Self-love can bring you closer to inner truth and allow you to attract and create the happiness you deserve in your relationship, career, and life. Self-love will bring peace, love, fulfilment, satisfaction, significance, groundedness,         freedom, maturity, wisdom, and magic into your life.

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Here are 14 self-love steps that you can begin today to attract the love and happiness you want in your life:

 

  1. Get to know who you are.

Imagine yourself walking down the street with each one of your values. How do you feel? What do you notice? How are you expressing yourself? This will help you identify yourself through your own eyes instead of through the eyes of others.

  1. Be true to yourself. 

You can only speak your truth and express who you are when you are 100% honest with yourself first. Sometimes we discover things we don’t necessarily like about ourselves, but you can spend your life complaining about your weaknesses, or you can choose to shift your attention to your strengths.

  1. Take care of your needs.

We often do what others need so we can feel good about ourselves through the way they react to our action. This causes us to live our lives through the eyes of others and not from our core. Instead, take a look at what your needs are. What is the ONE thing you can do today that would make you feel more loved? For example, you can cook for      yourself, take a hot bubble bath, meditate, clean your room, or go wild listening to your favourite band.

  1. Learn to breathe.

We have a tendency to pressure ourselves into doing things quickly. Step back a little bit and watch yourself in action. What is the worst thing that could happen if you don’t get your tasks done immediately? Would you rather stay overwhelmed or would you rather enjoy your journey as you are completing your tasks?

  1. Be patient with yourself.

Have self-compassion. Your role models probably worked their butt off to get to where they are now, so be patient, take your journey step-by-step, and enjoy how life is unfolding for you. You miss out on so much in life when you beat yourself up. Patience is key to discovering the beauty of the mystery that every moment brings to you.

  1. Listen to your inner child.

The inner child is a very powerful voice that resides deep in our being. It is the voice of the needs that have not been met ever since we were kids. It talks to us about fear, hurt, and the safety that it is longing for and the love that it hungers for. So when you are in a challenging situation, step back for a moment and ask your inner child, “What is really hurting me right now? What do I really want?”

  1. Count your blessings.

We all have SO many blessings in our lives that we tend to take them for granted. Count every single thing you have in your life and be thankful for it. It could be as simple as being grateful for drinking water whenever you want. Practicing gratitude helps us find more meaning and appreciation in our everyday life.

  1. Accept your feelings.

Pain is part of life, and accepting what you feel right now is the first step towards your happiness. You may be angry and in so much pain, you might be regretting what you have done in the past. Allowing yourself to feel helps you identify the root cause of your disappointment and the moment you understand this feeling, you shift towards discovering what you want in life and how to get it.

  1. Do one act of kindness everyday.

Say something nice to a colleague or family member and show appreciation to people around you. This is a great way to start acknowledging the goodness in yourself and reflecting it in others.

  1. Build your support system.

You don’t have to hang out with people who don’t make you feel good about yourself. You have a choice, so find people who think like you, who are positive, who show support, who are grateful, and who reflect the quality that you want to have in your life.

  1. Work with your fears.

We all have fears that have been engraved within us ever since our childhood. Understanding your fears and allowing them to surface will help you work through them. When you repress and reject your fears because of unrealistic expectations of being perfect that society imposes on us, you will be granting more power and control to your fears.

  1. Recognize the love that is within you.

You are made of of love, you are love, and love rules Earth. No matter how much you try to beat yourself up or indirectly hurt others, know that in your heart you are seeking love in every moment you live. The only guarantee you have in life is that you can give love without expecting anything in return. Be the love that you want to experience in your life and in your relationship.

  1. Forgive and let go of the past.

Beating yourself up and blaming your unhappiness on the past will trigger more suffering in your life. You know you have a purpose in your life, so you have a choice: let the past haunt you and inflict more suffering in your life, or forgive yourself.

  1. Smile.

Smiling is healing for the heart, the mind and the body. Certain experiences can bring a smile to our face, and sometimes a smile can truly shift a negative emotion to a positive one. It is a simple way to heal yourself and bring a smile to other people’s faces.

You can stop and overcome the barriers that are preventing you from getting what you want. You are strong and you are love in your own   nature, so how are you going to use these strengths to create the happy life and loving relationship you want?

Next week I will share some Affirmations and some powerful quotes that have certainly helped me over the years.

Have a great week

Jon X

Want to read more or keep tips like this to hand. Buy my book ‘Can I change‘ From Amazon.

Self confidence. You can have it.

Hi Welcome to December. I should have done this week but time just got away from me. This week I want to blog about self confidence.

SELF CONFIDENCE /ˌsɛlfˈkɒnfɪd(ə)ns
a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement.
“I feel terribly tired and completely lacking in self-confidence”
synonyms:
morale, confidence, self-assurance, belief in oneself, positiveness, assertiveness, assurance, self-reliance, selfpossession, composure, nerve, poise, presence, aplomb”she took care to build up his self-confidence by involving him in the planning”antonyms:
diffidence, unsureness
Self-confidence is a term that appears in many contexts, from improving mental health to helping people meet business goals and more. Self-confidence is more than a buzz word; it’s a genuine concept linked to mental health, wellbeing, and a positive way of being in the world. Self-confidence includes both feeling and doing.
Self-confidence is not so much a single idea as it is a process that involves how someone thinks about himself and others as well as how he functions despite challenges and uncertainties. Self-confidence applies to someone’s inner, private world and to his outer world around him or her.
The above definition explains what self-confidence is. These examples illustrate what self-confidence can look like. Self-confidence means:
Valuing yourself for who you are regardless of the blunders you make, the type of work you do or don’t do, etc.
Feeling good about yourself; feeling worthy despite imperfections
Being courageous enough to stand up for yourself and be assertive
Knowing that you’re worthy of others’ respect and friendship
Knowing and accepting the whole of you, both your strengths and weaknesses

The Meaning of Self-Confidence: A Quality-Of-Life Issue
How important is it for someone to develop self-confidence? The central issue relates to quality of life. Self-confidence influences the life someone creates for herself.
A lack of self-confidence negatively impacts someone’s quality of life. Having little self-confidence creates feelings of
Self-doubt
Unworthiness
Inferiority to others
Apathy
Loss of enjoyment
Anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges
In contrast, self-confidence creates
An awareness of strengths, limitations, and how to live your life with both
An acceptance of one’s faults; the realization that perfectionism is neither possible nor desirable
A feeling of being complete
A sense of inner peace
An experience of balance between one’s strengths and weaknesses
The ability to create and experience happiness
Self-confidence is experiencing genuinely positive feelings about yourself while accepting your faults and foibles. A definition of self-confidence is acting assertively because you believe in your inherent worth. Self-confidence means that even when you don’t like things about yourself, you love your whole self.

How confident do you seem to others?

Affirmations
Your level of self-confidence can show in many ways: your behaviour, your body language, how you speak, what you say, and so on. Look at the following comparisons of common confident behaviour with behaviour associated with low self-confidence. Which thoughts or actions do you recognize in yourself and people around you?
Doing what you believe to be right, even if others mock or criticize you for it.
Or
Governing your behaviour based on what other people think.
Being willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things.
Or
Staying in your comfort zone, fearing failure, and so avoid taking risks.
Admitting your mistakes, and learning from them.
Or
Working hard to cover up mistakes and hoping that you can fix the problem before anyone notices.
Accepting compliments graciously. “Thanks, I really worked hard on that prospectus. I’m pleased you recognize my efforts.”
Or
Dismissing compliments offhandedly. “Oh that prospectus was nothing really, anyone could have done it.”

As you can see from those examples, low self-confidence can be self-destructive, and it often manifests itself as negativity. Confident people are generally more positive – they believe in themselves and their abilities, and they also believe in living life to the full.

What Is Self-Confidence?

Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem.
We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering skills and achieving goals that matter in those skill areas. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we’ll succeed; and it’s this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks.
This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem , which is a more general sense that we can cope with what’s going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a feeling that the people around us approve of us, which we may or may not be able to control. However, it also comes from the sense that we are behaving virtuously, that we’re competent at what we do, and that we can compete successfully when we put our minds to it.
Some people believe that self-confidence can be built with affirmations and positive thinking. I believe that there’s some truth in this, but that it’s just as important to build self-confidence by setting and achieving goals – thereby building competence. Without this underlying competence, you don’t have self-confidence: you have shallow over-confidence, with all of the issues, upset and failure that this brings.

Building Self-Confidence

So how do you build this sense of balanced self-confidence, founded on a firm appreciation of reality?
The bad news is that there’s no quick fix, or five-minute solution.
The good news is that becoming more confident is readily achievable, just as long as you have the focus and determination to carry things through. And what’s even better is that the things you’ll do to build your self-confidence will also build success – after all, your confidence will come from real, solid achievement. No-one can take this away from you!
So here are my eight steps to self-confidence,

“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand brake on.” — Maxwell Maltz

1. Visualize yourself as you want to be.
“What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.” — Napoleon Hill
Visualization is the technique of seeing an image of yourself that you are proud of, in your own mind. When we struggle with low self-confidence, we have a poor perception of ourselves that is often inaccurate. Practice visualizing a fantastic version of yourself, achieving your goals.

2. Affirm yourself.
“Affirmations are a powerful tool to deliberately install desired beliefs about yourself.” – Nikki Carnevale
We tend to behave in accordance with our own self-image. The trick to making lasting change is to change how you view yourself.
Affirmations are positive and uplifting statements that we say to ourselves. These are normally more effective if said out loud so that you can hear yourself say it. We tend to believe whatever we tell ourselves constantly. For example, if you hate your own physical appearance, practice saying something that you appreciate or like about yourself when you next look in the mirror.

talkingtoself

To get your brain to accept your positive statements more quickly, phrase your affirmations as questions like, “Why am I so good in making deals?” instead of “I am so good at making deals.” Our brains are biologically wired to seek answers to questions, without analysing whether the question is valid or not.

3. Do one thing that scares you every day.
“If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.” — T. Harv Eker
The best way to overcome fear is to face it head-on. By doing something that scares you every day and gaining confidence from every experience, you will see your self-confidence soar. So, get out of your comfort zone and face your fears!

4. Question your inner critic.
“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” — Louise L. Hay
Some of the harshest comments that we get come from ourselves, via the “voice of the inner critic.” If you struggle with low self-confidence, there is a possibility that your inner critic has become overactive and inaccurate. Strategies like cognitive behavioural therapy help you to question your inner critic, and look for evidence to support or deny the things that your inner critic is saying to you. For example, if you think that you are a failure, ask yourself, “What evidence is there to support the thought that I am a failure?” and “What evidence is there that doesn’t support the thought that I am a failure?”
Find opportunities to congratulate, compliment and reward yourself, even for the smallest successes.

As Mark Twain said, “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

5. Help someone else.
Helping someone else often enables us to forget about ourselves and to feel grateful for what we have. It also feels good when you are able to make a difference for someone else.
Instead of focusing on your own weaknesses, volunteer to mentor, practically assist or teach another, and you’ll see your self-confidence grow automatically in the process.

6. Care for yourself.
“Self-care is never a selfish act — it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.” — Parker Palmer
Self-confidence depends on a combination of good physical health, emotional health and social health. It is hard to feel good about yourself if you hate your physique or constantly have low energy. Make time to cultivate great exercise, eating and sleep habits. In addition, dress the way you want to feel. You have heard the saying that “clothes make the woman.” Build your self-confidence by making the effort to look after your own needs

7. Create personal boundaries.
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”– Harvey Fierstein
Learn to say no. Teach others to respect your personal space. The more control and say that you have over your own life, the greater will be your self-confidence.
8. Shift to an equality mentality.
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” — Marilyn Monroe
People with low self-confidence see others as better or more deserving than themselves. Instead of carrying this perception, see yourself as being equal to everyone. They are no better or more deserving than you. Make a mental shift to an equality mentality and you will automatically see an improvement in your self-confidence.

I hope you enjoyed this blog on Self confidence.

Next week I will be offering some tips to help you with self confidence.

This blog is using extracts from my book ‘Can I Change?’ available from Amazon in Paperback or Kindle. It makes a nice stocking filler.

Until next week. Be safe and be happy

Jon X

 

Night Night.

Hi. Hope you are having a good week. This week I’m concluding my night time anxiety blog.

Has anyone found any of the tips or advice that I’ve offered helpful? If you have let me know.

So What else can you do to ease the night time anxiety? Theis is a strange one.

Make your worries real

Write down what’s on your mind at least an hour before bed. By committing thoughts to paper, you control them – they no longer control you and live on paper instead of in your head. Mentally, you can tick them off. Dr Guy Meadows suggests giving each worry a nickname, too, such as The Nag. ‘We can’t help these thoughts coming in, but they’re only a problem when they start to consume us,’ he says. ‘By giving them names, you speed up the process of defusion, so when unpleasant thoughts crop up, you can just acknowledge them – oh, there’s The Nag again – and go back to what you’re doing.’

Get moving earlier

Strenuous exercise in the evening may cause your nervous system to be too wired to sleep, says meditation teacher Will Williams. So either restructure your day to exercise in the morning, or use meditation after exercise to calm everything down and bring you back into balance.

Set clear goals

Have a clear plan for the next day, says psychologist Susanna Halonen. ‘If you know what priority number one and two are, you’ll spend less time worrying because you know those are the first two things you’ll get done. The more you turn this into a habit, the more you realise that if you plan ahead and prioritise effectively, the more easily you can get the important things done. This will lower your anxiety and help you sleep better.’

Woman-on-phone-in-bed

Curb your cyberenthusiasm

If we’re going to feel worry-free at night, it’s crucially important to have a mental switch-off, says Neil Shah of The Stress Management Society. ‘So have a digital blackout for an hour before bed, unplugging all devices that could stimulate the mind.’ browsing the latest headlines online may feel like light relief, but it actually keeps your brain stimulated. He says, ‘If checking your phone is part of your end-of-day routine, do this at least half an hour before you turn the lights out so you give your eyes and brain a break. Put any electronics out of reach or on airplane mode so you won’t be tempted to pick them up in the night – or if you can, turn them off completely.’
LCD screens emit blue light, which is the same sort as sunlight, so plays havoc with our sleep hormones. ‘Checking Facebook last thing at night is like shining a miniature sun into your eyes,’ says Dr Guy Meadows of The Sleep School. ‘Our body clock gets confused and starts thinking it’s daytime again, so it inhibits the sleep hormone melatonin and releases the waking hormone cortisol.’

Leave the room

If you simply can’t get back to sleep because your head is buzzing with worry, don’t look at the clock – you’ll fret even more. ‘Just get out of bed and go into another room for 10 minutes,’ says Dr Ramlakhan. ‘Leaving the environment you feel uncomfortable in breaks the association with worries. But don’t start checking your phone or scrolling through Facebook.
Go into the living room and under a dim light read a few pages of a light-hearted book, or yesterday’s newspaper. When you feel calm, return to your bed and begin some deep breathing again.’ He adds, ‘Turn your pillow over when you get back into bed. It will feel cooler on your face and creates a separation from the last time you were lying there.’

Anxiety quick tips.

Start Deep-Breathing
If you’re not focused on how to calm your body through slow, intentional belly-breathing, you’re missing out. Belly-breathing is free, location independent, and easy to implement.

Meditate instead of Medicate
Calm is an inside job. Give yourself the gift of serenity and start the day with ten minutes of solitude and positive energy. Think calm, measured and open-minded, and your daily activities will correspond.

Practice Self-Care
Get a massage, a mani-pedi, or a haircut. Nothing says polished and well-maintained like a sexy, healthy glow.

Eliminate fizzy drinks
That morning cup of jcoffee can jumpstart your day and provide warmth and comfort, but anything with high fructose corn syrup and 177 other ingredients will not.

Trim the Fat from Your Budget
Debt will keep you up at night and contribute to feelings of low self-worth and hopelessness. Take charge of your finances and stop spending on non-essentials. Track your daily expenses for a week or two and decide where you can cut back. Notice the items you accumulate mindlessly.

Plan a Day Trip
When you spend time in nature, you give your mind and body a much needed break from the hustle and bustle which causes you to Google things like “How to get rid of anxiety” in the first place. Chances are no matter where you live, there’s a serene, interesting and charming place within a couple hours.

Go to Bed Early
This may sound impossible if you’re accustomed to staying up late to catch up on the To-Do list. But this one’s a MUST. Sleep deprivation is a huge anxiety culprit. Inadequate shuteye can amplify the brain’s anticipatory reactions, upping overall anxiety levels, according to research

Wake up 15 Minutes Early
Like most anxious people, you’re probably rushing around in the morning and yelling at everyone in your wake, “Hurry up! We’re going to be late!” Go slowly, and set yourself up for a relaxed day ahead. If you start to worry about the To-Do list, take a deep breath and think, There is enough time.

Get Your Lavender On!
Lavender oil has many healing properties and can be used as a natural remedy to reduce anxiety and other nervous conditions. There are many ways to incorporate lavender into your calm tool kit:

Reduce Caffeine, Sugar and Processed Foods From Your Diet
Caffeine can cause heart palpitations if you ingest too much. Caffeine also can trigger panic or anxiety attacks, especially if you have an anxiety disorder. Hypoglycaemia, or low blood sugar, can also cause palpitations.

Know that Feelings Are Not Facts
One of the hardest jobs of a hypnotherapist is to convince your anxious client that the feelings of low self-worth, guilt and shame are not accurate. Negative thoughts cause negative feelings.

Challenge Negative Core Beliefs
Remember that thoughts precede feelings. Negative thoughts lead to negative emotions, which lead to negative behaviours.

Get Some Accountability
If you’re BFF with Nervous Nellie or Anxious Allen, put your keyed-up energy to good use. Vow to work on healthier ways to cope when feeling stressed together.
Attend a Social Gathering (Even If You Don’t Want To)
If you’re prone to social anxiety, it’s important to make time for socialization. It’s cool to be an introvert, but know that we live in a universe that revolves around connecting with others.

Exercise, Exercise, Exercise!
Exercise is nature’s anti-anxiety remedy. Besides clearing the mind, firing up the endorphins, and helping you sleep soundly at night, researchers have found that individuals who exercise vigorously and regularly were 25 percent less likely to develop an anxiety disorder within five years.

Accept Your Anxiety
Whether you inherited the “anxiety gene” from your parents, or your lifestyle, or both, accept your anxiety rather than fight it. It’s not about rolling over and giving up. Understand you have to work hard every day to bring calm to your environment. Remember there’s always options in life, and worse fates exist than being anxiety-sensitive. After all, when push comes to shove, at the end of the (stressed out) day, anxious people get the job done!

Schedule a Visit with a Therapist
Nobody deserves to feel bad. A qualified mental health professional is your best bet if your anxiety is unbearable.
PS. I know a good one. 🙂

www.jonadkin.com His brilliant

andre-hunter-5otlbgWJlLs-unsplash

These anxiety quotes not only provide inspiration,

but they give you a look into what it’s like living with anxiety and panic.

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”

“Even when things are wonderful.

I’m always waiting for something horrible to happen.”

“Even the simplest task can be overwhelming at time.”

“I say “sorry” a lot, mostly because I feel everything is my fault.”

“Today I will not stress over things I can’t control.”

“I’m terrified that even if I try my hardest, I still won’t be good enough.”

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

“You are strong for getting out of bed in the morning when it feels like hell.

Book Cover

I hope you enjoyed this Blog. Please let me know if you use any of these tips. More detailed advice can be found in my book ‘Can I Change‘ available from Amazon in Paperback and Kindle versions.

Until Next time

Have a great week. Best wishes

Jon X