Do you send off good signals?

Hi.

Welcome to this weeks blog. This week I want to ask if you think you send off good signals. You see the way we think and the way we act really does affect others. How many times have you been in a bad mood and very quickly the people around you bring their moods down to match yours. It’s a bit like that rotten fruit in fruit bowl. It slowly starts to go mouldy and suddenly the other fruits that it has contact with start going mouldy too. It’s so easily done.

However, if you flip that mood and instead of being grumpy, or angry, you walk in smiling and joyous. you watch how quick others start to smile back. Our moods are infectious.

Most people recognize that they can learn a lot about a person by paying close attention to the person’s emotional reactions. Facial expressions, gestures, voice tone, rate of speech—all of these cues help us figure out how a person is feeling. Is he or she angry? Sad? Nervous? Afraid?

Yet, while we’re busy focusing on the emotional states of others, we usually don’t pay much attention to something equally, if not more important—our own emotional reactions to these social encounters.

Is this you?

The Impact of Negative Emotions


Think about how your own mood can be impacted by a salesperson who smiles, is helpful and kind versus one who is rude and unhelpful. In one case, the sales assistants happiness creates a positive connection between you, while the other experience may leave you feeling frustrated or even angry. In both cases, a complete stranger’s attitudes influenced your own and you may in turn, pass that attitude along to others – either through your good mood or your irritation.


In the case of negative emotions, you can actually have a greater impact than positive ones. When comparing the effects of a positive relationship to a negative one, the energising connection (or negative) has an impact that is four to seven times greater than a positive or energizing relationship. One place where this is easily seen is in the workplace.

Research has shown that a ‘toxic’ co-worker – someone who is always negative, gossips about others or has a poor attitude – can actually be damaging to a workplace, The negativity may lead to an environment where there is less information sharing, more conflict among team members, less trust and a lower performance by all members overall.


Dealing with a negative co-worker can leave others feeling emotionally tired, unhappy and dissatisfied, which is why it’s important to address the negativity rather than try to ignore it. The same is true when dealing with a negative friend or family member. In both cases, it may not be possible to stop all interactions, but it’s important to have a strategy for when you do need to interact. It starts by creating physical and emotional distance from the individuals. Consider the ways you can minimize interactions with the person and set boundaries.


Managers may consider reassigning projects to limit the interactions the individual has with the overall team. Co-workers can consider not engaging the individual beyond the minimum necessary. And if it is a friend or family member, limit conversations to those topics you known won’t trigger the negativity.

It can be challenging, but don’t let yourself get sucked into the negativity by joining in with it, such as complaining, gossiping or even by dwelling on the person’s behavior. It will only bring you down. Remember that the other person’s behavior has very little to do with you – they are dealing with their own issues.

If you see someone without a smile. Give them yours.

Tips for Staying Positive


While it may seem like we’re at the mercy of others’ attitudes, we do have some control – we can choose how we respond. Here are some tips to help you.


Share Your Feelings


When something gets under our skin, we can spend a lot of mental energy thinking about it. Instead, I suggest you find someone you trust and share your thoughts and feelings. It can take the sting out of the hurt and help you get moving in a positive direction again.


Talk to Yourself


Think about what words you can tell yourself to help gain some perspective on the situation or that can help calm you down when a “hot button” issue gets brought up. A simple phrase to remind yourself like “let it go” or “Calm & Relaxed” can help refocus your thoughts.


Surround Yourself with Positivity


Your time is a valuable and limited resource. Just like any investment, choose wisely how you are going to spend it. Limit the time you spend with negative people and situations and instead, focus on the positive. It may mean you limit the amount of time you spend with someone, which can be particularly difficult when it is a loved one. But negative emotions – like positive ones – can impact your overall health and sense of well-being. While it may feel selfish on some level, you are taking the steps you need to care for your own health.


Get Some Sleep


poor sleep and a couple’s ability to resolve conflict in their relationship. Essentially, couples who experienced poor sleep experienced more conflict in their relationships,were less empathetic toward the other person when trying to resolve the issue and less likely to achieve resolution. When you’re tired, you don’t have the mental energy needed to redirect negative emotions and can more easily be overwhelmed by them. So get the sleep you need so you have the energy to deal with any issues.


Nurture the Positive


There are many ways to help nurture the positive –keep a diary, get out in nature, find the awe in every day and practice happiness.


We have greater control over our emotions than we often realise, And taking care of our emotions is really about taking care of our overall health.

Until Next week.

Take care and stay safe.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge. and online via Zoom

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon. and 100 days in isolation. A collection of funny original images of one mans decent into comic madness during lockdown

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Make isolation fun.

Hi

Happy Easter. Yep it’s Easter, didn’t that creep up fast. It’s going to be a strange one that’s for sure.

How are you keeping through this lockdown period? I am finding it is bringing out the best and the worse in people. So many are showing a caring side, and I’m not just talking about the amazing NHS staff and other key workers who are continuing to put themselves in the line of fire so that we can sort of lead a normal life. No, I’m talking about neighbours doing shopping for people who can’t get out or are unable to collect their medication from the chemists. Groups of people who have started online groups to help and assist others. There is a lot of good in people. Then we get the others who are only thinking about themselves. Hoarding, bulk buying, flouting the rules and putting us all in danger. Kindness and consideration costs nothing but selfishness and arrogance in this case can cost lives. Please think what you are doing and the consequences it may have not just on you but others as well.

Me, what have I been doing to help? Well I’ve been offering help and advice to people who are letting their anxiety rule their lives and in fact consume it. I’ve offered a few freebies and I’m letting people know I’m here if needed, but mainly I’ve been handling it with humour. At this time, you don’t want to keep reminding people what to do during the virus. They need to take their mind off of it. Here are a few more fun things that you can do during this isolation period. (See last weeks blog for other tips.)

Just because coronavirus has us house bound right now doesn’t mean we have to cancel our weekend plans. There are so many things to do when you’re self-isolating besides staring at an empty wall dreaming of simpler times.

Make A Quarantine Playlist

If ever there was a time to blast ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears it is now, Make your own or choose from one of the countless that are already on Spotify. The most popular is one called “COVID-19 Quarantine Party” and look, it’s a banger.

With tunes like ‘Fever’ by Carly Rae Jepsen, ‘Don’t Touch My Hair’ by Solange, ‘Hand In My Pocket’ by Alanis Morissette and even some Harry Styles, it’s a playlist that’s practically made for your Friday night in and wine in hand.

Don’t neglect yourself.

Do A Home Workout

Maybe your gym is restricting classes, or maybe you just don’t want to risk it, or maybe you’re just looking for an excuse to skip that 6am class. I get it. Luckily, there are tonnes of free workouts online that you can do from the comfort of your own home.

Take A Virtual Gallery Tour

It’s hard to believe, but there comes a point when even the YouTube rabbit holes dry up. When that moment hits, why not try a virtual tour? Some of the best galleries in the world have incredibly detailed online tours. No one can actually visit The Louvre in Paris right now, but you can explore its world-famous halls on your laptop. The same goes for the Great Wall of China, The British Museum and The Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. Go on, get some culture.

Become The Star Chef Of Your Dreams

There are few things in life more satisfying than a deep dive on Bon Appétit’s YouTube channel. From mac-and-cheese carbonara to spicy-sweet sambal pork noodles to an omelette soufflé, the inspiration is abundant. Now all your favourite food celebs are live-streaming cooking tutorials from their kitchens – including Michelin starred chef Massimo Bottura. Well, maybe our coronavirus self-isolation is the time to actually start cooking. There’s no better way to make peace with your housemates than freshly baked cheesecake.

Throwback

Learn a new musical instrument

Always dreamed of shredding like John Williams (that’s the guitarist, not the film composer) but never quite had the time? Learn the classical guitar, or another musical instrument of your choice, through self-teaching, listening and repeating, and online tutorials.

Join a virtual choir

Choirs, like the Stay At Home Choir and Gareth Malone’s Great British Home Chorus, are forming all over the world, with music-lovers everywhere practising and performing together via online video chat.

How about the kids?

Go on a minibeast hunt

Spring is well and truly kicking in now, and the warmer weather will bring lots of creepy crawlies out. So get your kids out in the fresh air and take a closer look at your garden. You’ll soon notice it’s teeming with wildlife! Can you find…

  • a worm after a spring shower
  • a bumblebee looking for nectar
  • a spotty ladybird exploring the grass
  • a slimy snail in a dark damp spot
  • a butterfly basking in the sunshine?

Make a loo roll bird feeder

This is messy fun kids will love to get stuck into. And it will help them learn about the birds in your neighbourhood.

You can make this simple feeder with items you probably already have at home:

Smother a cardboard tube in peanut butter (no added salt and sugar versions are suitable for birds).

Roll it in bird seed and thread some string through the hole.

Tie it up in your garden where birds will feel safe eating.

How many garden birds will you spot? Take a look at our blog to help you and your children identify them.

Go on a scavenger hunt

This is a fun idea for kids of all ages. You can keep it really simple for little ones – help them look out for different colours or textures in nature. For older children, challenge them to hunt for seasonal signs such as spring blossom or new leaves. Or ask them to see how many tiny natural objects they can find to fit inside a matchbox.

Make natural art

Art and crafts will be a popular way to keep kids busy. To mix things up, put the pencils and crayons to one side and look for natural art materials instead. Collect fallen leaves, petals and sticks and use them to make a picture or sculpture.

You could even use the objects as ‘stampers’ or paintbrushes – dipping them in paint and rolling, brushing or stamping them on paper to create interesting patterns and effects.

Have a picnic in the garden

Kids will soon tire of sitting around the same table for every meal, so pack up your lunch and take it outdoors. It’s a lovely way to keep mealtimes varied, and for everyone to get some fresh air.

If you don’t have a garden or it’s raining outside, have an indoor picnic on the living room floor instead. Kids will love the change from the norm and it will feel like an adventure.

Butterfly symmetry art

This craft has the wow factor! All you need is paint and some paper. Simply splodge paint on one half of your paper and fold it in half so the paint spreads on both sides. Carefully open it up to reveal a beautiful butterfly.

It’s a great way to teach youngsters about butterflies and how their wings are symmetrical.

Once dry, your butterfly will make a cheerful decoration for your home. Or you could even turn it into a card to send to a grandparent you won’t see for a while.

I hope some of these have helped. Let’s come out of this better people.

Until next week.

Take care. Stay safe, stay healthy.

Jon X

Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

Jon Adkin Author of ‘Can I Change?’ Available from Amazon.

Find me on You TubeFacebook and Instagram.

Unplug that negative energy

Hi Welcome to this weeks blog. This week I want to talk about energy. Specifically negativity energy and kinetic energy.

Kinetic energy for those of you that are not sure is the energy of motion, observable as the movement of an object, particle, or set of particles. Any object in motion is using kinetic energy: a person walking, a thrown baseball, a crumb falling from a table, and a charged particle in an electric field are all examples of kinetic energy at work.

Kinetic energy can be defined as the energy which is present in every moving object. We can simply say that kinetic energy is the energy because of motion. Kinetic energy can be further classified into various types based on the type of motion of the objects. For example, rotational kinetic energy is the energy possessed by a body which is moving in circles, e.g. planets revolving around the sun have rotational kinetic energy; vibrational kinetic energy is the energy possessed by an object due to vibration, e.g. vibrating phone has a vibrational kinetic energy; translational kinetic energy is the energy possessed by an object moving from one point to another. Translational kinetic energy can be easily observed in our everyday life.

When walking or running, we possess some amount of kinetic energy. This is why we feel comparatively warm while running or after walking some distance. Sweat is the result of the heat produced by our body due to running. While walking or running, there is a conversion of chemical energy into kinetic energy.

So basically we are energy but what about the negative energy. Well we don’t want it, we don’t need it, so get rid of it.

As a hypnotherapist I see many people who say only bad things happen to me, or I’m surrounded by miserable, negative people. Do you know why that is? It is because you are sending out negative vibes. You are choosing to ignore all the good things going on around you and just focusing on all the bad things. 

If that is how you feel, you will continue to attract people feeling the same way as you, because negativity attracts negativity. You cannot hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life. Walk away from anything that gives you a bad vibe. There is no need to explain or make sense of it. It’s your life. Do what makes you happy.

Turn your day from a negative to a positive. Even how you respond is a great way to start.

Here 11 everyday phrases can easily be replaced, giving your vocabulary an instant positivity boost.

Every Day Positive Language

1. Why not? → Sounds good

2. No problem → Definitely!

3. Can’t complain → Everything’s going well, thanks

These phrases are meant to be positive – but the human brain has a negative bias, and subconsciously brings up all of the reasons not to do something, problems, or complains when processing these words.

4. I’m exhausted → I need to rest

Flipping the phrase to include a solution leaves both the speaker and the listener with a better taste in their mouths.

Positive Language at Work

5. I forgot → I’ll make sure to set a reminder

Again, focusing on what can be done will help the people around you expect a positive result.

6. Unfortunately, it will be impossible to finish the project on time because of the problems some people are causing with submitting their work late. → Can everyone turn in their portion of the project by Thursday so that we can complete the work on time and hit the deadline?

Email culture provides the perfect opportunity to work on positive language, as you can edit your words before sending them out to colleagues and clients. Look out for negative words like “unfortunately,” “impossible” and “problems” as flags for sentences to revise.

7. Constructive criticism → Feedback

The words you use to frame your feedback can have a significant impact on how it is received. To add to the positive vibe, healthy portions of compliments for achievements will help your colleagues take your comments on board.

Positive Language at Home

8. Don’t throw the ball inside! → Please take the ball outside.  Or

9. Don’t … → I like it when..

Telling children (and adults, too!) what you want them to do rather than what you don’t want them to do puts the focus on the desired action and ups your chances of a positive outcome.

10. I missed you so much! → It’s so great to see you!

While absence certainly does make the heart grow fonder, reunions can be a time to rejoice in the present rather than relating negative emotions from the past.

11. No! → I know you like ice cream, but eating too much isn’t healthy.

Unless you’re dealing with a serious safety issue, for example near a road or a swimming pool, explaining the reason behind your “no” helps children feel respected and included. As a guide, think about how you’d like your boss to speak to you.

Do you see what I’m saying, replace the negative words with a more positive approach.

If you come out of your bedroom and fall down the stairs. Don’t say “Oh that’s a greatstart to the day.”

No, you say ”Boy, I’ve never got down the stairs that quick before.” And smile that you were not hurt.

As a hypnotherapist I can help you release that negativity out of your system, We hold on to so much that no longer serves us.  Let’s do that mental detox. When you are ready contact me for a chat.

In the mean time. Stay positive and smile more.

Until next week, have a good one

Jon x

Jon Adkn BAHyp Hypnotherapist.

Hypnotherapist based in Suffolk, serving Suffolk, Cambridge and Essex.

Author of ‘Can I Change?’ A self help guide for anxiety.

Are you positive?

H. Welcome to this weeks blog. All about positive thinking. So my first question to you is do you see yourself as a positive thinker? Do you see the problem or do you look for the solution?

You know the old question. Is your glass half-empty or half-full? How you answer this age-old question about positive thinking may reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and whether you’re optimistic or pessimistic — and it may even affect your health.

Indeed, some studies show that personality traits such as optimism and pessimism can affect many areas of your health and well-being. The positive thinking that usually comes with optimism is a key part of effective stress management. And effective stress management is associated with many health benefits. If you tend to be pessimistic, don’t despair — you can learn positive thinking skills.

Understanding positive thinking and self-talk

Positive thinking doesn’t mean that you keep your head in the sand and ignore life’s less pleasant situations. Positive thinking just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst.

Positive thinking often starts with self-talk. Self-talk is the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason. Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information.

If the thoughts that run through your head are mostly negative, your outlook on life is more likely pessimistic. If your thoughts are mostly positive, you’re likely an optimist — someone who practices positive thinking.

Did you know there are health benefits to positive thinking.

The health benefits of positive thinking

Researchers continue to explore the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health. Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:

  • Increased life span
  • Lower rates of depression
  • Lower levels of distress
  • Greater resistance to the common cold
  • Better psychological and physical well-being
  • Better cardiovascular health and reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
  • Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

It’s unclear why people who engage in positive thinking experience these health benefits. One theory is that having a positive outlook enables you to cope better with stressful situations, which reduces the harmful health effects of stress on your body.

It’s also thought that positive and optimistic people tend to live healthier lifestyles — they get more physical activity, follow a healthier diet, and don’t smoke or drink alcohol in excess.

Stop thinking those negative thoughts.

Identifying negative thinking

Not sure if your self-talk is positive or negative? Some common forms of negative self-talk include:

  • Filtering. You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all of the positive ones. For example, you had a great day at work. You completed your tasks ahead of time and were complimented for doing a speedy and thorough job. That evening, you focus only on your plan to do even more tasks and forget about the compliments you received.
  • Personalizing. When something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself. For example, you hear that an evening out with friends is canceled, and you assume that the change in plans is because no one wanted to be around you.
  • Catastrophizing. You automatically anticipate the worst. The drive-through coffee shop gets your order wrong and you automatically think that the rest of your day will be a disaster.
  • Polarizing. You see things only as either good or bad. There is no middle ground. You feel that you have to be perfect or you’re a total failure.

Focusing on positive thinking

You can learn to turn negative thinking into positive thinking. The process is simple, but it does take time and practice — you’re creating a new habit, after all. Here are some ways to think and behave in a more positive and optimistic way:

  • Identify areas to change. If you want to become more optimistic and engage in more positive thinking, first identify areas of your life that you usually think negatively about, whether it’s work, your daily commute or a relationship. You can start small by focusing on one area to approach in a more positive way.
  • Check yourself. Periodically during the day, stop and evaluate what you’re thinking. If you find that your thoughts are mainly negative, try to find a way to put a positive spin on them.
  • Be open to humor. Give yourself permission to smile or laugh, especially during difficult times. Seek humor in everyday happenings. When you can laugh at life, you feel less stressed.
  • Follow a healthy lifestyle. Aim to exercise for about 30 minutes on most days of the week. You can also break it up into 10-minute chunks of time during the day. Exercise can positively affect mood and reduce stress. Follow a healthy diet to fuel your mind and body. And learn techniques to manage stress.
  • Surround yourself with positive people. Make sure those in your life are positive, supportive people you can depend on to give helpful advice and feedback. Negative people may increase your stress level and make you doubt your ability to manage stress in healthy ways.
  • Practice positive self-talk. Start by following one simple rule: Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to anyone else. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. If a negative thought enters your mind, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what is good about you. Think about things you’re thankful for in your life.
Let those Negative thoughts just pass on by and hold on to the positive thoughts.

Here are some examples of negative self-talk and how you can apply a positive thinking twist to them:

Negative self-talkPositive thinking
I’ve never done it before.It’s an opportunity to learn something new.
It’s too complicated.I’ll tackle it from a different angle.
I don’t have the resources.Necessity is the mother of invention.
I’m too lazy to get this done.I wasn’t able to fit it into my schedule, but I can re-examine some priorities.
There’s no way it will work.I can try to make it work.
It’s too radical a change.Let’s take a chance.
No one bothers to communicate with me.I’ll see if I can open the channels of communication.
I’m not going to get any better at this.I’ll give it another try.

I’m going to carry this on next week talking more about positive thinking.

Have a good week and think positively especially about yourself. Treat yourself as you would your best friend.

Until next week.

Jon X

Jon Adkin BAHyp Hypnotherapist

www,jonadkin.com Based in Haverhill Suffolk, Serving, Suffolk, Essex and Cambridge.

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Subscribe to Jon’s YouTube channel here.

What can it do for you?

Hi.

If you are a regular reader of my blog (and there are some of you) you know that I am a hypnotherapist. and an EFT/TFT Tapping practitioner  So last night I got talking to someone and the question arose “Well what could you do for me?” and the answer is lots actually.

You don’t have to be overweight, or a smoker or an anxiety sufferer to want to visit a hypnotherapist. We can can help you with so many aspects of your life and modern living. It’s not all about fears and Phobias.

Let me give you some examples, (and just so you know names, dates and possibly genders are changed in these case studies. to protect clients).

Case Study 1:

Client was feeling totally worthless and life had no purpose.

2 sessions with the client showed them that they were not worthless and that their life definitely had a purpose. We worked together on building their self worth, made them feel that they can handle what life throws at them, seeing new challenges as a way of growth. followed by reinventing their outlook on life. Replacing those damaging negative thoughts with more positive constructive thoughts.

Outcome:

This was 7 months ago. I met the client in town just last week.  I saw him before he saw me. He was smiling, his body language shouted confidence and he looked happy. When he saw me he came straight over with his NEW partner. (There wasn’t one at the time of the sessions) and he introduced her to me. He can’t believe the change in himself and he is now full of optimism for his future.

Room 2

Case Study 2:

Client was struggling with anger issues.

3 sessions booked in. Did some emotional release as to the root of the anger. then worked with the client showing them that they can release that anger before a hand is raised. then did some future pacing using visualisation. showing the client what life will be like once their anger is under control, their control.

Outcome:

Life has become so much more peaceful at home. and their partner is not living on their nerves anymore if they go out for a drink. The client is so much calmer and does not get angry over things that use to make them snap.

Case study 3:

Relationship breakdown.

My client came to me because of a relationship breakdown and didn’t feel that they could move on. we booked in 3 sessions and in those 3 sessions we used a method that I have in my toolbox called The Blueprint. It’s a fantastic content free protocol that will help shift negativity, unwanted thoughts, past trauma etc then once we have cleared those thoughts, those patterns of behaviour we start on rebuilding the confidence and self belief which is always in you. It just gets covered over and we tend to forget that we are in control of our thoughts and beliefs.

Outcome.

6 months later. a very happy independent person who now knows they don’t have to rely on others and can very much be their own person. They are dipping their toe back into the dating scene but with a new found confidence.

Here is a link to my testimonial page. I love to receive feedback and to see how my clients are doing.

So you see. It’s not just about fear of flying or fear of heights etc etc . It’s all about you and making you the best that you possibly can be.

I love this work and the satisfaction that it brings. Seeing the long term change in my clients makes me feel so pleased and proud that I could help them.

Pie

 

So why did I get into it, I hear you ask. (Go on someone ask please)… I will tell you. Because it saved me. In my 30s (I’m 57 now) I had some major illnesses. 2 heart attacks 2 mini strokes and various medical procedures. I lost my confidence my self belief and my mojo. So I had a decision to make I could have curled up on the sofa and watched Kilroy (the then equivalent of the Jeremy Kyle show) or I could pull myself together.

I did the latter. I started with self hypnosis books. Thanks Paul Mckenna. then as time went on not only did I regain all my confidence back I exceeded where I wanted to be. So a few years back I decided to train to become a hypnotherapist. Not intending to do it as a career I just wanted to know why it made a world of difference for me.

So I trained and the more I did the more I loved it. Not only could I do it I was bloody good at it (yep, blowing my own trumpet here) So I qualified and I started doing it in the evenings alongside my proper job. However the more I did, the more I loved it and the buzz from helping people was amazing so I took a leap of faith nearly 2 years ago and went full time.

I have not looked back. (Well I have but I fell over so I won’t be doing that again)

I believed in me and I got that from hypnotherapy and that’s why when you come and see me you can see the passion and the enthusiasm that I have, and having been there I know I can get you back on track.

So that’s my little story for this week. Next week I will blogging about ???? who know’s I just sit down and see what comes. however what I do know is that it will be of benefit to you the reader in some way. as that’s what I like doing. I like helping people.

Until next time

Have a great week

Jon X

Ps. I’ve also written a few books(Search Jon Adkin on Amazon) and painted a few pictures